Redneck Commercial
(A/N: ok here's another attempt at a commercial. Please rate!)
I'm not trying to offend anyone in this story! It's just playacting! Ok? Now that we've got that cleared up…
Disclaimer: I own nothing! Hahahaha!
Mariah: -walks into a dimly lit TV station- where the hell am I?
Voice: a TV station you're going to be in a commercial
Mariah: why?
Voice: you entered a contest
Mariah: is that what that was? I thought I wuz entering for a Harley, man I luv them Harley's
Voice: -becoming impatient- can we start filming yet?
Mariah: how?
Voice: just read the words on the blue screen
Mariah: -reading- buys Beefu…the tofu that tastes of real beef…why the heck would anybody buy this crud! Give me real meats damn it!
Voice: -sighs mumbling- I have a feeling that this isn't going to turn out good
Mariah: you owe me a Brewski!
Voice: WHAT?
Mariah: you heard me! Nows you owe me two!
Voice: oh my god…
Mariah: what station is this on the tellervision anyway?
Voice: the Hindu network
Mariah: you can't sell beef to Hindus! They worship the ground that them cows walk over!
Voice: this isn't real…
Mariah: My redneck sister Emma Jo has a Hindu husband, he don't eat beef 'cepting when he don't know that it's beef
Emma: dat's right! He don't eat that beef!
Mariah: Emma Jo! You made it!
Voice: Oh my god there's two of them…
Emma: Hey who's that voice up there's?
Mariah: you know he really hasn't told me yet
Voice: you don't know who I am!
Emma: I know that voice! That's Bob!
Mariah: who's Bob?
Emma: he's a Goth…a Goth lackey
Voice (Bob): I told Staci not to tell anyone!
Emma: too bad
Mariah: heh heh…he owes me two Brewski's –thinks a moment- come ta think of it we don't want Emma to be left out, get us four Brewski's!
Bob: how in the hell did we get these losers to announce
Emma: so why are we here?
Mariah: we're doin' a comercie
Emma: oh! You mean like the ones on the tellervision
Mariah: them's the ones!
Bob: -.- I soooo need a better job
Emma: and he's tryin' to sell beef to Hindu's? That ain't never gonna work!
Mariah: I know! Idiots these days
Emma: heh you and me should try an feed beef to my husband, might get rid that big pimple of his
Mariah: oh ya mean the one on the middle of his forehead?
Emma: that's right!
Bob: oh knock it off both of you!
Mariah: you owe us three Brewski's now!
Bob: oh my lord…
Mariah: ya know I think he's offending us
Emma: WWPD?
Mariah: uh…ain't that WWJD? What Would Jesus Do?
Emma: Naw! WWPD! What Would Phantom Do?
Mariah: OH! Have ya heard from the Phantom lately?
Emma: naw but you see her picture up on them telephone poles. Something' 'bout a Reward
Mariah: really? I just thought they liked that picture
Emma: you mean the one wit her holdin' that chainsaw?
Mariah: I wuz thinkin' about the one with the machine gun, but that picture is pretty good too
Bob: oooookkkk…..weird…
Mariah: so what would the Phantom do?
Emma: uh…probably take out a machete or something
Mariah: I got's a hammer, does that work?
Emma: sure! Why not?
Bob: -panicking- oh man I gotta get out of here! –Runs out the door-
Emma: why looky here, we darn made him wet himself
Mariah: dat's disgusting!
Emma: you're tellin' me!
Mariah: -points at the camera- I think we done ran out of film!
Emma: darn…now how's we gonna finish this comercie?
Mariah: -shrugging- I dunno…
Emma: damn…
(A/N: heh…hope you liked it! it's really not made to make sense so deal with it!)
