Chapter Ten
At his remark, Carter 2 slugged him in the stomach. Carter 1 cringed, but Jack couldn't be sure whether it was over his words or that fact that her other half had just physically assaulted her CO. Hammond looked back and forth between the two women several times before his eyes settled on Jack.
"What in God's name happened?"
Jack just kept grinning, figuring Hammond was too busy trying to understand to actually listen. "God finally got around to answering some prayers, sir?"
"Sir!" If Carter 1's yelp didn't reveal how mortified she was, the fact that she hid her face in her hands did.
Hammond took a wary step back from the group, obviously fearing they were all imposters. "Sergeant Harriman, I need some SFs in here now!"
Jack took a step forward. "Sir, that's not necessary." He was treading on thin ice and he had to explain. As best he could. "That humming thing on the planet that Daniel told you about? Well, sir, at first we thought it was a copy machine because, well-" He motioned at the Carters. "But it turns out that it actually somehow split her in two."
"What are you saying, Jack?"
He nodded at Carter 2. "There's a nice one and-" He nodded at Carter 1. "A mean one, sir."
Hammond didn't look any less confused. "What?"
"They're both Major Carter, sir."
Carter 1 cleared her throat, stepping forward next to Jack and glaring at him over the mean one remark. "Actually, sir, what the colonel meant to say is that I'm Major Carter." She smiled politely, hoping that Hammond would instinctively trust her.
Hammond looked alarmed once again, stepping back further to allow the SFs access to the group. "If she's Major Carter, who is she?" He pointed at Carter 2, who was, quite blatantly smiling at one of the SFs, who was, quite blatantly grinning back like an idiot.
Carter 2 turned to face Hammond once she noticed Jack's almost imperceptible jealous glance. "I'm Sam."
Hammond didn't appear at all comforted. "Colonel, your team, including both of them, is to report to the infirmary immediately." He faced the SFs. "You will escort them to the infirmary. From there, take them to isolation quarters, where they will remain until I've had a chance to discuss the matter with Dr. Fraiser."
Jack nodded unhappily. There was nothing like an extra teammate to merit several needles in the ass from someone who took her frustration over being short out on others relative to their height. He could already anticipate not being able to sit comfortably for several days and his butt twitched in apprehension. "Yes, sir."
Carter 1 narrowed her eyes at Carter 2. "This is all your fault."
Carter 2 looked dismayed. "Who taught you to be so mean?" As far as Carter 2 was concerned, they had the same history.
Carter 1 glared at her. "The Air Force Academy. Where were you?"
Carter 2 smirked as a dreamy expression passed over her face. "Oh, I was busy flirting with Tommy McCade."
Carter 1's cheeks flushed red. "Tommy McCade was an instructor! He was thirty!"
"So?" Carter 2 was still smiling at the memory. "He didn't mind."
Carter 1 shook her head, her eyes darting to Jack for a second. "What is it with you and older men?"
Carter 2 fixed Carter 1 with a stare that Jack recognized - she was going in for the kill. "It's not all older men - just the authority figures."
Jack was as horrified as Carter 1. Such a statement would have been bad enough with only Daniel and Teal'c to overhear. With such a large audience as the group of SFs escorting them - especially considering the way several of them were grinning - it was unforgivable. Carter 1 buried her tomato-red face behind her hands and whined. It was such an obvious gesture of defeat that when coupled with the blush that was creeping down her neck, Jack couldn't help but come to the defense of the Carter he knew so well - the professional, military side.
He turned to glare at the smug Carter 2. "Was that absolutely necessary?"
Carter 2 grinned cheekily. "Yes, sir." When she realized he wasn't amused, she tried to suppress the smile. "Maybe not, sir."
"Then maybe you shouldn't say things like that, Carter."
She cocked her head to the side. "I prefer Sam, sir."
Jack rolled his eyes and shook his head. Whether she was trying or not, "Sam" didn't seem to have that military edge that Carter possessed. And Jack had a feeling he wasn't going to be able to force her to change.
Carter 1 let her hands fall back to her sides as they were escorted into a rather cramped elevator. As it was, only the Carters, Jack and three guards fit. The others had to wait. Jack should have known that Carter 1 was not going to be beaten so easily. "Sir, I realize the ultimate goal here is to put us back together, but I really don't see the need for it. I assure you, I possess the qualities and characteristics you've come to expect from Major Carter. I could possibly even be persuaded to loosen up a bit. She, on the other hand, had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. We could just kill her."
Jack, Carter 2, and the guards turned to stare at her. All of them came to realize that she wasn't being mean; she was dead serious. Clearing his throat, Jack promised himself he wasn't going to kill either one of them before they were fixed. "We can't kill her Carter."
"Why not, sir?" Her voice had changed the slightest bit from her normal one - she was whining.
Unfortunately, Jack was stumped - the only thing that sprang to his mind was 'just because' and he doubted that would stop Carter from doing anything.
Luckily, Carter 2 piped up. "Because we're the same person. There's no way of knowing what result tat would have."
Carter 1 shrugged. "I'll take my chances." She looked at jack, who was still stupefied that Carter had suggested such a thing and was mulling over the possible psychological ramifications inherent in the notion that Carter apparently sort of wanted to kill herself. "Sir, let's get rid of her. She's useless."
The timing of Carter's words was impeccable. The elevator doors opened just as she finished speaking. Carter 2, Sam rather, over sensitive as she was, ran right through them. Two of the SFs ran after her, leaving one very nervous young man to guard Jack and Carter. He was acutely aware he couldn't chase both Carter and Jack if they too chose to run. Thankfully for him, Jack and Carter had no interest, for the moment, in escaping.
Jack turned to Carter 1 with a disappointed glare. "Do you have to be so mean to her? Don't you feel anything?"
Carter 1 swallowed hard and held his eyes as she replied in a hoarse whisper after way too long a pause. "Yes."
Jack felt a chill run through him at the intensity of her stare. She was good at hiding it, but he no longer doubted that she felt it. They were the same woman, after all, which meant that somewhere, deep down, they did share their emotions. The longer he stared at her, the more he saw. Her feelings were buried under military protocol like his were, but he knew she was hurting. He'd hurt her just then by immediately defending the other Carter, he could see that, but there was more hurt there too and he had to know.
He knew it was a bad idea the moment it formed, but it didn't stop him. He tuned to the SF who was with them. "Go see what's keeping them, sergeant." When the man hesitated, Jack continued. "We're not going anywhere." The younger man uncertainly marched off after his compatriots.
Jack knew he only had a few moments before either their escorts or the second group would arrive, so he moved quickly. He grabbed Carter's arm and dragged her behind him.
"What are you doing, sir? Where are you taking me?" There was more than a little panic in her voice, as though she was suddenly afraid Jack was going to kill her instead of the other Carter. She kept glancing over her shoulder, making it clear to anyone who might have seen that she was moving against her will.
Jack continued to lead her around the next corner. "Why were you being so hard on her? What's going on, Carter?" He wasn't really expecting an answer; he was just trying to distract her from the fact that she could most certainly kick the crap out of him if she thought about it for a moment - especially since he wouldn't raise a hand against her even to defend himself.
"She told me, sir."
Jack glanced at her as he found what he was looking for. He quickly spun the locks to open the access shaft, shoving Carter into the tiny, dark passage way before she could think to fight. Ok, so he hadn't been looking for the access shaft to the surface in particular; he'd just been aiming for one of the few areas on the base without a camera. Of course, her declaration put a whole different spin on the situation. "She told you what, Carter?"
"Is it true?"
Jack realized in one shining moment of clarity that the reason there were no camera was that there was no light either. He hadn't known she was crying until he heard her choked voice. "No." He had no clue what she was talking about, but he certainly hadn't done anything to hurt her. Not unless she was talking about…
"You didn't kiss her?"
Jack squeezed his eyes closed and bit his lip to keep from crying out. He felt like he'd been sucker punched. Carter 1 had the same feelings as Carter2; therefore, it would follow that Carter 2 had the same calculating mind as Carter 1. They just opted to express themselves differently. "So maybe I was wrong about you being the mean one, huh?"
She was silent for a moment and Jack waited in the silence for her to ask why he'd hidden them away, since he showed no intention of actually attempting to climb the ladder and escape. But, as always, Carter didn't do what he expected. "Sir? Please?"
The vulnerability in her voice reminded him of the raw emotion he'd seen moments earlier which had spurred this ill-planned flight. He moved forward in the cramped area, feeling more than seeing Carter press herself back into the ladder to get away from him. "Please what, Carter?" His mind was entirely somewhere else and it had taken his common sense with it.
"Did you kiss her, sir?" She sounded crushed.
So Jack did the only thing he could think to do to reassure her, which, coincidentally, was exactly what he'd intended when he'd dragged her down the hall. He cupped her face in his hands, surprisingly himself that he didn't accidentally poke her in the eye since he couldn't see a damn thing, and then leaned in to kiss her.
She pulled back before he was able to make contact. "You could just answer me, sir."
Jack groaned in frustration, but didn't move his hands from her face. "She's you, Carter. You're her. What difference does it make?"
"It makes a big difference to me, sir."
He grinned, knowing she couldn't see it, yet somehow expecting that she'd know it anyhow. He leaned forward again, whispering softly to her. "So let me make it up to you."
And that time, she didn't resist.
