Rose screamed, but there was nothing anyone could do – Mickey was dead.
Rose was in a white room, lying on a bed. Mickey was there. So was the Doctor – both her Doctors, and her mum and her dad and Captain Jack. All the people that meant something to her were there, and they were all standing around her bed. She couldn't understand why she was in this room, but she felt more peaceful than she had in a long time, so she wasn't complaining. Her mum and dad looked so happy together, just how it was meant to be. And her mum was being relatively nice to the Doctors, for once. But why was she here?
"Doctor…what am I doing here? What happened?" But she got no response. She screamed, and no one even batted an eyelid. It was like they didn't know she was here.
"Rose, are you awake?" She heard someone – the Doctor…the new new Doctor calling her, but he sounded very far away. She didn't understand why he sounded so distant, when he was standing right next to her bed.
"Rose, open your eyes" There was the Doctor calling her again. She didn't want to open her eyes, they felt like lead. But she couldn't remember closing them. He was calling again, but getting nearer.
"ROSE". Suddenly she felt her eyelids being opened, and a blue light shined in them. What the hell was going on? She blinked a few times, and then the Tardis Medical Bay replaced the white room, and everyone apart from the Doctor vanished.
"Doctor what happened? Why am I here, and where's everyone gone?" Rose asked.
"Rose, you were…you were…you were hurt, and you've been sedated" the Doctor said, sounding relieved. Rose looked at him properly. He looked so tired, as though he hadn't slept for a week. But why wasn't Mickey there?
"Doctor…where's Mickey?" At the question, the Doctor stopped what he was doing and sat down on the bed next to Rose.
"Rose, what's the last thing you remember?" the Doctor asked.
"We'd just left Laisla Tortuga – the planet populated by turtles – and I was going to have a lie down in my room. Then nothing except random things that are popping up in my brain."
"Rose…what are you remembering? Try and tell me everything" the Doctor urged Rose.
"What's wrong Doctor? OK I remember going for a lie down, then…I must be remembering Deffrey Vale school, cos I remember Mickey holding one of those rats…which is weird. And then there was a lot of yelling and screaming, and why does my head hurt? Did I bash it against something?" Rose's voice trailed off.
"Rose…you…were knocked against a wall. That's why your head hurts. Is there anything else you remember?" asked the Doctor, trying to keep his voice calm.
"Why was I knocked against a wall? Another of the Tardis' wild landings? Doctor, where's Mickey…Mickey…I was in a room with Mickey, and you weren't there. And he was annoyed with you…but I can't remember why…and then there's just loads of voices, and a really really loud bang. Doctor, please tell me what happened" Rose pleaded. The Doctor looked at her, considering how she'd take it. Well, she'd remember sooner or later.
"Rose, you were raped. Mickey…something annoyed him, and he slammed you against a wall, and raped you. I was too late to save you. By the time I got to your room, it was too late. It had already happened. I started yelling at Mickey and he got annoyed and pulled a gun. He was going to shoot me unless I left the two of you alone, but I took your hand and we started to walk out the room. Mickey shot the gun at me but the kick-back meant that his hand jerked and the bullet went in your leg. Mickey was so upset over shooting you, that he shot himself, and he died."
Rose couldn't speak, and she was finding it hard to breathe. The room started spinning, and she felt like she was falling off the edge of a cliff. Suddenly she felt something sharp going into her arm, and then she was unconscious.
That night, the nightmares began.
Rose was walking through the Tardis when she rounded a corner and tripped over something, and ended up sprawled on the floor. She stood up and, cursing the Tardis, because there was no one else to blame, she knelt down to examine what had made her stumble. Suddenly, she could see what it was: Mickey's lifeless body. His eyes were open, and staring at her. Suddenly, she was lying on the floor of her room, leaning against the Doctor. There was an agonising pain in her leg, and the smell of gunpowder lingered in the air. She watched in horror as Mickey – in slow motion it seemed – put a gun against his head and pulled the trigger.
Rose woke up screaming, and the Doctor rushed over to bedside. He took her hand and Rose gripped onto it so hard the Doctor thought she might break all the bones in it.
"Rose, you had a nightmare. Look at me, focus on me" the Doctor said soothingly.
Rose's face was devoid of colour, and her breathing was quick and shallow. Her eyes were on the Doctor, but she wasn't focusing. The Doctor realised that she was still in her nightmare.
"Rose, wake up!" the Doctor said urgently. When that didn't work, he grabbed a handful of brightly coloured beads, and waved them under Rose's nose. This woke her up, coughing, and she leant forward to try and catch her breath.
"Doctor what are those things? They absolutely stink" Rose exclaimed, disgusted.
"30th century smelling salts, Rose. They're manufactured in a way that if the smell doesn't wake you up, the bright colours mesmerise you and eventually u wake up. Normally the smell gets you though. Did you have a nightmare?"
"Yeah, I was wondering through the Tardis and I tripped over Mickey's body…then I was in my room, and Mickey shot himself…is that what happened? Is it how it happened? I was leaning against you, and he just put it against his head and…and pulled the trigger" Rose stuttered the words out, struggling to hold back tears.
"Yes, Rose, that's how it happened. Was that all you dreamt about?" the Doctor asked casually as he prepared a syringe.
"I didn't dream about the r…what happened, if that's what you're asking. What you doing with that needle? Will it make me go back to sleep?" Rose asked, not quite wanting to know the answer…she hated needles with a passion.
"Yes it'll make you go to sleep."
"Ok, just…do you have a memory suppressant you can inject?" Rose asked, half-jokingly.
The Doctor, didn't answer, just took her hand in his as he pushed the needle into her, and then helped her lay back down.
The Doctor 'slept' in a bed next to Rose's, although he barely slept, instead spending all his time keeping a constant vigil over Rose. She'd moved into a room next to the Doctor's as she said that she couldn't sleep in her old room anymore. She had nightmares frequently, waking 5 or 6 times a night. When she awoke he could handle it, as he knew that all she'd dreamt about was Mickey's suicide. The Doctor laughed at his choice of phrase: "all she'd dreamt about". He meant that compared to having nightmares about the rape, nightmares about Mickey's demise were like a walk in the park. She never woke up when she dreamt about the rape, but the Doctor could see it on her face. Physically, Rose was recovering well. Her leg had healed nicely, and she could walk, and was sitting up and eating and talking. But emotionally, and mentally, the Doctor wasn't sure whether she'd ever heal. They'd be talking, and suddenly her eyes would go blank and the Doctor wouldn't be able to get anything out of her for 10 minutes or more. He'd decided, after the first nightmare, that he'd take her back home to her mum. If, when she was better, she wanted to travel with him again, then he'd come back for her. But right now, she needed her mother. He just had to work out how to tell her.
As if she could read his thoughts, Rose woke up – peaceful for once – and sat up.
"How are you today Rose? Feel up to taking a walk in the Tardis? Or even getting dressed?" The Doctor teased her, and she laughed. But it was a facsimile of the sound that her laughter used to be.
"Well if you go and make me a cup of tea, I'll get dressed." Rose said, giving the Doctor his cue to leave.
"So, Doctor, what's prompted this walk?" They were walking along one of the many Tardis corridors, that the Doctor had decorated to look like a grassy meadow.
"Rose, I've been thinking…after all that's happened…"
"You want to send me home?" Rose cut in. The Doctor nodded. "Permanently?" She asked.
"Its up to you. But you've just been through a major trauma, and, well I think you need your mum. And she's not coming onto the Tardis."
Rose stopped walking, and leaned against a wall. "You won't stay, will you?" She asked the Doctor.
"Stay around and wait for the mother of all slaps for not looking after you? If it helped you get better, I'd face daleks Rose."
"Can we go just for a visit…a very short visit at first, but, like, just for one night at first?" Rose asked.
"If that's what you want, but you need a rest Rose. Doctor's orders. Let's go and set the controls for the heart of the sun…nope that's a Pink Floyd song – great band. Especially the early years…Syd Barrett was a genius – psychedelic, but a genius. It was all downhill after he left…but where was I? Oh yes, lets go set the controls for the Tardis to take us back to London"
Thanx for reading…this chapter has been my longest so far, hope you enjoyed it. Next time…telling Jackie what happened.
