Phoenix's Legacy
By Mistress Dawnstar
Summary: A kingdom where magic is outlawed, a young sorceress struggling to step up to her mother's shoes, a young girl forced to walk the thin line between life and death, expediency and love. Cinderella with a whole new twist. Please R and R.
Ch.4 -Magic, Hot Chocolates, and Purple Rhinos
That night, I closed my eyes and dreamed:
We were there, Mother and I, in what appeared to be the library back home. The two of us sat in plushy red velvet chairs facing each other across a roaring fire. Her face was calm and serene, as common place as our familiar surroundings. However, I knew that mine was suffused with anger and hurt.
"How could you?" I spat out angrily. "How could you do that to me? Hurt me? I thought you cared about me. I thought you loved me." I felt tears of fury and hurt well up in my eyes. "How could you?" I repeated with a sob.
She half stood and reached out a hand to comfort me.
"Don't touch me." I yelled.
She sat back in her chair and regarded me with sorrowful eyes. "I did what was necessary. When you get older, when you have children of your own, you'll understand it."
"No, I won't. I would never hurt my children. A mother would never hurt her own child."
"Not even to protect them? By the circle, child, what you were doing was dangerous. You know what the laws against magic are. Had anyone but Khedsa or me seen, it would have been the fires for you." She said harshly. "I did what I did to protect you."
I gave her look of utter disbelief.
"This country is dangerous for those of our kind. People are suspicious of even the slightest hint of magic. Thousands are sent to the fires on much slenderer evidence than what you've provided with that thoughtless display of yours." She continued.
"Don't think it isn't true. I've seen it with my own eyes. Not a single one of those victims deserved their fate and all of them died in agony. Do you think I could bear to see my own daughter suffer that fate. I want you to think of the fires and remember the pain whenever you are tempted again to use your powers. Remember and fear it. It is the greatest gift I can give you, the only one that can protect you. Hate me if you will; that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make."
"Who is this 'our kind'?" I asked flatly, still resentful.
She laughed mirthlessly. "Haven't you guessed by now? We are magic users, sorcerers, dedicates of the arcane arts." She held up one hand. Red fire laced with gold twisted around her fingers.
"You're a witch." I said in an accusatory tone. "Witches are evil."
My mother looked tired. "Am I evil, Marianne?"
I opened my mouth for a hot retort, but hesitated. My mother had always been there for me. She had comforted me during times of distress and chased away my childhood fears. She was the one who took me riding and showed me all the secret woodland knells. That was the mother that I thought I knew. Yet she was a witch. She had hurt me, burnt me with her wicked fire, but she believed it was for my own good.
But everyone knows that witches are evil.
I shook my head, not knowing what to think.
My mother pressed her case. "And Khedsa, is she evil too? You yourself used magic today. Do you feel evil?"
I was unwilling to look her in the eye. My gaze dropped and I suddenly became intent on examining my fingernails. "Everyone says so."
"Who is this everyone? I've never spoken with him." I heard her sigh. "Magic isn't evil. Like all forms of power it can be used either for good or for evil. It is merely a tool in the hands of the wielder, like a hoe or a sword. Witches are only human being with a special talent, the same as someone who can - say - draw especially well. They are no better or worse than any ordinary human being."
Was Mother evil? Was I evil? I had used magic today; I can't deny that, but I don't feel particularly wicked. I just feel like myself. Why then do I hear talk all my life of the wicked, deceitful witches? Why then do even the lowliest servant boys dream of a day when they could discover and denounce a witch and then later be hailed as heroes?
"I don't understand."
"It is the fear and ignorance of the common folk that has labeled us as evil. The wickedness is entirely in their minds. Most of the time the ones who are accused of witchcraft are entirely innocent and have never cast a single spell in their lives."
"So you're really not evil?" I asked cautiously. It was a fairly inane question, I know, but bear in mind that I was only seven at the time.
"No, I swear it upon my magic."
"What does that mean?"
"When a magic user swears upon his orher magic, you know that he or she is speaking the truth. If asorceress breaks the oath that she made upon her magic, she will lose her powers. It is not an oath that we take lightly."
"Where are we? Did your magic transport us back home?"
"We're in your mind."
"My mind?"
"Your dream to be exact. This is one of the few places where we may talk without fear of discovery."
"If this is my dream, how did you get in here?"
My mother laughed and held up her glowing hand. Oh, right. Magic. The idea was harder to get used to than I had thought. I suddenly noticed something.
"Hey, I'm not injured." I peered more closely at her. "You're not either, but I thought you thrust both of our hands into the fire."
"It was my fire so it would not harm me and your dream self has never been injured."
"Does that mean that I'll still injured when I wake up?" My mouth turned up in what was the beginning of a pout.
"Only on the outside. You won't feel injured. My healing spell will take care of that."
"Why does it have to look like I'm injured?"
"Firstly, we need a reason to keep you in your room until the end of this visit. I don't trust you among others with your newly materialized talent and shaky control. Secondly, it was meant to teach a lesson and it would beat the purpose to get rid of it at once."
I lowered my gaze to my lap. I didn't want to think about that incident; it still made me feel angry and hurt. I changed the subject again."If this is my dream, does that mean that I can change it?"
She nodded solemnly, "Yes, just imagine something and it'll be here."
"Okay." I squeezed my eyes close and concentrated on having a hot cup of chocolate drink in my hand. Warm pressure there made me open my eyes. Sure enough, there was the cup. I grinned triumphantly and lifted it up to take a sip.
I spat it out immediately. "Yuck! That doesn't taste like any hot chocolate that I've had. Blech! It feels like sand running down my throat."
"Did you remember to imagine the taste and texture?"
Oh, right. I tried again, this time imagining the sweet chocolate taste and the soothing warmth as it flows down my throat. I took another, more cautionary sip. "Hey, it worked."
"Very nice." She seemed on the verge of laughter.
"It's not funny." I sulked.
"If it makes you feel better, it's better than my first try. I wished for a purple rhinoceros. Oh my, that was a disaster."
I gaped at my mother, sure that I had heard wrong. "A purple rhinoceros?"
She nodded solemnly and then laughed. "It seemed a good idea at the time. Of course I was only a few year older than you at the time."
"What happened? Oh nevermind, I don't want to know." Giving the difficulty that I had with the hot chocolate, I don't even want to think about the sort of catastrophe that would have accompanied a purple rhinoceros. I rapidly changed the subject."So Khedsa is a witch too."
"We prefer sorceress, but yes."
"Is that why she always manages to find me, no matter how hard I hide from her?"
Mother chuckled, "I imagine so."
I took a deep breath. "Alright, tell me more about this magic business."
It took the entire night for her to explain the Circle to me and the following two nights to relate its history. The next two nights were spent discussing my magical education. At the end, if I wasn't completely enthusiastic about the idea, I was at least resigned to being a sorceress.
Even though my relationship with my mother never returned to our past level of rapture and trust, I nevertheless learned to respect her and the struggle she had undergone to hide her gift from the world and to track down and teach other young mages before their talents broke lose from them as mine had and incriminated them. Even with the nation ranged against, she and her indomitable spirit has made a life for herself – if not a carefree life then at least a happy one.
But, even as I learned to admire and esteem her, I also pitied her. She has always been forced to hide her powers in shadows as if it was not a gift but something to be ashamed off. Indeed, she has always lived in fear for her very life. I came to realize something very important – I could never live with such a fate.
A/N: Yikes! It's been a while since I updated. There's just been too much going on in my life. I apologize.
Again, I thank all of the wonderful people who've reviewed.
I know this is really slow chapter, but it needed to be written. I promise the action will pick up in the next chapter.
