Don't ask. Just don't.
Slash (this time Remus/Sirius), overdose on OMG and WTF.
characters are copyright the people who own them, and the Five Minute Slow-Motion Denial Scene is copyright Sevvie. Because he's emo like that.
(This was the first one I wrote, so it is a little different in style from the first two. Oh well.)
Originally, Harry Potter was to have died in the third book. But, seeing the potential for riots and mass suicide, the scene was altered to spare the lives of all concerned.
Let it never be said that obsession is not effective.
The original sketch was retrieved, and is as follows:
(Sirius is in the Shack, hiding. Remus, not wanting to take any chances with the Wolfsbane as usual, steps in.)
Remus: OMG Sirius!
Sirius: Blame the rat!
Remus: I know! I'm sorry I ever doubted you! ("brotherly" hug commences )
Sirius: I should be apologizing, not you-
Snape: (Bursts in, Snape fashion) I am Snape, the Potions Mahstah. I must stop him.
Remus:...
Sirius:...
Snape: Don't touch him, Black!
Remus: If this is another attempt to seduce me, the answer's no.
Sirius: SEDUCE? WTF?
Remus: I'm sorry, but I told you. I already have someone. It's Sirius.
Snape:(five minute slow-motion denial scene) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
Sirius: Bastard.
Remus: I had to fend him off all year...poor guy has no life.
Snape: ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
Remus: How can anyone keep something like that up so long?
Snape: ...Remus, I'm sorry. (ties him up with wand )
Sirius: (to himself) OMG is he going to rape Remus? Only I get wrapped-up Moony! (to Snape) You have incurred the wrath of Sirius Black, which will be the last thing you ever-
Harry, Ron, Hermione: (have found a passageway, and arrived in time to save Snape)EXPELLIARMUS!
Snape: (is in the way)
Hermione: OMG, we missed!
Harry: My name is Harry Potter. You keel my father. Prepare to die.
Ron: OMG, is that Lupin? Don't worry, we'll save you...
Sirius: (while untying Remus) Everyone seems to be out to save your ass, don't they?
Remus: So it would seem...
Hermione: He's a werewolf! And wants to kill Harry too!
Ron: Which one?
Hermione: Lupin, you idiot!
Harry: (headpalm)
Scabbers: I'll be going now...
Remus, Sirius: (point with wand)
Peter: (POOF) Dammit...
Harry: OMGWTF
Hermione: I take it back...
Ron: I (slept) with you!
Harry: Please don't mean that like it sounded.
Remus: I would make a comment...but I can't really say anything...
Ron: Why's that?
Remus: (kisses Sirius) That's why.
Harry: (dies of shock)
Hermione: The time has come to angst!
Sirius: Uh...Harry? Hellooooo…?
Tralala...
Once upon a fangirl was bobbing along, minding her own business, when she came upon a fanfiction! She read it and quite enjoyed it, but forgot to review. The People Who Own The Copyright found out and killed off the fangirl's favourite character. The end.
Moral: Review.
Review-inducing story inspired by the wonderful writer a boy named maggie.
