-1As he settled himself behind the table near the door at the Anchor pub, Goren couldn't help feeling nervous. It was ten minutes to five. He'd ordered a sandwich and a half pint, this being the deal on offer at the bar, and wanting to be sure he could keep the table for a while. Although the Anchor was busy, it was also spacious; it would be a good place for the two of them to talk in private.

He'd spent the day at the British Library, peacefully killing time amid the collected tomes and archives of several centuries, whilst Eames went off with Tanya to spend a couple of hours training at the London police academy, then go sightseeing and shipping. Feeling that they ought to be helpful, they'd dropped a copy of Elahi's last jottings on to DS Hood, along with the results of their conversation with Upton.

Hood had thanked them, and confided that frankly everyone had bigger things on their mind that whether Towells Construction's supplier was ripping them off. "So long as the bloody roof is up, I don't care whether Towells goes down the drain tomorrow," had been his exact words, although he had said that he would try to get someone to look into it if there was anyone who could be spared from their security duties for the match the following day. In any case, the evidence they'd gathered from Jane Collins put Mikhail Andropov squarely in the frame for murdering the Elahis, and that concluded their official task in London. Having contacted Deakins to confirm as much, they were free to see a few of the sights before returning home.

They had got tickets for the match tomorrow. Ironically enough, they had been Davenport's. He and his partner Michael had decided not to go, probably because he and Tanya were no longer speaking to each other (Goren had overheard her yelling at Davenport outside the house the preceding evening that if he showed his face near her any time soon, he'd be very sorry indeed). He and Eames had agonised over whether to accept them, then decided to do so after he'd haltingly explained to Eames about wanting to see Sienna, and she'd agreed to attend, saying "Well, it will be an experience."

Lost in his thoughts, he barely registered it at first, then looked up to see Sienna sliding gracefully into the seat opposite him, clutching what looked like a vodka and coke.

"Hello, Bobby."

"Uh… hi." He gathered himself. "You look great."

She smiled, that familiar smile he'd missed so much. "You too." He had made an effort; black shoes, neatly pressed tan pants, black short-sleeved shirt and a fresh shave at the hotel before coming here. They paused, and sized each other up.

Sienna looked cool and calm; simple sleeveless white cotton blouse, long flowing ruffled black skirt, sandals, light make-up and neat earrings. He saw with a pang that they were the silver earrings she'd worn for their little tryst in the bathroom at One Police Plaza, three years ago now. She was still as strikingly attractive as ever, he thought, and felt the old desire for her stir strongly. Her new self-assurance and the weight she'd lost had only added to her appeal. I only wish I could be confident that I still look the same to her. He was only too aware that since they last saw each other, he'd gone greyer and put on weight.

"Before we start, can I ask one thing?"

"Okay."

"Let's not talk about Drew. I don't even want to mention him right now." She shook her head. "Bobby… I'm really sorry about that, but he has a point. I chose to listen to what he was saying. It was me, and me alone. Let's just forget him for now. We need to think about us."

"Okay."

She looked down at her drink, then up at him. "Bobby, I want to apologise. For what I said to you on the roof."

"No, it's okay. I can see… why you would think that about me. I should apologise to you for making you feel that way." This was not easy, but it had to be done. He sensed that she was feeling the same way, and suddenly realised that the connection between them, the knowledge of each other's feelings that they'd shared in the early stages of their relationship, seemed to be coming back to them. He felt that she was thinking the same thing he was; that this wasn't going to be easy, but they both needed to be rational and honest if they were going to get anywhere. Even though the only place we can go is to part as good friends, he thought sadly.

"You don't need to. I did understand something of why you found it so difficult to talk about. I just didn't know how to get through to you."

He cocked his head on one side. She smiled again, that patient, almost enigmatic smile she always used when he was trying to figure out something about her, tell me when you get there, Bobby, and I'll tell you if you got it right. "You've changed so much," he said, suddenly.

"Yes. The last two years have been a wild ride."

He shook his head, thoughtfully. "Yeah… I guess for me it's been same old, same old. You seem to have…"

"Grown up?"

"Well…"

"I have, I guess. It's okay, Bobby. I was pretty young when we met."

He leaned across, suddenly intense, wanting to make her understand. "I always saw you as an adult woman, Sienna, my equal… why did you change your name, by the way?" Oops, gone off at a tangent.

"That's good to know… and, it started when my parents came to visit. Drew and Tanya started calling me SiSi – it was my pet-name as a child – and it just stuck. Besides, it stops me getting mistaken for that stupid woman who keeps breaking up with Jude Law. Anyway, you were telling me how I'm all grown up." She grinned, a familiar mischievous grin that she'd always worn when she was teasing him.

He sighed heavily. I have to say it now, don't I? "Sienna… that's the problem."

"What's the problem? Spell it out."

He spread his hands. "You're an adult woman. I always got the impression that this wasn't just a quick relationship for you. You didn't just want to have a nice few months and move on to the next man, you wanted us to marry eventually, have a family."

"That was a correct impression. I did. Not straight away… I never thought this would last at first. But it did. And I found myself thinking, I love him, he loves me. There's not that big of an age gap between us, not in this day and age. We were great friends, we had things in common, we loved each other, and the sex was… well, for me it was the best I've ever had." Me too, he thought, with a rush of memory, and tried not to be distracted as she finished her sentence, saying, "So why shouldn't we make each other happy?"

He felt as though every word was being dragged out of him. "You know why not."

"You were worried you'd turn into your father?" That surprised him. She smiled wryly. "Alex Eames knows you very well, Bobby… I'm afraid I got her drunk and pumped her for information."

He gave her a shocked look. She smiled rather apologetically. "I get that, but you know, you've got better control over yourself than most men. If anything I always got the impression that was why you had such control over yourself – you never wanted to turn into him. I always trusted you, and believe me, I'm not a stranger to men with wandering eyes. The man I dated before you was like that. You weren't, and I would have been willing to trust that you wouldn't have gone that way."

She really did know me better than I thought, didn't she? Sienna continued, speaking carefully and deliberately. "Bobby, I could be wrong – I'm no expert in these matters – but, if you don't mind me asking, I'm right in thinking you've gone your whole life without having any signs of schizophrenia or any other mental illness?"

She had done her research, he thought with some surprise. There were other similar illnesses on the same spectrum. He nodded, wanting to see where she was going with this.

"You're surely too old now for it to be realistically likely that you'll develop it yourself."

He sighed. "Yes. That's right. But that's not the problem, it never was."

"It's the genetic element, isn't it? You feared that…"

"That I'd give it to my kids. Your kids. Our kids. You wanted children eventually, I could tell, and I couldn't do that, it would have destroyed both of us." It would kill me.

"Oh Bobby…" Sienna was shaking her head, and he realised with despair that this was it. She was going to get up and leave him and there was nothing he could do. It would be the same with any woman. He could never have what so many other men took for granted.

She leaned across and took his hand, bending down until she reached his gaze, then tipping her head back slightly so that their heads were at the same height. "Bobby… I knew that. I thought about it for ages. I was going to tell you what I decided the same night I told you I'd been offered the job in London…"

He felt his heart leapt with a sudden strange hope. There was no rational reason for it, but suddenly he wanted desperately to know what she was going to say next…

"Little SiSi!"

Sienna's face briefly showed an expression that suggested she was thinking an unrepeatable phrase, then she smiled briefly and rose to her feet. "Uncle Peter! Hi! Great to see you!" She hugged the newcomer, a short man in his late fifties with dark brown hair, an expensive suit and a beaming smile. "Uncle Peter, this is my friend, Bobby Goren." The two men shook hands.

"SiSi, it's so good to see you, I've had the most godawful boring day. Now come on. We've got to have dinner together, I've booked a table for half past six. We need to discuss tomorrow, then you must show me the sights of London."

Sienna smiled at her uncle with a mixture of happiness and exasperation. "Of course, Uncle. Just give us a few minutes." Her uncle went off to buy a drink, and she looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Sorry, Bobby. Things aren't going our way right now, huh?"

"I have tickets for the match."

Her face lit up. "Great. I'll see you there. We'll meet at half time. I want… I want to finish this properly, Bobby." Before he could move, she leaned across and briefly touched her lips to his. He caught a whiff of her familiar perfume, her scent. He couldn't help reacting, kissing her back, and the kiss lingered longer than either of them had intended. She pulled away, looking a little dazed.

"Bobby, I have to go. But we've got each other's cellphone numbers – have you still got the secure cellphone Drew gave you? Keep that and use it. I will see you there." She looked as though she wanted to say more, but instead she waved regretfully, joined her uncle and gracefully swept out of the bar, leaving him with his thoughts in turmoil.

He knew he shouldn't allow himself to feel it, but inside his mind, for the first time in two years, a small seed of hope was starting to grow.