Sorry such a long time without updating, hope you didn't forget about this little story, not much inspiration for it, but im sure their well be at least five or six chapters left.
Okay, so I will start it without a long authors note heheh.
Warning: Blah, blah, blah, M! sex, drugs, violence, rape, stuff that people love to read about..
Disclaimer: They are neither mine nor well they ever unless I became Bill gates and bought Teen Titans of D.C comics otherwise not any time soon.
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"So are we going to the party?"
"Hell yeh."
"But you do realize I might be the whole night with Gar, and Richard wont be there, and he doesn't want you hanging with us junkies anyway."
"Yeh Raven I have completely understood it all lets just go before Richard finds out. Plus he can't rule my life, he isn't my mother."
Hopping on to the back of Raven's bike I was determined. Determined not to live my life like others wanted me to. Richard wanted me to stop drinking, my sister wanted me to stay home and be a good girl, my parents wanted me to take care of my brother. Well you know what, I was going to this party; I skip school, and my brother committed suicide. Isn't life just peachy?
We arrived at the party fashionably late, cars and motorbikes were already lined all around the street. The music was loud and you could already smell the sent of alcohol and cigarettes at the front porch, my kind of party.
Immediately when we entered Raven was greeted with a rose and a make out session, courteously due to Gar, who gave me a compassionate hug. Well if it wasn't for they would have never been together, so I at least deserved a hug!
"Hey Kori over here."
I was waved over by trouble itself, Xavier. But even though I just entered the house my spirits were lifted. So what if he gave me relationship problems, it indeed only got Richard to show his true deep feelings for me. I mean what was the worst he could do?
Plopping myself next to him I accepted the bottle of vodka I was handed. Pretty powerful stuff, but I hadn't drunk in two weeks, and I felt depressed and deprived without it. I just needed some hard liquor, and it was everything Richard wouldn't give me while I was staying with him.
Sober idiot
I didn't know how long I had been sitting on the couch next to Xavier all I had known was that I shouldn't mix my alcohol, I was feeling extremely plastered. One whole bottle of vodka then three beer cans could kill someone, and it has, I just had a really high alcohol tolerance, must have been genetic.
Suddenly my skin felt tingly, like butterflies kissing my sun-tanned shoulders. " Stop it!"
" You want me baby."
"No.. I don't… want you.."
Was I giving Xavier some unknown signal? Maybe it was the fact that i came in a leather short skirt, was that some type of signal? Jus for reassurance I crossed my legs, attempting to move my body away from him. But he only came on stronger, pushing me against the couch, then sliding his hand into my skirt to pull down my underwear.
"Stop… Xavier… Don't… Touch me…"
To week to drunk to push him off, I looked around the room. There were people on the couches around us, but they were too high to do anything, or were enjoying the entertainment. Sick bastards. My brain only registered when his fingers slid into my clitoris. Gasping I finally realized what the sick bastard was doing; pushing him of with a last ounce of strength I staggered drunkenly up the stairs and into the bedroom.
Lying without a sound I cried; either out of my drunken fury or the fact that due to my alcohol problems I was taken advantage off. Since I wanted to be so grown up and so independent from anyone's guidance I was almost hand fucked by a guy I never even loved. Why didn't I listen to Richard?
My brain started to buzz again, I just wanted to sleep the effects of the large alcohol intake was making my brain drowsy.
A sound was made at the door, a male figure walked in. He leaned forward and took off my shirt. Maybe Richard did come, and I wasn't so alone. Maybe he was so happy to see me he just wanted to fuck me. Moaning I let him take my breast into his mouth, enjoying the ferocious sucking he gave both of my breasts. Then he slid of my skirt, and in my hazy vision I could almost make out his sardonic grin. I gasped again as he slid himself into me touching me every at once, pushing himself in and out. But I was to plastered to feel a thing.
And the last thing I felt before I passed out was his head going down to finish the job.
But I don't remember a thing.
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The rays of light that hit the room were blinding, giving me a greater headache then the one caused by immense hangover. I was warm due to the fact of another human body pressing him self against me. I loved waking up next to Richard, except that the fact that this wasn't his room or mine confused me. Where were we?
Then shock settled in, shuffling over I come face to face with Xavier. Not Richard.
"Get your hands off me."
His eyes slowly opened, blinking to readjust with the light. Then he grinned. That bastard grinned!
"You enjoyed it last night."
"I didn't sleep with you! Last night! I don't know about last night, stop lying!"
"Come on baby, you let me fuck you, you just don't want to admit it."
Did I? Did I have sex with him? Was I so drunk I didn't even realize what was happening, my head ached from trying to remember, I was completely blanked out.
"No, that's not possible, let the fuck go of me!"
"Stop resisting baby, Xavier gets what he wants."
And when he pushed him self on me forcing himself into me, I did what any other sensible person would do, I screamed.
Was no one going to save me?
"GET OFF OF HER! GET OF! GET OF!" Raven was screaming at the top of her lungs, she was crying, "GAR HELP! GAR! GAR!"
Garfield came rushing over, but still Xavier pumped me, pinned I could not move a muscle. Then it came, the sound of Xavier's nose being broken, Gar had punched him. Cursing incoherently Xavier pulled his pants up and rushed out of the room. Leaving a hysterical Raven and a furious Gar.
"Im so sorry, forgive me! Kori I should have never left you."
Gar and Raven helped me redress. I was silent. To many thoughts dominating my mind.
"Im so sorry, oh my god Kori, I will never leave your said, Kori im sorry, im a horrible person."
"No, I am."
We hugged, both of us crying tears held up for to long. I was fucked up, she was, we all were.
"Il drive you home."
Raven was lucky to have Gar, his soothing voice and calm demeanor was all I needed in this situation. But as I climbed into the car and into Rachel's cuddle, the fact that I got raped didn't irk me; it was the fact of telling Richard.
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He had called me three times, each time I refused to pick up. Kimi was pissed, telling me if I wanted to brake up with my boyfriend she wasn't going to do it for me. And as my sister she had a right to force me to answer the phone. I didn't give a shit. I was truthfully scared, he was aggressive both in sex and out of, and I damn hate him mad at me. The one last good boy in my life, and im going to let him slip away due to my over excessive alcohol intake.
I guess I should call him.
The phone rang a couple times then I was greeted by a disgruntled voice; please let him not be mad.
"Hello…"
"Kori baby, fuck I was so worried, your sister kept saying you weren't there and I thought, Agh where the fuck have you been!"
"Im sorry, please do not get angry Richard."
"Come over."
"Alright."
Changing into a pair of long black jeans and black sports bra, it was hot but I wasn't going to show my legs, maybe he would find out!
Standing outside the heat was overwhelming, just my luck a horrible day, a horrible hangover, and a horrible conscience.
I walked slowly taking my time to watch the world. There were children playing, cars honking, neighbors talking; just an ordinary suburban neighborhood. Why couldn't I just be normal, for once I didn't want to stand out? I was reflecting on life, maturing I guess. Why was I the pierced nose tattooed kid that got drunk and smoked pot? Why not the classy lady who wore pink and took piano lessons. I snorted, piano lesson? Like that was ever going to happen, I was never giving up my drums, they were my prized possession!
Finally reaching Richards house i find that the doors and windows are open, probably due to the heat.
"Not afraid anyone is going to brake in?"
Richard gave me a smirk then shook his head no, I took his lead then followed him to his backyard. We sat down him against the fan me leaning on his stomach in-between his legs. The tension was killing me, he was at ease eyes closed, relaxed. Polar opposite of how I felt, my stomach was churning, extreme guilt.
" I went to the party."
He didn't even cock open an eye just nodded, " I knew you would."
"And you didn't follow me?"
"You're a big girl, I should have respected that you have responsibility."
I bit back tears, responsibility; I lost his trust, will I was going to lose it. Maybe I didn't have to tell him, and I would forget about it, I didn't remember much of that night anyway. I only knew the aftermath and that alone wasn't good. I had to tell him, be responsible, even if it meant losing his trust, I couldn't let dishonesty stand amongst us.
" I think, I think I drank to much, Xavier things happened."
His eyes were now open; staring at me with a stern gaze, picking me up he turned me to face his intense blue eyes.
"What things."
Looking down, I was only then forced to look him in the eyes once again. Green locked with blue, he looked mad.
"Things I didn't want to happened, things I don't remember, I didn't want him Richard, I was so gone, I had no clue what was happening, then I woke up, He was there, he…"
Richard silenced me with his finger; he understood what I was getting to. Why did it hurt so much, even though the truth came out? Maybe because admitting it was exactly what I didn't want to do, I wanted to live a false pretense of security.
"Kori I cant do this."
"What?"
"This, us, you need help."
"No im fine, I have it under control."
His grip tightened pulling me up holding me so I wouldn't be able to turn away, " You don't, you're not in control. Hell this happened, as much as you didn't want it to, it did. You can't stop, its an addiction. You need rehab, and we will all be there for you. Worse can happen."
"WORSE! What could be worse, you don't understand, I drink to escape, to forget. Do you not know pain? What I have been through, I understand its bad. But im under control! I do not need rehab!"
"Baby."
The look in his eye, the look I have seen all to many times before. Pity, goddamn pity, I couldn't take it. I ran, ran without looking back. Out the door, around the corner, ran till I couldn't breath no more. A tree, a big oak tree with shady branches was around the block, out of breath I sat beneath it.
It happened before, it happened again, that look, always the same thing, pity. I could manage myself, I wasn't weak, useless. I didn't need my parents, my brother, and my workaholic sister, any of them. They didn't want me anyway, not even Richard did. If he cared why send me to rehab, so he would never have to look at my sorry face again?
It was too much; my headache now turned migraine, the only thing left to make me feel better, my glass. In my pocket was my most prized possession, a piece of broken glass from an old window, my savior for dire moments like these. The blade was smooth and shiny ending in a sharp point, it god rid of pain and brought a fresh batch.
Holding it above my belly I stopped then plunged, enjoying the numbing sensation, then the searing pain coursing through my stomach.
Who needed them?
I didn't, they didn't, and no one cares.
My stomach was bleeding, the blood staining my black pants and shirt a murky color, I was covered in my sorrow, and the blood gushed heavier. If I died that was too bad, I deserved to die. I was nothing but a selfish witch, no one needed me, I didn't need him or her, and the score was tied.
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Pitch black, the color I woke up to the next morning. Maybe I was dead, this was hell, pure darkness, not to shabby.
"Your awake."
Hell contained the voice of a sobbing Raven? This wasn't hell, I was alive, and a little part of me was glad. Moaning, I opened my emerald eyes blinking to readjust to my surroundings, I was at her house lying on the couch with something pressuring my stomach. A bandage; memories rushing to my head of my bloody rage, why hadn't I died?
"We didn't bring you to the hospital, Gar and I, the wounds weren't deep enough, honey you gave me a scare what happened?"
"Rehab…Richard."
"Damn idiot, you don't need rehab your totally fine, you just need a little TLC, and come on just for your sake IL go shopping with you."
I gave her a small smile, before drifting back to sleep, "After a tiny nap."
I fell asleep in her arms, she was all I needed, the only one that cared, and for that I was grateful. One last soul in this planet cared for me.
Truthfully, I was glad I hadn't lost my life.
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YAY! You like! She lives, enough drama? None of you were expecting that, but I know im going to be totally hypocritical saying this but drinking does horrible things to you, I may drink but im not an alcoholic like Kori has become and she is so confused, the thought of rehab scares her. I mean it is pretty scary, and it makes you feel that people are trying to send you away like an unwanted problem, well review!
Love! Kisses and hugs!
