I told you I'd update tonight. This one's probably slightly different, since my style's changed some in the past few months.
you know the disclaimer and warning drill, or should by now. in addition: I was very politically incorrect. If you're the type who takes offense to rape being made light of, I suggest you read something else. It's merely a mention, but still...
also, Wormtail is reverse OOC to all the snivelling cowards I see.
by the way, I'm going by angelofplottwists now, instead of SlashyKitty. just so you know.
Harry: Now that this trophy has mysteriously transported Cedric and I to a deserted and even more mysterious graveyard, I vote we should explore!
Cedric: Uh, it's Cedric and me, Harry. I thought I was the stupid one.
Harry: Uh…shut it.
Wormtail:Very witty, Harry. Goodbye, plot device!
Cedric: But I'm a secondary main character…(dies)
Harry: Wait, I thought you were disgusting and cowardly!
Wormtail: It's discrimination, I tell you! Why would your father have befriended and trusted me if I was boring and disgusting? Why would I have been in Gryffindor if I were cowardly? THE PLOT HOLES ARE EVERYWHERE! Not to mention-
Harry: You just killed Cedric.
Wormtail: …You interrupted me.
Harry: But you killed Cedric.
Wormtail: I suppose I did.
Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
Wormtail: He had to die, he was a plot device.
Harry: …OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
Wormtail: Really, Harry. You sound like Snape.
Harry: I stopped.
Wormtail: Anyway, I need your blood.
Harry: OMGWTF
Wormtail: Please and thank you. And the bone…
Harry: whimper
Wormtail: And…my…left…hand…AUGHPAINAGONY!
Voldemort: Oh, huzzah! My archnemisis, come to witness my rise from the undead!
Harry: whimper
Wormtail: painagonyhinthint
Voldemort: You don't need two hands!
Wormtail: I'm dying of blood loss!
Voldemort: Oh, very well.
Wormtail: It's shiiiiiiiny!
Voldemort: Why do I even bother? Where's that Potter schmuck?
Harry: I'm not a schmuck…
Voldemort: No, you're an over-reckless idiot. My bad.
Death Eaters: Appears you forgot to call us…
Voldemort: Well, you're here now.
Lucius: Don't know why we bothered.
Voldemort: (with an overly-cheerful smile) I do! Otherwise I rape your offspring and kill your wives.
Harry: Isn't it the other way around?
Everyone Else: Are you mad?
Harry: I should think so.
