Because of threats upon my life I SHALL CONTINUE! I've been in hibernation and I will be till summer…. Except now. THIS CHAPPIE WILL BE SHORT OK!
Short short short short short short!
I own NOTHING!
Chapter 7
Lose Control
Hermione's POV
I hopped back on the stolen broom and took off into the sky leaving Cedric Diggory in the care of Madam Pomfrey. I wouldn't look back…. I couldn't look back at him. The kind nurse said he was slipping into a coma and that there was nothing I could do.
The presence of someone else being in my head with me always was gone. No thought buzzed through my head, no random comments or the extra emotions that I had grown so found of listening to. It was my life support. I would have to go without my life support until he woke up. When that would happen… I don't really know if it ever will.
I closed my eyes as I flew through the air that suddenly felt cool on my arms. I wanted to push cedirc as far out of my mind as possible. If I thought about him constantly and worried all the time with my own questions buzzing through my head I would surly die. I made my mind a black and bare palate. A black artist's palate, only the palate was mine and I could paint whatever I wanted on it that was not Cedric Diggory.
This seriously had to have been the stupidest thing I had ever done! I had randomly picked up a broom and without telling anyone where I was going and why I had flew out the window and had flown to Hogwarts castle. For someone like me; that was crazy! Why would I have done something so crazy and all for a boy I hardly knew?
I glided gentle through a Black house window and was greeted again with sounds of sobbing. I can't take it anymore! I can't stand to see anyone else cry! I wanted to yell, but I was shocked to see who was crying.
"Wotcher.'" Hiccupped Nymphandora Tonks barely lifting her head from the desk she was sobbing on. Her hair color looked naturally: a shoulder length beautiful curly light brown. Her eyes under the tears were dark green almost brown. At my staring she chocked up, "I can't STAND trying to morph when I'm sad." I walked over to her and hugged her.
"Ah Nymphie…" I said to her, trying not to cry myself. Everyone was so sad and lonely right now with the war; I knew we all had to take care of each other, but it felt like I was doing all the caring. Not that I'm complaining or anything. "What is it?" She shook her head so the first thing that came to my mind came out of my fat mouth.
"Boy trouble?" She sobbed even harder. Boy, I don't think I can take much more of this. Hogwarts: A History doesn't help you prepare how to survive emotionally when your world collapses. Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them doesn't help you either. I n know nothing of human nature: about comfort. I'm a human failure. I ace my test, but I fail on life.
"There's this guy…" Tonks started. I nodded. My problems seemed to leave my mind. My friend Tonks was my priority. It feels good to help others. Cedric can haunt me later: Merlin knows he will but every so often, not having to think about him lying on that bed motionless and sick; maybe it is good for me. There's nothing I can do for Cedric now. No one can help Cedric. No one can save him. But I can help Tonks; and right now that was good enough for me.
"Well… I like….love him but he says we can't be together." I frowned. Cedric and I can't be together because he can't move at all. Cedric and I can't be together because he's asleep in a coma. Cedric and I can't be together for hundreds of reasons. I suddenly felt horrible again.
"Why… why can't you be together?" I'm so emotional, now. This war is just killing everyone. I hate it! Why can't I just be a kid? Why did this all have to start? Why did I have to fall…..in love?
"He… he has this condition…." Ok, this could get personal.
"Do… do you think you should talk to Mrs. Weasley instead?" I asked gingerly. She shook her head violently. She was a wreck. I had never seen her like this. I never imagined this was what love could do to you. Well, part of me already knows what love can do to you, what it can put you through.
"It's nothing all that bad. And he says we can't be together and its driving me MAD!" she had stopped crying and was now into blubbering and whimpering in a high squeaky voice pacing the room. I was left listening as she talked about this man who I probably knew nothing about, and I had no clue who he was. She got her problems off her chest while mine stayed buried inside me.
I had never felt more like a muggle in my entire life than I did now. I was not a witch with powers or a talented girl who was the top in her Charms class. I was just Hermione. Muggles (I would know I was one for 11 years and thought so or 11 years) just feel emotion and thoughts and stress and everything else. All I felt was solid deep bare mind blowing emotion that was as naked as a newborn baby. It made me feel more like nothing than a tiny small something. This deep raw emotion plunged through be and ate at my skin and heart to consume me.
So this is how normal people feel.
Normal people feel emotion and problems all the time till it eats them up and causes them an early death. Will my problems do that to me? Could I die from all this craziness around me? I never thought I had problems… and if I did I never dwelle don them. But in a midst of war, what did everyone have else to do BUT dwell on problems? Problems…..
They aren't problems, they're…. sorrows. Is that all problems were? Sorrows? Love kills obviously, and so does war. It makes perfectly nice decent woman like Tonks and I complete loons. I WAS normal. I was never emotional, I never wallowed in self pity, I never did anything stupid… except on the rare occasion. Why did this all happen? Whydid this crazy stupid things happen that make us loose ourselves someplace along the way as we lose complete and total control?
Why did I have to fall in love with Cedric Diggory?"
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Once again NO THAT IS NOT THE LAST CHAPPIE! I'm sorry it was short but I hope it holds you up till summer when I update again so…. Just…. I don't know! Read oit slowly or something!
Hugs and luv and PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW
