Summary: Hey guy, Sirius the Zombie and The Crayon Ray Guns are BACK! Find out why Moody is always screaming CONSTANT VIGILANCE, what Voldemort's favorite cartoon is, and what Sirius fears the most. You will also discover that SNAPE WEARS SOCKS! OMG! THE PURE RATED G HORROR!

BTW: I GOT THE INTERNET BACK! WHOOOT!

At some Place on PLUTO!

Sirius the ZOMBIE climbed into the spaceship with a CD player and headphones. "BYE DUDES!" he yelled and closed the hatch behind him.

Sirius the ZOMBIE buckled up with the spaceship-thing-seat-belt-thingy and put the headphones on.

"5! 4! 3! 2! 1! BLASTOFF!" said a freaky voice who sounded oddly like Mickey Mouse.

The spaceship lurched forwards as Sirius the ZOMBIE pressed the play button on the CD player.

The Elton John "Rocket Man" song came on loudly.

By the time the song finished Sirius the ZOMBIE was halfway to Earth.

Meanwhile….

"CHARGE!" Dumbledore yelled as the OOTP members attacked a bunch of Death Eaters.

Voldemort laughed, "YOU WILL ALL DIE! I WILL PROVE IT!" and then he killed some random guy (who was actually a death eater).

"STUPLEFY!" Harry yelled at a Death Eater. He accidentally hit Ginny who went flying into the air and squished a Death Eater. "I guess that works," he said as he shrugged.

Suddenly a loud roar came from the sky.

"OH NO! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" Voldemort yelled. "I WANTED TO START THE END OF THE WORLD! NO FAIR!"

And then a spaceship crashed into the ground squishing a few Death Eaters. After the dust settled from the impact that had shaken everyone off their feet the hatch opened. A strange smell hit them like an egg to a car window.

"WHO FARTED!" Voldemort roared. "REMUS WAS THAT YOU!" he yelled at the werewolf.

"WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS THINK I FARTED!" Remus yelled and sobbed into a Death Eater's robes.

"Stop whining and GET OFF ME!" the Death Eater said.

Then a figure drunkenly crawled out of the hatch and fell down unceremoniously on the ground.

"I'm so DIZZY! When will the ground stop moving?" the unidentified freaky organism (UFO) said.

The smell had gotten worse. It was so bad that Narcissa Malfoy and Molly Weasely and a few other people fell over in a faint.

"SIRIUS!" Remus yelled. "I KNEW I RECOGNIZED THAT STENCH!" Remus ran over and hugged the figure who had now been identified as Sirius the ZOMBIE!

"NO! SIRIUS IS A ZOMBIE! HE IS AN EVILNESS!" Snape yelled. "Also he smells really bad."

"YOU CAN'T FIGHT ZOMBIES WITH MAGIC!" Hermione yelled.

"Yeah, didn't we make that clear last time?" Harry asked.

Sirius the ZOMBIE got up. "Hi guys! I'm back from Pluto! And I got a CD player!" He showed a CD Player that had SPONGEBOB ALL OVER IT!

"OHMIGOD! IT'S SPONGEBOB! I LOVE SPONGEBOB!" Voldemort said. "GIVE IT TO ME!"

"GASP! IT'S HE MOLDYSHORTS! NO! YOU WILL NEVER GET IT FROM ME! SPONGEBOB IS MINE!" Sirius the ZOMBIE said as he hugged the CD player.

"SIRIUS! What have I told you about aggravating EVIL DARK LORDS!" Remus said. "Be nice and share."

"But I don't wanna," Sirius the ZOMBIE said.

"Is it me or has everyone gone mad?" Moody asked. "SIRIUS IS A ZOMBIE! HE MUST BE DESTROYED WITH THE CRAYONS OF MOUNT DOOM!"

"Sirius is a Zombie with a brain!" Remus said to Moody. "Just any ordinary crayons can't send him back to Pluto. They have to be the expensive kind or you have to use a CRAYON RAY GUN (which shoots out several thousand shades of blue as well as other colors). Also, this isn't supposed to be a HP/LOTR Crossover, so you can't go get the crayons from Mount Doom."

"Oh, with all these different fanfics I get confused OKAY!" Moody yelled.

"Oh, I HAVE A BRAIN!" Sirius the ZOMBIE said randomly.

"If only he used it," Remus sighed.

"GIVE ME YOUR CD PLAYER!" Voldemort yelled at Sirius.

"NEVER!" Sirius said. He grabbed Harry by the legs and threw him on Voldemort.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Harry yelled as he hit Voldemort in the chest.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Voldemort yelled as a teenager hit him in the chest and knocked him over into the bird bath that was conveniently behind him. Harry's weight kept Voldemort from behind able to get up and he drowned in the bird bath.

"OH NO! I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL HIM!" Harry said as Voldemort's limp body fell over as useless as used floss. "I DON'T WANNA BE A MURDER!"

"Well, party's over," said one of the Death Eaters glumly, and all the Death Eaters apparated away (except for the dead ones because they're dead ya know).

"VOLDEMORT IS DEAD!" Dumbledore yelled. "HARRY YOU DID IT!"

"But… all I did was get flung at him," Harry said.

"Didn't you know? The best way to defeat an EVIL WIZARD is to squish them with your own body," Dumbledore said.

"That sounds… disturbing," Harry said.

"EXACTLY!" Dumbledore said.

"ZOMBIE!" Moody said. "SIRIUS IS A ZOMBIE!"

"I say we use my SUPER-COOL-MEGA-AWESOME-CRAYON-RAY-GUN-THINGY to send him back to PLUTO!" Snape said.

"OoOoOoO!" Moody said. "I'm impressed! You have a SUPER-COOL-MEGA-AWESOME-CRAYON-RAY-GUN-THINGY! All I got is a NOT-SO-SUPER-COOL-MEGA-AWESOME-YET-STILL-SUPER-COOL-MEGA-AWESOME-CRAYON-WATER-GUN-THINGAMAGIG! To handle it you must have CONSTANT VIGILLANCE! That's why I say that so much. I read the instruction manual a couple hundred times. It's forever imprinted in my mind."

Sirius the ZOMBIE wailed into Remus' robes. "I DON'T WANNA GO TO PLUTO!"

"I DO!" Remus said.

"But you're not a zombie; I thought we already went over this!" Sirius the ZOMBIE said.

"I WANNA BE A ZOMBIE!" Remus yelled.

"BUT A WEREWOLF ZOMBIE WOULDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Sirius the ZOMBIE exclaimed. "It's as crazy as what you did when we snuck out during 6th year to go to Hogsmead to—"

"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!" Remus screamed and covered Sirius the ZOMBIE'S mouth.

"Oh, in that case I'll tell them all the details," Sirius the ZOMBIE said as he removed Remus' fingers out of his mouth.

"You wouldn't," Remus growled.

"I would," Sirius the ZOMBIE said. "It started when we were in our sixth year at Hogwarts. We were going to celebrate a hugely successful prank involving the tablecloth at the teacher's table in The Great Hall to attack the teachers. Moony thought it would be a good idea to—"

"BAD ZOMBIE!" Remus screamed. "TIME OUT FOR YOU MISTER!" He grabbed Moody's NOT-SO-SUPER-COOL-MEGA-AWESOME-YET-STILL-SUPER-COOL-MEGA-AWESOME-CRAYON-WATER-GUN-THINGAMAGIG and pointed it at Sirius the ZOMBIE.

"GASP! REMUS DON'T!" Moody yelled.

"YEAH WHAT HE SAID!" Sirius the ZOMBIE screamed.

Remus looked at the confusing looking NOT-SO-SUPER-COOL-MEGA-AWESOME-YET-STILL-SUPER-COOL-MEGA-AWESOME-CRAYON-WATER-GUN-THINGAMAGIG and pressed a random button.

A pound of socks suddenly flung themselves at Sirius the ZOMBIE!

"AHHHHH! SOCKS! THEY ARE MY GREATEST FEAR! SOCKS!" Sirius the ZOMBIE yelled as he ran in circles. He paused to smell them, "OH MY GOD THEY ARE SNAPE'S SOCKS! THAT'S LIKE 10 TIMES SCARRIER TO THE SECOND DEGREE!"

Remus stared and looked kinda like this: 0.0

"I didn't know Snape wore socks," Hermione said. "Then again I didn't know if he didn't wear socks either. He just doesn't seem like a sock wearing kinda guy."

"Well, you get blisters if you wear shoes and no socks," Harry said. "I can't imagine him barefooted either."

"SEND THEM AWAY!" Sirius the ZOMBIE screamed in PURE TERROR!

"Uhh, I'll try," Remus said hesitantly. As he pushed another button on the NOT-SO-SUPER-COOL-MEGA-AWESOME-YET-STILL-SUPER-COOL-MEGA-AWESOME-CRAYON-WATER-GUN-THINGAMAGIG (which shall now be referred to as a NSSCMAYSSCMACWGT) a huge Patronus-like being exploded out. The only difference between this thing and any other Patronus was it was rainbow colored. It looked like it had been Tie-Dyed. It happened to be Sponge-Bob.

"SPONGEBOB I LOVE YOU!" Sirius the ZOMBIE screamed. "SAVE MY FROM THE SOCKS!"

"You don't love me anymore?" Remus whimpered as Sirius the ZOMBIE raced to hug Sponge Bob.

"SIRIUS DON'T! IT'S A SPONGEBOB CRAYON!" Harry yelled.

Sirius the ZOMBIE didn't listen and hugged the Tie-Dyed Sponge Bob. In a large Crayola Colorful Cloud of Crayola Colorful Cloudy-ness Sirius the ZOMBIE and Sponge Bob disappeared with a Crayola Colorful POP.

"DAMN YOU SPONGEBOB! I SHALL SEEK MY REVENGE!" Remus yelled. "I DIDN'T WANT TO SEND HIM BACK TO PLUTO YET!" He threw Moody's NSSCMAYSSCMACWGT on the ground. (I bet whoever is reading this is having trouble pronouncing NSSCMAYSSCMACWGT. FYI: Don't try it. It'll drive you insane, and if you're already insane you shall be even MORE insane!) "STUPID NSSCMAYSSCMACWGT!"

At Pluto…

"Back so soon?" THE Overlord of the Zombies of Pluto (aka author of this insane story) asked Sirius.

"SOCKS!" Sirius the ZOMBIE yelled. He just noticed there was a sock stuck in his tangled up hair. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AM I THE ONLY SANE ONE HERE!" THE Overlord of the Zombies of Pluto screamed at a large mass wild moose trampled her. "AHHHH!" After the moose had ran off somewhere THE Overlord of the Zombies of Pluto muttered, "I will kill whoever put this moose stampede here!"

A figure in the shadows laughed like a hyena.

"Lord of the Fish, HOW DARE YOU SEND A LARGE STAMPEDE OF MOOSE TO TRAMPLE ME!"

The Lord of the Fish (aka the person whose stuff I edit before it goes on stepped out of the shadows, pulled off one of her wristbands on her wrist, and shot it like a rubber band directly into The Overlord of the Zombie's eye!

"AUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" The Overlord of the Zombies of Pluto screamed. She stumbled around blindly before falling into the spaghetti closet. Yes people, there is a spaghetti closet on Pluto.

The Lord of the Fish then calmly locked the door. "REVENGE IS MINE!" The Lord of the Fish screamed. Then she clapped her hands and yelled "SHAZAAM!" and in a poof of smoke (not Crayola Colorful Cloud of Smoke) she was gone.

"Hello? HELLOOOOO! Somebody let me out! It's dark and I'm hungry!" The Overlord of the Zombies of Pluto yelled. "I DON'T WANT TO GET OUT USING THE VENTS AGAIN! WHY DO I ALWAYS GET LOCKED IN A CLOSET!"

Sirius the ZOMBIE was rocking back and forth in a fetal position. "You will die you demonic sock," he hissed and then he screeched as he grabbed a mallet and began trying to demolish Snape's Sock.

EPILOGUE! This came to me randomly while I was bored and I just had to stick it in here! I just love torturing Snape. It's fun!

At Hogwarts…

Snape was in his bedroom; he opened a drawer and was stunned to see HIS SOCKS WERE MISSING!

"NO! MY SOCKS! I NEED THEM! OTHERWISE MY SHOES GIVE ME BLISTERS THE SIZE OF ALASKA!" Snape yelled. "I DON'T KNOW ANY POTION STRONG ENOUGH TO CURE MY BLISTERS!"

Snape yanked out the drawer to find a small yellow piece of paper.

"What's this?" Snape asked himself as he picked it up.

On the Paper it said…

Snape,

I need your socks for my N.S.S.C.M.A.Y.S.S.C.M.A.C.W.G.T. You're a potions master; you don't really need socks anyways. Hope you don't mind. Remember like it says in the instructions, CONSTANT VILIGANCE!

-Moody

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Snape screamed.

The paper fell to the ground and did a flip in the air. On the back it said, "And they all lived happily ever after, THE END!"

Notes: WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE! YELLOW SUBMARINE! YELLOW SUBMARINE!

The word of the day is: Electronical! It's not really a word, but its fun to say!

Reason for writing this: I was bored. I needed to focus my insanity on something. Maybe someday there will be a part 3. Who knows? Until then, MUSTARD BOTTLE!

-Koala the Overlord of the Zombies on Pluto aka Lidi aka Lily aka ASSASSIN!