Disclaimer - I don't own Gravitation however I do tend to act like I'm in it... notthatthathasanythingtodowithit...
Shuichi Shindou POV
Damn it! I thought as I tried not to limp through the monotone painted corridor. By now other studios on the floor were beginning to empty with employees and musicians retreating down to the first floor refectory for their break. What I really didn't need right now was the strange and confused glances from them. Perhaps I could get out of the rest of today's work if I said that I was ill and that was the reason that I was on the toilet so long. I doubted that K would somehow believe that, but it was worth a try.
I can feel blood seep through the wound, saturating the toilet tissue wrapped around it, with each step that I took. It wouldn't be soon until the denim material of my jeans would be too. I couldn't go in like this! And everyone would just complain and moan at me, saying that we would be there all day or something annoying like I wasn't giving it a hundred percent but its kind of difficult when your world is falling around all around you. Like you felt that life was pointless and so was your very existence. Sure it brought joy and happiness to all of my fans and when I was on stage singing it felt like I was singing with my soul. But no one really understood me. Yes there is more to Shuichi Shindou than this bob of candy floss hair and as fans would and have said 'my extremely fuckable ass'. No one has even come close. Not Yuki, not Hiro, not even my parents. Perhaps it's because I don't want them to see the real me… the one that has only one cure to panic attacks and stress… cutting myself.
I sighed absently stroking the cut. Feeling the pain throb through my thigh. Yes, I was alive! But sometimes I wish that I wasn't.
From here in the corridor I could hear K's threats… I wasn't in the mood for them. I could hear Suguru's pissed off comments… I wasn't in the mood from them either. Or Sakano-san's whirlwinds into the wall. I could hear his banging out here.
A glance into the studio portrayed even more pain, questions… more then likely guns too. Down the corridor and away from the crowed studio was freedom. At least until the end of the day. Escape seemed somewhat of a better option right now even though I had no idea where I would go. I wouldn't go back to Yuki's today. I sighed and took a deep breath as I ran towards the stairs at the back of the building.
Arguments between the band members of Bad Luck always ended up with me trying to find the quickest way out of the building. Usually without the media parked out front 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, noticing.
The stairs led down to the back ally of the building. The entrance that bands used when they were being chased by fan… I would say girls but lately there have been lots of male fans after me too. It's insane! The ally is small and no matter how much NG tried to keep the mini gap between buildings clear it was always getting clogged up with rubbish.
I sighed and stretched feeling a weight lifted off my chest the moment I had stepped outside. Patting down my clothing, I found my wallet and my mobile. My wallet contained enough money for me to get drunk and the removable cover to my phone hides secret razor blades, which were always there, incase of emergences which were frequent occurrences in my life and I always needed my phone with me.
I pulled my hood above my head trying to hide as much as I possibly could of my pink mop of hair so that I wouldn't be recognized and I made my way out onto the busy main road. The day was cloudy and the first drops of April rain were beginning to fall onto the bustling Tokyo population, who mainly had umbrellas and hoods up so I wouldn't look out of place.
I had no where to go. Blood was now beginning to stain my jeans from the strenuous activity of running that I had done before and rain was now soaking me to the bone since my jacket wasn't even water proof I had left that one along with my bag and first aide kit in the studio.
Dammit! I cursed and purposefully walked into a lamp post… No one noticed. Not even an 'are you okay?' I could feel a welt growing on my forehead and bloody dripping over my face. Great two wounds now. Just shows how much people are caught up in their own little worlds worrying about where the next paycheck is coming in.
So… What to do now? Its one o'clock. I don't suppose there are any bars open now are there? Yes. Lately poor innocent Shuichi Shindou has been pulling a Yuki. I've been drinking. Not that drinking alcohol is a bad thing. Especially vodka running through my veins warming me up is nice. Just what I need now really. I'm shivering, bleeding and lonely but my feet don't want to stay still for some reason. They don't even want to stop when I hear that familiar voice behind them. Its just ignored by them and somehow I want to ignore it too. Why would he be here of all people.
"Shuichi? What are you doing in the rain you look like crap!"
Yes that voice. It's all part of my imagination. Even if Yuki were here then he wouldn't even be talking to me. Well trying at least because as soon as his hand landed on my shoulder, as much as I would want them to hold me. Protect me and tell me that everything would be okay but I found myself bolting as fast as I could. Right now I couldn't face the one man who treated me like a prostitute.
Mobile is the UK version of I think its called a cell phone or something.
I prefer the title escort but since I'm trying to make Yuki seem evil even though he isn't… At least in this fic. Shuichi is confused and very angry at the world right now.
tokasyriu – Heyho babe :) Yea I'm going to be working on this for a while now instead of my other one. And I can't tell you what's going to happen… it's a secret:P
Aelan – Yes it is mean and im sorry but I really can't afford to fail my courses at college right now so… ill be very sow.
Everyone else who commented / reviewed – Thank you so much :)
