Nisha finished her exam and sat down beside Saffran. "So what's really the problem?"
"I don't know what you are talking about?"
"You can cut the act Saffran. In that respect, you are very much like her." Nisha put a comforting arm around her. "Between you and Martouf… what is going on?"
Saffran sighed. "It's not Martouf Nisha. He has done nothing wrong." She looked at her friend with eyes glistening with tears. "He has been the most wonderful person. So like him in so many ways. He has cared for me, supported me…"
"So where's the problem."
"The problem is Jolinar."
"Jolinar?"
"As the pregnancy progresses, she retreats further and further into me to protect the child. It's so quiet and empty. I think that maybe I envy Martouf in that he still has Lantash to communicate with and I have to rely on the people around me."
"Have you spoken to Martouf about this?"
"No. It's not that I don't think I could, it's just I have no idea how to. So many times in the past month Martouf has retreated and I've had to deal with Lantash on a daily basis. It's like Martouf hits a wall everytime I try and discuss things with him and Lantash just takes over. I know it's difficult for him but at the moment Jolinar doesn't have a voice and it's me dealing with all this. ME. The host. I need him to be open with me."
"I don't think that is the case Saffran. Martouf would never shut you out of his emotions."
"Oh really? So when I practically told him I'd fallen in love with him today, he allowed Lantash control – why?"
"You did what?"
Saffran sighed and got up of the bed. "I'm not confusing my emotions Nisha. I can differentiate between the two just fine. I've fallen for him. His little quirks are endearing to me and remind that he's not my Martouf – but I love him all the same."
"Oh my." Nisha stood up and looked at her. "How does he feel?"
Saffran picked up her shawl and slung it around her shoulders. "You'd have to ask him." She made her way towards the door before she called out over her shoulder. "But I doubt you'll get an answer."
