Chapter 4: WTF?
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Disclaimer: Again, this fic is PARODY. As in, I'm totally not serious about this nor am I meaning for this to be serious fanfic. I'm basically writing based on what is most commonly complained about in fanfic. I'm not picking on ANY individual and any names mentioned are strictly coincidental. Also I do not own any characters in FullMetal Alchemist.
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Edward (standing in the white-land void that starts off most fanfic ideas) : "Well, this is a change…."
( - Suddenly, horrid music is blaring through the speakers - )
Edward: "Holy crap! What the hell IS that?" (-looks around-)
Roy (who apparently knows all there is to know about OOC and Mary Sue fanfic) : "I believe that is music, FullMetal. 'Rock Music' to be specific."
Edward: "What the hell is 'Rock Music'?"
Roy: (-shrugs-) "I don't know, music for pet rocks?"
Edward: "You've got to be kidding me…"
Roy: "I wish I was…"
Mary-Sue: "Y helo their roy and Edward!"
Roy and Ed (-look around-) "…What?"
Mary-Sue: "Don't u lyk my music?"
Edward: "Um…What?"
Mary-Sue (getting all emo and pity-me-Sue-tearful) : "Y don't u uderstad me?"
Roy: "I'm sorry, but I don't think he understands people who don't use spellcheck or get a beta to look over their work."
Edward (-cringing-) : "God… this music is irritating…."
Mary-Sue: (-being all emo and shaking Ed-) "Y don't u lyk Blvd of Broken Dreems by Greenday?"
Edward: "…What?" (-looks at Roy-)
Roy: (-using his mad Sue translating skills-) : "It's asking why you don't like the song."
Edward: "Um….because it's lame? And 'Rock Music' won't be invented for at least another fifty years or so?"
Mary-Sue: (-bursts into tears and runs away-) "U all r meen 2 me!"
Al (-walks in, the music vibrates off of his armor making an eerie screeching sound-): "Did I miss something?"
Edward and Roy: "Oh God Al! Back up a bit please!"
Roy (-finds the speaker and torches it with his flame alchemy-)
Edward: "Thank you."
Al: "What WAS that racket?"
Edward: (-shrugging-) : "Something called 'Rock Music'. Apparently the Mary-Sue thing called it "Blvd of Broken Dreems by Greenday."
Al: "You mean like music for pet rocks?"
Edward: "I don't know…"
Roy: "Either way it was pretty awful…"
Edward: "Yes! And this is not the first time it's happened! Lots of these people keep having random weird music appear in our stories!"
Roy: "Are you serious? Is it anything like the God-awful crap we just heard?"
Edward: "WORSE! They play songs from something called an 'Evanescence'. "
Al: "….Ew…."
Roy: "And their lack of spelling is atrocious. I could see stuttering or mumbling a few words, but purposefully speaking as if brains do not exist? Now that's just plain lazy!"
Ed and Al (-nod in agreement-)
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Note: No I'm not saying Rock Music is bad or Green Day and Evanescence are bad bands. However, they do not make sense in FullMetal Alchemist fanfiction. So for them, in their time period, it would be considered "Awful music."
