Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or the characters.
Spoilers: Pre-Glee. No spoilers.
Rating: T to be safe.
Reply to reviews (chapter 4):
Boris Yeltsin: Thank you for the review. Quinn will definitely have to work on that. :)
Thank you to those who reviewed on the last chapter, and welcome to my new follower chloe2007.
Notes: This turned out to be a lot longer than I thought, but Quinn and Rachel do need to talk about what was said, so that it at the end.
Enjoy! :)
*McKinley*
Honestly, she should have expected it.
For four years, all Rachel has wanted is what the girls have been doing for the past week.
But of course, why would they been sincere about it? Why would they, after all of this time, suddenly want to befriend her again?
Rachel does not have any "popularity" status. She is a loser. She gets Slushied every day, she has a friend in Mercedes and Kurt, but honestly, she feels they just tolerate her, and…it's just not the same.
She wishes they were sincere, and she wishes she could get back the friendship she once had. She wishes she could realistically imagine what it would be like to have Friday Night Movie Night with the girls, or to get that phone call from Brittany at midnight telling her Rachie, it's snowing!
She wants to on the in with Santana and Quinn's jokes, and she wants back that softness that her once Latina best friend showed when it was just the four of them.
Like she said in the note that had been left in Quinn's locker a week ago, she knew they were naïve little 5-year-olds when they first met, Quinn, her, and Noah. They were in kindergarten, barely knew their ABCs, numbers, or even how to write.
They were best friends in the way kids that age normally are, and then, they grew up.
It was in the fourth grade when Rachel's world changed. Fourth grade was when Santana and Britt both just happened to move to Lima, Ohio at the same time, after being best friends themselves for all of third grade.
They met Quinn first, because their Elementary had two fourth grade classrooms, Quinn, Santana, and Britt in first one, and Rachel and Noah in the second one.
If Rachel were to pinpoint the moment that everything first changed, it would probably have been when Santana and Brittany were assigned to sit next to Quinn on their first day, although she had no idea back then.
Santana was a little spitfire. And Brittany was a big ball of innocence. The four of them – Noah, Quinn, Rachel, and Santana, – worked to keep Brittany safe, from the bullies, students and, surprisingly, teachers alike.
Rachel should have known then.
It was probably a lot for a 9-year-old, to have to stand up for, and protect, two of her friends.
At least Rachel was old enough that she could have done it herself. Whereas Brittany was just confused as to why the other kids were making fun of her for not knowing her multiplication tables, or why the teachers would just shake their heads when she gave the reason of "I didn't understand" for having most of her work incomplete.
Santana and Brittany were jarring to the friendship of Rachel, Noah, and Quinn.
While before, the three of them would spend their afternoons, weekends, and school breaks running around the backyard, swimming, or dancing in the basement, Quinn was suddenly getting permission to walk to the candy store or the mall with Santana, Britt, and Santana's older brother, Gabriel.
Noah and Rachel were left at home, not wanting to go, because Noah said playing his guitar while Rachel sang was more fun than going to the mall with girls.
And now…
Now it is 6 years later. They are teenagers and in high school and have more things to worry about than spelling tests, multiplication worksheets, or learning how to research on the internet for papers.
Rachel should have known, really, back then that, one day, there would come a time where the popularity meant something more to Quinn, Santana, Britt, and/or Noah, than it did to Rachel, and they would drift a part.
She just never knew that they would treat her the way they do.
(post Showmance but pre-Acafellas)
Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
*Lunchtime – Choir room*
It isn't until lunch two days later that anyone comes to see her.
Rachel is still rather…off put…from how her interaction on Monday with Quinn ended. She knows she should probably be over it by now, even Mercedes and Kurt has told her that they knew the Unholy Trinity did not have good intentions when they approached her last Monday.
She really thought the roses meant something. They always meant something to Quinn and Rachel.
Unfortunately, for her, Kurt and Mercedes are not above doing the whole we told you so spiel.
That is why she is here, in the Choir room, and not with them in the lunchroom.
No one came to see her yesterday. She waited the whole lunch period, unsure if she was happy or disappointed at the lack of the Unholy Trinity by the end of it.
10 minutes.
And that is why she is surprised when Santana up ten minutes after the bell.
She hides her apprehension with snarkiness, taking a page from Santana's book.
"What? Quinn didn't succeed enough, so you had to come here to cut me down, as well?"
Santana inwardly winces at the bite in Rachel's tone, and realizes this conversation probably should have happened yesterday.
"Rach…" She sighs, watching as Rachel ignore her and goes to the piano. "Look, I know that Q screwed up Monday, and I – she – is sorry about it, okay?"
"Then why do I not see her here, Santana? Why is it, if she said it, and she is sorry, that she is not here, apologizing?"
8 minutes.
"Because you're like her Kryptonite," Santana says, not quiet in a snapping tone, but close to it. And any other time, Rachel would comment on the fact that Santana made a Superhero reference.
She stays silent, though.
"Because if she were here, then you being pissed off would be exactly what she does not need. Because she would break and she would tell you everything, and we can't do that yet."
Rachel spins around at that, throwing her booklet on the piano, the slapping sound bouncing around the room.
"And why not?" She snaps. "Why can you not tell me, huh? The way I see it, it is very simple – you start off with, 'Rachel, please sit down.' And then, you go on to explain why the hell you have called me names and ordered Slushies and treated me like I wasn't your best friend for nearly two fucking years with you and Brittany, and three times that with Q and Noah, before all of this even started!"
Santana stays quiet during the Diva's rant, and tries to digest everything. She knows that it was a long shot, her and Q and Britt coming to Rachel like that they did last week. And she understands that Quinn basically reset their progress with calling her Manhands on Monday, but…
Knowing that getting pissed off, and replying to her rant with snapping is not going to work, she decides on being soft…something she hates doing at school.
"Rachel," She sighs. "Look, I don't have long, and I know that you probably do not want to listen, and hell, I can't make you, but please, just hear me out, ok? And then, if you want nothing to do with us; if you want Q and Britt and I to leave you alone during lunch, then we will. Just…just hear me out first, all right? You don't have much to lose, I promise."
Rachel is silent for a few moments, and Santana fears that she may have lost her chance before it was even there to begin with, but then she is nodding and Santana relaxes, and she takes a second to gather her thoughts.
5 minutes.
"Okay, I want to start out by saying, I am sorry. And there are so many things that it could pertain to, but right now, I am sorry for calling you those names." Rachel begins playing notes on the piano, slowly enough that she can still listen to Santana.
"It hurts to do it, Rach, and I know you don't believe me, – and that's all right – but it does. It affects me, and it affects Q, and god does it affect Britt."
"Next, I would like to say that…. There are so many things that have gone wrong in the past 4 years. You were my best friend. I considered you to be like a little sister, even though you are a full month and 6 days older than I am."
Rachel slows down to almost a full stop on playing notes, the words having a bigger effect on her than she'd like.
"What we have done, it is horrible. And really, you giving us a chance, and…and seeing us during lunch is miracle in itself – we really do not deserve it. You are giving a part of yourself to us again, and we are going to try so hard not to take advantage of it."
2 minutes.
"We will explain everything. We will explain why we are ordering Slushies, and why we call you names, and at the end, we will be so thankful of whatever chance or part of your friendship you may give us, and if you do not, then we will understand."
Santana sighs, knowing she does not have long.
"There are so many outside factors as to why. And Rach, you have to know, that if we had it our way, then you would be walking beside in the hall. And you would be on our list of people to call when we are bored on a Friday night, and – god, Rach, I know you have no reason to believe this – but we would stand up and we would kick anyone's who hurt you ass."
Her phone vibrates, but Santana silences it; she has one last thing she really needs to say…
"Rachel, I want you to know that Quinn is very sorry for how she reacted to you on Monday. She would not tell us anything other than calling you… well, that…and she was very upset. She was afraid that if she came again, you would send her away without letting her apologize. I don't know what happened for her to react that way, but what I do know, is that she is sorry for it."
2 minutes over.
"I have to go now, ok? We…" She sighs deeply, because Rachel hasn't said anything and she can't get on a read on her, to know if everything she has just said affected her positively or not.
She starts for the door. "I guess we will see you this afternoon in Glee."
Just as Santana goes to twist the doorknob, Rachel's voice finally rings out in the now quiet room.
"T?..." Santana glances over her shoulder, to see her once best friend looking at her. "I'll see one of you tomorrow?"
And that is all the confirmation the Latina needs, as she nods, leaves the room, and heads to the cafeteria to make Quinn promise not to screw up again.
Thursday, August 20th, 2009
*Lunchtime*
Santana really is amazing.
It's what Quinn thinks, as she goes to the Choir room on Thursday.
She opens the door and then stops, lingering in the doorway, watching as Rachel goes about doing what she does.
It only takes a few seconds, but she is frowning as she notices Rachel tense up once she realizes she is not alone in the room, and she silently curses herself for what happened Monday, because they were doing so well, and then she had to go and screw it up.
"Hello, Quinn," Rachel greets without look up, and Quinn takes that as her cue to enter the room.
Santana is giving her 15 minutes today, even though she knows she probably shouldn't, because she understands that 10 minutes will not be enough for Quinn and Rachel.
Quinn moves closer, still keeping her distance, but she does say, "Hi." And watches as the Diva looks up.
She sees the conflicting emotions flitting over face – anger, defeat, confusion over… something… and that protective mask that is now sliding down so Quinn is no longer able to get a read on her.
"I don't think we have ever done three at a time before," Rachel is saying, and it confuses the hell out of Quinn for about 3 seconds, until she realizes that Rachel's gaze is on her hand, the same hand that is holding 3 red roses, the color of which means I'm sorry, to the two girls.
It's an icebreaker, and Quinn relaxes, even if just so, and she moves forward to the piano.
Neither seems to know what to say and they watch each other for a few moments. Quinn tries not to squirm under Rachel's attentive gaze, and she nearly flinches when Rachel stands and moves towards her, stopping a few inches from her.
"Hello."
Rachel smiles at her, and she relaxes, feeling a world of difference in her anxiety levels, as she breathes out, "Hi…"
"May I hug you?" The Diva asks her and Quinn tries not to look too eager when she nods and lets Rachel wrap her arms around her.
She grips the roses and then hugs Rachel, burying her face in Rachel neck, and they stay this way for several minutes.
"I'm really sorry, Star," Quinn whispers. Rachel sighs and pulls and Quinn panics for a second before she is being pulled by her hand to the piano bench and the two sit down.
"I know, Quinn" She holds the roses out to Rachel.
"I'll have Britt put a cup of water in your locker," Quinn tells her as she watches the Diva smell the three roses. "And, I'll do…better…at not doing that again." She says, wanting to get something out of this visit.
"Calling me names, you mean?" Rachel clarifies, and although there's no bite to it, Quinn still feels it, wincing as she looks away.
"Yeah, that."
"I wasn't saying it to upset you, Angel." Rachel assures her, the nickname hurting more than it should.
She knows Rachel should not have to say it in the first place, and that's exactly what she tells her.
"I know. I don't want to have to say it, but until you three tell me whatever it you need to tell me, it's needed." She lays the roses on top of the piano and then turns to face Quinn.
"What you said Monday, it's not okay, and I know you know that. And… it will never be okay, but," She pauses here, to take Quinn's hand and tug on it until the blonde is looking at her.
"I'm not mad about that anymore, LuLu, okay? I need you to understand that before I continue, alright?" She pauses and stays quiet until Quinn is nodding, and is able to hold eye contact with Rachel.
"Yes, it upset me, and no, I didn't want to listen to Santana yesterday, but I did so anyway. Please don't make me regret that decision."
Rachel can feel Quinn pulling away, first with her hand, and then with her body language, so she holds tight, and she stresses one particular thing, "Don't do that. Please. I'm not saying this to lecture you, Angel, but I do need you to listen to what I have to say, okay?"
She thinks it because of the nicknames, it's the first time in years she has used either one, and is probably the only thing that is keeping Quinn from shutting down, from becoming Quinn Fabray, Head Bitch in Charge.
She isn't sure, though, so she continues quickly, "We are all going to work on whatever it is that has happened. I am hoping that, we will be able to discuss it in length one day, so I know the whys and the what happens, okay? I would like to be your friend again. And I would like to be San and Britt's friend again."
She stays quiet, to let Quinn think the words over, and she hopes that the girl reciprocates in how she feels, because she really would like to get the friendship she once had with Quinn and Santana and Brittany back again.
Throughout all of this, Noah has remained a party who did not get involved, at Rachel's request, but once everything is (hopefully) situated with the girls, she knows they can all begin repairing their friendships with each other.
"One day, Star," Quinn whispers finally. "One day, we are going to explain everything." She looks up at Rachel. Her eyes are tired, and the Diva understands in that moment, that whatever is going on, it has taken a toll on the Cheerio, and she is just… done with it all.
For some reason, though, she is being prevented from telling Rachel the truth, and while Rachel may not understand that herself, she does realize that right now, she is looking into the eyes of Lucy Fabray, her best friend, the girl who did everything in her power to protect Rachel when they were children.
"I hope you give us the chance," The blonde whispers again. "It won't be easy, Star, but we all want it to happen. Please just…" She looks down, her gaze catching Rachel's necklace, and she reaches up for it, running her thumb over the star.
"Please just be patient, okay?"
Rachel nods, struck by the moment, unable to speak, and she tries so hard to understand, because she just knows that there is something being said here, a kind of between-the-lines something, and she just cannot…figure it out.
There it is! Also, I know I made a Superman reference but… it was the only thing I could think of. I mean, it's true, because if Rachel pushed a little too much, Quinn would spill everything, and that cannot happen (yet).
As of right now, tentatively, the chapter that will reveal everything is chapter 10. However, this is subject to change.
Please review and let me know what you thought! :)
