Author's note: Warning! 98 percent of this chapter is about PMK characters. We'll see Battousai and Tomoe next time. Also, Yoshida is a pervert, but well-within the confines of the "T" rating...


Chapter 6: theatrical proficiency

It was perhaps an hour after sunset, and Vice Commander Hijikata was sitting cross-legged inside the dojo, silently and critically observing the rigorous kendo practice that was currently filling the training hall with the stink of sweat. Occasionally he glanced to his right and muttered a comment or a question to the smiling young captain beside him. This evening there were only four candles lit in the dojo. Training in semi-darkness to strengthen instincts and decrease visual dependence had been Okita's idea.

On account of the dim lighting in the hall, almost nobody noticed as a thin, shadowy figure struggled to open the door.

"Hijikatasan!" Susumu gasped, stumbling into the dojo at last.

The demon turned his head and scowled at the young spy. "Yamazakikun. Where have you been?" He demanded gruffly.

Souji looked up, smiling. "What Hijikatasan means is, he's been worried about you," he explained.

Susumu's face was blank, his eyes dark and practically lifeless. "I've been doing my job, sir."

"Hn! Probably not very well, considering your injuries," Hijikata growled.

Susumu blinked. His face remained emotionless. "Not to dispute that, sir, but I learned that Katsura's sending a message to Yoshida at midnight tonight, and I have a plan for intercepting it."

"Good work," Hijikata stated matter-of-factly. "What's your plan?"

Susumu explained without hesitation. "The message is going to be delivered by someone who has never actually met Yoshida-sensei, and who only knows his physical description." He paused for a moment. Both Hijikata and Okita were looking up at him expectantly. Susumu looked back and forth between them. Didn't they get it?

"And?" Hijikata said impatiently.

Susumu actually looked taken aback. "Haven't… haven't either of you seen Yoshida Toshimaro?"

"Feh!" Hijikata grunted. "Of course I've seen him. He's the sleaziest-looking metrosexual creep this side of the Tamagawa."

Suddenly Souji giggled. Hijikata glanced at him, annoyed. "What?" the vice commander demanded. "Souji, you've seen him too, haven't you?"

"Oh, yes!" Souji said happily, looking up at Susumu with a conspiratorial smile. Then he closed his eyes halfway. "Ahem. I have seen Yoshida-sensei. And if I were to give his physical description… I'd start with tall, dark-haired and handsome."

"He's pale-skinned, broad-shouldered, and he has sort of a casual slouch to his posture," Susumu added. "He's a master swordsman, so there's a fluid grace to his movements, despite his large, masculine frame."

"Good for him," Hijikata grumbled. "He looks sleazy to me. But what does this have to do with anything?"

Souji folded his arms, feigning thoughtfulness. "Let's see… besides being tall with sloping shoulders, there's one other thing you can't miss about Yoshida-sensei."

Susumu nodded. "He keeps his hair tied up like you do, Hijikatasan, except he lets his long bangs cover the right side of his face."

"So desu!" Souji exclaimed, pouncing on the vice commander.

"What the--!" Hijikata roared, struggling against the unexpected attack. "Souji! Get the hell off me!"

Obediently the young captain sat up, smiling angelically. The brief scuffle had achieved his objective: he'd managed to muss Hijikata's hair so that the long bangs which were usually tucked behind the vice-commander's ear were now hanging down over the right side of his face. Hijikata realized what Souji had done to him and his eyes burned in fury.

"Exactly," Susumu said, before Hijikata could unclench his teeth enough to make any disparaging remarks. "Hijikatasan, you'll be perfect for impersonating Yoshida and intercepting Katsura's message."

"WHAT!" Hijikata clenched his fists. "You actually think I look like that twisted maniac? He's an arsonist, you know, and I hear he abuses his page boy."

"Those rumors aren't any worse than the ones about you and Tetsunosukekun," Souji reminded him patiently. "And none of that has anything to do with the fact that you happen to match his physical description." He laughed. "They say everyone's got an 'evil twin' out there somewhere, after all."


Several hours later, Susumu shuffled down Oike street with tiny steps, dressed in his sister's finest kimono. He was growing impatient; it was nearly midnight and his quarry was nowhere in sight. Only a few moments ago, he had seen an anxious-looking boy hurry past. The top of the young samurai's head had been freshly-shaven, and the dark haori he wore looked brand new. Susumu suspected that this nervous boy was Katsura's messenger. Any minute now he would be meeting "Yoshida" beside the Choshu safe house just a few blocks away.

Finally the cross-dressing kansatsu saw a tall dark figure moving gracefully towards him in the street. There was no mistaking the silhouette, with its broad, sloping shoulders and long limbs, the high ponytail jutting from the back of the head. Susumu forced his face to relax into a charming smile, his eyes softening until they appeared large and luminous. Swaying his hips ever-so-subtly, he headed straight for the feared revolutionist.

"Why if it isn't Yoshida-sensei," Susumu said, raising one sleeve-covered hand to his mouth. "Imagine running into you at this time of night."

"Osensan, isn't it?" Yoshida asked quietly. Susumu smiled sweetly and Yoshida inclined his head in a nod. "Good evening."

"It is a good evening!" Susumu exclaimed. "Why, don't you think it's just perfect out here tonight? The air's so tense and thick- you can practically taste it. It feels like it's about to start raining any second now, don't you think?"

"I suppose." Yoshida muttered. "Now if you'll excuse me…"

"Oh do wait a minute," Susumu said breathlessly, fluttering his eyelashes. Yoshida paused and looked again at the lithe, feminine figure in the exquisite kimono. "It's not every day that a girl get so lucky, after all." Susumu murmured. "Accidentally meeting such a handsome man in the dark, under a heavy, starless sky… it rather excites me."

Yoshida looked Osen over from head to toe. "I would think that a girl such as you would have no problem meeting all the handsome men you could want," he replied in a low voice, smirking.

"Why, Yoshida-sensei, it's so cruel of you to tease me! The truth is… there just aren't many men out there who live up to my standards." Susumu paused a moment, forced his eyes to gleam seductively.

"How unfortunate," Yoshida said, and his eyes flickered down the dark street. "Now, excuse me. I really have to be on my way."

"So abruptly?" Susumu pouted. "What a pity. I'm sure you'll think it's terribly forward of me, but… I've had my eye on you for a while, and meeting you like this tonight… well, this situation has me hoping that you might like to see if you can meet my standards. Actually," he took a brief, fluttery breath—"something tells me that you might be able to surpass them."

"I'm not worried about being good enough for you, Osensan," Yoshida commented. "I have standards too. My concern, frankly, is whether you could be good enough for me. Goodnight." Susumu's eyes narrowed as Yoshida turned away with a certain smug look on his face.

Yoshida's comment would have probably caused any normal young woman to burst into tears, but Susumu wasn't a normal young woman. He quickly recalled overhearing the gossip of the kunoichi girls regarding Yoshida's tastes- whether or not the man had feelings for his page was uncertain, but what Yoshida admired most about certain tomboyish kunoichi was no secret, and Susumu decided to use that knowledge to his advantage. He reached out quickly and grabbed Yoshida's hand. The tall man didn't say anything, but it was obvious that he was both annoyed and surprised by Osen's untoward action.

Susumu caught Yoshida's gaze and held it fiercely, his eyes smoldering. He held the tall man's hand lightly, and stepped in closer. He brought Yoshida's hand to his chest, so that Yoshida's fingertips just barely brushed the silk of the kimono. Slowly, Susumu guided those fingertips down and around to his side, and brought them to a halt at his hip. "Oh, Yoshida-sensei," he whispered sweetly. "I think I have what you want." Then, with a look just as smug as Yoshida's had been, Susumu curved Yoshida's hand behind himself and pressed it firmly against his rear end.

Yoshida blinked, and suddenly looked very amused. Osen's kimono was deceptively concealing- he never would have guessed that the graceful, willowy body had a butt like this. From the way she walked, she gave the impression of having rather curvaceous hips, but now that his hand was pressing into the fabric, Yoshida realized that Osen had practically no hips at all. Interesting. They were alone in the street, so he let his hand linger, and moved his fingers against the kimono in a massaging motion for half a second. "Well," Yoshida said with a smile. "You may be right. But unfortunately I haven't the time to explore the possibility this evening. I'm meeting someone."

"Why, you devil," Susumu teased, slipping away from Yoshida's grasp. "Flirting with me on your way to see another woman? Whatever became of your good manners?"

"It's actually a business meeting," Yoshida explained. "And I asked my page to meet me. Consider yourself privileged, Osensan. I've never allowed anyone to make me late to a meeting before." He bowed his head slightly, and strolled off down the street.

Susumu stood frozen to the spot, his eyes wide. He had managed to delay Yoshida for a few minutes, exactly as planned, but Yoshida's page was meeting him? Hopefully not at the place where the message was supposed to be delivered… if an extra person showed up there, one who actually knew Yoshida, it would be a complete disaster!


"You're standing up too straight," Souji criticized in a soft voice from his hiding place between the building and the fence.

"Ugh!" Hijikata grunted. "How am I supposed to stand?"

"Stand like you usually do!" Souji instructed. "You know, leaning forward slightly, as if your arms were too heavy… no, not that far- just a bit of a slouch- ok… oh! Here comes the messenger!"

Souji fell silent and Hijikata looked up, and sure enough a young, nervous-looking samurai was sneaking down the alley toward him.

"Y-Yoshida-sensei?" the boy whispered.

Hijikata stepped out of the shadows. "Yes, that's me," He muttered stiffly. "You have the message?"

"Yes sir," the boy sounded relieved. He reached into the sleeve of his haori.

But just then another person slipped into the alley, a boy with hair as silver-white as moonlight. Hijikata gritted his teeth and the messenger boy jumped back, one shaky hand reaching for his sword.

"Don't worry!" Suzu whispered, hurrying forward. "I'm on your side. Yoshida-sensei asked me to meet him here- I'm his page."

Hiding in the shadows, Souji narrowed his eyes. The appearance of Yoshida's page was unexpected and unprepared for. Souji desperately hoped that Hijikata would come up with something, anything, to salvage the mission, preferably without having to kill the white-haired boy. But if the boy became a threat to Hijikatasan… Souji was ready to do whatever needed to be done.

Hijikata, wisely, had stepped back into the darkest part of the alley. Both boys turned and strained to look at him. "Yoshida-sensei?" Suzu asked.

Hijikata made a decision. He was not going to kill Yoshida's page, not unless he absolutely had to. "Give me the letter from Katsurasan," he muttered as quietly as possible.

Suzu's eyes narrowed suspiciously at the voice. "Sensei?" he asked hesitantly. The messenger was taking the folded paper from his sleeve, but Suzu reached out and stayed the boy's arm. "Wait," Suzu said, peering into the darkness at Hijikata. "Sensei… are you… all right, sir? Your voice sounds strange."

Hijikata didn't say anything, just reached an impatient hand towards the nervous-looking messenger-- but Suzu took a step backwards, bringing the boy with him, out of Hijikata's reach.

"What are you doing?" Hijikata grumbled angrily. "Give me the message."

Suddenly Suzu drew his sword, shoving the messenger boy backwards out of the way. "You're not Yoshida sensei!" Suzu accused, a murderous gleam in his eyes.

"Of course I am," Hijikata grumbled, taking a measured step forward. "What's the matter with you?" One more step forward. He focused on the now-trembling messenger boy. It was time for the vice commander to try out his acting skills. "It seems my page has finally succumbed to his paranoia," Hijikata said to the frightened messenger, trying his best to sound regretful rather than impatient. Then he glanced at Suzu and shook his head disapprovingly. "I always thought you might not be completely sane," he said to Suzu in a disappointed voice. "I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but…"

"Shut up!" Suzu shouted. "I'm not crazy! I know my master! You're a fake!"

"Shhh, boy!" Hijikata scolded. "Do you want to bring our enemies down upon us? Don't you know those Shogunate dogs have spies everywhere?"

Suzu grit his teeth and suddenly Hijikata got an idea. Hopefully he had the theatrical proficiency to make it convincing… and hopefully Souji would catch on. "Hoh," Hijikata said softly, drawing his sword and pointing it at Suzu. "Now I understand. That's it, isn't it? You aren't crazy after all… you're a traitor!" The messenger boy gasped and bit his lip, staring at Suzu in disbelief. "You've gone over to the Bakufu's side, haven't you?" Hijikata continued. "You've deserted Choshu's cause and become a spy against us! I was a fool for not realizing it sooner. My own page boy."

"That's nonsense!" Suzu cried, enraged.

Suddenly another person stepped into view from the shadows at the end of the alley. "Stop right there, Yoshida Toshimaro!" Souji called out in a clear voice, drawing his blade. The young messenger's mouth fell open in shock.

"Shinsengumi!" he squealed, terrified. Although he had not been in Kyoto for very long, he knew what the light blue haori with the white triangles on the sleeves meant.

"Good work!" the Shinsengumi captain called, nodding to Suzu. "You led us right to him, exactly as planned!"

The messenger boy glared at Suzu in utter contempt, bitter tears of betrayal in his eyes. "You… you filthy traitor!" he hissed at Suzu. "How could you do this to Choshu?"

But Suzu wasn't listening to him. Instead, his dark maroon eyes were fixed on Souji, and burning with hatred and pain. Suzu adjusted his stance, and without hesitation, he attacked.

Souji was surprised. He had never expected such an intense reaction from the white-haired boy. Yoshida's page was actually quite talented with his blade- he was quick, unpredictable, and he was fueled by powerful emotions. Souji swallowed, feeling his consciousness slipping almost literally through his fingers, diffusing into the pulse of the fight. If he gave himself over to his sword completely, he would kill. That was just… that was just the way it was.

"Hurry!" Hijikata said to the messenger boy. "Give me Katsura's letter and get out of here!" The terrified messenger, meanwhile, was watching wide-eyed as Suzu and Souji's battle progressed a little further down the alley. What had just happened didn't make any sense at all, but the boy was too scared to care. He fumbled in his coat for the paper and passed it to Hijikata. Hijikata leaned over and pulled the boy to his feet. "Now," he said gruffly. "Not a word of this to anyone. I'll deal with this Miburo myself, but we can't have word getting out. Your life depends on you keeping this a secret, understand?"

"Wa- wakarimashita, Yoshida-sensei!" the boy cried.

"Good! Now run! Go!" Hijikata gave him a good shove in the direction of the exit. The boy took off sprinting and soon he was gone. Hijikata turned his attention to Souji, and narrowed his eyes. God, how he hated it… the weight that grew in his chest, the sickening guilt… watching Souji fight as if possessed used to flood Hijikata with amazement, even pride… but not anymore.

"That's enough," he growled, stepping around to where Souji could see him clearly, his sword still at the ready.

Souji blinked and frowned, and for a second he looked like he didn't know where he was. Then a placid expression spread over his face, and he looked at Hijikata with clear eyes. "I've drawn my sword against this boy," he stated softly. According to the rules of the Shinsengumi, he had to kill his opponent. A raindrop plinked softly onto the blade of his sword, and Hijikata frowned.

"We've accomplished the mission. I'm ordering you to withdraw," Hijikata said. Souji made a soft sighing sound, and smiled at Suzu.

"You can go," Souji said to Suzu in a kind voice, as if dismissing a student from class.

Suzu was gasping for breath, looking back and forth between Souji and 'Yoshida' in obvious hatred. He knew he had no chance against them… if he died here, without killing even a single Mibu ronin, he'd fail to avenge to brother- and obviously he'd be of no further use to his master. If he died here, he'd never see his master again. With angry tears springing to his eyes, Suzu made his decision. He turned and fled.

"Hmf," Hijikata grunted, sweeping his hair away from the right side of his face and attempting to tuck it behind his ear. "I knew this was a stupid plan," he grumbled. "I told you I don't look like that creep."

Souji smiled and sheathed his weapon as the rain began to pour.


That same rainy night, Hotaru was awakened by a rough hand on her shoulder. She sat up with a start, remembering Himura's warning about 'harassment'—but to her relief it was only the wearied landlady hovering over her.

"Get up, Hotaruchan," the woman said gruffly. "I've got a chore for you to do." Rubbing her eyes, Hotaru followed the landlady down to the washroom, where there was a pile of clothes in a tub. "Wash these, please," the woman instructed. "There's blood on the shawl, the obi, everything. I'm afraid if we wait til morning, the stains will set, especially on the kimono. Well, good luck."

"But Okamisan!" Hotaru cried, bringing a worried fist up to her chin. "Whose clothes are these? Surely they haven't… they haven't… murdered a woman—have they?"

Okami sighed. "No, Hotaru, the poor girl's fine. She's upstairs asleep. But in the future, you're going to have to learn to be less curious about such things. You'll be washing a lot of bloodstained clothes from now on. I hope you're good at it."

"I'll do my very best!" Hotaru declared, and landlady left her to her task. As she scrubbed the white kimono over and over, Hotaru couldn't help but wonder who the bloody clothes belonged to. If they belonged to a kunoichi, it might be someone that she knew, from her old job back at Masuya. Okamisan had just told her to be less curious, but Hotaru simply couldn't wait to find out who the 'poor girl' was…


Another A/N: Gaaah, two chapters left! 'Toshi and Toshi' wraps up the trouble with look-alikes for this story. For a while I was going to have Yoshida actually see Hijikata impersonating him, but I decided that poor Hijikata didn't deserve to be humiliated like that. Oh, by the way- Kaze Hikaru vol. 2 is out now! Yaaaaay!