-1The next hour passed in a whirl. After an extremely quick shower (on the roof of all places; Jack had taken the downstairs shower and Tanya, Eames and Sienna were using the first floor bathroom to freshen up) and a quick change of clothes (fortunately he'd forgotten to pick all of his clothes up from when they visited earlier, and Tanya and Sienna had clothes that would fit Eames), he found himself pressed into service in the kitchen by Duncan Ampirelli, who turned out to be a pub cook as well as a maintenance man.

Apparently Davenport's partner Michael Jones had also been supposed to help out, but he was still keeping vigil by Davenport's side, so Goren volunteered his services as assistant chef and was promptly sucked into the kitchen to help out, whilst Eames was making herself extremely popular by pouring and handing out large glasses of wine.

Tanya had rushed past him on his way down the stairs, clad for once in a long silk dress, not T-shirt and shorts. At first he hadn't recognised her, then realised she was wearing a wig. She paused briefly beside him to peer into a mirror in the hallway and adjust her makeup, carefully blending it to hide the bruises. She caught his look of surprise and grinned.

"I like to have hair for formal occasions. If anyone asks, we got caught up in the stadium events and didn't get let out of hospital until today, okay?" she'd informed him, rather unnecessarily, and run down the stairs to play hostess before he could answer.

Tanya's guests were a mixture of friends of herself and Jack; friends from university for him, friends from her Army days and the police for her. He and Eames did their best to mingle, or rather Eames did; he was too busy helping Jack and Amp in the kitchen. As he emerged to announce that the food would be ready in about fifteen minutes (to enthusiastic cheers), he couldn't help but notice that one person was missing…

"I won't be a minute," he informed Tanya, who seemed to guess where he was going. Guided by instinct, he padded softly upstairs and out into the warm night. As he'd suspected she might be, Sienna was leaning on the wall, staring blindly out at the view. As he gently laid a hand on her shoulder and she turned round, he saw that her eyes were wet with tears.

There was only one possible response for a caring human being to make, and he made it, gathering Sienna gently into his arms and holding her close as she sobbed on his shoulder. She said no words, but he sensed that she was crying for many things; for the strain of the past few days, the bottled-up pain she'd felt in the course of her work, for herself and for him, apart for two years, and perhaps even for Davenport, still seriously injured and lying in hospital under police guard.

Oddly, Goren found that he himself no longer felt much anger towards the spy. What would be the point? he thought. Whatever his faults, Davenport had struggled on and on, trying to do his job when many others would simply have quit and let Mulligan take the blame for the consequences of not investigating thoroughly enough. He shrugged, and held Sienna tighter. Davenport was unfinished business, business for another day, and he would let Sienna, who had been the man's friend and been far worse betrayed than he had, decide what she wanted to do. In the end, though, he had to acknowledge the truth of one thing the spy had said; it had always been about what was between himself and Sienna, and what they had decided and would decide.

In the present, Sienna cried in his arms for ten minutes, and at the end it was impossible to say who was holding who, who was reassuring who, because tears were silently falling from his eyes too. Beneath them, music was drifting out of the windows: "So hang on to what you've got, keep me safe. Hang on to what you've got, keep me safe from harm…"

She gently pulled away from him, and murmured: "We need to go back down now."

He wiped his own eyes. Suddenly, he felt he needed to ask her something that had been preying on his mind. "Sienna… if you and I… tried to make another go of it… wouldn't you miss all this? It seems unfair that you should leave everything behind."

She sighed, and looked out over the city, shimmering softly in the evening light. "I spent a lot of time thinking about that on Friday. The answer is, yes, I would, but then my life would be about to change anyway. Tanya and Jack are going to start a family. Drew and Michael are planning to have a civil partnership ceremony as soon as the new law comes into effect." She shrugged her shoulders. "It's been a great two years, but the four of us wouldn't be able to hang around together for much longer. People's lives change. Oh, and I spoke to Tim Whitefield."

"Wouldn't it be a demotion if you went back to your old job with him?" She seemed to have anticipated his other worry, and he wanted anxiously to know what her answer to it would be.

"We agreed that if I don't extend my contract here, I can return to a new post commensurate with my new experience – higher pay and responsibility. Plus – " she grinned wickedly "- he told me in confidence he's planning to retire in five years. Something to aim for."

She turned to face him. "I had a great life in New York before, Bobby. I could have one again. Or, I could continue my life here. You can always make more friends, wherever you are." She was calm, but he could sense the underlying tension. I'm holding her heart in my hands, he realised. And because of that, he wanted to make the right decision for both of them.

"Sienna… I just need a little more time to think."

She smiled, and mopped her eyes again, checking her mascara with a small mirror. "Okay. I'll see you downstairs." She left, and he looked out over the city.

He could take longer to think about it, he knew. But in many ways it was a simple question. Did he want to rekindle his relationship with Sienna or not?

What were the pros and cons? he thought. Leaving aside the fact that right now he would very much like to get back into bed with her as soon as humanly possible…

It would be helpful if he could discuss it with a friend, he thought, but Eames was busy downstairs, so he used an old trick he'd learned once when he had to make decisions alone as an Army Intelligence officer, imagining the presence of a friend whose opinion he would trust, and trying to imagine what they would say. In his mind's eye, he pictured his old friend, the retired pathologist, Dr Fritz Hoffman.

So, then. What should I do, Herr Hoffman?

In his head, the ghost-Hoffman spoke in a friendly tone. Well, you have two options. One is to have your life continue as it is, and decide you don't want to take the risk of restarting the relationship and possibly hurting her again. That is a safe option, and in choosing it, you don't risk the possibility of a painful break-up that comes with any relationship. You go through the rest of life like that, and you will have to live with that decision. She will probably find someone and have children with that person.

The other option, Bobby, is to take Sienna's offer, and try again. That's a risky option. You risk pain and your life will change irrevocably. even more so if the two of you do decide to have children in the future – difficult to do that and still be the lead detective for Major Case, but then there are others now who can take on that mantle, share the burden… but over and above that, you might, just might, if the two of you work at it hard enough, create what you've always wanted, Bobby. Your own family.

My family. He thought about that. About having not only Sienna in his life, but children. If she had gotten pregnant whilst we were apart, could I love her children? he asked himself, and knew that yes, he could.

They would have to have some kind of fertility treatment; there was no way, sadly, that he himself could be the father, no matter how much they might both wish for it. But even so, to raise Sienna's children. His children, because they would know him as their father, and love him, and he would love them back and worry desperately about turning into his father, until Sienna reminded him that they were not doomed to repeat the mistakes of their parents, and had free will for a reason…

It'll be hard, won't it? he thought back in reply.

Yes. Since when have you ever been afraid of hard work?

Since never. She and I made each other so happy at first. I want that. I deserve that. So does she.

Sounds like you've made your decision, the ghost-Hoffman murmured gently, and smiled.

I think I made it before I ever started this conversation.

"Bobby? FOOD!" Eames' voice shouted up the stairs, and he rejoined the party. As he padded down the stairs, the song echoed in his ears: "Come back to what you know, take everything real slow. I tried to lose you, but I just can't let you go…"

Author's Note: The song playing here is "Come Back to What You Know" by Embrace, album is "The Good Will Out". (The album's title track would also make an excellent soundtrack to this chapter.)