Just to Breathe
~Fujin's Story~

Chapter Eleven
Desert Storm

"Fire: The sun is well asleep; Moon is high above; Fire grows from the east.  How is this hate so deep, lead us all so blindly killing, killing?  Fools are we!  IF hate's the gate to peace, this is the last stop for raining tears." –DMB; "The Last Stop"

~*~

          Dear Fujin,

                        I'm not sure when I'll see you again, but I wanted to be able to wish you a happy fifteenth birthday!  I hope all goes well for you.  Good luck with your history test!  I will be thinking of you.

                        Your friend, Ellone

            I found the not taped to my dorm when Quistis and I returned from the test.  I only had a minute to treasure the note, and I stuffed it under my pillow when Raijin's obnoxious knocking could be heard on the door. 

            "Come on, Fujin, ya know?  We have to go to Balamb soon, ya know?  It's your birthday, ya know!"

            "It's your birthday?" Quistis arched a perfect eyebrow as she moved to open the door for my bulky friend, who burst through joyously. 

            "Sorry about that, Miz Trepe," he nodded at my roommate as he seized my arm.  "Let's go, ya know!"  I couldn't help but laugh as he dragged me down the hall.

            It was a beautiful day.  We fished, we swam, we sparred, and we picnicked.  As I lay out in the sun with my head on Seifer's boots, we both laughed heartily at Raijin's butterfly chasing techniques ("This is harder than taking down a monster, ya know?"). 

            I was sad to see the evening end, for I was unable to remember a happier birthday.  Raijin carried me sleepily back to my dorm at the days' close, and tucked me in with a kiss to the forehead and a whispered "Happy birthday."  When I rolled over, and my hand brushed against the folded note under my pillow, I smiled. 

~*~

            "Tomorrow is," I paused to formulate the words in my mind.  I was getting faster.  "The field exam." 

            Dr. Kadowaki smiled at me from her desk.  Over the years she had not only been my speech therapist, but my mentor well.  She was the one to explain to me that the cause for my difficulty with speech was simply that my Broca's Area was underused, and therefore, much less developed.  She was helping me to take the steps to correct the problem.  "Do you think that you did well on the exam?"

            I nodded, "Hope so."

            "I hope so," she corrected, and I repeated her example.  She scribbled my progress in her notebook. 

            "Do you…" I let my voice trail and she waited for me to collect my thoughts.  I was suddenly unsure of what I wanted to say.

            "Go on."

            "Do you know…Ellone?"

            "Ellone?" her eyebrows peaked, and she hesitated.  "Yes, I know of Ellone."

            "Is she a…a…" I had to think, to focus.  "Is she a student?"

            "No," Dr. Kadowaki was gentle, but firm.  "That will be all for today."

            "But…"

            "I'm sure they've posted the test scores by now," se concluded, "Why don't you go check to see if you've made it?"  It wasn't like her to change the subject suddenly, so I assumed that it must have been important. 

            There was a large crowd of students near the second floor classrooms, but I managed to find first Seifer and then Raijin.  Twenty fifteen-year-olds had taken the test the day before, and our posse was part of that group.  Only the top twelve students, regardless of age, were permitted to take the field exam. 

            Seifer's name was third on the list, having scored 97% of the questions correctly.  Frankly, I was impressed.  A smug smile on his face confirmed his pride.  I placed seventh, with a 90%, and Quistis had tailed me with 88% of the right answers.  The last name on the list was surprisingly Raijin's, and he announced his satisfaction loudly to the crowd.  "I made it, ya know!  I made it and I'm gonna be a SeeD!"  He treated Seifer and I to lunch in Balamb purely out of joy.

            "So, what will you do when you get your first paycheck as a SeeD?"  Seifer asked Raijin conversationally.  "Pay off this bill for lunch?"  We shared a good laugh.

            "I think I'll remodel my staff, ya know?  Then buy me my own fishing kit!  A real nice one, ya know?  What about you?"

            Seifer took a long swig of his drink and smiled.  "I'm gonna take a trip."  He raised his glass, "With my posse of course.  To Deling City or Timber, or some place interesting like that.  I'd like to see Galbadia."

            "I heard," I spoke up, "That the test…" I visualized the sentence, speaking slowly, "Is being held somewhere in Galbadia."

            "Right you are, dear Fujin," Seifer chimed in.  "I heard Kramer himself conversing with Instructor Black.  Sounded to me like we're headed to a desert prison." 

            "Prison?" I asked.

            "Sounds creepy, ya know?"  Raijin smiled. 

            "It sounds exciting, if you ask me," Seifer sneered.  "It's a real fighter's mission: Not for chicken Wusses, like Dincht or Leonhart."

            "Squall's not old enough, ya know?"

            "Yeah, I know," he snapped, in one of his more cynical moments.  "We've got to prove ourselves to them.  If we don't pass, they'll jump all over us." 

            He didn't need to say it; we all know that it was the truth.  People looked for weaknesses in others, and our posse was a prime group of misfits. 

~*~

            Instructor Black's shadow was long and thin as the sun struck his shoulders from behind.  Quistis and I were the first SeeDs to arrive, and waited impatiently for the others.  It was blisteringly hot, despite the fact that it was early morning.  Soon enough, Raijin, Seifer, and the other seeds arrived, one by one.  It was odd to see all of us (even Seifer) in our Garden uniforms.  We looked professional.  I wondered how many of us would don a SeeD uniform for that night's ball. 

            Black announced the Squads and their leaders.  Oddly enough, I was assigned to Squad C, with Quistis, and Seifer as our leader.  I wondered why they had put three of the five fifteen year olds together.  Raijin was on Squad A, by himself, with two older candidates. 

            After a pep talk from Headmaster Cid, we departed by way of Garden cars to Balamb, where we boarded a train to Galbadia.  Xu was on board to brief us.  Each team would be assigned to a particular tower, which would need to be cleared of monsters.  "A Balamb SeeD team is being held prisoner in one of the top floors," Xu explained.  "Your teams are to support the SeeDs going in to rescue them."

            It was a long trip.  After crossing the ocean and arriving in Dollet, a city that was mythical to me, even as I watched it through the window, we continued on to Timber before the train made it's way to the Galbadian Desert.  A few students fell asleep, including Seifer, who's head rolled lifelessly to the side to rest on my own.  I tapped my boots impatiently on the floor.  Across from me, Quistis examined her flawlessly manicured nails. 

            We got off of the train a ways away from the desert, so that it would be more difficult for the prison guards to spot us as we got off of the train.  There, our parties separated, and as I watched him go, I gave Raijin a good luck salute. 

            "I hope you're not too worried about your hygiene, Trepe," Seifer smirked as he led us around the outskirts of the desert, towards the eastern most tower.  "This is gonna be a messy, sweaty, bloody mission."  Quistis merely rolled her eyes with sufficient irritation.  I followed silently. 

            By the time we had reached the prison, my face was dripping with sweat and my skin was burning.  How Seifer was able to keep trudging along effortlessly in his trench coat, I couldn't figure out.  Even Quistis looked weary of our journey.  It was nearly an hour and a half before we reached the tower, the second group to arrive. 

            We were to wait for a signal from one of the SeeDs, but Seifer was antsy.  "If we just go now, they'll never suspect it," He commented.

            "If we go now, it will give the guards a chance to figure out that the others are coming through the other towers!" Quistis sounded almost whiney, her usually bossy tone wearing thin.  "We must wait for the signal!"

            Seifer shrugged, swishing his gunblade through the air effortlessly.  "Where's the glory in that?  Heroes don't need signals."

            "We're not doing this to be heroes, Seifer," she snapped back, her clenched fists angrily on her hips.  "We're doing this to rescue three innocent SeeDs that are trapped inside!  They might be getting tortured!"

            "It's their own fault, then, for getting caught," I could tell he was getting angry.  "Besides, the sooner we go in there, the sooner we get them out."

            "Fine then," huffy Quistis threw her whip down in the sand.  "You go on ahead, but I'm waiting right here."

            "QUISTIS!" I butted in for the first time.

            "What?!" she snapped back, more heated than I had ever seen her.  "What, Fujin?"

            "If you…disobey squad leader's commands…"

            "You lose points," Seifer picked up.  "I thought you wanted to be a SeeD!  You're a coward."

            He was really starting to get to her, and I couldn't tell if it was the high temperature, her rage, or a mixture of both that was making her normally pale face so red.  "Fine!" she snapped, finally, "Get us all killed!"

            Seifer stalked away, finding the hatch door, yanking it open, and crawling into the prison's lowest floor.  I looked sympathetically at Quistis for a moment.  "SORRY!" I exclaimed, but she chose not to acknowledge me.  I followed Seifer, and, though not without a sigh of irritation, so did Quistis. 

~*~

            The mission was hectic.  Fortunately the other teams had entered the building almost simultaneously with Seifer's decision.  We were to move silently to the top of the tower, where the hostage SeeDs were supposedly being held.  We made it to the tenth floor before the red lights flashed and the metallic announcement was made.

            "A prisoner has escaped, all guards on alert.  Monsters will be released on all floors."  That was our cue to retreat: someone had freed the prisoners before us.  We flew down the flights of stairs like rockets on fire.

            We fought our way through Galbadian soldiers and large, metallic robots.  Quistis balked at the first man she downed, but a thud on the back from Seifer snapped her out of the short trance.  "Let's go!" he yelled.  As we reached the fourth floor, we heard a voice from above. 

            "Seifer!  Fujin!  Come back up ya know!  Emergency!"  Raijin's frantic voice reached us.  Pounding back up the steps as a desperate heartbeat pumps blood, we ran.  At the top of the tower, we found that the guards had somehow screwed each pillar into the ground.  In a leap of faith, each team dove from the towers, and as we hit the sand, we continued to run.

            There were only a few difficult encounters after that, and most were easily taken care of.  Seifer bragged most of the way home.

            But while his confidence was on the right level, only five students were named SeeDs.  Seifer wasn't one of them.

~*~

            Positioned apart from the colorful guests and official SeeDs, I fidgeted nervously with my translucent hands, which had turned a miserable shade of red from the desert sun, and ached terribly.  Despite my fresh, new uniform, I felt awkward, unable to escape my accentuated eye patch and platinum locks.  Raijin was proud and tall beside me, but even he was uneasy.  Seifer was nowhere to be seen. 

            The posse was broken.

            Classical music set a drunken, dreamlike tone to the scene, and one by one students and SeeDs alike were swept into the dance.  Soon, I stood by myself, lonely and itchy in my SeeD uniform.  It wasn't difficult to slip out the back door. 

            I stepped into my dorm, expecting it to be empty, but was surprised to find Quistis inside.  "Why aren't you…at the banquet?" I wondered aloud, pausing when it was necessary to collect my thoughts.

            "I'm packing," she exclaimed, stuffing a bundle of clothes into a bag, "We get single dorms now, Fujin!  We can move in when we're ready."

            Her cheeks were flushed and rosy, and her eyes glittered like the sun strikes the ocean.  "You're really," I scanned my mental dictionary, "excited."

            She nodded, never ceasing in her work.  "I knew I'd make it, I just knew it!  And guess what!" she zipped her duffle bag closed and turned to face me, a wide grin covering most of her face.  "Squall congratulated me!"

            "Squall…Leonhart?" I confirmed, vaguely confused.

            Her smile widened and she clutched my arm.  "Isn't it exciting!"  But she didn't wait for an answer as she grabbed her bag and practically danced out, leaving me to stare open-mouthed after her. 

            After I changed out of the uniform, I slipped into the halls.  Quistis had disappeared, and the rest of the corridor was empty.  My boot steps echoed as I made my way to the library, in hopes of a good novel to indulge in. 

            He looked lonely, his shoulders slumped and his head hanging like a defeated shoulder.  "Seifer?" my voice cracked when I spoke.

            "What are you doing here?" he snapped, "Shouldn't you be celebrating?"

            I opted to say nothing, and seated myself in one of the library's wooden chairs across from him.  "I should've made it," he scoffed.  "Do you know what that bastard Kramer told me?  He said I acted inappropriately."

            "Didn't follow orders," I whispered, timidly.

            "That's bullshit!" his eyes suddenly found mine, and my heart was racing.  "That's bullshit, and you know it, Fujin!  We couldn't just wait around there forever."

            There was a long, uncomfortable silence that hung between us like death.

            "I'm sorry," he finally muttered, so quiet that I could hardly hear him.  "I didn't even congratulate you.  You made it, and Raijin made it.  I should be proud of you guys."  But I could tell that he wasn't.  He was too busy being disappointed with himself.  I let the silence continue, fidgeting with my sunburned hands and watching him closely as he stared lifelessly at the ground.  It seemed like ages before he spoke again.  "Hey, Fuu…" he brought his head sheepishly up so that I could see his watery blue eyes again.  "Have you, you know…" he seemed to be considering what he was about to ask.  "Have you ever fought a T-Rexaur since… since the accident?"

            I held his gaze, my heart stuttering and my stomach fluttering.  "No," I answered, my voice quivering.

            The trademark smirk emerged, and he cocked his head to one side.  "Ready to face your fear?"

~*~

            By the time Seifer escorted me back to my room we were both laughing.  With the fifth Rexaur's blood still staining our hands, we tumbled into my room like rambunctious children.  "Shit, where'd all your stuff go?" Seifer raised his eyebrows.

            I took my first good look at the room, then.  It was empty.  I noticed a piece of paper laying by its lonesome on the night table, and moved to pick it up with my bloody fingertips.

            Fujin,

                  It's been great rooming with you.  I moved your stuff into your new dorm as one last favor.  It's at the end of the hall on the left, number 317.  See you around.

                              Quistis

            "Well," Seifer's voice was back to biting, "The little priss has a heart.  That will probably be the last time you hear from her, better keep that paper."  I rolled my eye, ignoring him, then folded up the paper and slipped it in my pocket.  When I started for the bathroom, he was quick to ask, "Where are you going?"

            I held up my bloody hands, "WASH."

            He chuckled softly, "I think you should leave it on, it's sexy."

            "LIE," I snapped, stepping into the bathroom, but it wasn't the cold water that gave me chills.  Seifer soon joined me, washing his hands, bumping his shoulder against mine. 

            As I started for the door, my hand on the knob, his curious voice once again kissed my ear.  "Where are you going?"

            "NEW DORM," I barked, louder than I had meant.

            "Fujin?" he asked, and I turned to stare at and admire his face.  "Come here."

            The simple command sent another wave of chills over me as I inched closer.  "I am proud of you, you know." He patted my shoulder, reassuringly.  "Don't you doubt it," I could feel his breath on my cheek, and I was shaking.  He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead.  "You're my best friend."

            I wasn't sure if my heart danced or broke in that moment. 

[End Chapter Eleven]

Authoress's note:  I'm sorry that one took me so long to get out.  Japan was great, but then I was rushed into finals and graduation and all of that fun stuff.  So what do you think?  Love it? Hate it? 

Again, special thank you's to everyone who reviewed, especially those who reviewed the last chapter:  Chaotic Angel, Al Kristopher, Lonely-angel, Sorceress Fujin, Ametenshi, Tikiru, and Vick330!  Thank you for officially making this story my fanfic with the most reviews!