CHAPTER 1--Of insane children, aliens, and haunted mansions
"AH where are we!" "Disney World, you dolt. Where else would there be giant signs saying DISNEY WORLD"
"A department store"
"Nice try, but no"
Sora and Riku were standing in the middle of Main Street in the Magic Kingdom. Both had spontaneously appeared there, after dark, when the park was closed.
(Sora, just before transporting here: -sleeping- Noooooo Cookie Monster, cookies are baaaad for youuuuu...PHYSCE! MY COOKIE MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Riku, just before transporting here: -up watching the late night horror films- DON'T OPEN THE CLOSET THE MONSTEROUS MONSTERFUL MONSTER OF REDUNDANCY IS THERE! DON'T OPEN IIIIIT! NOOO)
"So how did we get here"
"That is a rhetorical question." A voice said from behind them.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sora and Riku screamed, falling over. A girl with short brown hair stood in front of them now,
grinning. She was short, wearing a Stitch T-shirt and jean shorts. Riku was the first to react from his scared-half-to-death state. "Who are you, showing up all of a sudden"
"YEAH, YOU CAN SCARE PEOPLE DOING THAT"
"No, mainly just you. But anyway...you're here because I wanted you to be here"
(Riku, remembering the horror movie) "WHAT! WHAT! THAT'S IT, WE'RE LEAVING--" The gates to the park's entrance and exit closed.
"Nooo, I don't believe that will comply with the ruuules"
"Rules?" Sora whimpered.
"Yeperoo! You two vegetables-for-brains morons are on Survivor Disney World! Isn't that spiffy"
-cricket cricket cricket-
"THAT IS SO NOT SPIFFY!" Sora yelled. Riku started crying. "Hey, it's not so bad so long as you're not alone, right?" The girl snapped her fingers, and six other people appeared. "Hey there...Marluxia. Roxas. Tidus. Kairi. Goofy. Leon." Instantly, they all freaked out.
"WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING HERE? I WAS JUST ABOUT TO KICK SORA'S BUTT IN CASTLE OBLIVION...wait, you're there...um, that's a bit baffling..." -ponders-
"W-where am I! WHAT! I WAS FLOATING SOMEWHERE RANDOM UNDERWATER AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I'M HERE! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BIRDIES? BIIIIIRDIES I WILL AVENGEEEEE YOUUUU"
"Heeeey, I was almost through the fourth season of Tellitubb--I MEAN PEOPLE WITH CARS THAT GO REALLY FAST AND PERFORM SPECTACULAR STUNTS...848.95793"
"Heh? Why's it so dark? Disney World? Did I win a contest"
"Ahyuck, neat! It's all dark and scary, this'll be fun...what are we doing"
"Ah, now what...I was halfway through my newest edition of Boring Guys Who Drone on and on About Nothing Special monthly"
Riku and Sora gathered with the rest of the group while the brown-haired girl skipped around laughing to herself.
Roxas looked at her with disgust. "She's insane"
"YES THAT'S RIGHT but what does it matter, right!" she screamed. "Anyway, the fun's barely started! You just got here, and you don't even have tribes yet! We need to fix that, don't we?" Everyone shook their heads with fright. "Thaaaat's right, we do! So here's the deal. Think of a number between 5 and 6"
"That's impossible." Leon mumbled.
"Oh c'mon, nothing's impossible"
"Fine. 5 and a half"
"WRONG! You lose"
"So"
"So what!" The girl went into laughing fits.
"You're seriously insane, aren't you?" Riku asked, stepping back. The girl stood up.
"Nah, just having fun. Disney is fun, you know? Rides, and...Disney-ness! Aren't you happy"
"No." They all said at once.
"Too bad...TRIBE TIME!" Everyone jumped. "Four on each tribe. First is Team Disney. Sora, Marluxia, Goofy, and Kairi." She threw them blue T-shirts with Mickey Mouse symbols drawn on them. "And that leaves the next tribe, Team Yensid. Riku, Roxas, Tidus, and Leon." They got the same kind of shirts, only white. "I'm displeased with these arrangements." Marluxia grumbled.
"Oh well. Go shear some sheep or whatever it is you do with that scythe"
"IT'S A COMBAT WEAPON"
"Suuuuure thing. Your camps are as follows--Team Disney goes to the Philarmagic Theater, and Team Yensid goes to the Haunted Mansion." Riku passed out.
"WHAT?" Roxas and Tidus shrieked.
"Hey, I don't make the rules"
"You don't"
"Nope. It's mostly...well, no that's me...but there's...no wait, also me...ah, I guess it is me. Shi. Me. Yep." Shi smiled.
"You're a fiend. A fiend." Tidus hissed, following behind Leon and Roxas, dragging a passed out Riku behind him. Sora and the rest of Team Disney happily skipped off to the theater.
TWO HOURS LATER--TEAM DISNEY, APPROXIMATELY 3 AM "Ah, this is the liiife." Sora sighed, lying on the carpeted floor. Kairi was walking around, looking at the big screen. Marluxia was slicing chairs in half, and Goofy was singing to himself.
"Ohhhhhhh I'm all dressed up in a racoon suit,
Tra lalalaaaaaaaa!
Just like on Super Mario,
Tra lalalaaaaaaaa!
And when the tacos reach L.A,
Tra lalalaaaaaaaa!
They will have lattes today,
Tra lalalaaaaaaaa"
"WILL YOU STOP THAT INFERNAL SINGING!" Marluxia screamed, shooting flower petals at Goofy.
"I don't think you should be so forceful for a guy with a giant wheat harvesting tool who shoots flower petals at people." Sora grumbled. "YOU GOING TO TRY AND BACK THAT UP"
"Sure. Go to some florist shop and get a real job." Marluxia paused.
"You know, that could actually work"
"Sora, how do you turn this on?" Kairi pointed at the screen.
"Ooooh, maybe that shiny red button..." he pressed it and the movie turned on, blaring "Oh I Just Can't Wait to be King". Marluxia started crying, Sora started screaming, Kairi left out of boredom,
and Goofy danced.
TEAM YENSID, APPROXIMATELY 3 AM "Eh, eh, are we really going in there?" Tidus whispered to Roxas, who stood next to him, trembling.
"N-no, Leon is. We're sleeping outside in the warm Florida heat"
-cold front blows in-
(At some random house somewhere: We interrupt this show for an important news bulletin. The end of the world is near, I repeat, the end of the world is near! In Florida, temperatures have dropped to 20 degrees! Oh wait...nevermind, that was caused by a twisted little kid with a weather machine. Go back to your lives as normal)
(Shi: Muahaha...-pats weather machine)
"WAAAAAH NOW IT'S COLD!" Riku sobbed, who had become concious minutes earlier. Leon kicked down the doors and walked in.
"Everything's turned off, so it can't be anything too scary. I mean, as long as nothing's moving." Everyone watched with giant eyes as he walked in further and looked around the dim entryway.
"See? Nothing." He kept walking. Roxas pulled out a notepad.
"Note to self: Leon is way too fearless to be human. He must be an alien." Tidus glanced at him.
"You're not serious"
"But it all adds up! I mean, he's not afraid of anything! ANYTHING! Everybody's afraid of something!" Tidus's eyes widened.
"YOU'RE RIGHT! We should call somebody"
"No. Not yet. We need the proof first." Determined to watch Leon's reaction to the inside of the mansion, they threw caution to the wind and scampered in. Riku was left all alone.
"Hey, this isn't so bad! I could sleep out here!" A bird flew by and tweeted. Riku screamed bloody murder and ran inside.
It was really dark, and he could barely make out Leon ahead of him, with Tidus and Roxas close behind. It was so dark, though, that he wasn't sure he would be able to make it to them without tripping over something. He reached around on the wall for a switch until his hand felt one.
"Hey, I found the light!" He switched it on, and everything turned bright.
Chaos ensued.
"WELCOME, FOOLISH MORTALS, TO THE HAUNTED MANSION!" an eerie voiced shouted. Maniacal laughter followed, and the mansion came alive. Manikans started moving. Tidus and Roxas hugged each other in fear, screaming and crying. Riku backed up as close to the wall as he could, screeching for all he was worth.
Leon looked at a manikan whose heart was showing, unfazed. Everyone else sat and screamed all through the night while Leon went to bed.
