Alternate Politics

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a/n: I am glad that so many of you liked kick-ass Carter. Personally, I like her, too. There were a couple reviewers who didn't like her and their remarks got me thinking about what people who didn't know Carter very well or work with her daily might think of her. And thus sprung this chapter in my head. This chapter is meant to be humorous and if anyone takes it the wrong way and gets offended, I apologize.

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Chapter Three

Jack O'Neill had been waiting for Teal'c for over half an hour now in the SGC gym. They had agreed to meet for a little sparring at 1500 and it was currently 1535. He had already warmed up, punched the punching bag mercilessly and gave pointers to Lt. Mathers before he got in the ring with his CO, Major Roberts of SG-6.

He had finally decided to give up waiting and go in search of the large jaffa when said jaffa came walking into the gym.

"Teal'c! It's about time!" Jack exclaimed.

Teal'c bowed his head. "I apologize for my tardiness, O'Neill. I was assisting Captain Carter with a device SG-5 procured on P5X-989."

"What? Captain Carter's here?" Jack asked in surprise.

"Indeed, O'Neill. She arrived this morning to install an updated GDO system."

Jack scrunched his eyebrows closer in a look of confusion. "Then what was she doing with you and a doohickey from P5X-whatever?"

"As I stated, Captain Carter arrived this morning with the upgraded GDO system. She completed the installation shortly before lunch. I encountered Captain Carter in the commissary and offered my assistance in translating the writings on the device."

"Ah!…..So, is she still here?" Jack asked, meekly. He had admitted, only to himself of course, that he had developed a small 'thing' for the young captain. She was beautiful, smart, a kick-ass soldier. She was the total package. At least as far as Jack was concerned.

After the debriefing had concluded a few months back where they defeated Hanson, Captain Carter had accompanied SG-3 and SG-1, minus Tobias who had mumbled something about having work to do, to the commissary for dinner. Jack found himself competing with Makepeace for the captain's attention. They had, in hindsight, childishly cracked jokes and put each other down vying for the pretty woman's attention. Sam, probably only in politeness, laughed at their jokes, smiling prettily, and seemed to enjoy the dinner with the two teams. When they had finished eating, Makepeace had offered to retrieve a slice of cake for Captain Carter and Jack took the advantage to offer the captain a ride to Peterson to her awaiting flight. He had been thrilled when she accepted.

They had chatted the whole way to the base, and even now, months later, Jack couldn't get the woman out of his mind. He had been quite humiliated when he was on Argos, resembling an old man with little hair, liver spots, and wrinkles on every inch of his body, and Sam Carter had returned through the gate with Tobias. He was sure he had turned bright red in discovering the captain had been given the complete details of how he had acquired the 'virus' from Kynthia. The only thing he could think of was that all the time he had spent trying to impress this woman before just went down the drain with her seeing him as an old man. Unfortunately, that was the last time he had seen her. She had already been called back to the Pentagon by the time he had turned back to his rightful age. Knowing she was on base, he was determined for her to see him as the young, handsome, forty-year old man that he was.

"Well, Teal'c, as much as I would love to stay down here and spar with you, I'm afraid I have to get back to work now. But, Mathers over there would love to go a few rounds with you."

Teal'c bowed his head and turned his attention to the rather small-looking lieutenant who had turned white as a sheet following O'Neill's words.

Jack stuck his hands in his pockets and whistled down the corridors as he tried to think where the captain might be. Figuring if she was messing around with a device, she was probably still in the labs, so he decided to check there first.

Coming up empty in the labs, Jack continued his search around base, not finding her anywhere. When he discovered it was almost 1700 hours, Jack realized the woman had probably already left base and decided he would do the same.

Entering the locker room, he tried to hide his disappointment at discovering all of SG-3 there.

"O'Neill," Makepeace greeted at seeing the air force colonel enter the locker room.

"Makepeace," Jack returned, opening his locker.

"So, colonel, did you hear Captain Carter has a date?" one of Makepeace's men asked.

Jack's head spun around to see the marine who had spoken. "With who?" he asked, a little more emotion in his voice than there should have been.

"Don't know," Makepeace put in. "I asked her if she wanted to join us for drinks tonight and she said she already had plans with someone else."

Jack felt his heart fall. He should have known someone else would get to her first. Chances were, she probably had admirers everywhere she went. Jack, his day completely ruined, decided he would round up Daniel, Teal'c, and maybe Tobias to join him for dinner and drinks at O'Malley's in town.

By 1900 hours, all of SG-1 had entered O'Malley's and sat at a table. O'Neill groaned as he saw who was sitting at the table next to them. None other than SG-3. As far as marines go, Jack found himself able to tolerate Makepeace and the rest of his team, but only for a limited amount of time. Seeing them at work and now here was not making Jack a happy camper.

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Sam Carter had left the SGC shortly before 1700 hours and headed to the home of General Hammond. The last time she was in town, General Hammond had invited her to dinner so she could catch up with Jenny, George's daughter. Sam and Jenny were the same age and had been close friends when their dad's were stationed at the same air base when they were children. When Mrs. Hammond had died and Jenny and her husband divorced, Jenny thought it would be best for everyone for her and her daughters to move in with her dad. George was thrilled to have his daughter and granddaughters living with him.

Unfortunately, shortly after Sam had arrived at the general's house last time, she was informed there was a crisis at the SGC and she was asked to go there and see if she could be of assistance. She had ended up spending quite a bit of time trying to figure out how to reverse the nanites in Col. O'Neill's blood and had never made it to dinner with the Hammond's.

So, this time, she and Jenny had agreed to let George watch Kayla and Tessa and the two old friends were going to go out to dinner and catch up. Jenny had mentioned a popular steakhouse in town called O'Malley's, so once Sam picked up Jenny, they headed to the restaurant.

Sam was quite surprised that the restaurant was so packed on a Wednesday evening. The waitress directed them to one of the last few tables left in the restaurant. It was a table for two in a more private section of O'Malley's. Both women ordered a beer before looking over the menus.

Unknown to the women, they had been watched intensely upon entering the restaurant. All of SG-3 and SG-1 saw Captain Carter enter the restaurant, walking very close to a woman.

"Captain Carter's date is a woman?" Jack asked in shock, looking over at Makepeace.

Makepeace shrugged. "I can't believe it! Why is it always the hot ones who turn on us?"

"What are you talking about?" Daniel cut in.

"Don't you see, Jackson?" Makepeace answered. "Captain Carter is on a date with a woman!"

"So?" Daniel wasn't getting it.

"So?" one of the other marines picked up. "She is with a woman, as in she prefers women over men."

"What? You guys are nuts! Sam's not like that!" Daniel exclaimed, shocked that they thought Sam was that way.

"It kind of makes sense, Daniel," Jack cut in, sadly. "She is all into that ultra feminist crap and she can kick ass."

Tobias laughed. "You guys really think Captain Carter is gay?"

"She was engaged," Daniel added, his voice squeaking slightly. "To a man!"

"But, she broke it off. Perhaps when she decided to come out of the closet," Makepeace put in.

"I do not understand," Teal'c announced. "What does Captain Carter having dinner with a woman have to do with being happy and of what reason would she have for being in a closet?"

Everyone stared at Teal'c, unsure of how to explain themselves.

"Teal'c," Daniel started to explain, he was the linguist after all. "They think because Sam came here with a woman that she prefers women….sexually over men."

For a brief moment Teal'c was unable to mask the look of confusion on his stoic face. Quickly recovering, he turned to O'Neill and SG-3. "Are all Tauri men incapable of pleasing their women?"

Jack immediately spit the mouthful of beer out of his mouth, dousing poor Tobias on the other side of the table. Daniel coughed uncontrollably and the marines varied from red faces to pale faces in response to Teal'c's question.

"Um, it's a little more complicated than that, Teal'c. Some women just prefer to be with another woman as opposed to a man. Some people think it might have to do with a hormone imbalance, no one really knows for sure if it is biological or completely one's choice," Daniel explained.

Teal'c tilted his head, his chin jutting out slightly more than normal. "These women have yet to be satisfied by their men. We do not have this problem on Chulak," he announced, looking at the other men, disappointedly.

"Maybe I should move to Chulak," Tobias put in, smiling at Teal'c and laughing at the dumbstruck men who had yet to recover from Teal'c's revelation.

Jack's day was getting worse by the minute. How could she be gay? Sure, she was in the military. Sure, she had that whole Rambo-ish thing going for her. But, gay? He was attracted to a gay woman? This could not be happening!

The marines and Daniel continued to debate the aspects of Carter being a lesbian, while Jack just played with the label on his beer. He was quickly slipping into a state of depression. Carter couldn't be gay. She couldn't be because Jack wanted her. He hadn't felt like this about a woman since Sara. Sure, he had noticed a beautiful woman when one came by, but when he fell in love with Sara, he had stopped thinking sexually of other women. He looked, he wasn't going to deny that, but it wasn't the same as it was before he got married. Sam Carter was the first woman he found himself attracted to since his divorce, and although a little sad when he realized he was moving on from his wife, he was excited over the thought of getting to know the beautiful captain.

Sam Carter was everything his ex-wife was not. Sara was the complete opposite of military. It was what attracted him to her in the first place. He was looking for someone who could take him away from his military life, even if just for a few hours or so a day. Sara, in all her feminine ways, was that woman. Although strong-willed, Sara was anything but physically strong. She played the damsel in distress well and Jack had enjoyed being her knight in shining armor. Even if that just meant moving the couch from one side of the room to the other because she didn't like feeling a draft when she watched television. She preferred sewing and art over sports and physical activity and Jack loved that about her.

However, as much as he loved what Sara represented, he couldn't change who he was, and he soon realized that even if Charlie had not died, their differences would have eventually drove them apart. The first time he had met Sam he knew she was more his match. She had all the physical characteristics he was attracted to. She was also incredibly smart, seemed to have the same type of humor he did, and she was military through and through. He had been attracted to her immediately.

But, now, the thought of her not being attracted to him in the least was enough to make him sick to his stomach. He had all these great plans of sweeping her off her feet. Enticing her with his quick wit and charming demeanor. But, if she wasn't into men, then he was definitely way too masculine for her.

Claire Tobias noticed her CO's attitude change when the subject of Captain Carter's sexuality came up. She wasn't blind, she could tell that the colonel liked the captain. She had felt so useless and unappreciated in the debriefing with her CO complimenting and pleading with the general to allow Captain Carter to stay at the SGC those few months back. She had to fight hard to keep her emotions back. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't fix that stupid device! Maybe she didn't have the same amount of experience the captain had, but she had made her case and at least someone had agreed with her because it was she who got the spot on SG-1, not Captain Carter. After the debriefing was over, she had gone to her quarters and cried. She figured, with Captain Carter around, no one would even miss her. And, apparently they hadn't because no one had ever asked her why she didn't join them. Dr. Jackson had already become closer to the captain than he had to her. Even Teal'c had taken a shining to the glorious Captain Carter. As much as Tobias found the possibility of Captain Carter being gay amusing, as a woman, she did not get that vibe from her and really doubted the marines' assumption.

Teal'c, having enough of listening to the marines' incessant speculations, stood up and headed over to the table Captain Carter and her 'date' were sitting.

"Captain Carter, it is a pleasure to see you once again," Teal'c greeted, walking up and standing in front of the small table.

"Teal'c!" Sam said in surprise, swallowing her food and using her napkin to wipe any food from around her mouth. "It's great to see you, too. Are you here alone?" she asked, wondering if the rest of his team were with him.

"I am not. I accompanied Colonel O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, and Lieutenant Tobias to this location. We are currently assembled on the other side of this establishment, as well as the members of SG-3."

"Oh," Sam replied, processing everything Teal'c had just told her. "Um, have you met General Hammond's daughter, Jenny?" Sam asked, still trying to recover and discreetly locate the other members of Teal'c's team. Specifically, a certain colonel she hadn't seen yet this trip to Colorado.

"I have not," Teal'c announced, bowing his head towards the other woman. "Is this your woman-companion, Captain Carter?"

Sam crinkled her eyebrows at Teal'c's question, unsure of what he was asking. "Uh, Jenny and I are friends. We grew up together. She just moved in with her dad and we decided to catch up with each other. You had friends from childhood you ran into as an adult, didn't you, Teal'c?" she asked, really not sure whether he did or not.

"It has been quite some time since I have been a child, Captain Carter, but indeed I have encountered those I knew as a youth through the years. I am pleased that you have rediscovered a long-ago friendship and am equally pleased to know your men have not failed to satisfy you."

Jenny choked on her beer, finding herself laughing and choking at the same time.

"Well, I didn't say that," Sam joked, laughing along with Jenny.

Teal'c tilted his head to the side and once again displayed confusion on his face.

"I'm sorry, Teal'c. I was just joking. I do enjoy my men very much, thank you," she said, her face red with a laugh wanting to come out again.

"Very well, Captain Carter. It would please me greatly if you would compete against me in the Tauri game of shooting the colored balls into the holes on the velvet-covered table."

"Pool? You want to play a game of pool with me?"

"Indeed."

"Sure, Teal'c," Sam replied, drinking the rest of her beer and standing up.

"I'll go take care of the bill and meet you two at the tables," Jenny said, standing up after Sam.

"Great," Sam said, reaching in her purse and pulling out her half of the bill and tip and handing them over to her friend.

Teal'c rested his arm on Sam's shoulder and the two headed over to the billiards section.

Jack and all of SG-3 dropped their jaws when they saw Teal'c and Captain Carter walk over to the pool tables and begin racking balls.

"I didn't know Teal'c was that smooth," Makepeace commented, having noticed Teal'c's hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Oh, please, Teal'c is an ol' Casanova when it comes to romancing the women," Jack bragged, grinning at the marines and standing up to join his good old jaffa buddy across the room. He tossed a few bills down on the table and then arching his eyebrows, looked at Daniel and Claire. "You kids coming?" he asked before turning and heading over to Teal'c.

The other two members of SG-1 repeated Jack's actions and followed him over to the pool tables. Carter was taking her shot when Jack reached them, Daniel and Claire a few steps behind.

"I am pleased to inform you that you were mistaken, O'Neill," Teal'c began. Gaining the attention of Sam at the table and Jenny who had arrived right after Jack. "Captain Carter has indeed been pleased by her men."

Jack's face turned red in embarrassment. He sneaked a peek at Sam and noticed her standing on the other side of the table, leaning against her pool stick with a grin on her face.

"Exactly what were you saying to Teal'c about me, colonel?" she asked, walking towards Jack with a curious grin still on her face.

Jack was sporting the infamous, deer-caught-in-the-headlights look and found himself speechless in answering her question.

Sam found his look quite endearing and continued to approach the stone-still colonel.

"Colonel? Is there a reason Teal'c would think that I'm not being satisfied by men?"

Jack gulped, the first movement he made besides blinking.

Daniel, finding the situation incredibly hilarious, decided to add to Jack's suffering by enlightening the lively captain. "SG-3 made a comment that you might be gay because you showed up here on a date with another woman," he announced.

Sam turned to Daniel and then looked past him at the marines, whose eyes were all glued to the scene in the billiards section. "You guys thought I was gay?" she asked in shock.

"Well, I didn't, but the rest of them were harder to convince," Daniel told her.

Sam turned her eyes back to Jack. "You thought I was gay, colonel?" she asked him, a hurt look appearing on her face for a quick second.

"I…I wasn't sure. I…didn't want to believe it," he stuttered out.

Sam bit her bottom lip, not sure how to respond. "I see," she finally announced, nodding her head in thought and turning around to continue her game with Teal'c.

Jack was confused by her abrupt end to the conversation, and just stood there, frozen in his spot, having a hard time recovering.

Eventually, the marines decided it was safe and joined the rest of them at the pool tables. Jack had found a seat and continued to quietly watch the attractive blonde play pool. Everyone had felt like idiots when Jenny told them all that she was General Hammond's daughter and that she and Sam had gone to school together years before. This did not surprise Claire as she was aware of the close relationship between Captain Carter and General Hammond.

By the end of the night, everyone, minus Teal'c, was feeling the effects of the alcohol. Jack had continued to sit in his seat, only talking when spoken to while everyone else laughed and conversed in good spirits.

The marines left first with Tobias and Daniel right behind them. Jack was responsible for Teal'c and had to take him back to the base. Teal'c and Sam were finishing up their last game while Jack was still sitting in his seat. Jenny, seeing the game was almost over, excused herself to use the bathroom before heading home.

Sam sunk the black ball and won the game, again. Teal'c bowed his head to Sam, allowing a small smile to play on his lips and then put his hand out to accept Sam's pool stick. Sam handed him the stick and he turned to put them back on their racks.

Sam, by now quite tipsy, strutted over to Jack with a drunken smile on her face. Reaching him, she settled one of her hands on his leg, mainly for balance, and looked him in the eyes. "Are you really worried about me being satisfied, colonel?" she asked, the drunken smile still on her face.

Jack was, once again, speechless and in shock by the captain's question. Seeing his opening, finally, Jack quickly recovered. "If you are, I'm sure I can help," he huskily answered, a grin growing on his face.

Sam's smile widened and she rested her other hand on Jack's other leg. "We'll see about that, colonel," she said, smiling with a twinkle in her eye and then turned and walked away.

Jenny appeared a minute later and confiscated Sam's keys. She had hardly drank and was quite sober compared to the pretty captain. Assuring Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill that Sam would sleep in the spare bedroom at her house, she and Sam left the restaurant, Jack and Teal'c following behind.

Jack and Teal'c watched the government-issued car pull out of the parking lot and then turned to climb in Jack's truck. Just as Teal'c opened the passenger-side door, he stopped and looked over at Jack on the other side. "You are welcome, O'Neill," he announced and then entered Jack's truck.

Jack stood there for a moment, a bemused look on his face until he understood the jaffa's words. "Thanks, Teal'c. Thanks a lot," he said, the grin reappearing on his face before he hopped in his truck.

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