CHAPTER 6--Mood swings, iguanas, and viking hats

TEAM DISNEY, THE NEXT MORNING Kairi stared at Sora. "What's wrong with you"
"Nerves...been stuck...in this insane place with that deranged happy child...so long...so...scared of the world..." Marluxia walked in and pointed.
"What's wrong with him?" Suddenly Sora turned red.
"WHY, DO YOU THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH ME! AM I A FAULTY EXISTENCE! HUH! DO YOU THINK I'M A WASTE! WELL"
"N-no, I was just saying"
"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK BEFORE YOU SAY, YOU MORON! OR IS THAT TOO DIFFICULT!" Kairi raised an eyebrow.
"Sora, are you sure you're all right"
Sora's expression went calm, and he smiled sweetly, speaking in a soft, relaxed voice. "Of course I'm fine, Kairi. I was merely showing Marluxia the error of his ways"
"What"
"CONFUSED! OR ARE YOU JUST IGNORING ME BECAUSE YOU COULD CARE LESS ABOUT WHAT I HAVE TO SAY! THAT'S PROBABLY IT, RIGHT! I'M SO USELESS THAT YOU WON'T EVEN STOP TO LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY"
"Sora, that's not true"
Now he started to cry. "Of course it is...no one likes me..." Kairi gasped.
"It can't be..." she paused. "But it is. Mood swings." Marluxia screamed in terror.
"MIGAWD what are we going to do! CALL THE NAVY, THE NATIONAL GUARD, SOMEBODY HELP! I'M SPIRALING! I'M SPIRALING!" Shi slapped him.
"There. All better?" He nodded. "Good then. What's up?" Kairi pointed to Sora, who was still crying. "Mood swings. I see. A terrible disease if I ever saw one. I'm afraid there's not much I can do"
"Are you serious"
"Unfortunately...yes. All you can do is try your best to not set him off. The next challenge is in half an hour. Meet me at Epcot then"
"And these insane challenges aren't going to set him off and ruin our lives, right?" Marluxia asked, clutching his scythe in fear.
"That, I can't promise. Bye-bye, friends!" she left.
Marluxia looked at Kairi. "Shi's a demonic little girl, isn't she"
"You didn't get that her name was death and she spreads about that much happiness"
"Apparently, no"
"Apparently, you need a reality check"
"I thought you got those at the dentist every 6 months"
Kairi slapped her forehead. "C'mon, we have to leave"
"LEAVE!" Sora shrieked, shivering in horror. "I'M NOT LEAVING!" Marluxia raised his scythe.
"LOOK, CHILD, ENOUGH WITH YOUR TEENAGE MOOD ISSUES! START MOVING"
"I'M NOT GOING OUTSIDE! OUTSIDE WAS WHERE THE CIVIL WAR WAS HELD! I'M STAYING HERE!" Kairi glared.
"Stay here and the rats will eat you." Sora screamed and fainted. "Good, we can leave now...hey Father Time, carry the boy to Epcot"
"HECK NO"
"HOW'D YOU LIKE TO DIE, PUNK"
Marluxia: Oo "Okay..." Marluxia picked up Sora and followed Kairi out of the park and down the road to Epcot.

TEAM YENSID, SAME TIME "My feeeeeeeeet hurt..." Roxas complained. Riku nodded.
"Mine too"
"My feeeeeeeeet hurt"
"Mine too"
"My"
"SHUT UP!" Leon roared, turning around in the middle of the road. "I don't care if your 'feeeeeeet hurt'! Just can it and keep walking"
"I say we flag down a cab." Riku snapped. Roxas grinned.
"Yeah"
"NO! NO CABS! IN MY DAY, WE WALKED EVERYWHERE UPHILL BOTH WAYS"
-silence-
"In your day?" Riku asked, raising an eyebrow. "When was your day"
"1901 I MEAN...this day, why"
Roxas and Riku gasped. "YOU'RE 105"
"NO, what gave you that idea?" Leon mumbled, tucking a gray hair underneath the brown ones. Roxas walked farther away from him, followed by Riku.
"There's something wrong with the alien. I think...he's different than usual. He hasn't threatened my life yet"
"Yet." Riku added sarcastically. "I'm sure it's nothing"
"But didn't you hear? He said his day was 1901"
"Yeah that was kinda weird. Leave it until the challenge...there's another tribal council this time around. That death and destruction child can pick up on anything, so if something's up,
she'll find out." Roxas nodded slowly.
"You're right. She was totally on to me that time I had that lizard hidden in my pocket." He pulled it out and held it up. It was a very angry, very snapping iguana. "His name's Philip.
Wanna hold him?" Riku shook his head as Philip snarled and tried to bite his hand off.
"No thanks...are you sure Philip's...legal"
"Of course! Isn't he the sweetest...PHILIP, NO! What have I told you about eating people!"

FOURTH CHALLENGE "Welcome one, welcome all, to the fourth splendiforous challenge! Let's give it a round of applause!" Shi started to clap. No one else clapped, and Shi stopped and stared at them ashamedly. "You people are dead inside"
"Thank you for raising our self-confidence." Riku muttered with annoyance. Sora screeched.
"I'M DEAD INSIDE"
"NO YOU MORON IT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH"
"SPEECH HAS FIGURES! ARE THEY GOING TO EAT ME!" Sora clenched his fists. "I'LL KILL THOSE STUPID FIGURES OF SPEECH YOU JUST WATCH! MUAHAHAHAHA...oh no, I can't believe that I had such a violent thought, I'm such a horrible person..." he started to cry, and Shi took that moment to talk.
"Okay, so here we are, at another challenge. This is obviously an immunity challenge, so Team Disney, gimme the immunity idol." Marluixa tossed her the Mickey plushie. Staring at it for a second, Shi tossed it over her shoulder into a random pit of fire. Roxas screamed.
"MICKEY! He was my buddy..." Shi scoffed.
"Too bad, here's the new idol." she held up a Stitch plushie. "See? Even spiffier"
King Mickey, at that very moment, somewhere random: "I feel like...I've been...defeated by...commercialism"
"ANYWAY, after that insanely rude and random interruption by the mouse himself, here's the challenge rules of DOOM. Literally, of doom." Shi snapped her fingers and a little piece of paper appeared. Riku started to laugh.
"That little scrap of notebook paper is our doom"
"Oh, it's not just any scrap of notebook paper, Riku..." Shi cackled evilly. "It's a scavenger hunt." Sora screamed again.
"NOT A SCAVENGER HUNT ANYTHING BUT A SCAVENGER HUNT AHHHHH NO"
-inside Sora's memory...- Sora remembers a scavenger hunt from Riku's 4th birthday party. He had to find a shiny pebble. On his way to find one, he was mauled by a pigeon. The end of Sora's flashback. -ends-
"That harrowing memory lives on in my mind..." Sora started to cry. Shi sniffed.
"That is so sad...OH WELL LIFE GOES ON! In the meantime, let's go over the rules. You each get a list. They each have different tasks so you aren't killing each other to get the same things"
"You mean you DON'T want us to kill each other?" Kairi said loudly, shocked. Everyone else looked at each other and nodded. It was surprising--the insane child didn't want to laugh at their misery and failure?
Shi laughed. "Oh, of course I do." The others let out a disappointed sigh. "You're just going to kill each other in an attempt to slow the other team down, instead." Marluxia rolled his eyes.
"Gee, you sure made some sacrifices to your joy to make us feel more appreciated"
"Yes, I know, I know. Now then, here are your lists"
They magically floated down to the team members. Riku grabbed Team Yensid's, and Marluxia grabbed Team Disney's.
"A crossaint with a rock inside of it..." Riku read. "Huh"
"That's not as weird as a taco made of index cards." Kairi said, looking up at Shi. "Are you sure that any of this is even here"
"Yeah, it's all here in Epcot. In the World Showcase, so don't bother looking inside Spaceship Earth or anything. Your brain will melt, but you won't find anything on that list. Now everyone ready to go?" They all nodded. "OKAYREADYSETGO GO!" Riku took off, leaving Roxas and Leon in the dust. They hurried to catch up while Kairi and Marluxia tried to get Sora to stop clinging to the bench.
"Come on Sora! Don't you want the Stitch plushie?" Kairi pleaded, trying desperately to pry his arm out from its death grip on the bench. Sora shook his head.
"IT'LL HAVE LOOSE THREADS AND THEN I'LL CHOKE ON THEM"
"STOP BEING SO NEUROTIC!" Marluxia screamed, raising his scythe. Kairi stopped him.
"Dinosaur Man, violence is not the way to get through to a fourteen year old"
"Then what do you suggest!" Shi watched with interest, wanting to know what would happen now.
"Something...something that would empty his mind all at once...you know, like, knock him out"
"A punch"
"NO, I said no violence"
"THEN WHAT"
"WAIT, I KNOW! Sora, turn around!" he did, and was promptly kissed by Kairi. Shi screamed and fell over backwards, but scrambled back up to take pictures. Marluxia yelped and jumped away.
Kairi stepped back and shook her head. "Wow that was weird"
"Young looooove..." Marluxia started to say, but Kairi kicked him in the shin and sent him spiraling into the pavement.
Sora did nothing. He sat completely still and didn't move except for breathing. Kairi poked his shoulder. "Sora"
"Yes, Kairi"
"Scavenger hunt"
"Yes, Kairi." he stood up and walked away, not blinking. Shi was looking through her digital camera and chuckling to herself.
"Oh, the money money money I will get get get when the fans fans fans see this this this..." she chanted happily. "Aw, that one was fuzzy...delete"
Kairi grabbed her camera and raised it up as if to throw it. Shi screamed. "KAIRI NO"
"Show these to ANYONE, and I will make your life a living nightmare. A nightmare that you will never wake up from." Shi nodded slowly and carefully took back her camera. "Understood"
"Yes ma'am...Kairi ma'am..." Kairi dragged a still-in-shock Sora away, followed by a still-in-pain Marluxia. Shi made some popcorn and pulled out a portable DVD player. She was halfway through watching the entire 7th season of None of My Kids Thursday, and the episode where Courtney gets a pigeon for St. Patrick's Day was the next one on the disk. It was not to be missed.

Riku looked at Roxas. "Let's find that crossaint with the rock first. Where do they have crossaints"
"Dunkin Donuts?" Roxas said hopefully. Riku slapped him.
"No, you moron! Think! Think COUNTRY that has crossaints." Roxas thought.
"Kentucky"
"THAT'S NOT A COUNTRY!" Riku roared, infuriated. "Leon? You know?" Leon looked around.
"I dunno...France"
"FRANCE THAT'S RIGHT IT'S FRANCE!" Riku took off across the big bridge that led to France. Leon followed. Before running off after them, Roxas sighed.
"Coulda sworn it was Kentucky." Then he followed.
Five minutes later.
"OKAY, here's the crossaint basket...which one has a rock in it?" Roxas said, looking at Riku, then Leon, then Riku again. Riku shrugged.
"Whichever one's the heaviest." They all picked one up. Each one was the same. "Well, that won't work...I know, stick your finger in it!" They did. Leon's had the rock, so they threw it in the brown paper bag that was supposed to hold the items from the list. Riku pulled out a pencil and checked off the first item. "Next...a manga with at least 50 pages." He took off. Leon sighed.
"He has GOT to stop bolting like that"
"He's like a lightning bolt." Roxas said, laughing.
-cricket cricket cricket-
"What"
"A lightning BOLT, get it? Because he BOLTS so much? It's a joke"
"No it isn't"
"IT IS TOO"
"No, it isn't. It's not even funny." Leon insisted. They kept arguing as they walked away, following the trail of ripped up ground Riku had left.

Kairi looked around. "Taco made of index cards...taco made of index cards. Well we're in Mexico, so where's all the tacos?" she turned around to see Sora pointing at the taco store. "Oh,
right. Tacos...at the taco store"
Now that Sora's mood swing had ended, he was back to his normal self. Which was, in some ways, worse.
Marluxia went into the back of the little booth to where all the tacos were. Picking a few up, he held them out so Kairi could see. "Which one looks like index cards?" Kairi shrugged. Sora shrugged.
"They all taste like index cards." he said, munching a few. Kairi took them away and threw them into the lake.
"Sora...FOCUS!" Sora smirked.
"Or what, you'll kiss me again?" Marluxia scoffed.
"No, you moron, I won't. Not ever." She threw a rock at him. "Now get your head out of the clouds and find the stupid taco...HEY, I found it!" She grabbed the taco made of index cards and put it in their brown paper bag. "What's next"
"Viking helmet! I WANT THE VIKING HELMET I CALL IT!" Sora screamed, running towards the Viking place. Marluxia followed him.
"NO, I DESERVE IT MOST! I SHALL REGAIN POWER OVER THE VIKING HELMET, AND USE ITS VIKING HELMETY POWERS TO TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE AND SHROUD THE WORLDS IN DARKNESS!" Kairi stopped him.
"Didn't you already try to shroud the worlds in darkness"
"Yeah, so"
"And Sora, the brainless wonder, stopped you?" Marluxia paused, obviously unsure of how to make a come back to something so painfully true.
"Yeah, well...you know the old saying. Just because a brainless wonder of a 14 year old thwarts your evil plan doesn't mean he'll thwart it if you try again"
"There is no old saying that goes like that"
"Isn't there one about if you fail try, try again"
"Yes"
"Then I meant that one. Only without the evil plan being thwarted by a brainless wonder part. NOW OFF TO GAIN MY HELMET OF VIKING POWER! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kairi sighed.
"They're both such idiots..."

"HERE IT IS, A MANGA WITH AT LEAST 50 PAGES!" Roxas held it up proudly. Leon snatched it away.
"It does have at least 50 pages...but then again, they all do. So which one do we take?" He looked through the pile. "Maybe it's the one that says TAKE THIS ONE"
"Nah, it can't be!" Riku said, taking the one Roxas had picked up. "That's just a trap. I've seen it all before. They think we're so stupid we'll take the one with the label, but HA! We've got so much brainpower, we know we have to take the less obvious one. TAKE THAT, INSANE CHILD!" He started to walk away, but Leon stopped him.
"Really, it must be that one. Shi isn't that smart, either. She's smarter than you, but not very smart overall." Riku glared.
"Leon, you insensitive, heartless fiend. Stop ruining my moment of triumph over Shi the hyperactive insane girl and let's go"
"It could cost us the challenge. There's only one item left, and we have to get them all. I say we play it safe and take the one with the label"
Roxas and Riku looked at each other. "Nah!" they both said, laughing. As they walked away, Leon shrugged.
"Oh well, their loss if we lose. Off to find..." he checked the list. "A lizard."

"HELMET OF VIKING POOOOOWER? WHERE AAAAARE YOOOOU!" Marluxia screamed, his voice echoing through the tunnel. Sora ran past him and shoved him into the water. "YOU FIEND,
I'LL GET YOU FOT THIS!" Marluxia roared, kicking water at him. Sora just kept running.
"I'M GONNA GET A VIKING HAT, DOO DAH, DOO DAH, I'M GONNA GET A VIKING HAT, LALALALALALAAAAA HEY HERE IT IIIIIIS!" he sang, grabbing the hat and putting it on. "I LIKE IT!
Kairi, don't you like it"
"No. It's so 1000 A.D., Sora"
"So"
"You're out of fashion with that hat"
Sora looked down at his clothes. "Was I ever in fashion to begin with"
"No, but that hat brings you further out of fashion"
Marluxia scoffed again. "As if he could get any further out of it. Anyway, I don't want it, it totally clashes with this black cloak." Kairi spun around.
"LIKE OMG, YOU ARE SO TOTALLY RIGHT!" Marluxia nodded.
"Yeah, I was thinking more along the lines of a scarf"
"THAT WOULD BE SO ADORABLE! I saw this dark blue one, in this store, and it was SOOOOOO cute! It would completely blend with your black cloak!" Sora backed away.
"Kairi, you're scaring me..." she turned to him, suddenly normal.
"Am I? Sorry. Terribly sorry. Father Time, pack it up. We gotta go find a sombrero"
"OMIGAWD I WANT THE SOMBRERO! FOSSIL PERSON, TAKE THE VIKING HELMET!" Sora scampered away, singing the Mexican hat dance song. Marluxia put on the helmet.
"You know, it does give one a feeling of...power"
"And it gives others the feeling of nausea. Take it off"
"DO NOT SEPERATE ME, THE POWERFUL ORGANIZATION MEMBER MARLUXIA, FROM HIS POWER, CHILD"
"HOW'D YOU LIKE ME TO SEPERATE YOUR ARM FROM THE REST OF YOUR BODY, MORON"
"I wouldn't." he walked away quickly, glancing back with fear. Kairi sighed and followed wearily.

"So where do we go to get a lizard!" Roxas asked. No one answered. "COME ON, we have to find it! Or we loooooose"
Riku glared. "You think we don't know that"
"Well I don't know what you're thinking"
"That wasn't the question, genius." Leon sighed. "I guess we just have to go back. Maybe Sora, Kairi, and the flower guy didn't find all theirs either." Riku nodded.
"Yeah...yeah, you're right. There's no way any team with Sora found all theirs. Anytime he does scavengers hunts, he gets mauled by pigeons." He followed Leon and Roxas back to the starting point.

Sora pulled on the sombrero. "WEEEEEEEEE I gots a sombrero, Kairi"
"Good for you. Stop acting like you're five and let's get a move on. We have to get back to the start before the other guys do." Kairi was about to turn around when she saw Marluxia hiding something in his pocket. "What do you have"
"NOTHING"
"Show me"
"NO"
"SHOW ME OR I RIP YOUR LEG OFF"
"FINE!" Marluxia held up an iguana. "I found him over there." he pointed to the Chinese food place. Kairi shook her head.
"I don't have time to do anything about this, so let's just get back. Sora, pull the sombrero up so you can actually see where you're going." He did, and they all left.

Shi looked up, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. The DVD had just passed the episode where the pigeon Courtney got for St. Patrick's Day presented the wedding ring given to her as a birthday gift from Frederick, her boyfriend since high school. Sobbing, she grabbed the box of tissues just as the two teams came in at the exact same time.
"AUGH! I mean...-sniff- hello, everyone. Got all the stuff?" Sora stared.
"Are you...crying"
"NO, I've got...dust in my eye"
"Oh. That's terrible." Roxas said. Shi nodded.
"Now...show me the scavenger hunt stuff. Team Disney, you first." Sora pointed to his sombrero, grinning and humming the Mexican hat dance song. Marluxia held his Viking hat, muttering something about world conquest. Kairi gave Shi the taco made of index cards. "Team Disney, you got all your items! Good. But since you both came in at the same exact moment, right as the credits were rolling on my DVD, you don't automatically win. Team Yensid, show me what you found." Riku gave her the manga with at least 50 pages and Leon gave her the crossaint with the rock inside it.
"So Riku, you guys DIDN'T take the manga that said TAKE THIS ONE"
"Nope"
"Good. It was a trap. A cunning, evil trap." Riku started laughing triumphantly, pointing at Leon and mocking him.
"SEE! I was right! RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT, I WAS RIGHT! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ignoring Riku's celebrating, Shi went on to Roxas. Roxas sighed.
"No lizard"
"You couldn't find it? It was obvious. The stuffed animal store. It was one of the stuffed animals there, didn't you see?" Shi suddenly noticed Marluxia holding an iguana. "Just like that one." Marluxia looked at the lizard, then at Shi.
"You mean Carlos is a stuffed animal? But he's real!" Roxas gasped.
"PHILIP"
"NO, CARLOS, YOU MANIAC!" Shi blinked.
"Roxas, is that your lizard"
"THAT'S PHILIP HE'S MY PET"
"Is he legal"
"HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO ASK THAT? Yes, of course. He's really very sweet. Philip, come 'ere!" Philip leaped away from Marluxia and scampered to Roxas. Marluxia cried.
"Carlos...WHY!" Kairi smacked him.
"SHUT UP BEFORE I TEAR YOUR VOCAL CORDS OUT!" Shi stared, looking scared for once.
"So much for being a princess..." Kairi grabbed her by her shirt collar and glared, her free hand clenched into a fist.
"I AM A PRINCESS! A PRETTY, PERFECT, PRINCESS"
"YES YES OF COURSE YOU ARE LEMME GO HAVE MERCY!" Shi wailed. Kairi dropped her, and she scurried away. "So, um, Roxas. You have a lizard, and it counts even though it isn't a stuffed animal"
"I can fix that!" Marluxia roared, raising his scythe. Roxas screamed, and Shi shook her head.
"No. You won't. Now, I guess that it's a tie..." Philip snarled and bit Shi's hand as hard as he could. Shi yelped and tried to pull her hand back, but Philip chomped down harder. "OW!
OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! LET GO OF MY HAND YOU EVIL ANIMAL! LEGGO!" Roxas gasped.
"PHILIP YOU CAN'T EAT PEOPLE HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT!" he stepped back and pulled. Philip let go, and Shi moaned.
"MY HAAAAAAAND...ow..." Riku smiled innocently.
"So do we have a tie breaker"
"OF COURSE NOT! THERE IS NO TIE ANYMORE! Team Disney, you win." Team Disney cheered and jumped around. Sora grabbed the Stitch plushie and held it up over his head. Kairi and Marluxia lifted him on their shoulders and walked away, chanting happily.
Riku looked from them, to Shi, to Roxas, to Philip, to Leon, and back to Shi. "We lose"
"Yeah. No killer animals unless I'm the one with them. Tribal council is in an hour. Meet me at the castle, and think about who you want voted off." Shi walked off. Riku glared at Roxas and cracked his knuckles, gently clenching his hands into tight fists. Leon pulled out his Gunblade.
Roxas smiled. "Hehehe...um..." Philip leaped away, already aware that if he stayed, he'd get pummeled too. Roxas watched him leave, then looked back to his enraged teammates. "Uh, I guess accidents happen, right"
Riku smirked and laughed sarcastically. "Oh sure, accidents happen"
Leon glared. "But blaming the 'accident' on you is no accident." He lunged. Riku lunged. Roxas yelped and darted away, running for the exit to the Magic Kingdom. Riku and Leon followed,
screaming at him for all they were worth.