Disclaimer: I didn't write Harry Potter series or anything affiliated with it.

Chapter 2 : At work

A very large figure from the corner of a cluttered workshop stirred out of sleep with a rather unflattering belch.

The beast had awoken.

The blast of sound had aroused the attention of a rickety old man who clambered over from the bathroom, having forgotten to flush it - or indeed wash his hands. The combination of the bathroom stench and the decay emanating from the large figure in the corner resulted in the shop having a rather fragrant disposition.

"Ey!" the oldy roared at the large thing with a surprisingly loud voice for a grampa, "Gerrup ya pile o' lard!"

The figure turned its flabby head toward the old man slowly and fished a sweet wrapper out of its matted brown hair.

"DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" she roared.

The old man was slightly bowled over by the enormity of this brute's presence but he was after all her employer so he attempted to set some authority.

"I'm yer boss!" he whined, "'Ave some respect, you tub!"

In answer Mrs Hermione Weasley simply let out a rather offensive smelling bout of gas from her backside, which didn't help with the shop's current stink.

"Well I never!" the old man gasped, "And what exactly have you been doing all day Mrs Weasley?"

The fat woman in the seat that was about to cave under her vast weight pressed her eyes so close together she was squinting at him.

"I'VE JUST BEEN SAT ON ME FAT ARSE ALL DAY!" she bellowed, with a pressure that finally broke the seat.

The resounding crash was phenomenal – the entire shop's walls shook, the old man fell on his bottom and people outside stopped in their tracks as they too shuddered slightly.

"Oh my!" the old man exclaimed "How in Lord Abaddon's name did you get so fat?"

This was a question that was not worth asking, nay not even worth thinking of – nonetheless the man was apparently looking for an early grave. Not too early, in his case.

Hermione lay down on her back and proceeded to roll herself over in the direction of the old man. It was fantastic! People from outside the shop could see what looked like a gigantic bowling ball steadily accelerating in the direction of the spindly man.

The old man had no hope.

SPLAT!

The fat Hermione laughed raucously, which changed quickly to a cough of exertion.

"H-how did you get so FAT?" the old man repeated.

This time however Mrs Weasley began a theatrical display by firstly closing in her limbs close to her body in an attempt to make a foetal position although it was so difficult with all that fat – and then spread out like an angel.

"I EAT MEAT!" she roared in a fake East European accent.

And that was that.

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