Disclaimer: (Humming along to "It Don't Mean A Thing If It Ain't Got That Swing") I don't own a thing and the fic don't mean a thing!
Mister Flibble Monologue
Hehe I look so evil tonight!... Well as evil as a penguin hand puppet with a spotted bow tie accessory can…CURSE my excessive cuteness!... Wonder what to do tonight – I could always watch TV… Go for a walk… Nah – Taking over the world seems more fun… Now do I wear the red spotted bow tie, or the other one I have that is EXACTLY identical?
…Damn arm things! How is an evil mastermind supposed to get ready to inflict carnage upon the world with no opposable thumbs… Or hands?
I COULD always take over someone's mind again, that's always good for a laugh – I especially liked controlling that hologram dude… Rimmer – who knew putting a guy in army boots and a gingham dress could be so entertaining?
I'm kinda getting bored of been with this family though, the children are immune to me and this damn baby keeps drooling on me – I think I'll wait till it gets dark then I'll go make the wife commit suicide for having given birth to a kid with a mouth like a tap… THEN I'll take over the world… Well I'll be hungry by then, I'll kill the wife, possess a pizza delivery boy THEN take over the world… Dammit but the tomato sauce will get in my fur and I'll have to take a bath, then will have to go sit in the sun for a few hours while I take a nap to restore my devilish energy!
Damn, who knew finding time to take over the world was so time consuming?
…Oh bugger bloody baby! Back! Stay back I tell you! My hex vision is hypnotising you! Stay away… Awww man! And you've been eating jam sandwiches! How can I be an evil penguin puppet mastermind when I've got raspberry jam and bread crumbs all over me?
..Maybe I should change my name… Mister Flibble just… isn't menacing enough… but then when people tell tales on me it DOES make them sound more insane when they say 'Mister Flibble MADE me!'
...I'll keep the name… But I am so gonna make sure that when the wife jumps off the roof tonight she takes her bloody foot sucking baby with her!
The End
Just... Don't ask - It's safer not to.
