Thanks again for everyone who has been reviewing. Like I've said before, I love reading them. Sorry my chapters are a little on the shorter side. I always try to make them a tad longer, but it never works out for me. But I figure you guys would rather have more short updates than fewer long updates since it'd probably take me longer to write those. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. You've probably noticed on how Peyton's always taken Lucas' side and understood his actions throughout this fanfic, but this chapter's a bit different.
Love, Emily
"Luke?"
Silence.
Getting up from her computer, she quietly made her way toward her bed. "Luke?" She repeated, whispering before she sat on one of the corners. He was asleep, his legs bent slightly upward toward his chest, still dressed in his basketball jersey. "I wish I knew what was going on in there…" A sigh left her lips, her hands gently, slowly brushing along one of the sides of his face. Just when she thought he was becoming less distant, he drifted backwards. She was running out of ways to help him, other than the ones she had already tried.
The feel of her cell phone vibrating snapped her attention away from him. 'Karen' flashed against her screen, and she suddenly remembered Lucas hadn't talked to her at all lately. "Hello?"
"Peyton, hi, is Lucas with you?" Her voice was tired, reflecting the way her heart felt.
"Oh God, Karen, I'm so sorry for not calling…" She ran a hand through her hair, wondering how the thought could've slipped both hers and Lucas' minds. "But yeah, he's here." She heard a small sigh of relief over the receiver. "He's asleep right now, but do you want me to have him call when he wakes up?"
"Could you?"
"Yeah, no problem. And I'm really sorry, once again. I know worrying about Lucas is probably the last thing you need right now." She was rambling, like usual when she was nervous.
"It's okay, I figured he'd be with you." Peyton smiled to herself at Karen's comment. "Thanks again, Peyton, goodnight." Karen spoke after a brief moment of awkward silence between the two of them. They both hung up as Peyton turned to Lucas who was surprisingly looking back at her.
"You're up." He nodded slightly toward her. She laid herself back on the bed next to him, "That was your mom, she was worried about you."
"I know."
An annoyed look crossed her face as she let out a small sigh of defeat, "And you didn't get up to talk to her?" She shoved his shoulder playfully. "You should go home and see her. You can come back if you want, but just go see her."
"Kicking me out are you?" He looked over at her with a smirk.
"No, just giving your mom her job back." Her face copied the same smirk as his had just moments earlier. "You're too much to deal with."
"Thanks. So I'll see you soon? I'm just going to get some stuff to wear tomorro-"
"Talk to your mom, Lucas." Her voice was serious, she wasn't going to let him blow off his mom. "Like me, she's trying to help alright?" He nodded, turning his head away from her. "No, Lucas, I need you to promise me you'll talk to her."
"I'll talk to her…"
"Okay." Her answer was simple. "I'll see you later then." They both stood up as she began walking him toward her door. Her hand grabbed his upper arm, pulling his attention back to her before her lips inched upward to his. She didn't know why she did it, she just wanted to, wanted to know this was real, wanted to feel his lips on hers. But unlike before, she didn't regret anything. His hands cupped her face as they pulled away after a few moments. "Go…" she pushed him playfully after watching a smile creep across his face.
It could actually work.
"Mom?" He knocked on her doorway lightly, hearing soft, muffled sobs from the other end. His hand reached for her doorknob as he walked into her room. "Mom…" Her eyes were reddened, tearing up quickly when they met his own eyes. "I'm sorry." His voice was beginning to crack, quickly feeling himself feel just as disheveled and lost as the sight in front of him. For the first time, he finally let go. No alcohol, no anything, just himself. It was natural, expected, for him to crack. Only so much could be held inside of him for so long. "I should've been here…"
Maybe letting go was what he needed.
"Hey. Are you okay?" Her eyes searched his, sitting upward on her bed and motioning him to sit down as well. The bag slung over his shoulder fell to the floor, a small bottle falling out of it as the bag fell still. "Oh, I'll get it…"
"It's okay, I've got i-" His hands reached for the floor, trying to beat hers. It was too late on his part. He watched her face as she held it in her hands, a look of confusion coming over her.
"Wh-what're these for?"
"They're just pills I have. I haven't felt too well lately…" Lie.
"I don't think they put 'fill prescription as needed' on cold medicines, Lucas." Her voice was hard against his ears. The sound of defeat. "What are they for, Luke?" She asked again.
"They're for my heart." He was hoping she'd leave it at that, but then again, he knew her better than that. He saw her face, "I have a heart condition, Peyton…" His voice was soft.
She eyed between him and the bottle within her grasp, waiting for him to call this a joke, waiting for him to say 'April fools' in January. Anything. Anything that would make this all a lie. "Date issued September nineteenth?" She looked at him; not sure if she should feel betrayed, disappointed, or hurt. "Lucas how long have you known? And how long has it been since you've taken these!"
"Since the end of junior year…" He said lowly, trying to avoid her eyes at all costs. "And I haven't been taking them since I was afraid of my mom finding them."
"So you've been playing basketball without medication?" He nodded as she stood up, not wanting to face him. "How could you do that, Luke? You've just realized how hard it is to lose someone, and you've been putting everyone who loves you in that same position? The chance of losing you?" Her eyes were filling with tears. "How could you do that…"
"I'm sorr-"
"You know, Lucas, you've looked both me and now your mom in the eyes, seen how worried we were about you, you've had me tied down to you and opening up my heart again, so how could you possibly be sorry?" Tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Pey-"
"I've been nothing but supportive of you throughout this whole mess, and I've done nothing else but try to give you space. How could you not tell me this?"
"Because you'd just feel sorry for me!" His voice was loud, standing up and walking toward her. "Everyone would! Do you know how it would feel for me to walk into that gym with everyone looking at me like I was already dead?"
"You're not going to die…" She grabbed the sides of his face in her hands. Once again, she couldn't be mad at him.
"Without basketball, Pey, I might as well be."
"So that's all that matters in your life, Luke? A game? Is that what your life is now? A stupid game? Am I just a stupid obstacle within it?" His eyes widened slightly at her tone.
"What do you think, Peyt?" He threw his hands up sarcastically.
"Well what the fuck do you think you're doing Lucas! You're going around playing basketball without medication that you know you need. What else would you call that besides a game? And if it's a game you don't want to play, then do something about it." She was giving up, sitting down in her chair with her face in her hands. Her body shook with anger but mostly fear.
"Peyton…" He pulled her to him, holding her body close against his.
"I don't want to lose you, Luke, I can't…" She muffled into his chest through her own tears.
"You're not going to."
