Can you believe all the problems has had lately. If it wasn't for that this chapter would've been posted last Wednesday. Also, I've been very sick this past week so that's why this chapter is so late. Sorry.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I'd be happy to see more Drawn Together fics too. I'd like it if you'd review this time around too but if you don't, oh well, so long as people are reviewing I'm happy.
Caboose2814 Ototo: What're you saying?! You don't care about reviews?!? Are you still feverish?
Caboose2814 Ani: No, I care about they're response but if only one person reviews then at least I'll be making that person happy.
Caboose2814 Ototo: Don't listen to him Readers!! Review! And while you're at it… read my fanfic as well. It's a chilling horror story that amalgamates Resident Evil with-
Caboose2814 Ani: You dare advertise your story in my fanfic?!?!? I'LL KILL YOU!!!
Caboose2814 Ototo: Aah! Run away!!
Why you little-!! Crap. Okay I've got to go catch him so here's the disclaimer and the fic. Get back here!!
I do not own any of the characters in this fanfic. They belong to their creators Matt Silverstein and Dave Jeser.
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Captain Hero had just gotten out of the bathroom and was headed back to his room. He was usually a heavy sleeper and used to Xandir's music by now so he hadn't woken up with the rest. Once he got back to his room he got out a Play-hero from under the mattress and began to enjoy it. But next door he could hear Foxxy and Xandir talking.
"Wh-why Foxxy? Why would Ling-Ling do such a terrible thing?"
"Well, you was wakin' up the whole house with yo' girly music."
"But… How will I live without my music? I don't think I can go on."
"You… just have to accept it and move on with yo' life."
"Sniff… WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?! I LOVED YOU, STEREO!! I LOVE-ED YOOOUU!!"
Well that completely ruined the effect of the Captain's magazine. He thought some Internet time might drown them out. First he would check his e-mail and clear out all the spam. Wait… what's this? E-mail? From Foxxy? I knew that she would-!! Wait. Oh. Some kind of survey? I guess that works too. Let's see, first question…
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From:
To:
Subject: E-mail Survey
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Personal
First name: Secret
Last name: Secret
Nickname(s): "Cap" "Hero" and some others.
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Black pupils
Race: (singing) "I'm proud to be an American! Where at least I know I'm free!!"
Do you wear glasses or contacts: No. I have super-sight and penetra-vision.
Is you hair long or short: Short. I don't understand why some heroes grow it long.
Bad habits: Sometimes… my desires cause me to do things.
Piercings you have: None.
Piercings you want: Hm. I never thought about it before. I'll get back to you on that.
Where: Possibly on my chest or shoulder.
Tattoos you have: None.
Tattoos you want: I really don't want any tattoos. Besides, the needle wouldn't be able to break my skin.
Where: I told you. I. Don't. Want. Any.
Ready for tons of more questions: This is some evil plot by one of my arch-nemesis, isn't it?
Pets
Do you have any pets: Yes. My dog. He lives back at Captain Hero's Sexy Fortress of Sexy Sexiness.
What are their names: Hero-boy.
What kind of animals are they: He's a super-dog! With super doggy abilities!!
Do you want more animals: No. Unless you're using "animals" as an innuendo to talk about hot chicks.
What kind: The hot kind.
School
Are you still in school: No. I graduated about ten years ago.
Did you drop out: No, I graduated. Thanks to Cliff's Notes and the dean banning alcohol from the fraternity.
Favorite teacher: Well I guess that would have to be my football coach. He respected my freakish talents.
Least favorite teacher: Mr. Lyons. My Chemistry teacher. He was a real hard-ass.
Favorite subject: P.E.
Least favorite subject: Math. Who needs it?
Are/were you popular: Of course I was popular! Especially with the ladies.
Most embarrassing moment: When I got so wasted that I nearly destroyed the campus.
Favorites
Number: 40-27-36. If ya know what I mean.
Color: Blue. The color of heroes.
Season: Summer. Chicks at the beach. Need I say more?
Holiday: Halloween!! Free candy!
Band: Linkin Park, Drowning Pool, Disturbed, anything that has hard rock.
Rapper: Rap isn't really my thing.
Thing in your room: My collection of porno mags.
Place to be: In the living room in front of our hand sown TV.
Junk food: Nachos.
Food in general: Meat. Meat is good.
Restaurant: Any place where I can order a ten-pound steak and have it swimming in ketchup.
Shape: Square. The shape of my jaw.
Time of day: 9 to 10. Them's my private hours.
Shampoo scent: What kind of question is that?
Board game: Monopoly. The only game where I can spend cash without worrying about the consequences.
Computer game: Minesweeper. I know what you're thinking but it's so addictive!
Car: Ferraris, Mustangs, anything fast.
Phrase: I'm not sure. I've been trying out lots of different catch phrases but either they're already taken or they don't work.
Sport: Football.
Team: Packers.
Possession: My drawer full of stolen panties. So many memories…
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear…
Dog: Foxxy. And on so many levels.
Hot: Again, Foxxy. I mean, damn!!
War: An unfortunate evil caused by super-villains and villainesses.
Red: Heat Laser Eye Vision.
Choice: I don't know… Hard-boiled or scrambled?
Gay: I shouldn't even need to say anything. You know its Xandir, right?
Fuck: Yes please.
Bisexual: Mmm… Happy thoughts…
Black: White
Ice: creatures of Omicrom Persei 8.
Insane clown posse: Some kind of new evil?
Jack: off.
Rainbow: Gay.
Cherry: pie.
Leather: Disco. It's probably better if you don't ask.
Water: Guns.
Private life
Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: Not at the moment, no.
Do you have a crush: If you mean I get a hard-on for every hot girl I see then yes.
Are you in love with anyone right now: That Clara is starting to look pretty sexy…
Who was your first kiss: It was a long long time ago at an orgy far far away.
How many hearts have you broken: Don't know, don't care.
How many people broke your heart: Foxxy. Sniff… If only things had worked out.
So what is your bf/gf/crush like: Uhh… Pretty hot and tempting.
Do you have a picture of him/her: Only through the use of the camera I hid in her bedroom and shower.
Do you have a picture of yourself: Of course I do.
Ever kiss a friend: Do evil bizarro versions of yourself count as friends?
Are you still friends: He's dead. It's not an issue.
So… moving on. Do you smoke: Sure. Since I'm invulnerable I can do whatever I like to myself.
Do you smoke weed: I did in my younger days.
Are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: No Way! It's always hard-core beer for me!!
Do you drink beer: Yes.
Have you ever…
Flashed someone: Oh yeah. It's a sometime-hobby of mine.
Gotten really REALLY wasted: I think I mentioned his before but, yes I have.
Skinny-dipped: Alone or with others?
Stolen anything: I'm a super-hero, dammit!! I've never stolen anything! (As far as you know.)
Wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: I've thought about it.
Pegged someone in the head with a snowball: Yes.
Kissed someone of the sex: Uhh… Can we move on?
Gone on a road trip: Not technically but my adventures take me all around the world
Been to a concert: Sure! It was the happiest summer of my life…
Got pulled over: Heh heh… No.
Dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyway: I can't really cook. Unless someone cooks for me I live on colds cereal and ramen.
The last…
Thing you ate: Cap'n Crunch
Thing you drank: Milk.
Thing you wore: My costume.
Person you saw: Foxxy. When she went to go see Xandir.
Person you kissed: Foxxy. But she's unaware of what happened that night.
Song you heard: N'Sync's "Bye bye bye" Xandir will pay for listening to wimpy pop music. Oh, he shall pay.
Movie you watched: Team America: World Police.
Random Questions
If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be: Nachos!!
Do you remember any of your dreams: Only if they're worth remembering if you know what I mean.
Do you dream in black and white: No. Technicolor.
Do you admit when you need help with a problem: Yes. I went to Foxxy when I had my hunger problem.
Can people read you like a book: Foxxy says she can.
What's your biggest fear: That some crazy chick will barge into my room and cut off my member.
Do you talk a lot: Not really.
Do you like spiders: I don't mind them. Spiders aren't very super-heroish.
How about kool-aid: Easy to make and fun to drink. What's not to like.
Do you see dumb people: Yeah. My rouges gallery is made up of it.
Do you see dead people: I'm insulted that you would think that I, Captain Hero, would go around killing people just for my amusement!! What? You didn't? Oops…
Any last words: Well that was annoying.
Now that this is over, what are you going to do: Finish reading my magazine.
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As Captain Hero typed the last words he immediately knew who he would send it to. He entered the address and hit "Send" Heh heh heh. That'll teach Clara not to spend three hours in the bathroom doing her hair. Now… where's that Vaseline?
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Hope everyone enjoyed that. Next chapter, Clara gets the survey and shows just how naïve she is. Not only that, but I have sought my revenge on my traitorous little brother. All is well with the world.
I can't promise when this one will be up because I have a lot of stuff going on but I'll try to update as fast as possible. Sorry about the lateness. REVIEW!!!
