Chapter 4

Gibbs rang the bell but got no answer. Calling out to her he tried the door and found it open. She was on her sofa, black make up staining her face in streaks made by the tears he'd caused.

"It's not safe leaving your door open like that Abbs." He sat next to her and pulled her into his arms.

"Don't care."

"Well I do. Promise me you'll start locking your door."

She rolled her big green eyes up to him, "Promise me you'll be at work Monday morning."

"Can't do that, Abby."

They sat in silence for awhile, her head against his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. "You really scared me you know."

"I know."

"They wouldn't let me in close enough to touch you, and then when you woke up Tony wouldn't let me leave the lab until I had processed all of his evidence."

"Good."

"Gibbs!"

"If it were McGee in the hospital would I have let you leave before you were finished work?"

"No." she admitted grudgingly.

He smiled.

"Tony's not you."

"He is now." His fingers stroked her arm absently.

She didn't look at him when she asked, "Are you scared?"

"Of what?"

She shrugged, "I mean, is that why you're quitting, I guess I could understand not wanting to be blown up again."

He laughed, "No, I'm not scared of blowing up, not from a bomb anyway."

"Then why?"

"I watched men die today that could have been saved. I did everything in my power to save them and someone else chose to let them die to save face. I can't be a part of that."

She sat up and faced him, "What about all the people that didn't die because of you? You can't save everybody even if you do your job perfectly every day, but you can't save ANYBODY if you just run away."

"I'm not running." He exhaled away his exasperation. "I'm tired Abby. Some days I feel like I go home 20 years older than I was when I drove in."

She touched his temple and smoothed the hair there lightly, cautious of the still red and bruised skin. "You're not old."

He took her fingers and kissed them. "Promise me you'll start locking your doors."

Her eyes became red again, "I promise."

"I'm not telling anyone how to reach me" he began.

"Not even the director?" Abby chimed in before snuggling back under his protective wing.

"Especially not the director." He didn't add out loud that Jenny could find him anywhere in the world, it didn't matter if he told her where he'd be. "But I'm going to give you a number you can call if you need me. This number is STRICTLY for emergencies Abbs, you understand?"

"Is my heart breaking an emergency?"

He kissed the top of her head, "You won't even miss me in a few weeks."

"That's not true. I'll miss you forever."

"Not forever, just for awhile. You'll see me again."

"I will?" she got excited.

"Have I ever missed your birthday?"

"Nope."

"And I never will, you lock your doors, I'll never miss your birthday, deal?"

"Deal!"