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Disclaimer: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura. CLAMP has the right to say that they do. But I do not.

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Kismet
A mini fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Two: If Only, If Only

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I almost dropped my martini glass. Tomoyo's mouth was wide open. "Oh. My. God," she whispered to me as they came this way, Starbucks Model flashing me a cool smile. Syaoran, on the other hand, was frowning.

Tomoyo nudged me in the ribs before speaking herself. "Oh my gosh, if it isn't Syaoran Li!" she cried, clapping her hands together.

I didn't say anything. I breathed deeply. Syaoran sure as hell was a worthwhile crush. If only, if only I had picked up that piece of paper.

-High School Years-

Syaoran and I weren't exactly best buds. We were friends, sure, but we only talked sometimes. He was my High School crush. He never failed to amaze me. He was even my tutor at one point, but my older brother Touya kicked him out and refused to let him in the house.

He was so mysterious, cute, and nice. He was popular, but not in a snobby way. He never snubbed anyone or put them down. He was a friendly guy, but didn't approach people. They had to come to him before he came to them.

I fell in love with everything— his gorgeous smile, fiery eyes, messy hair…

I remember the day I had told him I loved him. It was on his answering machine, I didn't know that his answering machine was broken.

Please leave a message at the beep. Beep!

"Hello, Syaoran," I said in my most shy-but-trying-to-be-confident voice. "This is Sakura. Sakura Kinomoto. I was uh, wondering if you would, would, would, I mean! Sorry! But I just wanted to say that…that… I love you okay give me a call back later thanks bye!"

I hung up the phone and put a hand to my forehead. "I can't believe I just did that." I whispered to myself.

I sat through the whole night, chewing my fingernails, wondering if he got the message. I told my dad and Touya not to use the phone and that I was waiting for a call.

What would he say? I had used the excuse "maybe he doesn't love me back" to avoid telling him. But Meiling and Tomoyo were sick and fed up of nothing happening. They threatened to post the message on the morning announcements. So I gathered all my courage and told him.

Now I was awaiting his reaction.

"No turning back now," I said as I lay on my bed clutching a bunny plushy. I sighed. Maybe I shouldn't have told him. What if he doesn't answer? It would be so awkward talking to him at school. I have to know what his reaction is.

He didn't return the message. Okay, I thought. Maybe he was out and didn't get the message. Maybe he didn't check his answering machine.

But in my head rang, "he doesn't feel the same way". I tried reassuring myself that he hadn't received the message and would reply tomorrow at school. The more I reassured myself this, the more I believed he didn't feel the same way. By the time I had to go to bed, I was completely thinking, "he doesn't love me and doesn't want to hurt my feelings, that's why he's not replying."

I cried. Okay, I know, I was a baby. I'm usually pessimistic when it comes to crushes. I wasn't popular or even really attractive. I wasn't super smart. I was a good athlete. But he probably liked non-athletic girls. I lay my head on my pillow, and sad, quiet turns rolled down my cheeks and spotted the pillow case.

-

The next day, at school, I didn't see Syaoran. Meiling and Tomoyo asked me if I really did go through with it. I said, "Yeah," and when they noticed I wasn't being my cheerful self, they were consoling me.

"He wasn't worth it, anyway," I heard Tomoyo telling me as I walked up the steps of the school.

"Yeah, I agree? Want me to beat him up for you?" Meiling asked, rolling up her sleeves. I flashed them both a fake smile. "No, it's okay, really, you guys."

"Are you sure?" they asked me as we walked up to the second floor where our lockers were. I opened my locker. A piece of paper fluttered from my locker onto the ground, but I was too angry to notice it.

"Hey, Sakura, you dropped this," Tomoyo said, about to bend over and pick it up.

"Don't bother," I snapped at her. "It's probably just some garbage or old or scrap piece of paper."

-

I walked out of the school, alone. I needed some alone time. To do so, I offered to stay after school and help the teacher grade some papers. Many of my classmates shot me a "what the hell?" type of look. Tomoyo gave me a worried look and Meiling raised her eyebrows.

I stared at the ground as I walked pass the bus stop. I was in no hurry to get home. There was Penguin Park up ahead. Yeah, I'll go there. To sort out my thoughts on the swing.

As I approached the park, eager to do some swinging and thought-sorting, I noticed a couple of guys. Oh, shoot. I recognized the Tomoeda High uniforms they were wearing.

I noticed that one of them was none other than Syaoran Li.

I stopped, frozen in my tracks. How could I face him? I didn't know what to do. I wanted to save myself the embarrassment by turning the other way and going home, but I didn't really want to go home. Besides, Touya would probably bug me by asking me what was wrong, and then he'd probably blackmail me unless I told him, and when I did he would probably go to Syaoran and beat him up.

I couldn't be mad at Syaoran. No, I wasn't exactly mad at him for not liking me back. I had no one to blame but myself. Why should he love some plain, boring girl with no special talents?

I decided not to go exactly to the park. Instead, I sat behind a bush, out of Syaoran and his friends' sight. I hugged my knees to my chest and looked up at the sky.

I could hear what Syaoran and the group were talking about. I didn't want to eavesdrop, and the topic didn't interest me anyway. So I blanked out their voices.

Just then, I heard a striking topic come up.

"Hey, Syaoran, are there any girls you like?" I heard one of his friends ask.

"Like I would tell you," Syaoran said, but not in a mean voice.

"Come on, tell us. Is it that girl you always hang around with?" another one asked.

"What girl?" Syaoran asked innocently.

"That girl… you know, Kimata," he continued.

"Who's Kimata?" Syaoran replied in a confused voice.

"No, no," another one disagreed. "Her name's not Kimata. Isn't it Kinomoto?"

"Yeah!" they all shouted. "You always hang around Kinomoto-san. Do you like her?"

Syaoran didn't say anything. My heart skipped a beat. Did he know I was behind this bush? What was he going to say?

"We're friends and nothing more," Syaoran finally spoke, slowly, his voice filled with no emotion whatsoever.

My heart stopped.

I put my head on my knees and wept. I could never face him again. After all those years of loving him, and not saying a word, it came down to "just friends".

-

The next few weeks, I kept to myself, only talking to Tomoyo and Meiling. They were sympathetic about the whole thing. They understood me wanting to avoid any type of social school activity, because I wanted to avoid Syaoran. I remember I was at the movies with Meiling and Tomoyo, and I would just burst into tears.

I remember missing a lot of school, too. I would tell my dad I was sick, and he would believe me without any questions. I was sick, in a way. My dad took note of this and decided to send me to a therapist. That is, until he got a job promotion.

The next month my family moved out of Tomoeda. Just my luck, huh? I was going to miss Meiling and Tomoyo, though. They promised to call every day and email, but it was never the same.

It took me a while to get over Syaoran. I busied myself with extracurricular activities and new friends, and I became a different person. I buried my memories of Syaoran and Tomoeda (except for Mei and Tom, of course), but I knew they were there, deep down, somewhere, just waiting to be reopened.

I had many boyfriends, but they didn't last really long. I didn't know what I was looking for. I only had gotten a real boyfriend when I was eighteen.

-End of High School Years-

The memories came rushing back. I took a deep breath, clutching my martini glass tightly.

"Tomoyo Daidouji," Syaoran nodded. "Good to see you again." He turned to look at me. "Sakura Kinomoto. How have you two been?"

"I've been fine," I managed to stammer out in the midst of my shock.

"Me too," Tomoyo chimed in, nudging me in the ribs again. I glared at her.

"You're Sakura Kinomoto? I've seen you around before… when I used to work at Starbucks near Toudai…" Starbucks Model simpered. "You and Syaoran know each other?"

"We go way back," I replied, trying to keep myself calm.

"Aya, this is Tomoyo Daidouji and Sakura Kinomoto. I used to go with them to High School," Syaoran said. "Tomoyo, Sakura, this is Aya Uematsu, my fiancee."

My eyes grew wide. Fiancee? Already? Syaoran was one year older than Tomoyo and I, so he was fresh out of University. Tomoyo and I, on the other hand, had half a year left. I felt myself speechless and blushing. I took a deep breath and got my act together.

I smiled and shook her hand. She intimidated the hell out of me like before. Her and her perfect looks…

"So what do you do?" I blurted out. Syaoran and Aya glanced at me, their looks confused, and I immediately turned red. I was embarrassing myself in front of my ex-crush and an ex-waitressof Starbucks!

"I mean, what do you two do for a living?" I corrected myself hastily. Tomoyo shot me a sympathetic look.

Syaoran smirked at me. I flinched. "I'm a real estate agent," Syaoran informed us. "I took over my dad's business. It's been prospering."

I smiled at him. "That must be great!"

"Thanks, it is," he said, giving me something between a smile and a smirk. I felt myself getting hot.

"I'm a model," Aya said with a flip of her silky black hair. "I'm model of Gucci, Dolce and Gabbana, all the designer names." She smiled, her eyes cool and collected.

"I'm a designer myself," Tomoyo pronounced proudly. "I design wedding gowns!"

Aya shot her a critical look. "Maybe you could design my wedding gown. I'd like to see your portfolio, though, of course."

Hmm, I thought. She went from waitress at Starbucks to reknown model.

As the two went crazy over the wedding gown details and such, Syaoran turned to smile at me. "Sakura. It's been a long time," he said.

"I know," I replied with a nod of my head, desperately trying to cool down my reddened face.

"You look great," Syaoran continued, looking me up and down. I probably looked like a tomato by now. I crossed my arms as if to protect myself from him.

Syaoran laughed. "It's not like I'm going to do anything," he said, an amused smirk on his face. I looked down, biting my lip in embarassment, and then looked up to find his gaze at Aya. I uncrossed my arms, with a tiny voice in my head that secretly wanted him to look at me instead.

Then it hit me. Syaoran and Aya had been together as long or possibly longer as my boyfriend and I. They were already engaged, while my relationship was seemingly nowhere near the future I had been dreaming of.

-

An hour later, Aya was nowhere to be seen. I was chatting with Syaoran, Tomoyo, and her new boyfriend, Eriol. It was around thirty minutes to midnight. I was hopelessly trying not to fall asleep. I didn't want to be a little kid anymore! I was going to stay up til midnight if it killed me!

Tomoyo was eagerly chattering away to Eriol, who was adjusting his glasses and hanging onto her every word. Syaoran, next to me, had loosened his necktie and seemed very interested in the New Year's Eve party on the Plasma TV.

I lay back and sighed. He glanced at me. "So… how come you never said goodbye?" he asked me, staring back at the TV.

"Huh?"

"You know, you moved away near the end of tenth grade," he replied, still not looking at me.

"Oh. Yeah," I said stupidly.

"You just left and didn't even tell me," Syaoran said, finally glancing at me.

I blushed. "S-sorry…" I replied. "My dad was transferred, so I moved to another town. It was sudden, so we really didn't have any time for goodbyes."

His amber eyes gave me a look that said I-Don't-Quite-Believe-You. But I didn't want to tell him the truth (why I didn't want to say goodbye). That would make me look like a stalker or nosy person. It would also cause major awkwardness.

"So… what University did you go to?" I said, changing the subject. "I go to Toudai."

"U of HK," Syaoran informed me. Oh. So he went to Hong Kong after High School. When did he come back to Japan?

"I wanted to relocate my company to Japan, so that's why I moved here," Syaoran informed me, as if he read my mind.

"It's time to countdown!" A voice shouted over the crowd. "And remember, you gotta kiss someone at midnight in order to make all your wishes for the New Year to come true! So grab your kissing partner and start counting down!"

I looked at Syaoran. He looked at me.

"I guess we gotta go find our partners," I said, looking around for any sight of my boyfriend.

"Where's Aya?" Syaoran wondered. He looked at me. "You do have a boyfriend, don't you?"

"Of course!" I replied, my face red. "Let's go look for them."

We searched for Aya and my boyfriend everywhere; it took a long time since the mansion was so huge.

I could hear the crowd counting down from ten already.

We were searching on the second floor. We opened all the doors. We called their names.

Finally they were reaching two. I glanced at Syaoran. He glanced at me.

"2… 1… 0! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" the crowd shouted.

Without thinking, I grabbed Syaoran and kissed him. My heart was thudding so loud, it rang in my ears. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Syaoran kissed me back and wrapped his arms around me. I felt so dizzy, like I was in an entirely different world. Weirdest of all, we didn't break away quickly. The New Year's Kiss didn't even have to be longer than a second. But we were lost in our own world.

The kiss turned heated. His lips against mine, kissing me hard, was making me crazy. Oh, God, I thought. What if this turns into something more?

Just when I thought it wouldn't get any weirder, I clung onto him as he opened the door we were standing in front of…

…And saw Aya and my boyfriend making out on the bed.

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Oh my gosh! What does this mean? Reviews embraced with loving arms! Tell me what ya think!