Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts OR White Christmas.
Chapter 14: Crushing
"Wow, Kai... that's your new cello? It's beautiful..."
"Yeah, Mom, it is."
"Did you buy it?"
Kairi gulped. What was she going to say? Maybe now would be just a good of time as ever to lie. "Yeah..."
"I bet you saved a lot of your salary for this."
Kairi nodded.
"I'm really sorry I couldn't make it to your concert... I promise I'll go to the next one, when is it?"
"Like three weeks from now. Selphie says that it's the tightest concert of the year."
"I'll be there for sure, Kairi. Don't worry about it." She gave her daughter a hug.
Kairi wandered up to her room as her mother messed a bit more with her bills in vain. What was Sora thinking, really? She flopped down on her bed, still in her concert attire. Two thousand dollars don't just pop out of anywhere...
She sat up in bed. The next concert was coming up so soon... what was Mr. Leonhart thinking when he scheduled the concerts? Three weeks won't be enough time, she thought. She also remembered that Mr. Leonhart had said there would be no chair testing this concert... everyone else may have been relived, but Kairi sure wasn't.
It suddenly clicked in her mind that tonight would be the last night she would have with those pieces that she loved so much. She quickly sat up, set up her music and her stand, and unpacked her cello...
She began to play, from the beginning. Whether the notes where whole notes or sixteenth, harmony or melody, she embraced them all. She played her heart out- harder than she had played at the concert that night. Except now, it was only her, and her music rang throughout the house.
After all, this may be the last time she could have a chance to hear it, to play it, to feel it.
-
"KAIRI!" Her mother tore the blanket off of Kairi's back. "What time did you go to bed last night?"
She couldn't remember... all she really could were those sweet melodies running through her head...
She looked around, blankly. She was still wearing her outfit from last night, although now it was crinkled and no longer smooth and pressed. Her new cello was down on its side next to her chair, and her sheets of music had flown everywhere on the floor.
It came to her then... at around 11 PM, she had grown tired, and lazily put her cello to the side, and tried to gather up her music... but then ended up falling straight down on her bed.
"Umm..."
"It's almost time for you to leave. You might want to hurry."
Why must she loose her mind the way she did last night? Of course, it was nice and relaxing to be playing the music... but why didn't she notice the time and pack up her cello and put away everything the way she was supposed to?
She flew around her room, getting dressed for school and putting everything away, and then flew around the bathroom, trying to brush her teeth and hair at the same time. She grabbed her bag, hoping it was closed and nothing would fall out, and then ran downstairs to grab a bagel.
"Hey, Kairi, we were wondering where you were," Selphie teased. "Oversleep again?"
"Yeah..." Kairi ran her hands through her hair, trying to get a few more tangles out.
"Come on, let's get to where we meet Namine. Don't want her to wait around too long."
Kairi nodded, and the three girls walked their usual route to school. Nothing seemed to odd today, except for the fact that Kairi had woken up late.
"Kairi, stop playing with your hair, it's fine!" Yuffie insisted.
"But it's all tangly and messy..."
"Trying to impress someone?" Selphie took this chance to tease her a bit more.
"N-no! I just don't want to look bad!"
"Yeah, in front of Sora." Selphie smirked.
The thought of Sora suddenly made her heart race. What would he think of her messy hair? She hoped that he wouldn't care... after all, she really had to thank him and come up with some way of paying him back.
They had made it to school, Kairi immediately looked for him. She was devistated when she couldn't find him in the courtyard, so she headed to the orchestra room, unaware that she had her three friends trailing along behind her. She was in her own world, in her own trance.
"Look, you guys... she really does like him, I'm serious!" Even Selphie's loud remark was unheard by Kairi.
When she finally reached the orchestra room, she had realized that her friends had been following her all along. "Ahh!" she gave a little shriek out of surprise.
"Little late there, huh?" Namine smiled.
"You mean you've been following me all along?"
"Yes. While you were in your fantasy about Sora."
"Oh... well..." She had a hard time denying her "fantasy." After a few seconds of silence, she found her voice again. "I need to... um... tell him something." She walked into the room, leaving her friends with their ears plastered to the door.
Riku was in the room with Sora when she entered. He almost seemed to know what was going on, because he said, "I'll leave you guys to your talk." He left the room.
Kairi didn't know what to say. The friendship that she had felt just a week or so ago seemed to be a memory away- it was almost as if she didn't know him anymore. She was afraid to speak, not sure what to say. Really, what do you say when something gives you a two thousand dollar gift that's not your parents?
He spoke for her. "It's about the cello, isn't it?"
She nodded and opened her mouth, trying to speak. Nothing would come out. Why were her vocal chords suddenly malfunctioning?
"I want you to have it, Kairi. Don't worry about how much it cost... just think of it as an early Christmas present." He put his hand on her shoulder.
"...Thank you..." was all she could muster.
Sora smiled goofily at her. "How did you like it? I bet you spent all night playing it..."
She felt her heart melt at the smile. Since when did he get so cute and kiddish? He always seemed like the mature, musical type... not so cute... and adorable... and then there were his eyes... she had noticed them from the beginning.
He didn't inturrupt her silence, because he was quiet, too. He was examining her features, too, and looking into her eyes. What kind of words could have described that feeling that he felt inside?
Someone had come in and turned on some soft music. The music had seemed to melt into their minds. Once they had heard the music, they both knew, this was what could describe what they were feeling... when no words could. The bell even rang, and they were both lost in each other.
The peacefulness and serenity was quickly changed, as soon as the first group of loud chamber players entered the room. The roar of the chitchat and last-minute practicing rang into their ears, as they realized the moment they shared was gone.
Kairi blushed, not realizing that she had been staring at Sora for so long. "Sorry," was the first words that came out of her mouth. "I've... got to get to class." She dashed out of the room. He must think I'm some sort of freak now... she moaned to herself.
Sora felt a pang in his heart as soon as she left the room. He had to get to his first hour, too... but he wanted to stay here, as usual. After all, it was his home. But there was no way he could miss class again after being gone so much.
-
Kairi was mindlessly doodling in the margins of her math homework. She was supposed to be checking it with someone around her, but she didn't feel up to it.
How many hours away was orchestra? She didn't want to wait any longer... she wanted to be next to him again... to feel the music flowing around them...
When she looked down on her paper, there were almost illegible words written in the margins. What she could make out was an S and a K... and the shape around the letters seemed to slightly resemble a heart...
"Kairi!" Selphie scootched closer to her, dragging her desk along with her. "Yuffie and I don't agree on this question. What did you get?"
"Umm... which one?" Kairi didn't want Selphie to see her paper.
"Number 6..."
"I got 3x..."
"How'd you get that? Me and Yuffie both didn't get that!" She leaned over to look at Kairi's paper.
Kairi tried her best to hide her doodles in the margins, but it didn't work. Selphie took control and snatched the paper out of Kairi's hands.
"Kairi... tsk tsk tsk... what have you been thinking of?"
"Umm... nothing?"
"I don't think so, Kairi... what you've been drawing shows it all."
"Shh..." Kairi took her paper back from Selphie. "If I admitted that I liked him, would you stop annoying me about him?"
Selphie thought about it, then brightened. "Yeah!"
"Fine, then I do like him."
"Oh my gosh! I have dreamed of this day all of my life!" Selphie ran over and gave Kairi a huge hug.
Kairi's eyes widened as Selphie tightened her grip. She was causing such a huge commotion in Math that their usually lenient teacher asked her to calm down and sit in her own seat. Selphie quickly did so, because she did not want to be on anybody's bad side- especially the teacher of the class that she had a D- in.
Once Selphie went back to her seat, Kairi continued to daydream. There seemed to be nothing wrong with him... and her mind soon flew very far away from her body.
-
It was finally time for orchestra- the class that Kairi had been daydreaming about all day. Except, now that it had come... she felt unnaturally nervous. What if Sora didn't feel the same way? She'd feel like such a fool...
She felt herself stumble along as she went with her cello into her seat. She hadn't stumbled since the first time she had picked it up...
She looked around for Sora. There he was, with his spikey hair and his blue eyes... she wanted to sit and stare at him forever... but that wouldn't work right now. She had to have at least a teensy bit of self control- after getting caught for daydreaming in both Math and English, then completely tripping over herself in Dance. Not only was the trip embarrassing, it was painful to her behind.
"Hi." She greeted her stand partner, thinking maybe something might take her mind off of Sora.
"Hey!" Her stand partner seemed to be extremely perky today. "I am so happy we don't have to have chair auditions until next semester! I was afraid that I would have to actually practice!"
Kairi raised an eyebrow. How could someone call themselves a musician, or even a member of the orchestra, and then right out loud say that they didn't want to practice?
As soon as the tardy bell rang, the class became silent. They wanted to know how well they did last night.
"You guys were wonderful. I'm glad that festival was a warning to you guys about being as a team..." As he droned on, Kairi concentrated on Sora. Or rather, the back of his head, since she couldn't really see any other part of him. She still kept half an ear on what Mr. Leonhart was saying, so she wouldn't be caught off guard again.
"And, so, let's start our new music now. Please pass up your old music to your section leader. And as you know, we don't have time to chair audition this time around- but only three weeks to work on the music. So either way, you guys need to practice."
Kairi took out her music, reluctant to part with it. Last night seemed to be a lifetime away... what if she ever forgot the melodies? What would happen then? She sadly passed it to her stand partner, who passed it to the stand in front of them.
When Sora was waiting for the music to be passed up, he was turned to face his section. He caught a glance at Kairi, who was looking back at him. She was happy for just that moment for their eyes to lock the way they did that morning.
As Sora was passed the music to pass back to his section, he turned around again to look at Kairi. It was like a game, to see how many times he could look at her.
"Okay, everyone, let's try to sight read this... let's start with White Christmas." He held up his hands to conduct.
Amazingly, Kairi did not get lost through the whole song. She did hit a few out of tune notes here and there, but she let the music ring from her heart. In turn, she could feel the music also ring from Sora's. And there was something about it that just made her know, for at least that short moment, that music would connect them together forever.
For that hour, it was just the two of them. The rest of the music didn't seem to matter, it was just her and Sora, Sora and her, playing together, their notes blending together as one.
During a few minutes of the class, there had been a piece that everyone was having a hard time counting. Kairi, subdividing in her head like crazy, was one of the few people actually on beat in the end. She had let the music come out in its own pace, and it seemed to match Sora's.
Was this how it was explained? How that churning in her heart was explained? It seemed like a confident enough explanation...
But there was something more. Something more than the music radiating from their hearts. Kairi wanted to discover that herself. Maybe Selphie already knew, but she didn't want to know by asking. She wanted to know by finding out from her own experience.
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