Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or its characters. I do not own the song or the lyrics to Make You Feel My Love. All properties belong to their rightful owners.
Spoilers: None
Rating: T/minor M

Reply to reviews: (chapter 23)

Isa Yodice12: Thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Gabriel is going to going to be older than San, although he is not in the Army. But someone is in the Army, however, and it is revealed in this chapter! Hope you enjoy this one, as well. :)

Thank you to the others who reviewed! I appreciate it. :) And welcome to my new followers Isa Yodice12 (favoriter), mooriver, and AnniexLove. And my new favoriter JDubReaderWriter55.


Notes: The girls go back to school in this one. It's Veterans Day and you are introduced to several more OCs. Also, this has some Will/Quinn interaction for chloe2007. I hope you like it! :)

Notes 2: Literally the only reason this was not up sooner is because I keep ADDING THINGS TO MY CHAPTERS. I had this ready to go at 6,700 words, but, as you see, it is much longer.

Reminders: Miranda is Santana's baby sister. Her nickname is Andie. Matthew is her brother, his nickname is Mattie.

Trigger Warning: I probably should have been doing this already, but Quinn has a major and detailed anxiety attack, which progresses into a panic attack, from halfway thru to the end. Please read with caution if this is something that is triggering for you to read about. I will have it marked with ***

In honor of getting 80 followers, and this being my longest chapter yet, here it is...

Enjoy! :)


Wednesday, November 11th, 2009


*McKinley High School*

Rachel's dads drop the girls and Noah off on Wednesday. They meet Finn and Mike in the parking lot. They are going for just a half-day today, tomorrow, and Friday. Quinn did not want to stay home any longer, but Josiah and David did want to send her for a full day.

They have had a long, long week. And that is all it has been – 5 days since last Friday.

The group walks to the front doors of McKinley and then stop.

Santana addresses them all…

"All right, listen up. Here it is one more time: Rach, your and Q's schedules have not been adapted yet. We are going to see how well she does with your regular schedule of just three classes together.

"Rachel is wearing Quinn's Letterman. Listen, Estrella, Coach has put you under our protection, but you have to do your part, alright? You wear that jacket during the day, got it? You can take it off during class, I'm sure there will be at least one that is too warm to have it on. Just make sure it the first thing you put on before you leave. Alright?"

Rachel nods her understanding.

"Good. Next up: Finn, Puck, Mike – Britt and I cannot be with them at all times. So, your job is to meet us after each class and walk them to their classes if or when we are unable to – this includes classes they have together, in which only one of you will have to walk them, and also when they are going to separate classes."

The boys nod their own understanding.

"We are going until lunch. Rachel's daddy, that is Josiah, is going to come check us out. However, Puck, you, Finn, and Mike are going to stay the whole day. We are going to try this for today, and if it goes well, we will continue it through Friday. Then we will try to go for the whole day next Monday."

Santana breathes out and then nods towards Rachel. She tilts her head in Santana's direction, before saying,

"San, Britt, and I have been given permission to have our phones on us at all times. Noah, Finn, Michael – if something happens with Q, and we are not there with her, call one of us. I hope to god that the situation will not arise but if it does, please, please do not touch her. Okay?"

She looks to the boys, making sure she has their entire attention. "When she–… When Q is upset, the best thing you can do is to not touch her. Noah, I know you know this. Finn, you probably know it as well…"

"Yeah, I learned the hard way," The boy mutters, looking down at his feet. He remembers how badly Quinn reacted when she was stressed out over Cheerios, something her father had said, and being aggravated at something he did.

Finn tried to calm her by… hugging her or doing something, but learned quickly that touching her when she is upset unless she initiated it, was a very bad idea.

Noah already knows this because he grew up with the two girls. Quinn is a lot like him – she does not like to appear weak, especially somewhere public like at school or a friend's house. So the hugging and "normal" kinds of comfort was a no-go for her.

So Rachel just looks to Mike, who is trying to mask how overwhelmed he is feeling; he knows he cannot back out now, not when he promised Britt and Rachel and Santana that he would help. Not when he agreed to be on Noah and Finn's side of protecting the girls.

"Michael, thank you so much for agreeing to help us today," The Diva gentle says. "If you happen upon Quinn in the hallway or in one of your classes with her, and she seems particularly… upset or unresponsive, just as quietly as you can, get her to a room alone – the girls' bathroom, an empty classroom, or Miss Pillsbury's office – and then call one of us. Okay?"

"I understand, Rachel." He says firmly after a moment's hesitation.

Rachel nods her own understanding back to him and then turns to address the group one last time.

"Any questions?"

The boys had come over last night and the seven of them had a long discussion and details were given about what was going to happen, such as with Rachel and the slushying (they have been called off), Quinn and Rachel are going to be in separate classes (as a trial run), things have happened and Quinn may need to randomly leave class, etc.

No one says anything, shaking their heads 'no' to Rachel's question. She sighs and looks to Santana. The Latina nods to her once, before linking pinkies with Britt (Rachel takes Q's hand), and Noah and Mike open the doors for them.

They all walk in, and the Unholy Trinity gets into their regular "formation" of how they walk down the halls. The only differences are Rachel being with them, in a Letterman jacket, along with the boys, and Quinn being out of her Cheerios uniform.

This gets quite a few different kinds of reactions. The normal one is the crowd parting for the three girls. Several, if not all of the students, also look at a loss as to why the school's biggest loser, Rachel Berry, as well as three football players are walking with them.

They head towards their homerooms, and afterward, the boys leave them to go off to their lockers while the Unholy Trinity and Rachel go to their own.

:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/

*Rachel's locker*

As Rachel puts in her combo to the lock, Santana, Britt, and Quinn fall to the side of her, with Q on her left, and the two on her right.

They keep watch, in particular for any football players who want to slushie her, even though it would be going against the cheerleading coach's orders.

Once she has the appropriate books/classwork, Rachel shuts her locker, turning to the three girls.

She blows out a breath, and nods to herself, before addressing them as a whole, "Alright, so, game plan one more time?"

"I have first period with you," Brittany answers. "S and Q have first together also. After that, we meet up here. We get our books, and Finn, who I have second period with, will walk me to class while you, S, and Q go to your own shared second period."

Rachel nods to that. Then, Santana picks up where B left off… "After second period, I have third period with you and Puck, while Britt has it with Q. Finn and/or Mike will walk them to class."

"Fourth period we all have a free class. Our teachers are allowing us to go to the Library to work on our assignments. I have it with B and Q. You have it with…"

"Michael and Noah…"

"Mike and Puck, right. We will go to our class, tell the teachers we are here, and then meet you back here at your locker, and walk to the Library together."

As the girls get ready to separate, Noah comes running up to them. He's panting, obviously having run from somewhere far away.

As he tries to catch his breath, he rasps out, "Today is… the… eleventh."

It dawns on them then that… they have no classes this morning. Today is November 11, also known as, Veterans' Day. Their school always has an assembly in the morning and until lunch, where students invite their family members who served overseas.

They give speeches, talk about their time in the war, show off their medals, and then have lunch with the kids. Classes resume in the afternoon.

Rachel throws her hands up in the air and then proceeds to reopen her locker and place her books and binder inside.

"We might as well leave our bags here," She says, trying to fit hers in there. It's a tight fit, one that only works once Quinn's bag is removed, all their books are out and restacked, and then the locker is slammed shut.

Brittany and Santana go to their own lockers to do the same thing. It seems none of them were listening in Homeroom when the teachers and kids were all talking about who is going to be at the Assembly.

Just as they are getting ready to walk towards the gym, Santana hears someone calling her name. She turns to see her parents and little siblings coming down the hallway.

"Santi!" This is Maya. She breaks away from her father to run towards her older sister, who she has not seen properly in several days because Santana has been spending the night at Rachel's house.

Santana catches her in a hug, playing like the little girl is 10 times stronger than she really is, and almost knocked her over.

"Woah there, Little M! Look at you; have you grown since I last saw you?" Maya giggles at her sister's words. "Britt, doesn't she look like she's grown to you?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely! I'd say…" Brittany stands back, "sizing" Maya up. Then she looks to Santana, "3… 4 inches."

Maya giggles at their antics. She may be nine now, but she is still a kid who loves when people joke around with her. "You're silly, Santi! I haven't grown any!"

Santana smiles at the younger girl. "Well, it must be my eyes playing tricks on me then!" She lowers herself in front of Maya then, whispering, "You know who else would love a hug from you?"

Maya shakes her head, confused, and Santana gestures to behind them and to the side, where Rachel is still standing with Quinn and Noah, the taller boy having Matthew on his shoulders while Rachel is holding Andie.

Maya turns around, looking over the bunch of kids until her eyes hit the one person who she has not seen in four years.

As soon as she recognizes the Diva, she is shooting across the hallway, and Rachel has just enough time to hand off Miranda to Quinn before the nine-year-old is barreling into her.

"Hi, Tiá Estrella!" Maya greets happily and Rachel chuckles.

"Hello, babydoll. I think your sister is correct – you have grown since I last saw you."

She gets a giggle at this, as Maya enthusiastically tells her, "I've grown a lot! I'm almost as big as you are, Tiá Estrella!"

It's true. Maya has grown to be just under a foot shorter than the Diva. She marvels at this. So much was lost in those four years, but she is thankful now because she gets to see her best friend's little siblings continue growing up.

"Yes, you are, aren't you? You have grown so much." She wraps her in another hug. "I've missed you, babydoll."

"Hey, guys." Noah waves for their attention, gesturing with his phone. "That was Mike. We need to hurry up if we want to sit together at the Assembly."

Rachel nods at this and ushers everyone towards the gym. They get situated – Santana's parents sit with Britt's parents while the girls follow Noah up to the top of the bleachers, to where Finn and Mike have saved them some seats.

Brittany and Santana run off to change into their uniforms, meeting up with Sue, who nods approvingly at them, while Quinn, of course, stays with Rachel.

The littler kids – Maya, Matthew, and Andie – follow the girls. It's a tight squeeze, but with Maya sitting in between Finn and Noah, Quinn to Noah's right, beside Rachel, Andie in Rachel's lap with Matthew to her right, and Mike on the other side of Matthew, they are able to make due.


*15 minutes later*

Rachel is the first to see him, although she does not really recognize him right away. She is busy keeping Miranda entertained by bouncing her knee.

It is a chance thing, her looking up, her eyes just so happening to land on him. She is sure the man is who she thinks. She has not met him in person, but is familiar with him and what he does through photos that Finn has shown her.

Her knee pauses in its bouncing, and she shoots her arm to grasp Quinn's wrist, whispering frantically at the same time, "Noah!"

She taps something out on Quinn's wrist. The blonde understands the taps and presses immediately, but it takes her a moment to actually comprehend what it is Rachel is saying to her.

(Finn's brother is here).

Her eyes go wide when it sinks in, and her head snaps up to look at the line of men and women who are sitting on the gym floor, all wearing their Army or Navy, etc. uniforms.

Meanwhile, Noah has looked over, worried at the tone of voice Rachel used.

This time, she actually whispers, "Do you see him?!" She tries to keep her voice low enough so Finn does not hear her

Noah shakes his head at her, and she sighs before turning to Mike.

"Michael, will you please take Andie for just a moment?" The toddler girl goes happily to him and Rachel immediately turns back Quinn and Noah.

"Noah," She has to practically grit her teeth to keep from alerting Finn to anything going on. "Do you see the older gentleman on the floor, with the cane?"

She really wants to smack him with the boy comes back with a smart-aleck response of, "Rach, there are a lot of 'older gentlemen with a cane'. You're gonna have to be specific."

She really wants to smack him, even though she is not one for violence, but the chance is taken from her by Quinn, who flicks him on the side of his forehead, eliciting an immediate, "Ow! Ok, ok, I'm sorry!…"

He mumbles a few more words and then, "But seriously, you're gonna have to be more specific. Please." He adds the last part at Quinn's glare, holding his hands in up, in defense or to block her from flicking him again, or maybe both, Rachel isn't for sure.

There are enough people out there that some are sitting while others are grouped around in various spots.

"The gentleman in green camo uniform, with dark brown hair, a blue cane, and the black puppy sitting next to him, over by the door…" She waits for it, and when he acknowledges that he has found the guy, she says, "Three spots to the right of him…"

She has to wait for several moments, as Noah gets confused and looks to the man's right side before realizing Rachel meant their right. He counts it… 1, 2…

And there he is. In a mix of both old and young, men and women, there he is

Before either of them can say anything else, Principal Figgins comes to the center of the floor, to where the microphone is. He announces that the Cheerios have a routine prepared for this event.

Matthew, Maya, and even Andie watch in awe as the girls jump and flip and preform, Rachel pointing out and commenting on what Andie's big sister is doing. 10 minutes later, and Figgins is back, this time, he has an even more special announcement.

"I would like to, at this time, ask for the following people to please come down to the floor… Mr. Finn Hudson…"

The boy snaps his head up from where he was speaking with Maya, looking confused, before Noah is gesturing and Rachel is urging him to go, go!

As he makes his way down the steps of the bleachers, he meets up with his mom, Carol, and little sister, 4-year-old Alex.

They go over to Principal Figgins.

"Just stand right here… yes. Okay. Now, before we get to the special surprise, I have a few questions." Carol oks it, looking confused. It is obvious she has no idea what is about to happen.

"You have a son, yes?" Figgins asks. "An older son?"

"Um… yes, sir. He is currently deployed with the Marines."

"His name is Jordan!" Alex pipes up and Figgins holds the microphone down for her so the audience can hear. "He is 19 and he lives all the way on the other side of the ocean! I really miss him though. I hope he gets to come home for Thanksgiving."

Figgins nods along, saying, "Well, I think we may be able to help with that." Obviously, the little girl is confused by this, but he continues, "If you will please looks towards the exit…"

They do.

There are gasps here and there, as everyone realizes just what is about to happen.

Alex is the first to spot him, even before the other men and women are moving out of his way so he can walk onto the court.

"BUBBA!"

She scrambles over to him, nearly tripping, and flings her tiny body into his arms. Jordan catches her easily, lifting her up before moving onwards towards his little brother and his mom.

Carol breaks down in tears as Jordan wraps his arms around her, holding tightly and kissing the top of her head. He looks at Finn, who is trying to be strong but joins the hug.

"I missed you, Bubba!" Alex whispers and gets a, "I missed you, too, babygirl." back.

Up on the bleachers, it is apparent that Maya and Matthew recognize Jordan as Maya begs, "Can I go down, too? Please, Tiá Estrella, please, please?"

"Of course! Go on. Be careful on the steps!"

Maya is joined by Matthew and the two run across the court, latching onto this young man.

"Uncle Jordan! You're home!"

"You came back!"

"How long are you staying, Uncle Jordan?"

"Can I spend the night wif you, por favor?"

"Did you bring any presents for us this time?"

"Are you staying til for Thanksgiving? Oh! What about Christmas? Are you staying til then?"

Picking both Mattie and Alex up, Jordan chuckles at all the questions, saying, "Let's go sit over here, ok? Then I will answer whatever questions you might have."

:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/

It's later and almost lunchtime when the assembly finally ends. There were tons of people who came up of spoke of their time serving, either before and long ago, or currently and at the moment.

Kids came up with their relatives and pictures were shown on the projector as were their Medals of Honor.

Soon, it is time for lunch so everyone goes to stand up and exit the gym. Kids are walking with their parents, siblings, grandparents, little kids are running around, and others are messing around being silly.

Rachel, Quinn, Mike, and Noah wait up on the bleachers for the students and parents and kids to clear off being they begin making their way down.

This is so they can stay together and also make sure that Quinn is not caught up in the rush of people, pushing and shoving, because of her back, which is still sensitive, but also because she hates when this happens, and she can't find a clear escape path out of the crowd.

However, no matter how hard they try to be the last and in the back of the crowd, it is really inevitable that it happens.

Between people being slow and grouping up behind them, pushing and shoving, and rushing in between them, Rachel is pulled away at some point by Finn and she loses her grip on Quinn when some idiot eleventh-grader shoves in between them.

They get lost in the mass of people, and before she knows it, Rachel is standing with Finn, his brother, mom, and little sister, and the boys, Santana, Britt, and most importantly, Quinn, are nowhere to be seen.

"Rach!" Finn tugs on her hand and she turns to him, "I want you to meet my big brother, Jordan."

She looks away, tiptoeing up to try and find Quinn, but there are a multitude of people with blonde hair so it is not as easy as she had hoped. Instead, she looks for the red and white uniforms that she knows Santana and Brittany are wearing.

"Rachel?" She feels the tug again and this time, she properly looks at Finn. She knows it is rude to keep ignoring him, so she turns to him and just hopes that Quinn was not separated from Mike or Noah, and that she is ok…

"Rach, this is my mom, Carol." Finn is saying, and she smiles politely.

"Hello, Mrs. Hudson. I am Rachel Berry, and it is a pleasure to meet you."

Carol smiles, taken aback slightly by how polite she is. Quinn was also well-mannered, albeit also very quiet, whenever she would come over to Finn's house, and Carol wishes that more teenagers had the respectful attitude that both girls seem to have.

"It is nice to mee you, honey, and please, call me Carol."

Alex is the one to speak next, giggling as she tugs on Rachel's shirt, and says, "You talk funny!"

Rachel bends down, "I talk funny? Well, maybe it's you that talks funny!" She punctuates this by tickling the little girl's sides, causing her to squeal in laughter. "What's your name, piccolo anatroccolo?"

Alex's eyes widen, "My name is Alexandra, but you can call me Alex." Then she whispers in awe, "You called me little duckling."

Surprised that she knew what she had said, Rachel nods, "Yes, I did."

"You can speak 'Talian, too?"

"I do speak Italian," Rachel taps her on the nose at the word do.

"Did Auntie B teach you, too?"

"No, actually a little boy that she teaches dance to taught me."

Alex gasps then, "You know Carson?" At Rachel's nod, she looks up at her mother, "Mamma, she knows Carson, too!" Then back to Rachel, "He is my pwesool class. He's my best friend!"

"Really? Well, that's awesome!"

Hearing a chuckle, Rachel looks up and realizes that she was quite rude to have basically ignored the others standing beside her.

"Oh, I am sorry," As she stands up, Alex hugs her around the waist, and she places a hand on the top of the little girl's head. "How rude of me. You must be Jordan, Finn's brother. It's nice to meet, and I would like to thank you for your service."

Jordan smiles back, taking the hand Rachel is holding out. "And it is a pleasure to meet you, as well, Rachel."


*Meanwhile – in the hallway outside the gym*

*** TW starts here as a precaution

"Shit!"

It is Noah that yells it as soon as they are cleared of the gym and separated from the large groups of people making their way to the cafeteria.

He looks over to see Mike and knows the boy is thinking the same – Quinn is here and Rachel is not.

This is not a good thing…

"Do you see her?" Noah mouths to Mike but his hands twist up into fists when the boy just shakes his head. He looks over to his left, to where Quinn is sitting on a bench, looking incredibly stressed out and anxious.

He takes off his Letterman jacket, and comes over to the blonde, putting it around her. She meets his eye and he has to take a moment to swallow past the lump in his throat.

Noah bends down in front of her, her eyes following him, and he knows, no matter how strong she is trying to be right now, that she is moments away from breaking.

He sees the same anxiety and fear swirling around in her eyes as he did on Monday when the girls were late getting home, and he knows exactly what the cause of it is this time.

"We are going to find her, ok? Mike!" He turns slightly. "Call Britt. Keep calling until you get an answer. I will try Santana again."

As soon as the phone is pressed against his ear, he whispers, "I'm sure she's fine, babe, okay? She probably just got lost in the crowd and is on her way here. Ok? There were a lot of people pushing and shoving us, and she probably got shoved to the side and couldn't get way her back to us."

He does not add in that she may also be actually in trouble. That some idiot football player might have been stupid enough to think he could get away with something like slushying Rachel, even after the Order of Protection was placed on her by Sue Sylvester.

There is always that one fucking idiot who thinks that as long as he or she gives the excuse of "teaching a loser a lesson" then they won't be punished for slushying Rachel.

Quinn does need him to voice these thoughts, however. He is sure her mind is making up scenarios that are bad enough…


*Emma's office*

5 minutes and several voicemails later, Mike and Noah have Quinn in Emma's office. The blonde was getting too worked up sitting out in the hallway. By now, Santana and Brittany have answered their phones and are on the hunt for Rachel.

They realize it was a stupid idea to agree to Rachel leaving her phone in her backpack, which is in her locker, but in their defense, they honestly did not see this happening.

Emma called Will and told him what is happening to Quinn and he came down immediately. This is where he is right now, as Emma also speaks with Sue, telling her to be on the lookout for Rachel.

"Quinn," Will bends down in front of her, remembering to not touch her and to leave enough space that she can scoot away if needed. "It's going to be all right. We have everyone looking for Rachel. Santana and Brittany, Miss Pillsbury, even Sue is looking for her."

Quinn looks at him and he is struck by the amount of fear he sees in her eyes. This must be what Rachel talking about on Monday – this need that Quinn suddenly has to always know where her friend is, and the fear and anxiety that comes with the not knowing.

He whispers, "Oh, honey," forgetting for a moment that he is the teacher and she is the student. "It's going to be ok, Quinn. I know those words do not mean much right now, but I promise, it will be ok. Do you–… Can you call her? Does–… Does she have her phone?"

It's Noah who answers, however, the boy startling Will. "We tried that," He is saying. "She left her phone in her locker, so it doesn't do us much good."

Will nods, looking back to Quinn who is watching out of the office door. He then glances up at Noah.

"This is what Rachel meant, isn't it?" At Noah's confused look, he explains, "When she said that Quinn needs to know where she is at all times and that she will panic if she does not know. It…"

He sighs, inwardly beating himself up because, as much as he hates to admit it, he really thought Rachel was just being overdramatic, as is usual with her. Even when she said that it was the truth, he really thought she was… just exaggerating.

*** TW detailed from here until the end.

But the fear in Quinn's eyes that is making his stomach churn unpleasantly cues him into realizing that the Diva meant every last word to their very fullest of meaning.

"Yes," Noah sits – more like falls, really – in the seat beside Quinn. "I don't know where the hell Berry is, but wherever she is, she better hurry up and get the fuck down here."

"Language, Puck," Will reprimands halfheartedly, getting a dismissive shrug in response.

"She is only one that can calm Quinn if this turns into an actual panic attack." He looks worriedly to Quinn, who is now staring down at her hands, listening to their conversation, wishing she could say something and trying to stem the panic as the seconds tick by and Rachel continues to not appear.

:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/:/

There's a noise outside and it startles everyone, and they turn to see Santana standing there, panting. "We got her. She's on her way, should be here any second."

Noah is up and out of the office in the next second, followed by Quinn. Will hears snippets of the explanation the Latina is giving her friends, something about Finn and Rachel and his brother Jordan.

Will hears Rachel's voice from down the hall and the next several moments flash by rapidly. The Diva barely makes it inside the doorway before Quinn literally crashes into her, and Rachel is staggering backwards, being caught by Santana and Brittany.

"Inside, LuLu," She is saying, "Go backwards, ok?"

Once inside, Noah has to help Rachel get Quinn to the couch that is now in there, – Emma had one placed in here on Monday, – and they force her to sit down, even as her grip on Rachel is white-knuckled.

"Respira, il mio coraggioso leone," Rachel whispers while sitting in the chair that Noah has pulled over directly to in front of Quinn. "I'm ok… I promise. I am so sorry, babygirl. I was caught up with Finn and his brother and mom and little sister. I just couldn't get away, I'm sorry, Quinn, I am so, so sorry."

Rachel tries to pull back, to get a good look at her face, but it is hard to with Quinn not budging at all. She can feel the tears, though, and so she whispers…

"Hi there, Lucy-Lue. I love you, you know that? I love you and I am so proud of you for coming to school today."

It is quiet. An uneasy type of silence where the only sound is Quinn taking large gulps of air, or, at least, trying to do that.

Rachel decides to do the needed things in steps. First, she takes the cuff of Noah's Letterman jacket, which Quinn is currently wearing, and tugs at it.

"Would you like to take this off?" She gets a nod in return and quickly tugs both sleeves, discarding it to the side.

Will feels like he is invading a personal moment but at the same time, he cannot just leave them. They are only 15 for god's sake, and he cannot force himself to walk out of this room and leave these three… kids by themselves.

But at the same time…

"What can I do, Rachel?"

He waits. She does not respond right away and he wonders if he made the right decision by asking that. Finally, Rachel turns away from Quinn slightly…

"Can you get me a bottle of water for her, please? And then maybe just… just wait outside? I can usually calm her down within a few minutes but if this time is different, I will need someone to call my dads."

Will nods and immediately leaves the office, going straight to the Teacher's Lounge to get a cold bottle of water from the fridge. He also speaks with Emma and Sue, along with Finn, Mike, Britany, and Santana.

He hands the water bottle to Noah, and then takes a seat in one of the chairs in the office, sighing deeply, and scrubbing his hands over his face.

"I need you to focus on my voice, LuLu, okay? Can you do that?"

She thinks if she can stem it now, get her to focus and calm down, that this will be just an anxiety attack and it won't work itself up into an actual panic attack.

But as Rachel repeats this, quietly encouraging her to just focus on my voice and breathe, LuLu, she realizes that it will not be that simple. Rachel curses herself, for getting separated, for being pulled away and distracted by Finn and his family.

God, if only she had tried harder to stay with everyone…

Will watches in astonishment as he gets a first-hand look at this new Quinn Fabray. Her literally clinging to Rachel. He can hear her gasping for air, and it hurts, deep inside of him, to witness one the strongest students he knows to be broken down into an absolute mess of tears and gaspings for air, and all because…

… Rachel was out of her sight for 10 minutes?

Obviously, he does have the understanding to the degree of which he believed he did of everything that the girls told him on Monday.

Even in her state of panic, Quinn is still able to tap out a message on the back of Rachel's neck, where her arms are looped – (I can't breathe.)

Will has no idea what was said, or even if those random taps mean anything. It's obvious that, to Rachel, they do, as she is immediately responding to whatever was said with,

"I know, LuLu. I know, but it is going to be ok, alright? I promise. You remember? It just feels bad, that is all, but you are not actually in danger."

Quinn taps something out again, but Will is not able to make any sense of what looks to be random movements with her fingertips…

(You were hurt.)

She trials her fingers up and down Quinn's arm, slightly in a rough way, trying to get Quinn to focus on that feeling and sensation rather than all the bad thoughts swirling around in her head.

"No, baby, I wasn't. I promise I was not hurt, okay?"

(But Chucky said–)

"Chucky is wrong, Quinn." She cuts her off, snatching the hand up that is doing the tapping, and bringing to in between them. She squeezes her fingers in emphasis, "Okay? Whatever he is telling you, right now, earlier, even later, it is all lies. You know that, baby. You do. And I know you do."

Now Will wonders who this Chucky person is… a parent? Another adult? How is it that this Chucky can scare Quinn this much, by telling her Rachel was being hurt?

He is brought out his thoughts when the mixture of crying and gulping for air turns into hyperventilating, which soon leads to Quinn coughing, the telltale sign of a panic arrack is coming on.

"No, no, no. Angel, listen, okay? Listen to me… it is going to be ok. I just need you to focus on my voice, ok? You've got to breathe, LuLu," Rachel urges.

"You are so strong, leone coraggioso. You are one of the strongest and bravest people I know. And right now, I need you to show just how strong you are, okay? I need you to focus on my voice, try to pick it out of everything else you are hearing."

Rachel reaches for one of Quinn's braids, taking the green rubber bands off the end of the left braid. She undoes it, unbraiding then shaking it out, and doing the same with the right one.

"I'm going to pull your hair up, ok?" She shakes the curls out then gathers her blonde locks into a messy bun. "There. Off your neck. Okay?"

"Now, I need you to do me a big favor – just listen to my voice, ok? Just… focus on my voice…"

She takes one Quinn's hands, which are now holding tight to her wrists, "Place your hand on my belly, right here, LuLu… Feel that? Try to match it with your breathing, okay?"

Rachel takes exaggerated slow, deep breaths, holding the blonde's hand on her belly while her other reaches for Quinn's face.

"In… and out. Everything is going to be ok. You are here, with me, you are safe. Noah is here also. But you are safe, and no one is going to make you do anything you do not want to do…"

"In… and out, LuLu. Try to match to mine. Focus on my voice. It's ok… you are ok. In… and out. Breathe, Angel."

Quinn seems to be… not hearing her and Rachel feels her heart breaking with each gasp of air that her best friend struggles to take in. The hand that was left on Rachel's wrist is tapping out a serious of movements - (I'm sorry.) over and over again.

Rachel shakes her head, telling her each time the word sorry is tapped out that she has nothing to be sorry for, and that she is not mad.

At the fourth time, - and Rachel knows this is happening because her mind is stuck on that one word - she snags Quinn's hand, squeezing her fingers so she is no longer able to tap the words out.

This happened when they were younger. It is also where their motto - we don't apologize for our feelings (in this house) - came from.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Angel. And whatever Chucky is saying to you right now, it is a lie. I promise."

"Rach…" She looks to her right, sees Noah there, sees this young boy on the very edge of losing his shit because by now, Rachel usually has this under control, and right now... right now, she has it less under control than it was 5 minutes ago.

"I don't know what to do, Noah," She chokes out, her grip on everything slipping away from her, and she feels the tears sliding down her face, the blurry image of Noah running outside of the office being the last thing she sees before she turns back to Quinn.

Will goes to the doorway, stepping outside to speak to Emma and Sue.

While he is gone, Rachel stands up, pushing the chair away to bend down in front of the blonde, "Quinn!" She holds her face between her hands, forcing her away from the hiding spot she has taken up against Rachel's neck.

"I need you to listen to me. You are going to make yourself sick, you have got to breathe. Okay? Do you understand me? I need you to block out every single fucking sound you are hearing, and focus on my voice."

She has the vaguest awareness that there are more people in the office with them, but…

"Look at me. You're scaring me, Lucy," Brown eyes meets a watery mix of gold and green. "You scare me so much when you get like this. And I don't know what to do. Okay? Can you help me? Please? Just focus on my voice… It's–…"

She maneuvers to her knees, trying to get Quinn's attention on her. Quinn looks at her, the fear and anxiety making golden-flecked hazel-green swirls.

It breaks her heart. She hates that whatever happened on Friday has led them here. This is not the Quinn she knows. The one who she worked so fucking hard to build up when they were younger.

This is the one who would apologize repeatedly over the smallest mistake. The Quinn looking at her right now is an older version of the one who Rachel held in her arms in the Nurse's Office because her childhood anxiety prevented her from being in their first and second-grade classrooms.

This Quinn is the one from before she started working to build up her self-esteem so she could raise her hand and answer a question in class, or even simply go up to the teacher, and ask to go to the bathroom. She thought they had a handle on this level of anxiety, but it is all coming back full-force.

Rachel moves to sit in the corner of the couch and pulls – guides – Quinn to curl up against her side. She does the one thing that has calmed her over anything else, picking a different one this time…

When the rain is blowing in your face […]

She continues the motion of running her hand up and down her arm not even trying to stop the tears now. Sue suddenly bends down in front of her, holding something out.

It's a cloth, wet and cool, she realizes as she grasps it. Sue senses that she is not… comprehending much… she so gently guides Rachel's hand to Quinn's cheek and then backs off when the younger girl nods.

After wiping the tears and now sweat, from the blonde's face, Rachel flips the cloth and folds it in a different way, before continuing to just run it in random patterns across her face and neck.

By now, every person witnessing this is… heartbroken.

Emma has a death grip on Will's hand and Sue is staring off at a spot on the wall, trying desperately to ignore the tears making fresh tracks down her cheeks.

Mike has Britt in his arms as Santana has stormed off some time ago, and Noah and Finn are just…

…watching. Feeling useless. Wishing there was something they could, or say, to just make this whole fucked up situation go away.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
[…] To make you feel my love.

Rachel slows down on the words as she feels and hears Quinn's breathing becoming less and less irregular.

She keeps going, though, just in case…

As the last few words fade away, Rachel lets out a shaky breath. Everyone just kind out… stands there, watching, waiting…

She has to take a few moments to compose herself but finally, she is shifting and pulling away, saying, "Can you look at me, leone coraggioso?"

Quinn obeys immediately, and the action loosens the panic in Rachel's chest because this means she is back, that is comprehending what is being said.

"Take a deep breath for me, okay? Can you do that?"

Quinn… attempts to do just that but halfway through inhaling, she freezes and goes even paler than she already is.

Rachel shifts Quinn further away just in time for Will to lunge forward with a small trashcan, having recognized that look from the times Terri's sister and nephews visited and one of the boys was sick.

After she expels her breakfast and rinses her mouth, Quinn sits back, utterly exhausted, and just completely fucking drained.

Will takes the trashcan out as Rachel is encouraging Quinn to take more sips of the water, and Mike comes inside with Brittany.

"Rachie?"

It is a broken whisper that she never ever wants to hear from the dancer ever again.

She looks up, into teary blue eyes.

"Hey, piccolo anatroccolo."

"I want to go home now," Brittany chokes out through fresh tears, and Mike tightens his arm around her shoulders. "And I never want to do that ever again."

She is not sure what part the dancer is referring to. Regardless, she wholeheartedly agrees, and so she nods, adding in a whisper, "Call Daddy, let him know we are ready to leave. Okay?"

Brittany nods, pulling her phone from her jacket pocket, while Rachel takes the second offered bottle of water from Will, who smiles down at her sadly.

He is at loss for words right now.

Because… what can a person say to make a situation like this better?


Name credit for Alex and Jordan Hudson goes to Boris Yeltsin. Finn's dad did not die before he was born. Instead, he died right before Alex's birth. So it is her that never knew Christopher and not Finn.

Also, Quinn will reveal what Russell threatened Rachel soon.

I wanted to do Quinn's panic attack differently this time. I don't know much about them, except for what I have researched. I hope it was ok the way I did it, and that I was able to make it realistic.

Please review and let me know what you thought! And if anyone wants to talk to me about writing in the panic attacks, and so on, let me know in a review or a PM. :)