Chapter 192 - Just spending time chilling
At this point, Nico could count this as the second time that one of his views on a subject got turned on his head. The first had been with Yvoire when he gave him a hard reality check on the world of politics and the true depths of the chaos unfolding across the nation. It had been one of the biggest wakeup calls that he had ever experienced, and perhaps it paved the way for him to learn about the corrupt elements of society that he so despised, alongside providing the chance for him to revise the way he saw many things. His views on Abnormals COULD be a contender for the second one, but he had already been made aware of the possibility through witnessing the bond between that Teostra and his mother's associate Rinjiin since it planted the idea that abnormals and humans didn't necessarily have to keep fighting one another. An idea that would take several more events for him to completely accept.
As for the event that took the second place spot, that belonged to the memory situation that he now found himself in.
Currently sat atop a stone boulder within a familiar vast, open desert within his inner world, Nico had a pensive look on his face. His right leg was arched with his knee placed onto his chest while his left remained outstretched. His right arm thoughtfully clutched his chin while his left hung atop his left thigh, the male idly kicking the air on occasion as he gazed down at the many sandy grains beneath his boot.
It had been about 40 minutes if his internal clock was to be believed since he had entered his inner world. Slumber had been relatively light and quick for the male, in no small part to the remaining hormones still flooding his mind from that makeout session he'd done with Lucy though that wasn't the only reason. Nonetheless, it boiled down to him not being able to sleep properly so he had decided to retreat to his Inner World, where time did not function the same as the real world, so he could properly process what had happened within the last 10 minutes between him and the Spring Goddess.
There were two issues on his mind right now, one of them being more important than the other. The less important one had been how Nico's instincts had sprung him into action in responding to Lucy's advances and even taking control over the situation to then dominate her. He recalled his vision growing hazy with an emotion he had been able to identify as lust and desire, something he'd felt and seen many times across his countless missions as a Spec Ops Agent. This had been the first time that he'd done that… well, ever, at least of his own accord and could properly recall it without the urge to 'hide' from it like a goddamn coward. It… amazed him yet also worried him at the same time, because while Nico could understand why it was happening since it was likely a side effect of coming closer to reaching the end of his journey regarding finding his 'true self, it also didn't fill him with much confidence about what his true self was really like. He'd heard from various Agents gossiping like schoolgirls that it was normal for guys to have hormones, but how much of that could be applied to him? What if his hormones were so strong that they overloaded his reason every second of the day? Such worries blossomed within the male whenever he thought about it.
But despite those worries, they PALED in comparison to the second issue which he currently kept rummaging his mind over.
Lucy the Spring Goddess' words rung through his head repeatedly like the bell in a Basillicom. No matter how many times he tried, Nico just couldn't stop thinking about them, which likely contributed to his failing attempts to get some sleep. Maybe this would have been what he'd be going through after the whole Yvoire stuff if it hadn't been for that surprise attack on Leanbox's Basillicom, part of him wished that could happen to him again so he could at least prepare for tomorrow, but that part got crushed by his rationality arguing that it'd involve needless casualties, suffering and it'd put the girls in harm's way when they didn't have to be.
Collateral damage, Nico had learned, could be repaired but the loss of life could not.
So in the end, the redhead had decided to retreat inside here so he could figure out a solution to this problem. If he didn't, Nico had the explicit feeling that he wouldn't be able to move on with his life until he found an answer… an answer which so far kept eluding him in an unfortunate term of events.
Lucy's words, like a hammer slamming into a piece of concrete, had left a deep impact on him. This wasn't the first time concern had been raised about his mental health or even his health in general, but usually, they had been coming from his mother since he had made a show of keeping his problems away from prying eyes lest they be used against him by the many of those who didn't view him very fondly throughout the Guild. He'd accepted this arrangement early on since his mother and uncle had proven to be the few people he could trust, they had each been together for years combating the numerous horrors that sunk their fangs into Gamindustri after all.
The fact that even LUCY of all people worried about him right now changed things, and by a lot too. Perhaps he should have seen this coming since she had been the first he had ever told about his hallucinations and generally shaken mental health back when they first arrived in Leanbox. Perhaps that had been the 'first step' towards allowing this situation to develop, Nico reasoned internally as he glanced up to the skies above. He may have caused this to happen in a manner similar to doing something that would later bite him in the ass.
What's more, was that the interaction they had implied that it was likely Neptune, IF, Compa and the girls had similar thoughts. It wouldn't surprise him if they did, especially Neptune who could be more observant than she let on with that whole snowball fiasco, and she wasn't the only one who masked traits about herself amongst their little group. He also bet that Aiden and Ivan likely felt similarly and had likely noticed the problem even sooner than the girls did with how often they hung out together when not on missions. One could consider it like a domino effect, one he intended to confirm was happening as soon as possible… which had been the ONE thing he'd decided on without a doubt.
His memories… he may not have focused too much on them ever since he first started travelling alongside Neptune and the Party, but for years Nico remembered how much he wanted to regain what he had lost, how much he'd been tormented by hallucinations and visions related to things he had forgotten. Even if the author hadn't directly shown it much beyond the first planeptune arc, it was still there beneath the surface. How could he consider himself truly accepting of his Ghoul and Demon sides if he couldn't completely accept HIMSELF either? That was the question that best resisted Lucy's narrative.
However, her narrative had many other punches to deliver as well, punches such as her worry that what he'd forgotten he'd done so for a reason, so if he tried to remember it what would happen to his current self? Nico hadn't really thought of it like that before but now that he was starting to thanks to Lucy's words. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't take his mind off of it. It felt like he had started sliding down a deep slope into the depths of the abyss with no way to recover from it, and Nico did NOT appreciate the feeling.
This only added to his frustrations and Nico had been acting like this for at least a few hours in real-time… which would be longer in the Inner World. He kept trying to find ideas to refute the words directed at him but he kept realizing the logic behind Lucy's words would counter them.
'Damnit…'
"Ah, here you are."
"?!"
Lifting his head upon hearing his Demon persona, Nico glanced over to the direction his voice came from which resulted in him seeing Biko floating towards him, expression the usual blank monotone like a cold void. However, after having known him for as long and as intimately as he had, Nico could peel the facade away to see the underlying concern behind Biko's gaze, of which he could clearly understand the cause.
Though even with seeing his Demon persona here, an image of his Ghoul Persona appeared in his mind and after a quick mental search, Nico couldn't sense any trace of the latter within the immediate vicinity. "Would have thought Byakko would have taken this opportunity to give that 'tough love' stuff he loves to do… may I ask where he is?" Curious, Nico decided to inquire into the matter.
At this question, the blank demeanour Biko exuded cracked subtly when a small smirk started forming on his lips, a faint glimmer of amusement dancing across his eyes. "After the most recent fight, we have where logic overcame instinct, that sore loser has retreated within his own section of the Inner World to sulk…" Internally he thought about revealing how Erebus finally got her way with him but decided not to. "Plus he said and I quote 'Reason and Logic don't vibe with me. If that pissant king comes here, tell him to man the fuck up."
Nico could only sweat drop at the predictable answer he got, a weak chuckle escaping his lips. "Yeah, that sounds like him…" he remarked, internally sensing that there was more to that story but didn't push it. He had more important matters on hand. His amusement didn't last long though, his previous conflicting emotions resurfacing in his mind.
It was something that Biko quickly picked up on as the representation of this body's logic, so he decided to get to the chase. "What that Spring Goddess said to you…" he began to say, prompting the redhead to look up at him with a look of hope in his eyes.
Throughout their time together, there have been very few times when he couldn't rely on Biko and his insight, as the representation of their logic the man had been one of the most competent allies Nico ever had. Surely he had some insight into this problem since he apparently already knew of it before confronting him about it. Although part of Nico felt a little embarrassed that Biko probably saw what he did with Lucy before that, he didn't let that affect his desire for advice.
Unfortunately for him, those hopes faded away like dust in the wind when he saw the conflicted expression on Biko's face, an expression he rarely made. This just showed how much this dilemma even affected his Demon Persona. "I am… sadly unaware of the solution to this problem, Nico. This problem cannot e solved instantly, and there are no easy ways around it despite the desires you and likely your mates possess. This is probably one of your biggest steps to take towards your recovery, yet the scope of this you have no idea of comprehending. It may lead to a world-shattering event for you just like what happened with that Leanbox official who tried poisoning your comrades."
"...Seriously…?" Nico sighed after a moment of silence, hanging his head as he leaned backwards. Raising his head to look back up to the skies above the desert-like landscape, the redhead groaned in no small amount of annoyance. "Things just can't be simple with all this shit…"
Biko shook his head in a wistful manner, looking over to the side. "Nothing ever is, even the most simple-minded of individuals will be forced to acknowledge that fact. Moreover, this 'big step' shares much in common with embracing both your Ghoul self, as well as your own feelings towards your mates." He quickly noticed and ignored the way Nico turned pink at the mention of 'mates', to then continue. "They both were instrumental to your personal growth. In a way, everything you have gone through across your journey has been to prepare you for your memories to return. It is not a matter of 'if' you get them, but 'when'. You and many others may think that they have no influence on your current self as they might have in the beginning…"
Nico winced, recalling that 'beginning' being when he had been about to move in with Compa and her grandfather for the first time. Even now, he didn't like recalling that memory for some reason, maybe because he had been a baby in terms of life experience back then. He had no memories, no friends, nothing to his name that he could find solace in which constantly kept him up at night and have him no small amount of severe night terrors. He could hardly imagine how much stress he had put on Compa's sole remaining relative let alone how Compa had been herself… he'd seen THAT first hand.
"Those memories nevertheless are an essential part of 'Nico's story. You could argue that you aren't 'that' him, but since you still go by that name that chapter of your life IS part of your story. Everyone writes their own story, it is called walking along the road of life which is easy to get lost on." Biko explained through a troubled expression passed over his face too quickly for a currently wide-eyed Nico to notice when he thought of a ninja with a mask, a headband alongside gravity-defying grey hair. "Those memories are just another chapter in you, part of the experience that made you who you are today. They are the reason you have your Ghoul side, which in turn links with why you're so well equipped to handle both battle and Demonic Energy."
"..."
Nico remained silent, slack-jawed as his brain worked overtime like an Amazon worker to process Biko's words which struck more than a few chores deep within the redhead's being. He could understand where his Demon Persona was coming from, and although his arguments seemed one-sided the way he looked at him made Nico consider it from differing perspectives, making a quick realization pop into his mind. "...I can see your argument, Biko. I can also say for certainty that those memories do indeed have very little influence on my current state of affairs, what influence they do have is because I… I probably let them, what with my desire to recover them." he mused, gazing down to the ground.
Biko made to say something, but the redhead shook his head which cut the words short. "Not just that… but it's also affecting the girls, as I've just seen," he spoke, making Biko's eyes widen by a small margin. "Lucy… the worry she showed me just then is probably similar to what Neptune, Compa and the rest feel towards this. Again, pieces of my life have unintentionally hurt them from my random outbursts of rage…" memories of himself with Compa when they reunited after 5 years, alongside his snapping towards that Lastation Basillicom worker when they first landed upon Lastation itself flashed through his mind. "To my recklessness born from my own arrogance…" then came the Memories of his poisoning via that poison Yvoire had, which got followed up by the scolding he got from them when he regrouped with them on Halo Mountain. He didn't even need to speak of the whole thing with him revealing his Ghoul side to them. "But then… they aren't the only ones who were affected either."
"?"
"Mom, and Uncle Koro… my parents were their best friends, and they lost them when I and many others disappeared… they likely won't ever see them again. If I don't get my memories back… they won't receive the closure that they rightfully deserve even if they try to hide it." Nico admitted something which even threw Biko for a loop for a moment.
He hadn't been thinking about what Nico's adoptive mom and uncle thought about the scenario. The Demon Persona thought for a few seconds and reasoned that they would probably ignore their own grievances and assure the main persona that he didn't need to worry about them, but knowing Nico he would worry and feel guilty regardless since he would be their only lead to knowing what had happened to their friends.
"I know it's kinda shallow reasoning… I may not be affected by them but my memories do affect others today. I don't care for the majority who lost their loved ones to those disappearances… but mom and uncle Koro? Different story." he explained. Then Nico's expression hardened, his eyes darkening with anger and disgust as he clenched his fists. "But if I don't find my own reasoning, those memories COULD be used against me at some point. I can definitely imagine those assholes Arfoire and Mundus pulling such a stunt." he spat, the images of those two smugly grinning down at his defeated form filling him with utter revulsion.
But since this was something bigger than his previous milestones, and one that he'd already invested a good portion of his life into, Nico figured it would be best if he perhaps got some more opinions about the situation especially those who would be affected directly.
"Some good points, but those humans aren't the only interested parties in this arrangement, my dear."
"?!"
Both Nico AND Biko widened their eyes as short gasps escaped the former when they heard a familiar dark seductress calling out to them. Following this various portals opened up around the duo of varying colours as if to represent the themes of each wielder. From them, various figures stepped out like they were leaving a limo to strut down some kind of walkway… with each figure revealing themselves quite quickly once they fully emerged.
They were… The Archdevil Arms, the ones that Nico had awakened throughout his journey's course: Erebus, Ouranos, Donner and Schlag. Each of them stepped through their own portals which closed behind them like blinking flashes, stopping in a circle formed around the duo.
"You were apparently forgetting my dear, that we too are affected by this little dilemma of yours." Taking point by stepping forwards, Erebus crossed her arms beneath her sizeable bust while running her eyes up and down the male's frame. Nico on the other hand suddenly got the chills with a strange feeling swelling inside of him. He got the impression this woman was thinking of his Ghoul persona when looking at him right now, due to their similarities in appearance. "We are part of your soul now, and those memories are parts of yourself. No wielder of ours should be afraid of our own shadow, and more over a certain someone's mental state would be much more bearable should this issue be resolved," she explained.
'Why do I get the feeling that her concern for my Ghoul persona stems deeper than I realize…?' Nico internally wondered, not quite sure how to feel about how this demonic entity apparently had the hots for his Ghoul side, as evident by how the woman seemed more… subdued when concerning him.
"As an immortal, your days are eternal." Ouranos began, stepping forward after seeing Erebus retreat back into the circle, her piece already being stated. He eyed Nico grimly, though that was just his usual expression which made the male wonder if he had that expression without realizing it. "Because of this, clinging to past memories is both paradoxically a necessity and a hindrance. We will exist forever, meaning that these unknown memories will haunt you for eternity unless you satisfy your hidden desire for them. To live forever without knowing your origins is more hellish than being bathed in blood from a thousand battlefields." he explained, stepping back to allow the next entity to take his place.
That entity turned out to be two, the ones that were known as Donner and Schlag who stepped forwards together. "We actually have similar opinions to you about them, wielder." The black-haired entity remarked, scratching a finger somewhat awkwardly. He then hung that same hand by his side as his expression turned increasingly serious. "Your memories may not influence your daily life hallucinations aside, but it'd be a major weakness to be exploited against you. If someone were to find out how to harness those hallucinations by bringing up topics that'd trigger those memories, they could incapacitate you leading to DPU knows what."
His twin in another display of being the opposite gruffly snorted whilst pocketing his arms inside his coat. "The past can't loom over you forever. Solve it and move on," he stated, his gaze cold and sharp as the bullets fired from a gun.
While listening to all of them, Nico realized that it became obvious quite quickly that each of the Archdevil Arms had pretty valid arguments from their own perspectives of the issue. It was true, he'd feel like a bit of a wimp if he just pulled out after all this time and it had been apparent that these hallucinations wouldn't stop until he got them back (although the fact that the author did not mention them in lieu of other matters didn't mean they weren't happening). He was indeed an immortal just like the Goddesses, meaning these memories would haunt him for an eternity if he didn't seek them out, a prospect that he didn't enjoy in the slightest.
These reasons combined with the ones he'd previously mentioned, swayed him towards getting his memories back…
However, there was another element to consider: how his memory searching would affect Neptune and the girls. As a fellow amnesiac, Neptune would probably have the most insight into this dilemma so he intended to ask her for such advice. If Nico wanted to be a better potential boyfriend to those girls, then he had to show that he trusted them with his problems, more so than in the past now that his secret Ghoul side was out in the open before them. He may not be good at relationships, but even he could understand how a functional one was based on communication… admittingly not his strong suit.
But he'd be damned if he didn't try.
The following morning illuminated the small town of Easton Point, a rather peaceful morning thankfully enough… though that was mostly reserved for the common people doing their est to live their lives as ordinarily as possible. For the members of the Lowee resistance and the city guard? It had been a long ass time since ANY of them could look up at the skies and sigh peacefully, what with the threats encircling around them at every turn.
But none of that registered as important in one spec Ops Agent's mind as he stood beneath a tall mushroom shaped like a lamppost looming over him, currently deactivated since it was the morning and there was plenty of sunlight to spare. As weird as he found such a thing, the redhead didn't have too much surprise at it since Lowee's assertion of mushroom-themed architecture HAD to have come from someone doing drugs. He did recall how there had once been a massive drug trade beneath Lowee in its underworld, so only someone that high could have conceived this idea which sadly stuck on.
He wasn't sure if the underworld for Lowee was still operational though, Lowee had fallen to demonic/Youma incursion after all.
'Better not let Lady White Heart of what I think of her nation's architecture, she would definitely smash my head in…'
'It surprises me to this day still that Lowee did not fall into Slaanesh's control if this drug thing was as big as it seems to be. It sounds like this Nation would be a better fit for the one who governs unhinged excess.'
'I can see your point Biko, but there were a few changes that happened many years ago.' Nico retorted back to his Demon persona. From what he remembered Lowee referred to its drug years as the 'age of highs' because that was what people were usually like during those times, especially in those lesser developed areas or in red-light districts where the drug trade had flourished the most. However, a massive purge had happened on someone's orders, he couldn't recall who it was at this moment in time and it resulted in the majority of the drug trade being consumed in the flames of war. Ever since tales of horror stories and various other warnings constantly smashed into the younger generations that followed which resulted in an extreme distaste for anything related to sex, drugs or rock and roll. Perhaps their strong desire for knowledge was a way for them to channel the peoples' energy into something more productive, but in the end, it just swayed them from Slaanesh into Tzeentch's gaze.
In fact, he had once heard that Lowee's production of books like novels, diaries, movie scripts etc skyrocketed over the last few years by 40%, his source being some stats he'd once seen during his internet browsing in a Planeptune internet cafe. It had been the kind of data of which each nation had its own percentages for publications. Lastation was one of the lowest at 35% (he can SO imagine Noire being salty about that), Leanbox followed suit with 36%, Planeptune held the second spot at 40%... and Lowee had a whopping 85%,
It's no wonder why Tzeentch grew interested in them.
Meanwhile, Lastation may be a nation bustling with productivity, but from Nico's personal experience he could imagine just how frustrated, stressed and exhausted the populace there was daily. Those people would then do anything just to unwind and de-stress themselves which would explain why their red-light districts were more popular than Planeptunes. So many stressed customers sought any form of pleasure they could find, ways to engage in nigh reckless hedonistic indulgence… which naturally drew Slaanesh to them. Noire would have a LOT on her plate if she wanted to improve her people's lives so that they didn't depend on such things just to keep themselves sane.
'Alright, let's get back on topic here…' Realizing that he was going down on a tangent in his mind, Nico quickly shook himself out of it while leaning back against the mushroom lamppost. He had one hand pocketed inside his coat while the other hung lifelessly beside him, his gaze casting itself around the immediate vicinity of the street he occupied. The street itself wasn't that populated yet, which was probably why it had been selected as a meeting spot in the memo he'd gotten from Lucy. Thankfully he had recognized the street when he'd come here, so it was easy enough to travel.
Speaking of the coat, Nico had decided to switch up his outfit for this little… event. If he were to show up in his entire spec ops gear, then the redhead believed that would be bad sportsmanship. Part of him did believe that his future company wouldn't be too fussed if he did appear in such gear, but that part got rebuked by another which argued that Lucy and the girls might try to glam her up in preparations, the memo he'd received implying that was the case.
So for his date apparel, Nico had chosen to go to his roots and opt for a more formal outfit, mixed with his usual gear. Those being his Omnibracer and leather gloves. Also, apparently, this was a staple for him by this point but he now wore a full-length Jackson's leather duster coat, complete with a pair of matching dress pants and polished brown oxford shoes. Beneath his coat was a white dress shirt coupled with a black waistcoat and tie, while a black fedora hat with a crimson rose attached to the side adorned his head. His Omnibracer lay beneath his coat's sleeves, whilst strapped to his legs were a set of holsters similar to the ones he used to wear which had his twin handguns Donner and Schlag situated within.
'You know, maybe I could think of having holsters again in the future…'
'They would have to fit Donner and Schlag's standards, they would not settle for anything less than the finest. Remember how long it took us to convince them to settle within these ones.'
'Oh yeah…'
Raising that limply hanging arm to his eye level, Nico pulled his sleeve back and activated the Omnibracer to check the time, soon finding it to be 8:30 AM making him arch a brow. 'Looks like I got here 30 minutes early…' the male mused internally, recalling the scrambling he'd done upon waking up at 6 AM to prep for this outing he was about to embark on.
No, calling it an outing would just be distracting from the matter's truth. What this really was… was a DATE.
A date… with Raven.
'Sheesh, the amount of surreal in this is insane…'
When he'd woken this morning, Nico had discovered to his slight disappointment that Lucy had already left after having apparently awoken earlier than him. He wouldn't lie, he would have liked to wake up sleeping next to her, but that was just him being used to sleeping in the same bed as Neptune and co. Nonetheless, his dismay didn't last long thanks to receiving the memo Lucy had mentioned last night which sprung him into action, the memo telling him where Raven would meet him for their date.
Still, this whole thing still felt quite surreal to the male redhead. From what he had seen of Raven, Nico honestly found this change of behaviour of hers to be quite unexpected. One could also call it a bit OOC for her since all he had seen of her in the past was her usual warrior spirit and her dislike towards weakness… as well as men in a more general sense. In the past, she would not allow any man she didn't approve of to get near her and his bros had a HELL of a time getting to where they were currently at with her.
Nico shuddered at the memories of some of the stories that Aiden and Ivan told him of how they worked for her approval.
However, there was something else that he neglected to realize until just now, and that was that perhaps 'hate' wasn't necessarily the most accurate representation of what Raven saw in men. Under no doubts did she dislike males, the fact that his bros had to go through what they did shut down that debate. But in the end, she had learned to tolerate them and a mindless manhater would die before acknowledging them.
The same could be said for himself as well, Nico recalled how she'd been after their first mission together.
He couldn't say that she had instantly turned around regarding her treatment of him following that mission, but there had DEFINITELY been a somewhat reduced stance at the time as she hadn't glared at him as harshly and showed less and less resistance at the thought of working with him on further missions as time passed by. In a way it was sort of similar to Lucy's treatment of him after that whole week of seduction attempts she launched on him, she had tested him to see if he would stick to his guns and once he passed with flying colours she became what she was today.
Perhaps he shouldn't tell Raven that, she might freeze his balls in place for comparing her with Lucy despite the vast number of similarities between them.
They say opposites attract, he could believe that when looking at them.
TAP-TAP-TAP…
"?!"
The sounds of footsteps echoing from the distance reached his ears, causing them to twitch when they grew louder in volume. It became evident to him that they were getting closer to his position, meaning he should view who it was in case they were an enemy… though that wasn't likely, he could recognize them as easily as looking at a mirror.
Turning his head towards the direction they came from, Nico quickly made to call out towards the approaching woman. "Yo, Raven. Good to…see…you…" but before long his initially cheery tone slowed to a halt as the redhead turned from amused to shocked, stunned silence. His jaw literally fell down like a certain singing crab who watched over a certain young mermaid, and he lost all his ability to form coherent senses at the sight before him.
The approaching Raven… perhaps this would mark the first time he had ever seen her in an assemble that was NOT her usual spec ops gear. The girl had swapped it all out, replacing it with the following attire: A white, double-breasted pea coat accompanied by some black piping, alongside some similarly coloured cuffs and buttons. Beneath it around her waist was a white, pleated full skirt with black lace trimming, her legs (the thing Nico embarrassingly paid a little more attention to which he hoped Raven didn't notice, memories of his admission of his favourite female parts coming to mind) being concealed behind a pair of white, thigh high boots. It looked like they sported black-coloured high heels similar to her original set, whilst he could see the lace tips of some black stockings.
Oh, he could also see her Odachi's sheath strapped to her waist, though it seemed to have gone under a new paint job with the sheath being predominantly white, with blue as a secondary colour.
The fact that she'd done her hair into a waist-length ponytail with a single white ribbon didn't escape his notice either.
Overall, the outfit seemed to be a mix of sexy yet formal, of dignity in the cold white arctic environment yet holding enough appeal to keep the gaze riveted towards them. Looking at it gave Nico the impression of a classy dignified lady who conserved much of herself yet showed off just enough to draw attention to herself from those of the opposite gender… maybe some from the same too.
In a nutshell, Nico's response to the sight could best be described as 'holy shit'.
The redhead wasn't the only one who had some thoughts about this however, Raven had been quick to take note of the redhead's gobsmacked expression afflicted with the curse known as a stunning surprise. She had seen that look countless times before in her long life, from both lovestruck schoolgirls seeing their crush in some stylish outfit for the time or when men ogle the more attractive females in their neighbourhood leaving behind the more average ones to the wayside as if they were second best. She'd seen that look many times, and had usually been put off or felt a swell of disgust inside her torso… though that usually melted away into cold indifference befitting of her ice queen persona.
But right now, seeing that look being directed at her from Nico? NONE of those feelings emerged. Instead, her chest started to ache slightly when a surge of warmth erupted within her.
Fortunately, she didn't let such feelings show on her face as she ran her gaze up and down Nico's form in the span of a couple of seconds. Apparently, Nico had enough time to also change out of his spec ops gear for the most part, because he wore a different outfit also… though one more inspired by older lean box-style fashion than anything. To her surprise, Raven found it quite pleasant to look at, she'd once heard from Lucy how while women have dozens of choices in fashion trends a man would only need the right suit and formalwear to bring about his masculine charm.
…Perhaps Lucy was onto something there.
"It appears that we both arrived just in time, I see."
Fortunately, her words served as a trigger to snap the male out of his funk, for which she felt thankful. She didn't find the thought of knocking him on his ass so much he'd lose his composure over her too appealing, she preferred him being composed and competent which had been what had drawn her to him in the first place.
"Yeah, well…" The male tried to say, his features mildly flustered as he shifted his gaze away from her. A few times he snuck a quick glance at her outfit and tried coming up with something, only for his tongue to seemingly twist in on itself before he could say anything. Honestly, seeing Raven in something other than her usual outfit reinforced the fact she was a woman to him, it may sound simple and obvious, but considering how warrior-like this lady was one could not be faulted for forgetting it so easily. A few tries later, and all he could say to her was the following. "Wow…" he muttered in a flabbergasted, awed manner.
'Hmph, guess he hasn't recovered completely…' Raven thought to herself while looking down at her outfit, shifting from side to side while holding her hands out in front of her torso. As mildly irked as she felt inside at this demeanour that made Nico look like a bumbling fool, part of her recalled words that Lucy had mentioned to her about such things before her departure on this date.
(Flashback)
"Alright Ravey, listen up…"
"Hm?"
Coming out of the mall deeper within Easton Point's territory, Raven, Lucy, Neptune and Vert strolled down the streets till they were within the street's more isolated section. From there, the redhead lady turned on her heeled boots and gave that statement to the usually cold woman with a gaze that matched the intensity of blooming flowers.
"When you see him and knock him out with your outfit, try not to feel disgusted by it."
"Yeah." Neptune nodded her head firmly, looking like a businessman advising her junior about how to conduct a trade transaction. She placed her hands inside her pockets and regarded Raven with a stern expression, a rarity for her but considering the subject matter one couldn't fault her for it. "Nicky's gonna go googly eyed over ya, it's just a fact of life. Gotta square with that cause its what we intended from the start,"
Looking towards her, the ice cold woman arched a brow but didn't say anything, her stare gave away enough for people to disconcern her response to those words.
This whole thing still felt pretty jarring to her, especially when she considered the conversation the girls who were all into Nico in some way, had had shortly after that whole hot springs scene. It had been a conversation many among them felt needed to be addressed if they wanted to progress anywhere closer to a happy relationship with their man, who had finally opened his heart to them after all the secrets that were brought to light.
Still, if it meant that she got her chance…
Wow, Raven couldn't believe she was even entertaining this.
Not only that, but within her gut, Raven could feel this strange sensation which she guessed was that butterfly-like feeling, thoughts of her impending date with the redhead filling her with this odd sense of… was it elation? Was that the right word for it? Perhaps it had to do with having waited for this for so long now but her footsteps felt lighter in comparison to normal which sort of worried her, because being light on her feet wasn't something she was used to in anything other than a combat scenario.
Could this be what girls call… pre-date nervousness? She'd heard something like that a few times from observing women preparing for such outings before.
Emotions were complicated.
Nevertheless, Neptune's words made her think back to what they had talked to one another about Nico's reaction to her getup during their shopping spree. The thought of him looking at her all dumbly like an ape didn't sit well with her, and for good reason. She didn't like the thought of him being like men she had watched over the years, but the girls had forced her to change into this outfit and she had no choice but to comply, considering they had more 'experience' than her in this field.
Something she felt certain her companions wouldn't let her forget.
"I cannot comprehend it. Why is it that you wish to make DEATHSTROKE like other men? Why do you wish to decrease his intelligence with this act?" Raven in the end couldn't keep her curiosity suppressed… as well as her slight frustration, her face twisting into one of annoyance. Even now, she still couldn't grasp why this lot seemed hellbent on ruining her image of the male Spec Ops Agent, do they WANT him to act like someone who only follows his baser instincts and-
"Isn't it dangerous to label someone like that, Raven?"
"?"
Before she could continue her monologue, a question came from Vert which cut her off as well as roused a confused sound from her lips. The woman glanced over to the Leanbox CPU, followed by Neptune and Lucy which allowed them to see the contemplative look on Vert's face. "To simply denounce him as the same as other men, disregarding everything that made him the person he is today, isn't that dangerous? Moreover, isn't that a bit of an asshole thing to do? Doesn't that seem unfair to him, Raven dearest?" she questioned further, her eyes narrowing slightly as her lips pursed together.
Her words cause Raven's eyes to briefly widen in shock, her form tensing in response to her accusation. Even Lucy and Neptune seemed a bit taken aback by what had been launched from the catapult that was Vert's mouth, yet the said blonde woman stood her ground against the frosty glare that got aimed at her. "What do you mean, CPU of Leanbox? Why do you think that I am labelling DEATHSTROKE?"
"We've all been working to help our dearest tone down those defences of his, even before his secrets got revealed." Vert started, somewhat ignoring the questions Raven had asked which irked the woman further, but she continued regardless. "He's been through enough torment to last a lifetime, you and I can both at least see that. There isn't anything wrong with him acting more like the boy he should be instead of the beast that everyone even himself considers to be his true self."
At this point both Lucy and Neptune each took a couple of steps back, nervously sweating while Raven's body started to radiate a cold, chilling icy aura. An aura was supported by her eyes which started glowing a faint blue colour. If those visual cues weren't enough they could sense the rising KI in the air. "And what of yourself? Have YOU asked him what he wishes to be? From what I have seen DEATHSTROKE is content with remaining the beast he sees himself as. You may say I am labelling him, but aren't you forcing your own desires onto him?"
Vert, in contrast to Raven with how calm she seemed to be, shook her head negatively. "Not really, none of us can force him to change anything about himself. It is not like we're threatening to kill his family or anything that pathetic, we're simply giving him our affections, It's his choice if he wanted to soften, which is what has been happening." she retorted, her brows creasing before she spoke the following words that sent Raven into a state of stunned silence. "You must be used to men acting like absolute pigs, but as a Goddess who lived for many centuries, I can assure you: Nico will NOT turn out that way. His character isn't anything like that, but if you can't trust my words see for yourself. Judge me not by my words but by our beloved's actions."
(Flashback END)
Returning to reality, Raven furrowed her brow as a wave of displeasure flowed through her system. Fortunately, she'd hidden it from Nico by holding her hand over her mouth in a detective's thinking pose. Back then, she hadn't given Vert any kind of response of which the woman bet that Leanbox's CPU had taken it as an affirmative. She couldn't really say she was wrong either, but it still galled her that someone who she could consider a damn GIRL instead of a woman tried to lecture her about how to see men.
On the other hand, as much as it annoyed her it had been plain for Raven to see that she and Neptune had a point regarding Nico looking at her in such a manner. It became clear like crystal that those two had much more experience than her regarding men and this 'dating' thing, so in a sense, Raven WAS the child in this scenario. The fact that it had been HER who had pulled this look out of the usually dense redhead gave her this strange feeling similar to whenever she triumphed over a strong opponent: a sense of victory and pride… though this came from something else. Something she had long since thought lost to the annuls of history.
Again, she couldn't help but question herself on what she was even doing here, this was so unlike her that it wasn't even funny especially when she considered how it spat on many of her ideals that she'd lived by for countless years. While her outfit seemed just as conservative as the usual spec ops gear, she could recall many times when she'd noticed girls in almost indecent outfits that could hardly count as armour, shamelessly flaunting their bodies before their male companions like they were prostitutes in a red light district. Perhaps some came from such districts but nevertheless, it still irked the warrior in her to see her gender acting like that. Yet now here she was, doing something similar to someone who had caught her attention.
Just how much of a hypocrite had she become?
All of this because of one incident at the hot springs… that was what she had thought at this moment in time. Mixed feelings existed within her regarding that one too so she hardly knew what to do anymore, ever since that incident things had changed for her in more ways than one. Her subordinates had quickly noticed her change in behaviour but since Aiden and Ivan hadn't had the balls to call her out on it (not like she could blame them, they were 'weaker' than her after all) Lucy had to step up to the plate and perform some manipulations behind the scenes, a skill the woman had honed to almost perfection over the years. She remembered times when entire noble families would collapse or wage war with one another because of her… It taught Raven a valuable lesson: that Lucy may act like a slutty Goddess, but she knew how to get shit done when the need called for it.
Eventually, Nico decided that enough had been enough, the silence between them had grown too awkward for him to abide by it any longer, so they needed to get things rolling. Fortunately, he'd gotten some ideas together for this date beforehand and one of those would be implemented right now. Turning on his heels, Nico stood sideways like he were parallel to a wall before gesturing further down the street with his left hand. "I think there's a decent cafe over in that direction, so want to..."
"There is no need for that, DEATHSTROKE." Before he could finish, however, Raven held a hand up in a 'stop' gesture like what a policeman would for stopping a person walking down the streets going about their business. She then started moving forwards, passing by him which gave Nico a brief wisp of the shampoo her hair had been doused in. It actually smelled like a cold winter's chill instead of any kind of fruit, though the redhead probably wouldn't be able to tell if there WAS any kind of fruity flavour to it due to his lack of human taste buds. "I have an itinerary planned for us."
Nonetheless, it didn't detract from the surprise he felt inside at the response he'd gotten from her. 'Ah, must have slipped my mind. Even though she's like this, Raven's still a squadron leader…' the male thought to himself. From his experience leading small squads and later on, founding the Tekkadan, Nico found that leaders tend to be pretty resourceful and plan things ahead of time ESPECIALLY the more competent ones. This also highlighted another titbit he had neglected to ponder: just how much did he know about her, and was it less than what he already did?
Nico knew multiple things about Raven's past due to her telling him long ago, just like Lucy, but she likely didn't tell him everything.
"Sure."
Nonetheless, Nico nodded his head and with his answer the male jogged up to his companion, soon catching up with her to begin this long-awaited 'date'.
To summarize the Date that followed…
Awkward would be the ideal descriptor.
Things had started off with a sharp contrast compared to those he had gone on with Compa or Neptune. In those instances, there had been this odd 'warmth' to them with the girls vibrating with a sense of excitement at what the day had in store for them. That excitement had apparently donned an infectious streak because Nico at the time had been just as excited as they did although it had been muffled and hidden mostly out of a sense of pride. Showing his giddiness at dating just didn't seem like something someone like him should do. There had been this air of happiness, of content and warm soothing bliss which had sent Nico's heart thumping away at thousands of repetitions a minute… somehow that sounded similar to Mundus' moon-crushing dimensional sword technique.
That disturbing analogy aside, this date hadn't started ANYTHING like that. Instead, there had been this cold, chilling silence between the two of them as Nico and Raven did their business, not to say they did everything separate though. In fact, both of them had made an effort to TRY and seem like a couple on a date by doing things like holding hands and sticking close to one another… things that for some reason didn't invoke NEARLY the same amount of dopamine response from the duo.
The activities that they had partaken in weren't very different from what many would call 'normal' for a date. They'd ate together, talked about things that had been happening, wandered together… went into various stores that had survived the conflict up till this point, the works.
'Ok, what the hell?'
Eventually after having left a weapon's store whilst his date remained inside for some business she had with the owner, Nico leaned against a nearby wall with a furrowed brow, cupping his chin as a deep, focused look formed within his light blue troubled eyes. What the hell was going on, why was this date not going like it should have been? Was he expecting too much or something, or was it something else? Thanks to prior dates the male liked to think he had a sixth sense for the general direction these tended to go, but so far he felt as lost as a ship in the middle of an ocean surrounded by fog.
Was something troubling Raven that she wasn't telling him about? He did know how she could be just as secretive as him at times and as a leader, she was probably used to keeping things close to the chest as a combat pragmatist, if there was something that troubled her it would affect the rest of the group even more so. That would be the mentality Raven would adopt in such situations, so was she doing that now? If so, what was causing her to behave that way?
'Hmmmmmm… ok, let's start from the beginning…' Seeing this as a puzzle, Nico put on his detective's face and began running through what he knew in his mind. This whole scenario actually reminded him of when he figured out Compa's real intentions prior to the Spec Ops exam actually. 'Raven asked me on a date… sorta. She kinda went a roundabout way of doing it, but still. Odds were she had to ask Lucy for advice considering she didn't date at all… it MIGHT be that she got the ideas for the places we visited from her and possibly the girls too.' He thought to himself.
If that was the case, that Raven had not actually chosen these places herself… that would explain a lot about why she wasn't having a good time. If he thought back to the places he visited, Nico realized that they weren't REALLY placed he'd think she would like to be… not at all in fact. It actually felt more like she was following a script, which was sort of true if this 'itinerary' thing she said she made was anything to go by.
'To properly enjoy a date… perhaps THAT is a detail we overlooked…'
Neptune and Compa both enjoyed their dates with him. More than that they enjoyed these things they did together BECAUSE they liked them and not just because they were standard things to do on a Date. If one didn't enjoy such activities, then the experience would be affected, kind of like having to go to a place one had been to many times before but with different partners.
Realizing this now of all times made the male feel like an idiot inside, a strong urge to smack himself swelling within his stomach. Nico wanted to slap himself for not figuring this out sooner, he was supposed to be learning how to be a good goddamn boyfriend to these wonderful ladies, how the heck could he do that if he didn't understand something so simple? Something so natural? This was a massive blunder on his part, no wonder why Raven wasn't enjoying herself on this date, he wasn't stepping up enough to make it memorable! He had to fix that pronto, otherwise, this whole thing would end up being something she would regret for the rest of her life!
So how could he fix this? Maybe hobbies could work? One developed a hobby as a form of leisure to pass time till they needed to get something done. Children play video games until they have to go to school or college, and adults tend to do their own hobbies between going to work and looking after their families. A hobby was something that helped one get through daily life's annoyances without losing their sanity from all the mundane stuff.
Then that begged the question: what DID Raven like to do as a hobby? Maybe he could ask her, it wouldn't hurt.
In the back of his mind, through the quarrelling he could hear from his alternate personas which irked him somewhat, Nico did take note of various presences nearby that he'd detected before the date even begun. The fact that he could easily tell their identities and intentions stopped him from ratting them out though.
Meanwhile, it didn't take long for Raven to emerge from the store with a pensive look on her face prompting the redhead to dismiss his earlier thoughts and stroll up to her, hands pocketed inside his coat. "Got what u needed?" he questioned her after stopping within striking distance.
The black-haired leader nodded in response, though her look didn't shift. In fact, the woman looked rather irritated and she soon explained why. "Mostly. It appears that the shop's supplies are dwindling due to supply shortages. Odds are the shop's shipping routes have been compromised by enemy forces, either bandits or remnants of the Youma scourge yet to be purged. Personally, I am betting on the former."
Yeah, his instincts told him something similar from what limited information he had been given. From what he remembered, since Nico, the Tekkadan and pretty much anyone else involved with fighting across Lowee the Youma population had decreased substantially since the massive purging of their ranks had started. So it was highly likely that humans who had been struggling to survive were now becoming increasingly active… yet instead of rejoining society they simply devolved to Bandit life. Can't say he didn't expect this, his cynical nature actually wanting to go 'tch, typical', but saying he was surprised at this example of people's idiocy wouldn't be wrong either. "I see…"
'...Hold on, this doesn't seem like anything out of the ordinary we would discuss…' A thought suddenly popped into Raven's mind, stopping her from continuing this discussion when she had been about to open her mouth only to close it, much to the redhead's confusion. This kind of topic concerning the foolishness of mankind even while under adversity wasn't something that was uncommon between her and Nico, Raven had realized, she recalled how beforehand Lucy had given her the advice of 'not going with the standard' regarding convo topics… which meant that perhaps she was already messing that one up.
Perhaps she was also messing up this entire date scenario too.
Looking back on what they had been doing together, Raven internally frowned at the mediocrity of it all. Internally, she rationalized that the date wasn't going well because there had been a sharp contrast between the two, from what little she knew of dating couples seemed to chatter and banter about pointless trivia whilst enjoying one another's company… something which seemed like the complete OPPOSITE of what she would be doing. She HATED not getting to the point of the issue, she hated chatter that served no purpose, perhaps her being the leader of a Squad constantly in the thick of enemy territory where such things would have gotten her and her squad killed also contributed to this factor.
…Now, she could see why some of the females she had overheard occasionally meant when they lamented how complicated dating could be.
What's more, was that she could ALSO tell that this date wasn't working out for them and not for a lack of trying on Nico's part. She had seen how he attempted to make a date out of the things they did by offering conversations only for her to give very few worded answers to them. It soon dawned on her that the ideas Lucy and the others recommended to her weren't working out at all, nor did she find even a shred of the excitement they believed that would arise from doing them, instead she found them tedious and downright boring.
It didn't help that more often than not those date activities put them within large crowds of people either casually hanging out or trying to distract themselves from the cruel reality surrounding them. Raven's chest often ached with the feeling of irritation upon feeling the gazes countless civilians both men and women would launch at her and Nico.
"Wow, look at those two? You think they're dating?"
"Pft, that guy? He looks like a dud trying too hard to be like those scummy nobles."
"You said it, man, she could have done better, like me for one. I could definitely show her a good time."
"Is that why you got slapped for two-timing last time Dave?"
"Fuck you, man!"
"Ugh, did you see that dress that woman's wearing? Seriously…"
"It's almost GAUDY like she's just begging for attention."
"I bet that she's just stringing that loser along till someone who can actually screw her comes."
"Birds of a feather flock together I guess."
"You guys, the dude isn't THAT bad looking, I think he pulls off the leanbox noble look pretty well."
"Agreed, I'd take him for at least a spin before moving on."
…Yeah, Raven did NOT appreciate the occasional banter she heard various passersby make varying demeaning remarks both to herself and her companion. She ESPECIALLY felt like engulfing those scumbags, those slutty hussies who insulted her man's drip in large icebergs and then toss them into a crowd of Youma. 'Those bitches… slutty hoe bags, they make even VERONICA look like a saint…' she scowled mentally, gripping her fists tight enough to just barely start breaking through the skin, not quite drawing blood just yet…
But then she froze upon realizing what she was thinking.
'Hmmm…'
Having overheard the same shit that Raven had, Nico figured that it was probably best that they move on. From what he'd sensed from his date, she seemed, moments away from causing more damage than the Youma ever could… couldn't say he didn't share those sentiments, his Ghoul side felt like it wanted to emerge and devour both those harlots who DARED demean Raven in front of him as well as those fuckers thinking they had a chance with the ice queen he was escorting.
But where could they go? It didn't help that this town didn't have too much in the way of leisure and entertainment, at least stuff which people like them could enjoy relatively easily.
For a moment, nothing came to Nico's mind…
…
…
…
…
…Until finally, something did. His blue eyes sparkled like sunlight reflecting the surface of a water body when he glanced to his Date. "Would you care for a retreat to somewhere more comfortable, by any chance?"
"Hm?"
To say that Raven had anticipated where Nico would end up taking her would have been wrong for the most part, but it soon became something she didn't feel bad for not guessing right away.
After all, the redhead had escorted her outside the town of Easton Point to a vast, open snowy plain that overlooked the town itself. Not far enough to make it look like a silhouette but just far enough to distract them from the bustling activity that lay within. The place actually offered… a rather satisfactory view if one were to judge it from a photographer's perspective.
The one exception to this otherwise beautiful scenery, in both Raven AND Nico's eyes, was how the snow itself wasn't the pure white that it should be but a bloody crimson, like the lifeblood that flowed through the veins. Almost as if the snow had been stained so much that it had changed down to its core to reflect all of the carnage that had echoed across the entire landmass. Looking at it gave the redhead a disturbing feeling, being reminded of the countless corpses that had been left in his wake.
The black-haired warrior queen beside him shared those sentiments…
SWOOSH!
"Allow me, DEATHSTROKE."
Which explained why the woman reared her arm back like she was going for a reverse backhand, frosty vapour covering the limb like a miniature twister before she flung it down. This resulted in a large cloud of the stuff erupting out in all directions, being large enough to reach their waists as it expanded across the plain before finally disintegrating into nothingness. It did leave its mark though, in the form of a completely white snowy plain instead of the bloody red it had been beforehand.
After having witnessed this sight, Nico whistled appreciatively. "Nice…" he muttered beneath his breath though the woman beside him heard it all the same. "Snow definitely should be white by nature. It's a lot more beautiful that way."
"Agreed." Raven decreed with a nod, the two of them planting their backsides atop the plain to stare out over the city like a certain caped crusader overlooking his crime-ridden city.
A strong silence soon followed the two of them, but… unlike the atmosphere around them back in the town, this silence felt oddly tranquil, peaceful and quiet. There wasn't that much awkwardness in the air, it all felt fresh and vibrant as if they were relaxing under the sun on a cold winter day. In essence, it was something BOTH fighters would take any day compared to the usual nightmarish sights they'd been seeing lately.
'Huh, so some time alone really DID make a difference…'
On his side, Nico internally figured it would make sense for them to be out here for the first duration of their little date. From what he knew of Raven she wasn't the most social of people and she preferred her space with as few people as possible if she had a say in the matter. She probably wouldn't like to be in large crowds while on a date, something which Nico cursed himself internally for not figuring out sooner.
Whereas the stoic woman beside him on the other hand… "Thinking about it…"
"Hm?"
"This new Lowee, ravaged by bloodshed, carnage and more war than anyone would ever expect to see in their lifetime." Raven clarified, her gaze trailing down to the town's imminent surroundings. Her gaze landed upon the areas where red and white met, her eyes dimming as she found herself mulling over some things she'd been thinking about for a while now. "As much as it fits with my aesthetics and philosophies about Darwinism, of the strong surviving while the weak die off, the way Lowee originally was is much more preferable."
'Lady White Heart would have some choice words if she heard that first part.'
'FUCK YEAH SHE WOULD, BUT WHAT CAN THAT WEAK SACK OF FLESH DO? SHE'S TOO BUSY FEELING SORRY FOR HERSELF OR BEING SNAPPY WITH ANYONE SHE TALKS TO. BITCH NEEDS TO GET LAID JUST LIKE THE KING IN MY OPINION, MAYBE START SOLVING HER ISSUES HERSELF INSTEAD OF WHINING ALL THE DAMN TIME WHILE SHE'S AT IT.'
'...Surprised you didn't notice the lack of monsters around, Byakko.' Nico remarked to his Ghoul persona whilst relishing in the cool winds brushing through his hair, Raven's own flowing in the wind's direction with her bangs fluttering over her crimson eyes. The wind also carried a scent which Nico had long since gotten used to the smell of monsters having been recently slain. Even if their corpses dispersed into particles, their smell would still linger in the air.
'BAH, I'D HUG THE ONE WHO PERFORMED THAT LEVEL OF BUTCHERY…EITHER THAT OR KICK THE SHIT OUTTA THEM FOR TAKING THE FUN FROM ME, KING.'
Unbeknownst to the redhead, while he had been conversing with his alternate personas Raven had taken a discreet glance towards him, seeing the tranquil and pleasant expression on his features. It wasn't a look she'd often see on him, she realized, as more often than not he'd either have an intense scowl when seeing something that pissed him off, a neutral look when meeting with acquaintances, or a mildly friendly one when around friends… then there was the affectionate expression he had whenever spending time with the women he interacted with. She couldn't even IMAGINE him making that expression nor this one in the past.
'DEATHSTROKE's past…'
Thinking of the past, Raven closed her eyes as she cycled through her memories, ones mostly consisting of her and Nico hanging out with the rest of Team RAIL hunting monsters across Gamindustri. Then there were the times when their group just hung out together between missions when there wasn't anything else to do… either that or Lucy had bribed Nico somehow to hang with them instead of going off to either go on more solo missions or train in solitude. How she did that Raven had no clue, but she oddly enough didn't hold it against her second in command.
Those pleasant memories soon turned somewhat bitter when she recalled those times they had to attend those formal gathering events to celebrate various achievements the Guild had made in its war for humanity's survival. Those times especially, but Raven could recall how Nico had been unusually quiet, defensive and evasive whenever people tried getting close to him even herself and her squad, something which at the time her companions had found pretty hypocritical considering he'd been the reason why Team RAIL had formed in the first place. Why he did this wasn't known to them even now, but in the end, none of them cared enough to ask by this point.
Still, perhaps that lack of care also extended to them asking why he had been so weird back then. Now though, Raven clearly pictured in her mind what the boy had gone through behind closed doors, of what had been happening behind the scenes while everyone else joyously celebrated close to pointlessly. While they kept laughing uproariously, Nico would be screaming in agony over the isolation he must have felt inside both from his Ghoul side's existence and the discrimination he got from their superiors for something likely forced on him without his consent.
It… made her feel a whole bunch of things. She wasn't sure if they were good or bad yet though. One thing was for certain, however, and that was that they made her feel uncomfortable in her chest.
Survival of the fittest was always a part of Raven's philosophy, the strong get to survive while the weak get trampled on and die, which forced them to group up and mount a resistance against the stronger ones. That had been pretty much their sole method of fighting back, it could be seen with countless animals who behaved in a pack-like mentality. Weak individually but stronger when their numbers were on their side. It was a cowardly tactic in her eyes as one of the 'strong' with or without allies, but nevertheless, it had its uses even Raven had to reluctantly admit.
However, what happened if there was nobody to group up with? Whelp, the answer would be obvious.
That had been what Raven had believed for a long-ass time, for many thousands of years in fact with there being little to prove her otherwise even when she observed the rise and fall of entire civilisations.
However, the moment she first sparred with Nico after that first mission…
"DEATHSTROKE."
"Hm?"
"What do you classify as the 'weak' and the 'strong'?"
"Huh? Where did that come from? Blinking owlishly and somewhat mildly caught off guard by the question, Nico gave Raven an incredulous. Though she met the gaze with her usual stern one, prompting the male to look away and hum thoughtfully, trying to come up with an answer. It didn't seem like a loaded question, thankfully, though he soon mentally slapped himself for thinking she would ever ask such questions in the first place with that no-nonsense personality of hers.
Glancing to the side, Raven looked down at her knees which were somewhat arched, her forearms resting atop them. "I have… been thinking for a while. Perhaps there has been a flaw in my ideals this whole time." she began, eyes swimming with varying emotions alongside the memories passing through her mind's eye. She didn't know what had opened the floodgates, be it this tranquil atmosphere, this date or perhaps the labelling that Vert had stated that she almost subconsciously did. Nevertheless, they were open and had no intention of closing. "For many a century, I've always considered people strong if they could just trample over those who cause them adversity and emerge on top. One should always endeavour to solve their problems themselves, it proves that they are strong, reliable, and can pass the most difficult of challenges life throws at them."
"Sounds pretty much like a Spec Ops to me." Nico quipped, and to be fair he wasn't mistaken. That generally sounded similar to what typical Spec Ops Agents did on a daily basis… well, the majority of them anyways. He could think of a few examples like Shana, Rory, Katakuri, Arima, the list went on. Also, those who didn't fit that mould usually existed within the power structure's lower echelons, where they rightfully belonged in his opinion.
Nodding her head to show she understood his argument, Raven nonetheless continued. "But… since our spar all those years ago, and learning of the things you've been facing alone yet not giving in despite the adversity, it's making me question if my sense of 'strength' was too narrow-minded," Raven admitted. "From what you've told us, you should have croaked several times over from the stress, despair and unfairness that you had on your shoulders. I would not have been surprised if there were indeed moments of weakness, everything has a chink in its armour after all." she reasoned, thinking about what she knew about one's mental health. Such pressures that Nico endured HAD to have had an effect on his mental health OTHER than the hallucinations that he dealt with on a repeated basis.
"...Well, you're not wrong in saying that it's narrow-minded, Raven." Not being one to mince things, Nico stated the first part of his response without so much as a blink of hesitation. A faint brow twitch was Raven's reaction to that, but on the whole, the woman's expression remained her usual neutral, allowing the redhead to continue while looking up at the skies above. "Though I'll be the first to admit that I too had a similar view in the past, but recent events have made me widen my scope, as it were."
"...A change of ideals?"
Nico shook his head at the question she asked, mentally noting the cautiousness in her tone. "Mostly on my view of strength in and of itself." he elaborated, before holding a hand up to the skies. "From what I've seen, 'strength' comes in all sorts of forms: physical, mental, emotional, political, etc. You and I, we BOTH are aware of physical strength we see it every second of our fucking lives. It's all about how strong our bodies are and the amount of devastation we leave behind us like a toddler leaving their room a mess."
The mental image his words invoked in her gave Raven no small amount of discomforting shivers, not the cold ones that she had long since grown used to to the point where the cold had stopped bothering her… she couldn't actually recall when she last felt bothered by the cold now that she thought about it. "I can understand that."
"But then there's the other strengths. Having great mental strength is like having a strong focus on getting something done, not letting outside interference or even internal ones stop them from getting that task done. It's quite the dedication, not to mention those with this strength are great at making the decisions nobody else would want to. Like deciding who should die in an intense struggle between two knife holders, choosing what policies to enact that could either benefit society or burn it to ashes. Honing one's mental fortitude isn't easy by a long shot, usually, it involves intellectual training like complex problem solving, puzzles and stuff like that." Nico explained, lowering his hand to the ground beside him. "Political strength is pretty basic, it's all about how many people in high positions of power in the system and the establishment back you and will follow the policies you wish to enact. Having too little of it makes one practically useless on their own and forces them to group up with others in the form of things like protestors or political activism. Those who have a LOT can do pretty much whatever they want which is probably why they tend to turn into complete assholes, absolute power corrupts people absolutely one might say."
"Then there's emotional strength…"
Nico nodded his head, his lips pursed as a mixture of emotions swelled within his gut, a brief bit of hesitation flashing behind his eyes. It vanished as quick as it appeared though, resulting in Nico looking over to his date. "Yeah, emotional strength's probably one of the most important ones of them all." he started, keeping his gaze level with hers. "That strength comes from understanding one's own emotions and feelings. Suppressing them and hiding them away is what most tend to do when facing tough challenges that affect their judgements, which is a form of weak emotional strength. They would rather run from those problems instead of facing them head-on because they're too afraid of what they might find, or they don't want to potentially crumble under that weight. They try to justify it to themselves for whatever reason, but the fact of the matter was their emotional strength is weak, this primarily applies to young people who haven't had much life experience… though saying that elderly people and those who HAVE had such experiences are strong would be wrong too."
Raven stared at him for a moment after he had concluded his sentence before she looked down to the white snow that condensed beneath her heels. "Then ones with great emotional strength would face problems with themselves head-on, they'd be able to communicate those feelings clearly and interpret them with great finesse." She guessed, being internally satisfied when Nico gave her a confirming nod. Though that satisfaction quickly evaporated into nothingness in the following moments, a sense of heaviness slamming atop her shoulders whilst her eyes turned somewhat downcast, much to the redhead's internal surprise as she mumbled the following under her breath. "Then that must mean that I am emotionally weak…" she mused, raising her head to look towards Easton Point down below.
"You think so, huh?"
"I must be," Raven affirmed, bobbing her head up and down in a manner that someone like Lucy would have connected to sucking on a banana. Mentally irking herself with that comparison, especially since she could perfectly imagine it, Raven nonetheless pushed through her hesitation and continued her admission in a tone that sounded WAY too subdued for someone of her character. "I cannot recall the beginning when I… I began feeling this type of way. When this 'warmth' contrasts with the cold that I am used to beginning to swell inside of me, warmth had been almost my natural enemy for thousands of years ever since I became what I am today. But these feelings…" raising a hand, she placed it over where her heart should be and closed her eyes, feeling out the thumping deep within that proved that she was still amongst the living. "They came to a head back at the hot springs, but I began noticing them way earlier, perhaps shortly after our spar, but I kept ignoring and suppressing them. My efforts gradually became less effective as time passed, however, especially when VERONICA kept making moves on you."
So THIS was what was troubling her, Nico realized as he sat there with an expression similar to a dead fish as he processed what Raven was telling him. As much as he wanted to scold himself for not noticing, he couldn't really do so since Raven had been quite good at concealing these apparent feelings over the years. Those times when Lucy tried seducing him had been quite rare in the grand scheme of things and usually, something happened to stop her from going too far… which hadn't been the case in recent times now that he thought about it.
Nonetheless, he had a bit of a conundrum to deal with here, seeing the normally stoic woman looking so downcast. She wasn't someone who cried or anything like that, he knew her to be too prideful for such things to happen normally, but right now Nico got the feeling she felt terribly depressed inside. Depressed, confused, practically akin to a teenage high school girl with her first crush. She seemed to believe that because she had been suppressing these feelings that she was emotionally weak, which if one took his prior words at face value then she would be right…
But that just spit in the face of what he had seen her do, what she had accomplished as Team RAIL's leader. So he decided to fill her in on that. "Exchange 'weak' with 'inexperienced' and you're more accurate there, Raven," he told her, making the woman regard him with an arched brow yet he clearly felt that he had her attention more so than usual. "There's a difference between a lack of knowledge about something and just being incompetent about it. You probably never experienced this stuff before because you avoided it so much, only to feel uncomfortable with them once you did. That's perfectly in line with nature, you're not special in that regard." he remarked, though the more he thought this the more Nico realized that there was a commonality between them.
Like her, he too had been running from things that he didn't want to acknowledge, but the circumstances weren't exactly the same. His Ghoul side, the feelings he had towards the girls… the difference here was self-awareness, he felt.
"Another reason why I think inexperience is the key factor here is that those who are emotionally weak CANNOT be good leaders of even small squads, let alone a nation. The fact that Team RAIL is around still is proof that you haven't done a bad job on that front." he reasoned, something which caused Raven's depression to decrease substantially.
Thinking on his words, she could see where he was coming from: someone who didn't have control over their emotions wouldn't exactly be a good fit for a leader since they'd make decisions based on that and push logic to the curb, no matter if it affected one or a bunch of people in the long term.
Seeing that he had her, Nico decided to fire the verbal bullet straight home. "No need to beat yourself up for simply trying to deal with experiencing new things you never felt before, Raven. You actually handled it rather well, better than most with one case being how you apparently turned to people like Lucy and the girls for advice before any of this even happened. That's not something many can do, they'd rather try tackling it on their own to the point where they can forget that they have reliable sources to seek help from. I'm not saying they shouldn't but if there's little progress made then it is not a bad option to have."
'He must be referring to the preparations I made for this date…' Raven mused internally, yet that didn't ebb away at the shock flowing through her system. The woman found herself speechless, actually, unable to refute the words coming out of his mouth. She opened hers several times, but no words came out due to how baffled she had been thanks to Nico's remarks. Was this what Vert had been referring to when she voiced her concerns that she had been labelling Nico without properly giving him a chance? She could never have imagined the boy before her having this much wisdom to share in the past since he had been a cold, brooding solitary loner for as long as she had known him. She'd been scared that, since he started opening up to the girls, he would devolve into one of the filthy degenerate males that polluted Gamindustri with their stench, but… here he was, proving to her that wasn't the case.
He'd been nothing short of saintly in his patience with her on this date, doing his best to let her do things at her own pace even if that had been abysmally slow even if that meant he wasn't getting the same amount of enjoyment from the date as he would with the more… outgoing girls.
As much as that irked her in a way that most women would find it, Raven pushed that aside for the time being and took the chance that was offered to her. She wanted to settle these conflicts inside of her as soon as possible, so she could return to some semblance of her normal self. "Then… it is alright for me to feel this way? That it is alright for me… to be hypocritical? You know well my thoughts on men and perversion in general." she asked him.
Again, Nico nodded his head as he crossed his arms under his chest. "You bet, everyone's a hypocrite on some level," he told her, gesturing to himself with his left hand's thumb. "Me, I'm VERY hypocritical, so is my mom, Neptune, the girls, my bros, everyone has had moments where they say something and then do the complete opposite further down the line," he responded… before a thought crossed the mind that caused him to chuckle in both amusement and embarrassment as the way his cheeks gained pink hues revealed. "Heh-Heh, look at me sounding like an old ass man. Guess this is what growing up is all about, learning from one's past to be better in the present. Kinda like reading a book of one's life story if I think about it."
Raven didn't hear that last bit, however, as unbeknownst to the redhead while he had been self admonishing himself for his conduct the woman had shifted her haze back to the snow beneath her. Her brain churned with different thoughts swimming within her mind, finding herself with a whole NEW conflict that took over the remaining ones.
She had always considered herself a 'cold' woman, in more ways than one. Coldness had been part of her life ever since she had been conceived and then brought into the world of Gamindustri by her parents. Her parents had been the chief and his main wife of a tribe whose name she could no longer remember thanks to the passage of time, one that she DID recall operated primarily within Lowee's mountainous regions to protect themselves from the monsters that populated the landmass. She remembered growing up learning much about how to survive and had been introduced to the Darwinistic mentality of the strong and the weak, it had been their way of life for generations, strengthening them for the hardships they would face.
Back then, the constantly cold winter threatened them every day of the year with the possibility of death by hypothermia. They'd do anything to keep warm like make beds out of animal corpses with large coats, among other things. They had usually kept to themselves and maintained a cold external policy with other tribes that occupied the mountains with them, let alone the 'plain dwellers' that they referred to as those who lived under the Lowee CPU's embrace at the time.
There were also a LOT of skirmishes between the tribes either over territory, resources or disputes between their members which had happened quite often. As the daughter of the chief, Raven had been introduced to the cold reality of politics amongst the tribes by her father, her mother given the task of teaching her how to fend for herself as well as judge what kind of man would suit her tastes for either a mate or a husband. Her father primarily taught her about economics as primitive as it had been, and how to manage the tribe's assets in a rare show of roles within the modern family today.
She couldn't recall the details anymore, but one dispute had gotten particularly heated, resulting in the death of her entire tribe. Whether it had been by another tribe or a misjudgement that pushed them close to a monster nest, it didn't matter because she had been the only survivor by the end of it, as she had fought for her life until the enemy had simply decided to retreat. At that point, the Darwinist mentality she had REALLY hit her home, and she understood it on a level far greater than anything she'd learned prior to it.
Whilst she had been trapped in the 'chilling cold' of despair, SHE had come…
The first thing Raven remembered doing after that massacre was to assess her situation and move on with her life. She felt nothing towards her tribe's killer's at the time, mostly because in the end that enemy proved themselves the stronger of the two compared to her own, it was the law in those regions. She didn't have the right to return the favour, but more importantly, she had to be trained to become the being that she was today, and THAT had taken precedence according to HER.
Looking back on it, it became clear to Raven that the cold had been part of her life in more ways than one. It only gained further meaning to her AFTER she had ascended into the being she was today, taking her mentor's place as her successor. Raven never felt bothered by cold ever again with there being a possibility for her even standing naked within the core of a snowstorm and not feeling a thing.
Yet, ever since she first met Nico and began letting him into her life she had begun starting to feel something strange, something within the depths of her chest that constantly stung her body. As time passed instead of fading away it had spread throughout her body until even the thought of Nico's smiling face caused the sensation to take a sharp increase in intensity. It had only been after the hot springs incident when Raven had an idea as to what it was: warmth, and not the usual kind but the emotional kind that came when thinking about someone precious.
In the end, one thing was for certain: She didn't dislike this warmth, no, in fact, she found it rather pleasant.
Now that she had this date and had her fears soothed by the male, Raven found her next choice rather easy to make.
"...I see."
Nico looked at her and noticed something, a small smile uplifting both his lips and his spirits. "Looks like I was able to help you in some way." He noted, sighing in relief when he saw her nod. "Thank goddess, thought I wasn't doing enough on my end of things…" he moaned in bemusement, eyes closed as he leaned backwards.
THAT brought back some prior thoughts Raven had towards him, the woman's red eyes gaining an… unknown glint to them. Nico… it looked like she wasn't the only one having issues with this date, apparently, even HE had some to deal with. From the looks of things, he had been so focused on trying to make sure she had a good time that he didn't give much thought to himself. To any other woman, this would be counted as heart-warming as it showed her how high she was on the man's list of priorities…
But to Raven, it was a dangerous sign.
She may not be some dating expert, nor was she able to understand romance despite having this warmth in her. But even Raven didn't see the possibility of her date not enjoying himself over her own happiness with much positivity. From what she knew it took two to tango, and thus a date was meant to be enjoyed by both parties. Perhaps it was her newfound feminine instincts kicking in, but Raven didn't find that sentiment particularly attractive one bit, in fact, it aggravated her somewhat.
But, how could she make sure this date was enjoyable for the male…?
One idea popped into her mind, one that made her think of Lucy for a moment. But unlike many times in the past, Raven didn't push it aside.
Instead, she acted on it with an almost predatory sensation in her gut. "...Perhaps it will be worth it to see where this goes, DEATHSTROKE." She began, getting the redhead's attention as she tore her gaze away from him. Getting into her speech, the warmth she'd gained condensed into her cheeks in the form of a faint pink hue, a blush she remembered it being called. "Let it be known that I am not one who runs away from an issue," she stated. "So count me amongst that harem of yours… Nico."
"?!"
His eyes shot wide open at that, not her admitting she wanted to be part of the harem, but the way she called his name for the first time. It honestly made his heart skip a beat just like when Lucy did it that one time in Leanbox. But before he could do anything to accept the affirmation…
"?!"
Once more he became stunned into silence when Raven pounced on him like a tigress, pinning him to the ground within a second. Straddling his waist like a cowgirl with both her thighs clasping his waist, the black-haired woman noticed how the redhead didn't fall completely to the ground thanks to several of his Bikaku Tails stabbing into it behind him, acting as anchors for support. Obviously, this meant that his Kakugan had activated too, likely a result of his surprise at being caught by surprise by her movements.
That… scratched an itch she never realized she had.
Clasping both of his cheeks, Raven leaned down and clasped her lips to his, eyes closing right before impact.
'HOLY SHIT!' Stunned disbelief flowed through the wide-eyed male as Raven aggressively made out with him, pouring an INSANE amount of passion into every lip movement she made. How the hell she knew how to do this briefly escaped him, before his own instincts roared to life and he closed his eyes, starting his retaliating offensive. He held one hand over the back of her head, burying the fingers within her abyssal black locks, whereas the other snaked around her waist with the hand attached to it ending on the middle of her back.
His actions sent waves of pleasant warmth down Raven's spine, the woman moaning in contentment as Nico's lips clashed repeatedly with hers in a battle for dominance, one which as a predator and Nico's senior by many a year she refused to lose. One might say she was like the other Goddesses in that she was essentially 'robbing the cradle' but age was just a number for their kind. Nevertheless, the woman embraced the 'warmth' born from taking her first ever lover in thousands of years… perhaps her only lover as well. She had high standards, and Nico met pretty much all of them it seemed, so she wasn't going to let this chance go.
'I think I can see why Lucy said it feels good to dominate Nico…' the woman thought to herself, a pleasant gasp escaping her lips briefly before the redhead's lips planted themselves on them. That gasp got born thanks to the way his arm that snaked around her waist shifted to her left thigh, grasping it firmly for a moment before running its gentle caress up and down it. Lucy had mentioned that the lower body was a part the Spec Ops Agent enjoyed immensely, now she had proof of that concept herself. At least it wasn't as generic as the whole boob thing, many men preferred those sacks of flesh for some reason. Images of herself pinning Nico to the bed, binding him in shackles around his wrists over his head while she rode atop him like a violently aggressive cowgirl flooded her mind, only exciting the woman inside and fuelling her advances.
The two continued this makeout session for hours to come…
"Hmmm-hm-hm-hm…"
A happy hum escaped the redhead male as he walked through Easton Point's main street, his hands behind his head and a positively giddy spring in his step that he did his best to keep suppressed, though it still slipped through here and there. It didn't help that he had a pleasant look of content on his beaming features as he reflected on the day that he had.
Judging from his glancing of the sun's position the redhead believed it to be around mid-afternoon, and it hadn't been long since the date between him and Raven had concluded shortly after their makeout session… of which they had concluded with a quick spar to hone their skills. Nonetheless, it seemed that Raven's mood had improved alongside his own, she didn't have any of the hesitation or awkwardness a girl would have after exchanging her first kiss with someone, probably due to her not really being like that and if she did she had very strong mental fortitude to hide it.
During the spar, the two had made it a point to discuss various topics with both their words and their blades as fellow warriors. Now unlike Lucy or the others, Raven hadn't been one for idle chitchat especially if it was about something mundane or useless, so instead Nico had opted to discuss various issues that were befalling everybody in the land of white serenity right now, as well as what could be done about it.
One time Raven successfully blindsided him when she mentioned that she could tell that he had been in conflict over something recently, so Nico decided to confide with her during his talk with Lucy about his memories. By the end, Raven had stared impassively at him before looking to the side and remarking that it was useless to worry about such things, there were things in life one had no control over and there were things one could influence. When dealing with things that one can't control, she suggested that it would be better to control his own response to how they should be handled and that uncontrollable issues needed to be dealt with using a clear head and a calm consciousness. His talk with Lucy had derailed his peace of mind, so before he could do ANYTHING he should probably sort that out first. THEN he could discuss this with the rest of the group his memories.
Seeing as how it was as rare as getting a UR item on one's first gacha pulls for Raven to give genuine advice to one about how to solve their problems, Nico definitely considered taking it into account. Well, 'considered' wouldn't be the right word since he actually fully intended on confiding with the girls over this issue since it directly impacted their lives as well as his own.
With regards to his current solo status, Raven and he had gotten calls from the Tekkadan and Team RAIL respectively, the two groups telling their leaders that there were some problems that they needed help with. Of course, it had irked them slightly that their date had to be cut short, but both had promised to continue it another time… or better yet have a second date where they could do what THEY wanted to do, not stuff that others suggested for them. Though before the woman had left, he'd pulled a signature Nico move and had given her a big hug like she were a cuddly teddy bear.
Nobody left him without a proper goodbye hug.
After having seen those problems the Tekkadan needed him to sort out, Nico had decided to do a bit of wandering about for a bit, to take a break from all the shit that he had to deal with for a while. On occasion, he'd debate philosophy with Biko, annoy Byakko by sending Erebus on his ass which had quickly grown into one of his favourite past times, and then pay visits to various stores. Stores mostly about varying kinds of books.
While he debated how things went in his mind, with some input from Biko and surprisingly Byakko every now and then, it all ended when something reached his senses. It caused him to stop moving and tense up, his eyes briefly widening as his arms fell to the males' sides before he finally recovered his motor functions to turn towards the source. That only served to stun him further, especially when his gaze fell upon the presence that he'd detected. "You…!"
