Benefits
A/N: Nothing. Just bleh.
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam SEED.
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It was the dead of night. Kira casually strode into his room face exalting nothing but weariness; he ran a careful hand across his eyes, trying to relieve the strain, and managed to settle against his bed. Small skirmishes by day, emotional problems at night - the young coordinator rested his head on a pillow, trying to blur his senses, his consciousness, to that of his internal mind.
But…Insomnia hit him like a pile of bricks as thoughts that wouldn't stay quiet cried in his head. The ache in his heart wouldn't let up…
The stress of battle easily became a constant ever since Heliopolis happened, but it was not easily accepted. Knowing he had a sister became a constant that was not easily accepted. And surprisingly enough, the returning presence of Athrun in his life became a constant, but was not easily accepted as well. Something about his best friend changed and he had a feeling that it was his doing. Troubled, Kira had contemplated on confronting him, but he stalled; Athrun was obviously avoiding him. There was too much tension between them.
Who knows how much a person can change in the course of three years?
He allowed himself a wan smile, "I haven't even held a proper conversation with him since we reunited…"
His eyes trailed towards the battleship's window and he stared out the vast, infinite space speckled with stars.
"Stars…the moon…Athrun…"
Kira felt his heart clench in his chest and he buried his face against the pillow. "God, what's wrong with me?" The grip on the pillow tightened as the frustration mounted.
"I hope you're not trying to suffocate yourself, Kira," came the voice laced with dry humour.
He immediately looked up and his gaze softened. The one person his problems circled upon was standing idly at the doorway and slowly, he watched as Athrun quietly returned the soft sentiments with a smile. "What are you doing up so late?"
"Couldn't sleep." Kira gave him a curious look. "What about you?"
The blue-haired teen walked and sat down gracefully across from him on the other bed before answering plainly, "Couldn't sleep either."
Falling silent, Kira nodded and the pair soon found themselves staring at each other uncomfortably. The older coordinator bit his lower lip and spoke up, "Uhh…How…are you?"
Athrun blinked and spoke nonchalantly, "As well as someone could be in a war, I suppose."
"Ahh…That's good, I think," muttered Kira, head bowed, as he stumbled over a few words.
Again, the room fell silent for awhile until he could make out a distinct sigh from Athrun. "Kira."
He looked up, noting that Athrun wasn't meeting his gaze. "Yes?"
"Why…?" The ex-Zaft pilot licked his dry lips and continued, "Why have you been avoiding me?"
Bewildered, Kira spoke, "But I thought you were avoiding me."
"…?" Athrun met his gaze hesitatingly.
Kira elaborated slowly, "Something's different between…us." Self-consciously, Kira allowed himself the dignity to blush and continued, "After what happened on the battlefield…that day…" He didn't elaborate any further as his hands trembled and clenched the pillow.
"I…" Athrun shook his head. "It was difficult afterwards when I thought that you…died."
"I know." He gave him a soft, nervous smile. "But Athrun, don't you feel it?"
The green-eyed coordinator remained quiet, before speaking, "Of course." Kira's eyes bore into his as Athrun explained, "That was the reason why I came here to find you."
"Even if I was asleep?"
"Probably, though something told me you weren't."
Kira curled his legs beneath him and started, "So."
Athrun broke eye contact and spoke quickly, "You know I care, right?"
The older man nodded, "I-Maybe." He tilted his head and gave a hollow laugh. "I don't know. We tried to kill each other."
Athrun flinched noticeable before whispering, "So much has come between us but here we are, still standing together."
In the semi-darkness, Kira closed his eyes and answered, "It's because we're best friends."
"With a bond."
He paused and agreed, "Yes."
The younger coordinator made a movement and Kira felt Athrun sit on his bed and lean against him; he choked the words out shyly, "Then you should know I care."
"I know you do but how much…?" Kira trailed off. "Isn't this the problem? I don't know how I should act around you. We've changed."
He glanced beside him and spoke nervously, "We've changed and did our feelings…?"
Bashful, he clenched the pillow again, "Maybe. I don't know."
"Well…" Athrun gazed at him, making eye contact.
"We can always…You know," hinted Kira, eyes betraying the various emotions flitting across his mind.
"Like…An experiment?"
Kira nodded, moving closer to Athrun. "Then maybe we'll be at ease again."
Athrun rested his left hand on Kira's right and asked, "May I?"
The older coordinator gave his consent and Athrun gently pushed forward, catching him in a chaste kiss. Souls open, they could feel each other; their feelings formed an intangible aura. Static.
He broke away first, cheeks painted a rosy pink. "Athrun…"
Breathe hitched, Athrun murmured, eyes glazed with admiration, "I love you-"
"I-I know." Kira looked away, calm. "I do too - a lot - but not here. We can't right now not with the war-"
"Kira." The brown-haired man paused and gazed at him uncertainly; Athrun smiled in the soft light, "I understand too."
Kira rested his head on Athrun's shoulder, contemplative. "We're still…?"
Surprised, Athrun spoke, "Of course we're still best friends, though-"
"-I think we still need to accommodate the change factor," spoke Kira as if he read Athrun's mind.
"So we're best friends-" started the younger coordinator.
"-with benefits?" smiled Kira suggestively.
Athrun allowed another smile to cross his lips and he kissed the other on the cheek. "That doesn't sound so bad."
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End
Why does best friend with benefits have such a good ring when applied to these two rascals?
Thank you for your valuable time readers.
Constructive criticism is definitely welcomed.
Spyrit
