-1They sat in silence for some time, breathing together in the darkness, then Sienna remarked thoughtfully, "We've got to stop doing this."

"Hmm?"

"Getting involved in rescue operations that go horribly wrong and end up with one or both of us getting injured."

"I agree… ow."

"Are you hurt?"

"My back's sore. Don't know if it's serious."

"You want me to have a look?"

"I'd rather you didn't, if you don't mind - if I take this armour off I might not be able to put it back on again."

"Bobby?"

"Yes?"

"Getting back to what we discussed in the pub… can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"That night when I told you I'd been offered the post in London… did you ever wonder what I was going to tell you?"

"I'm sorry?"

"There were two things I wanted to tell you. One was about the job. I never got round to telling you the other."

"Honestly? I did wonder, but decided you'd thought better of whatever the second one was."

"Ah."

"That was a very… thoughtful-sounding… 'ah'."

"Hmm yes. Well, you're not far wrong."

"Sienna… is this the best time?" He desperately wanted to continue their conversation from yesterday, but not when they were both desperately tired and hurt.

"No, but it looks like it's the time we've been given, and we need to say this. Bobby… you should know that when I applied for that job, I wanted some breathing space, and I needed the promotion, but I never, ever, wanted to leave you. The only reason I let and lost contact with you is because when I told you, you looked so relieved that I was going that I thought you must have wanted to end the relationship for a long time."

"That's…. not true."

"What did you want?"

"Well, I thought that you wanted to leave, and that given the problems we were facing, that was probably for the best."

"You know, Bobby, it seems to me that I should apologise to you."

"No. You don't need to."

"But I do, because I was cruel to you. I realised afterwards… it must have seemed to you that I was offering you everything you wanted, but in such a way that you'd have to turn it down."

"I don't follow."

"Let me say it plainly. I love you, Bobby. I wanted to marry you and have children, and if I'm being honest, I still do. When I was with you, I found myself dreaming about what our children would look like, whether they would have your height, or my hair… I was pretty sure they'd be smart. Until I met you, I never really thought about having children, but I found myself thinking that I could see myself raising a family with you. Then I realised. You could never be happy if you had children of your own, could you? You'd spend their entire childhood watching them anxiously to see if they were developing schizophrenia."

"I didn't know… that you'd realised that. Yes, that's true. I couldn't bear to think that I'd done that to you or our children. Better that you found someone else."

"That was my decision to make, not yours."

"If you felt that strongly, why didn't you tell me?"

"Yes. That was a mistake. I should have told you, but… you looked so relieved to be rid of me, I couldn't find the strength. I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who should be sorry."

"No. You're the one who should let me finish saying what I should have said two years ago. I dreamed about having children with you, Bobby. But what I wanted, what I would have given anything to have, is to spend my life with you and to have my children know you as their father. I love you. If that means IVF, or adopting, or whatever, I would do that for you."

Oh God. She had just offered him what he had no right to expect. He forced himself not to feel the wild hope and joy that leapt inside him, to stay calm. "You can do better than me. I'm fourteen years older than you, and frankly, it's beginning to show. I can't ask you to give up your chance to meet someone of your own age who you could have children with."

Sienna's voice was calm and loving. "Quite right. You can't ask. But I can freely offer. I love you. I want my

children to grow up in a family with two parents who love each other, and with a father they can respect, just like I had. I can think of no better man for that than you. As for the age thing… We like to think, when we marry, that we'll be together forever, but one partner is nearly always left alone at the end. I don't care about the age thing, Bobby, you're still a relatively young man and neither of us can predict the future. I'm not going to sacrifice the chance to spend what might well be my entire life with the man I love because of some vague worry about the future that might not come true anyway. Bobby? Are you still there?"

"Yes… I'm here. I need to think about this."

"I understand that. But please, don't take too long. I know you're going back to New York soon, and, I know it's selfish, but I want to know what you want to do."

"I won't take long. Just so that you know… I was relieved because I thought you'd made a decision about what was best for you. I never wanted you to go. The only reason I didn't come with you to the airport was because I didn't trust myself not to ask you not to go."

"Oh, Bobby. Why did we do this to ourselves?"

"Because being human involves screwing up on a regular basis. I'll think about it – I promise."

She seemed to sense the reason behind his hesitation, why he wasn't simply saying Hell, yes! in reply.

"Bobby, when you think about this, don't think about anything but what's best for you. I have already thought about what's best for me, and for me that would be for us to try again, see if we can make it, and if so, we'll have children in whatever way we can. So long as I raise them with you I don't care. Now, if you decide that that's not what you want for your life, for whatever reason, I love you and I'll respect that, but don't even dare to think that you can know what's best for me. I know what's best for me, and it's that – if you want it too."

For once, he was speechless. As the rescuers pulled the scaffolding off them, as he and Sienna were taken away to a nearby hospital to be seen and stitched up, he barely felt a thing. All he could think of was her, and the sudden hope she had given him.