The second chapter!! Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Keep it up!! Tell me about anything you liked or disliked. Hell, I'll even accept flames! Also, if you think this fic could qualify for a PG-13 rating please say so.
And I found out that when I try to put in the housemates e-mail address the site takes out that little a with a circle. Oh well.
None of show's characters belong to me. They belong to their creators Matt Silverstein and Dave Jeser. I'm just stealing them. Now enjoy the fic!!
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AAAARRRRRRGGG!!
Ling-Ling woke up with N'Sync music blaring through his head.
Damn Xandir, he thought, damn him and his pansy music. He's been playing that shit at full volume ever since he got here. He... will... pay!!
Ling-Ling rolled out of bed and decided to check his e-mail. He might as well since there's no way Xandir's turning it down for our sakes. Ling-Ling would've killed him long ago if he hadn't thought he'd put up a good fight.
He scrolled through his e-mail. Most of it was people from merchandising trying to copyright all the crap they made in his likeness. Even Ling-Ling toilet paper. Ugh.
Wait, what's this? An e-mail from Xandir? Why would that queer-quester send me an e-mail when they lived in the same house? Ah, well might be worth a look.
Hm. A Survey? Might be fun...
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From: prettyboyneverendingquest
To:bringerofchaosdeathanddestruction
Subject: E-mail Survey
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Personal
First name: Ling-Ling
Last name: None
Nickname(s): The people I know usually don't live long enough to give me a nickname
Gender: Male
Age: You wouldn't know what it meant in your years anyway.
Hair color: Yellowish fur with brown stripes and a black tail
Eye color: Brown
Race: Japanese
Do you wear glasses or contacts: No.
Is you hair long or short: I have short fur.
Bad habits: Indiscriminately killing anyone who has the bad fortune to say my name three times.
Piercings you have: None
Piercings you want: None. They would look really weird on me.
Where: Asshole.
Tattoos you have: None. You can't tattoo on fur
Tattoos you want: None.
Where: ...
Ready for tons of more questions: I hate you. You know that, right?
Pets
Do you have any pets: No. And contrary to what people might say I AM NOT THE HOUSE PET!!
What are their names: We don't got no pets.
What kind of animals are they: I suppose some who had pets might actually need this question.
Do you want more animals: I've almost hypnotized the housemates with my cuteness just liked I've done to children across the globe. I don't need any competition.
What kind: Urge... to destroy computer... rising...
School
Are you still in school: I never went to school. But I did have a herd of other battle monsters like myself.
Did you drop out: Nope. I killed them all once I could take care of myself.
Favorite teacher: There were no teachers.
Least favorite teacher: There were no teachers!
Favorite subject: In the herd we played a game where we mock-killed each other. But I took it a little to seriously...
Least favorite subject: "Getting along with others"
Are/were you popular: No. I was the sociopathic loner. I kept my distance from everyone.
Most embarrassing moment: When a female turned me down in front of the whole herd. She was the first in a string of mysterious murders.
Favorites
Number: 666
Color: Red. The color of my victim's blood.
Season: Winter
Holiday: Halloween. Guess why!
Band: I don't have one.
Rapper: Rappers are number 26 on my list of "Things/People to Kill"
Thing in your room: My machete. So efficient.
Place to be: In my room. Thinking.
Junk food: Animal crackers.
Food in general: Mostly bread and veggies.
Restaurant: I don't go out to restaurants. They never take me seriously.
Shape: Hearts. Heh heh heh...
Time of day: Between midnight and three in the morning. That's when I can satisfy my urges without consequence.
Shampoo scent: I don't use shampoo. I lick myself to keep clean.
Board game: I don't play board games.
Computer game: Manhunt
Car: Mitsubishi.
Phrase: "Say Ling-Ling three time to accept challenge!"
Sport: Javelin throw.
Team: Japan.
Possession: My Iron Maiden back home.
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear...
Dog: LING-LING IS NO DOG!!!!
Hot: Firebombs.
War: Fun, fun for everyone!
Red: What do you think?
Choice: Swift and painless or long and torturous?
Gay: Xandir. 'Nuff said.
Fuck: A nice way to pass the time between killings.
Bisexual: Foxxy. She seems to be into Clara and Captain Hero.
Black: My soul.
Ice: Zambonies. I don't know why I thought of that.
Insane clown posse: Yes!! I love crazy clowns
Jack: Knife.
Rainbow: Girly-crap.
Cherry: cola
Leather: Gun Holsters.
Water: Drownings are okay but they lack the thrill.
Private life
Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: No.
Do you have a crush: No. I like to keep to myself.
Are you in love with anyone right now: My weapons that are designed to inflict damage.
Who was your first kiss: My species doesn't kiss.
How many hearts have you broken: Do you in the literal sense or the metaphorical?
How many people broke your heart: Those that die to quickly.
So what is your bf/gf/crush like: Don't got one.
Do you have a picture of him/her: ...
Do you have a picture of yourself: No. I'm not into photos.
Ever kiss a friend: No.
Are you still friends: See above answer.
So... moving on. Do you smoke: Yeah, sometimes.
Do you smoke weed: Only when I want to.
Are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: Nope. Actually, I prefer sake.
Do you drink beer: Of course I do. But I have to watch how much because of my tiny little body.
Have you ever...
Flashed someone: Yes. But only because I'm naked all the time.
Gotten really REALLY wasted: I did at that party last week.
Skinny-dipped: Naked... all... the... time!!
Stolen anything: No way! I may be a psychopath but I'm an honest psychopath.
Wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: Among other things.
Pegged someone in the head with a snowball: Oh yeah...
Kissed someone of the sex: No.
Gone on a road trip: Not really.
Been to a concert: I'm too small to be let into one.
Got pulled over: I can't drive.
Dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyway: I don't cook very well either.
The last...
Thing you ate: My Ling-Ling chow.
Thing you drank: A Budweiser
Thing you wore: Nothing. I'm naaaaaked!
Person you saw: Toot. She was gorging herself on the EZ-Cheeze.
Person you kissed: I don't "kiss".
Song you heard: That damn N'Sync song that Xandir woke me up with.
Movie you watched: Saw. Just something to relax me.
Random Questions
If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be: Marshmallows. In any shape or form.
Do you remember any of your dreams: Only if they're really good.
Do you dream in black and white: No way! I dream in very "vivid" colors.
Do you admit when you need help with a problem: No. Ling-Ling not need none of anyone's help. (Except maybe to learn me some English.)
Can people read you like a book: They can't even understand me!!
What's your biggest fear: That'll be crippled in some horrible accident and can't kill people no more.
Do you talk a lot: Yes, but no one understands me.
Do you like spiders: They're okay. They're fun to step on.
How about kool-aid: Mmm... Sugar...
Do you see dumb people: All the time
Do you see dead people: I shouldn't even need to answer this.
Any last words: If I ever find out who you are I am going to rip out your intestines and use them to decorate my bedroom.
Now that this is over, what are you going to do: Kill Xandir
Ling-Ling hit the send button. See how Foxxy would like it. Now they're was the matter of attending to Xandir... If he could just destroy his stereo then it would be a victory for him!
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That was really fun to write! I hope you enjoyed it. I likes Ling-Ling. He's my favorite character.
Next Chapter! Foxxy receives the survey and responds in her own... unique way. Remember to REVIEW!!
