Redneck Commercial

(A/N: ok here's another attempt at a commercial. Please rate!)

I'm not trying to offend anyone in this story! It's just playacting! Ok? Now that we've got that cleared up…

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Hahahaha!

Mariah: -walks into a dimly lit TV station- where the hell am I?

Voice: a TV station you're going to be in a commercial

Mariah: why?

Voice: you entered a contest

Mariah: is that what that was? I thought I wuz entering for a Harley, man I luv them Harley's

Voice: -becoming impatient- can we start filming yet?

Mariah: how?

Voice: just read the words on the blue screen

Mariah: -reading- buys Beefu…the tofu that tastes of real beef…why the heck would anybody buy this crud! Give me real meats damn it!

Voice: -sighs mumbling- I have a feeling that this isn't going to turn out good

Mariah: you owe me a Brewski!

Voice: WHAT?

Mariah: you heard me! Nows you owe me two!

Voice: oh my god…

Mariah: what station is this on the tellervision anyway?

Voice: the Hindu network

Mariah: you can't sell beef to Hindus! They worship the ground that them cows walk over!

Voice: this isn't real…

Mariah: My redneck sister Emma Jo has a Hindu husband, he don't eat beef 'cepting when he don't know that it's beef

Emma: dat's right! He don't eat that beef!

Mariah: Emma Jo! You made it!

Voice: Oh my god there's two of them…

Emma: Hey who's that voice up there's?

Mariah: you know he really hasn't told me yet

Voice: you don't know who I am!

Emma: I know that voice! That's Bob!

Mariah: who's Bob?

Emma: he's a Goth…a Goth lackey

Voice (Bob): I told Staci not to tell anyone!

Emma: too bad

Mariah: heh heh…he owes me two Brewski's –thinks a moment- come ta think of it we don't want Emma to be left out, get us four Brewski's!

Bob: how in the hell did we get these losers to announce

Emma: so why are we here?

Mariah: we're doin' a comercie

Emma: oh! You mean like the ones on the tellervision

Mariah: them's the ones!

Bob: -.- I soooo need a better job

Emma: and he's tryin' to sell beef to Hindu's? That ain't never gonna work!

Mariah: I know! Idiots these days

Emma: heh you and me should try an feed beef to my husband, might get rid that big pimple of his

Mariah: oh ya mean the one on the middle of his forehead?

Emma: that's right!

Bob: oh knock it off both of you!

Mariah: you owe us three Brewski's now!

Bob: oh my lord…

Mariah: ya know I think he's offending us

Emma: WWPD?

Mariah: uh…ain't that WWJD? What Would Jesus Do?

Emma: Naw! WWPD! What Would Phantom Do?

Mariah: OH! Have ya heard from the Phantom lately?

Emma: naw but you see her picture up on them telephone poles. Something' 'bout a Reward

Mariah: really? I just thought they liked that picture

Emma: you mean the one wit her holdin' that chainsaw?

Mariah: I wuz thinkin' about the one with the machine gun, but that picture is pretty good too

Bob: oooookkkk…..weird…

Mariah: so what would the Phantom do?

Emma: uh…probably take out a machete or something

Mariah: I got's a hammer, does that work?

Emma: sure! Why not?

Bob: -panicking- oh man I gotta get out of here! –Runs out the door-

Emma: why looky here, we darn made him wet himself

Mariah: dat's disgusting!

Emma: you're tellin' me!

Mariah: -points at the camera- I think we done ran out of film!

Emma: darn…now how's we gonna finish this comercie?

Mariah: -shrugging- I dunno…

Emma: damn…

(A/N: heh…hope you liked it! it's really not made to make sense so deal with it!)