Prequel 4: 365.5
Day 1
I want to die. I'm still trying to wrap my head around what has happened. I hurt… just so much. I can't even tell if I'm crying anymore. Everything is dark… just so dark. I feel that if I just hit my head hard enough, I'll wake up from this nightmare.
It was horrific enough seeing what Ruby did to Mom… I couldn't breathe… I couldn't think… I was just so scared… I just wanted Dad to hold me and tell me it was going to be alright. But then he didn't come back… and Ruby did. I should've just hid like he told me to. Why was I such an idiot?! He told me what to do to stay safe, and I had to disobey him because I thought I was strong. Because I thought I was brave.
My stumps sting… Ruby held them over a flame to cauterize them… she just wants to keep me alive. She won't even let me die now. I'm a coward. I should have let her kill me and be done with it. I wouldn't be hurting so much… I would see Mom and Dad again…
I can tell now that my life will just get worse from here. I can't see, I can't think… if Ruby gets the better of me, I'll lose what little sanity I'm clinging onto… I can't let that happen. A journal, even if it's just a mental one, will at least keep me sane. After that monster goes to sleep each night, I'll commit myself to recalling the day's events in my mind. Keeping a mental log. At least then, when things inevitably get worse, I can think back to when things hurt less.
I hurt so much. I can't tell where we are. Everything is black. Ruby tied some cloth over my eye sockets to stop the bleeding… they're too tight. Every second I want to reach up and pull them off, as my mind keeps associating them with being the cause of my blindness. But I can't. I cannot reach… or grab… or claw… or hold… And even if I could, removing the cloths would do nothing. I'd still be trapped in this darkness… I can't fathom it. I keep telling myself, "You're blind now", but I still won't believe it.
This collar is too tight… it was meant for Zwei. Gods, do I miss that dog. Ruby just kept pulling me along… no resting, no stopping except when she stopped. For miles all I heard was the damn clinking of this chain and our footsteps in the grass… the chain is too loud.
I think we're in somebody's house… Ruby punched me in the gut and threw me down on the ground, commanding me to stay put. I felt her tie the chain to something, then walk away. About five minutes later, I heard screaming… a woman screaming. There was a lot of loud banging and footsteps, then I heard another woman scream even louder. Her scream got cut off… then I heard a baby cry. There was a loud bang that sounded like someone kicking a door, then some more crying, then sudden silence. I think… no, I know Ruby killed that baby. And whoever those two women were. I heard her come back out and untie the chain, then felt her yank me to my feet and pull me indoors. There's carpet beneath my feet, and the walls feel like drywall. She threw me into a corner and began kicking me. She tied my chain to something else, punched me in the face, and walked away. From what I heard it sounded like she was undressing, as I heard her boots hit the carpet and what sounded like cloth fall to the floor. I heard her gently prop her metal scythe up somewhere. Then I heard some rustling and creaking that sounded like she was lying down on a mattress or couch or something. If I had to guess, I'd say that Ruby broke into this house and killed everyone, and that we're currently in the house's living room with me tied up in a corner and her naked and asleep on the couch. At least, I hope she's asleep. Her breathing sounds like it's asleep.
But I won't sleep. Not tonight, maybe never again. There are too many things keeping me awake: my mind is racing, my heart is beating, and my body… it just hurts so bad.
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad. I failed you. If I had just been more cowardly, I would've stayed in hiding and been able to avenge you later. Hell, if I had just been more cowardly, I would have just let Ruby kill me, and now all three of us would be together. But I had to be brave. I want to promise that I'll never be brave again, but I think I'll need to be if I'm going to get through this with my sanity still intact. I can only hope that Ruby grows tired of me and ends my life, or that my wounds will become infected and I'll rot from the inside out, because anything is better than this. I hope I die soon, so this will all be over.
I hurt so much.
Day 2
I sat in that corner for what felt like an eternity last last night, freezing cold. I was shivering, but had to fight it because it was making my chain rattle. If it woke Ruby up, I'm sure I would've been beaten within an inch of my life. I knew sunrise had arrived when the room began to warm up, though not by much. Ruby remained asleep for about four more hours after that, then I heard her stir. I listened to her get off of the couch, stretch, and walk over to her clothes. She spat on me on her way over. I listened to her dress and grab her scythe, and figured she would raid the house's kitchen for breakfast, but instead I just felt a sharp slap across my face. I didn't even hear her come over to me.
She said something like "wake up, bitch" or something to that extent. Then she grabbed my hair and pulled me up to her face, then punching me in the gut again. I couldn't even recoil from the blow, because Ruby was holding my head stationary by my hair. She yanked my hair back and pushed me into the wall, then let go and undid my chain. I took a few deep breaths and tried to clear my head before she began tugging at my neck again, and I followed. We left the house, and began walking to gods-know-were.
That's what we did most of the day. Walk. She just kept walking, dragging me along behind her. My feet are so sore; it feels like the soles of my boots are about to fall off and take the bottom of my feet with them. The only times I got to "rest" were whenever Ruby rested, and even then she usually took the opportunity to punch and kick me to the ground, so I couldn't run away while she sat down. If I wasn't on my feet today, I was lying on the dirty ground after getting her her boot in my stomach.
Finally we seemed to reach her destination, which sounds unmistakably like the beach. I can hear waves, smell the salt water, and feel sand beneath my feet. She pulled me a bit of a distance further; I'm assuming she was trying to find another house or a place to stay for the night. We found what I think is some kind of shack or small vacation home, and thank gods no one was there. From the sounds, this place is really cluttered. Ruby couldn't find anything to tie the chain to, so she just threw me to the ground, kicked my face, and went to sleep in one of the corners of this place still holding my chain. I'm exhausted. My feet hurt, and I need to sleep. My mind is still racing, but maybe I'll try and fall asleep tonight. I need it.
Day 3
I'm panicking. I can barely breathe. I want to die!
I managed to fall asleep last night, but was woken up by Ruby kicking me. She pulled me up like the day before, then pulled me out of the shack. We didn't walk long before she found a boat of some sort. She threw me in and beat me to the ground, then got in herself and began rowing to what I can only assume is the mainland. She was eerily quiet for most of the trip. She didn't even hum or whistle "Red Like Roses" like she usually does. I knew that she was upset about something; I think she didn't sleep well and was now in a bad mood. On the one hand, her being in a bad mood made her keep to herself a bit and not hurt me as often. The downside was, when she did decide to hurt me, she didn't hold back. That's why today was the worst… cumulating to what she did to me tonight.
We rowed for hours, and all I was able to do was cower on the edge of the boat and try not to get seasick. Occasionally I'd gag, and Ruby would kick me in the face to shut me up. At least when she did that, she sent whatever was coming up back down.
She kept going until what I could only assume was late evening, because it got really cold really fast. Soon after I felt the boat reach a shore, stopping us. Ruby pulled me out of the boat and threw me onto the sandy beach, then kicked me square in the gut. As if my seasickness wasn't bad enough, that was the blow that pushed me over the edge. I leaned over and vomited on the sand. I haven't eaten in days, so not much came up. But Ruby was furious.
"The fuck do you think you're doing?!" she screeched. "Did I give you permission to puke?!" She pulled my hair back and punched me across the jaw… really hard. I think she almost knocked it loose. She threw me down and I had to do everything in my power not to cry, because I knew she'd punish me for doing that, too.
She kicked me a few more times, then yanked my chain up and started pulling me along. We didn't walk far before we found someplace to stay, though by the way it smells I'd assume we were in a waste dump or landfill or something. We went inside an office or trailer of some sort (which was empty), and I instinctively walked over to cower in a corner somewhere for the night.
But Ruby wasn't done with me. She pulled me back over to her and punched me to the ground. I'll never forget her words.
"Uh uh uh, no you don't!" she screamed. "We aren't done yet! You think you can do something as disgusting as vomit in front of your Mistress and get away with it?! You're fucking in for it now!"
I expected her to just start hitting and kicking me, but I heard her open her scythe. With little warning, she began slashing at my back. Each cut stung, and I felt each draw blood. My clothing was ripped and scrapped, but then she did something I never thought even she would do.
She ripped my clothes off of me.
She bent down and began digging her nails and the tip of the scythe blade into my flesh, then began tearing the fabric off of me. She kept on ripping and tearing until my shirt was a pile of cloth on the floor. Then she cut my bra off with the blade, hit me with it, and threw it away. Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, she swung her scythe and cut right down my back all the way to my butt, splitting my pants. Then she tore those, and my underwear, off as well! My half -sister had stripped me naked, and then proceeded to kick me and slash at my back with the blade. It took all my willpower to curl up and try to cover myself. She grabbed my hair and pulled me up so I was facing her. I felt her hot breath as she spoke.
"Learn your place, slave." She was seething in anger. I could practically feel her rage as her grip on my hair tightened and she growled at me through clenched teeth. Then she threw up her knee directly between my legs, hitting me right in the crotch, before throwing me by my hair into the very corner I had tried to escape to earlier. She spat on me, tied my chain to something, then walked away to go sleep.
I don't know if I can take it anymore. I'm lying here, naked, bloody, starving, nauseous, and freezing cold. I've been violated, and I can't even kill myself. If there are gods, they would let Ruby leave her scythe close to me so I can open it and slit my throat on the blade. But I can't even do that! I'm panicking! I can't breathe! I want to die! I want to die!
I WANT TO DIE!
PLEASE LET ME DIE!
Day 6
The past few days have been a blur. I don't even remember them. All I know is that Ruby used some gritty, dirty cloths she found somewhere to cover my breasts and crotch. I don't even remember what day that was.
Everything has just fuzzy… I don't think I was able to think straight after that night. I remember walking, and being kicked, and hearing screaming… but there's no timeframe for them. I don't know when or why they happened. I don't know where we are, nor who was screaming. For all I know, it could've been me. My mind is just a haze of pain and screaming… I wonder who was screaming. I don't know what I going to happen next. Maybe the screaming I heard was inside my head. It always sounds like someone is screaming… am I screaming?
Screams.
Day 10
I took a life today.
We're in some kind of neighborhood, I think. Ruby broke into one of the homes and attacked the people inside; but she didn't leave me outside. She dropped me right next to the wall in the room where she did it. It sounded like a big family; five or six kids, a mother, and a father. The father was the first to fall; from the sound of it, it sounded like she either slit his throat or stabbed him in the neck, because he was gasping and gurgling before he went silent. I heard the metallic whirl of Ruby's blade as she cut the family down, ending with the mother. But I still heard whimpering and crying from one of the kids; it sounded like a little girl.
I heard Ruby chuckle, and the girl squeal in fear. There were some loud and staggered footsteps, and soon the two were right in front of me.
"Slave, you are going to prove that you are loyal to me," she said. "Kill this child, and maybe I'll give you something to eat."
Well, I hadn't eaten in three days (the last I ate was some sort of bread crust left over from one of Ruby's meals), so immediately the offer was tempting. But I hesitated, and decided to try anything to get myself out of it.
"How?" I remember rasping. "I can't see her. I can't grab her."
I figured Ruby would realize that I couldn't kill anyone in my condition. I also prepared to receive the brunt of Ruby's wrath for questioning her, but surprisingly she didn't attack.
"Well It's pretty fucking obvious you still have a mouth," she said. "So why don't you stop yapping and put it to some use?" I heard her push the crying child closer to me. "Go on, bitch. Sic 'em."
I did my best to consider my options. I didn't want to kill her. Not in the slightest. Even with the promise of food, I didn't want to hurt anyone, much less a child. I wanted to stand up to Ruby so badly.
But then I remembered what happened the last time I stood up to Ruby. The last time I was brave. If I refused, she would just make my situation worse and give me nothing to eat. Worst of all, if I refused to kill the child, Ruby would just kill her anyway, and probably in a much more horrific manner. At least if I was to kill her, I could make it merciful.
Being brave had only brought me pain. It was time to take the coward's route.
I stood up as quickly as I could and did my best to locate the child by sound. It wasn't easy, but I eventually found where her neck was. I leaned down to where I was over it, and listened to her fearful sobs in my ear. As I leaned in, I whispered in her ear in a voice quiet enough for Ruby not to hear, "I'm sorry."
Not wanting to waste any more time, I leaned down and bit the child as hard as I could on the side of her neck. She screamed… a soul-piercing, gut-wrenching scream… and writhed in my mouth as I bit down harder and harder. Then, as fast as I possibly could, I pulled back and tore my mouthful of flesh off of the poor child. She wailed and sobbed, but was gurgling and gasping. I felt hot blood spray onto my face as I splat the flesh out.
As the child's cries escalated, so did Ruby's laughter, which started as a chuckle and soon morphed into wicked cackling. That combined with the wails of my victim were overwhelming. I wished I could cover my ears and block it out.
Not long after the cries and sobs began to grow quieter, and soon the only sounds the child were making were choking. I struggled to catch my breath as I heard hers increase to a rapid pace, then slow down. With a final choking exhale, the child went silent.
She was dead.
The deed had been done. I had taken a life. The life of a child, no less. I felt her blood still running down my chin as I fell backwards and scooted up against the wall. I wish I could remember if I was crying. Ruby's laughter deadened, and I heard her speak.
"Well done, slave. For that, you'll get a whole piece of bread tomorrow morning." She chuckled. "Now, I'm going to go see if I can find the parents' big, comfy bed. Gods know I deserve it. As for you, I'm going to tie you up right here for the night." I heard her walk over and tie my chain to something metal, then walk back over to me. She must have seen my horrified expression and rapid breathing, because she kicked me in the head and threw me to the ground.
"Get over it. This won't be your last kill."
I gasped as Ruby stormed away to an upstairs room. But I couldn't help it anymore, knowing that I just killed a child and that her body was only a few feet away from where I was cowering.
I screamed.
Day 20
What kind of animal have I become?
I was so hungry… Ruby had fed me some bread and a scrap of cheese a few days ago, but it did not satisfy. She kept getting angry at my stomach growling… she punched me in the gut so hard that I would've thrown up if I had anything in there.
I guess an upside is that she hasn't made me kill anyone else, at least not yet. She's broken into a few more places and killed the people, but I'm appalled to say that I'm becoming desensitized to it all. I don't even know how many victims there are anymore; surely she has to get bored of this sometime, right? Take a break?
Anyway, we ended up settling in some cold basement for tonight; I think some drunkard was living here and Ruby killed him with a broken bottle. Ruby went to sleep on a mattress on the other side of the room and tied me up to some pipes or supports or something.
As I was lying there, trying to ignore my rumbling stomach and fall asleep, I heard something nearby. It was a faint clicking and squeaking, and I soon realized it was a rat. I don't know what came over me, but I think my starving gut got the better of me. I sat very still, just listening to the creature scurry close to me, careful not to scare it off. I could hear every time its small feet and sharp claws landed on the hard floor. I could tell exactly where it was… almost like I could see again. I waited until it ventured too close, then, careful not to wake Ruby, lunged at it. I heard it squeak loudly before my teeth fell around it and bit down.
Oh, it was the most disgusting thing, feeling its dirty, hairy body squirming around in my mouth as it's little claws swung and it squealed in panic. I increased the pressure of my bite, and felt the bones crack and finally snap in my mouth. It stopped moving, and I knew it was dead. It was right about then that I realized what I had done. I was about to spit the dirty rodent out when my stomach growled again. I listened to it and felt it twist in painful hunger. As dirty and disgusting as the rat probably was, I couldn't help it anymore. I was just so hungry. I figured if I contracted a fatal illness from the filth I was about to eat, I would at least finally die.
As quietly as I could, I set the rat down, shifted my weight to hold it down, and tore a chunk of meat off. It didn't taste good at all and was grimy, but at least it was food. It was even tougher to swallow, but my stomach wasn't going to be picky. I stripped that rat down to the bone, leaving nothing but a skeleton and tiny feet. That should at least keep me going for a couple more days.
I've really devolved into an animal, haven't I?
Day 34
It's becoming harder and harder to keep track of the days. Most days I'm so tired that I fall asleep before I even have the chance to start my mental journal. She made me kill another person yesterday; a teenage boy.
We arrived at some sort of farmhouse or something, and Ruby ran in and killed an elderly woman living there with some of the farm tools. She found this boy hiding in a barn, and I was forced to listen as she stripped the boy naked like she did with me. After that I heard crying and yelling from him, telling her to stop doing something. Whatever it was, she was laughing almost the entire time. I can only hope that she was only hurting him with her scythe blade and not what I think she was doing.
After she was done, she pulled me into the barn.
"Alright, I've had my fun with this little cutie," she said. "Yang, sic 'em. You won't leave this barn until he's dead."
Hearing her say those words made me think back to the little girl, and how horrible I felt afterwards. But the same thought process came to me, and I decided it would be more merciful if I ended him.
I heard Ruby walk away, then listened for the boy. It wasn't hard to find him, he was squirming and sobbing. I staggered over and heard him on the ground, crying. I fell to my knees and followed the sound to find his neck. Before I could even open my mouth, I heard him speak.
"Please kill me," he sobbed. "She… she… violated…" The kid could barely speak through his tears. Judging by the sound of his voice and the rough estimate I was able to make of his height, I assumed he was probably around Ruby's age, but much shorter. He couldn't have been much younger than me. I sympathized and almost related to him; we were two teenagers forced to watch our parents die before being violated and tortured by the same monster. But the difference was that he was ready to die after it all, while I was a fool who let Ruby do everything to me.
I scooted closer, and felt his bare skin brush up to mine. He was shaking in fear, and his sobs got louder and more rapid when I leaned down to his neck. I didn't even bother apologizing this time. I just ended it quickly.
After I heard him stop moving, my stomach growled again.
Day 67
Every day is almost the same. We walk, Ruby kills someone, and then beats me. However, she's taken on this new habit of making me lick her boots while she cleans her scythe. While it's humiliating and disgusting, I guess there are far worse tortures to endure. Besides, at this point, I'm beyond humiliation.
There's honestly starting to become nothing to comment on every day; it's just walking and killing whenever Ruby finds someone. Occasionally, she'll make me attack someone. She'll say those damn words, "sic 'em", and then make me kill a target. It's infuriating. I hate her for it. That hate leaks out when she makes me kill; I just wish that, everything I do to those innocent people, I could do to Ruby instead.
I hate her.
Day 88
She's been making me actually fight my targets recently. She won't cripple them and then make me finish the job; she actually makes me, a blind, armless, malnourished girl, run up to someone and try, with just my other senses, to actually engage other people in fights. But I'll be punished if I don't win them. So I listen for every sound they make to determine where they are, then go in biting. It's savage to say the least, and some of the opponents have been stronger than my past victims. One was a tough, muscular dude who managed to trip me up and start beating me up. Of course Ruby didn't step in, she was watching me get beaten for free, and she didn't have to lift a finger. Eventually I threw the man off and ended it with a single bite to his jugular, but I think he broke my nose. Not like it matters.
I don't want to know how many people I've killed.
Day 101
We stopped walking today. We holed up in a small, vacant house yesterday, and I was expecting to keep moving today, but Ruby said that we were "making camp for a few days". She left me tied up in a corner somewhere and threw me some raw fish (I have no idea where she got it), then left. She hasn't been back all day, and I think it's nighttime now.
Still, I'm not complaining. This one day without her has probably been the best day of this entire ordeal. I'm finally alone with my thoughts, even though those thoughts scare me. I don't want to reflect back on how I've devolved. I can barely even remember what life was like before this. The furthest my memory seems to go back is that day when it all began.
I need to at least attempt to enjoy this silence while I still can. Because any second, Mistress could burst in here and…
Wait…
Did… did I just… call Ruby "Mistress"…
…in my own head?
Day 102
She's still not back yet. Gods, what is she doing? I finished off the rest of that fish today, so hopefully she'll be back with more food.
I'm starting to get sore sitting in one place for two straight days. I actually found the strength to stand up and walk around a bit today, but there's only so far my chain will let me go, and walking is something I've had to do every day anyway. I'm bored… but at least it's better than torture.
Day 103
Still no sign of her. This silence is starting to drive me insane, and I'm starving. Where is she?
Day 104
Where?
Day 105
Ruby finally showed back up today. She seemed to be in a good mood, which I knew couldn't be good. I don't know what she did, but whatever it was, it was horrible enough to make her happy. She came in and threw a rock at me before leaving and going to take a shower (I heard the water running). When she came back, she threw a piece of meat to me and I ate it, though I wasn't able to tell what kind of meat it was. We headed out shortly after that, and soon the day became like the dozens before it: walking until we found a house with someone inside, who Ruby killed. Now we're staying in the house.
Throughout all of this, I never stopped to wonder why the police haven't caught up to us yet. Surely, with all of the murders that Ruby has committed, someone has gotten a lead. Ruby might be a formidable opponent for most fighters, but even she can't stand up to a half dozen armed officers with guns. I wonder if anyone's looking for me… is there a chance that I could be rescued after all? It's a fool's hope to think that at this point I guess, but I suppose it's still possible. I wonder if the governments know about us.
Just how infamous is Ruby?
Day 142
For the past month or so, I've really been thinking about the police and the governments. Just where are they? Along this path of bloodshed, someone, anyone had to have found a scene and reported it. And Ruby's not one to clean the place up afterwards either, so chances are someone know who she is and what she's done. What I've done.
Where are they?
Day 150
Now I'm really starting to get pissed off. Is the whole fucking world in on the same scheme to make me miserable? Did every last sane person drop off of the fucking map, and now it's nothing but psychotic freakshows that support Ruby? It has to be! Why else would no one have come for me? It cannot be this fucking hard to find a serial killer! She doesn't even try to hide! She leaves everything a mess and walks right out in the open with a fucking mutilated slave bitch on a chain behind her!
Actually, I hadn't thought of that either. In all the times we've been walking from place to place, no one, not one single motherfucker saw a bloodstained girl dragging a walking corpse behind her on a chain? Or has everyone in the fucking world seen me and just done nothing about it?!
Ruby may be a monster, but the rest of the world isn't much better! Why the hell is there NO ONE to help me?! The only other people we've ever seen are dead now! Do the police just not exist anymore?!
Where the fuck is everyone?!
Day 195
Today was the first day that I actually learned where we are: we're somewhere on the outskirts of Vale. It's hard to believe; all this time traveling and we've only made it as far as Vale. It's maddening.
We found yet another house, but this time, I think I killed everyone inside. Ruby told me to "sic 'em" again, and I guess I did. I have a hard time actually remembering if I did or not, but I have faint memories of killing a husband and wife, but with the way things have been, they could have very well been some of the people I was forced to kill in the past. But I do know where we are now, and I know that we're staying here tonight.
Now that I think about it, if I did all the killing, that means Ruby must've somehow removed my chain so I could run in and do it.
Why didn't I escape?
Day 200
Something big happened today. Something that changes everything.
Ruby mainly hung around the house all day, raiding the kitchen and hitting me with her collapsed scythe. Later in the evening, Ruby was in one of the other rooms doing gods-know-what while I cowered in a corner per usual, feeling the air getting colder as the night settled in. As I tried to stay warm, suddenly the house shook and I heard the loudest bang I had ever heard in my entire life. From the sounds of it, it even caught Ruby off-guard, as she ran past me and out the front door. I sat there with my heart pounding in my chest for about a minute before a second tremor hit, this one even harder and louder than the first. I heard the front door open and what sounded like Ruby panting excitedly. She sprinted over to me and undid my chain, then practically pulled my head off yanking the chain up. I actually had to run to keep up with her.
We ran out of the house when another tremor hit, shaking the ground and causing me to almost trip. It was accompanied with the loudest boom yet, and whatever it was, we were running right towards it.
I was still in shock from the surprise and Ruby's sudden actions, so it took me a moment to wrap my head around what was happening. When the next one hit with an even louder sound and stronger hit, I finally realized what those tremors were.
They were explosions. From bombs. Someone was bombing Vale. Someone was bombing Vale, and we were headed right towards them.
It didn't take us long to reach our destination. As we grew closer, I could hear more terrifying sounds: loud crumbling, popping and crackling flames, and the horrible sound of crowds of people screaming and crying. Ruby gasped and squirmed in what I can easily assume was delight, because she began laughing afterwards. She pulled the chain, and I was forced to stand right behind her.
"Someone's bombing the city!" Her voice sounded like she was in pure ecstasy. "And all the survivors… they're trying to flee… but they're running right towards me!"
I gasped in horror as silently as I could. All those people… they needed to escape! But Ruby was blocking their escape route! Who knew if they were going to get past her?
I almost wanted to do something. Knock Ruby over, slow her down, anything to try and help those people. But Ruby turned and ran, pulling me behind her. She soon came upon a large rock, and threw me down next to it. I heard her activate her scythe, as the screams and the cries came closer. I was almost crying myself; there was no way that I could let Ruby do it. She had gone too far.
Just before I could stand and confront her, I felt her reach down to my collar and fuss with it a little bit before taking the chain off. Before I could even wonder what she was doing, she said it again.
"Yang, sic 'em."
My memory is a blur after that. I have flashes of the sound of screaming and tearing, as well as the faint sound of Ruby's scythe and maniacal laughter. While I can't remember it, I know I killed people. And with Ruby there, the death toll must have been catastrophic. I don't know if I can live with myself after this…I taste blood in my mouth.
Day 202
I don't remember much. Just brief memories of sounds and tastes, all of which I hope aren't real. I'm confused, angry, and sad. My mind is tied up in knots. I can't tell what's real anymore.
Day 224
We've spent weeks in Vale, just scavenging the ruins for more survivors. Ruby hasn't paid much attention to me, but she hasn't made me kill anyone for a while. This place stinks, and it's hot. I still hear fire and crumbling, but the screams are mostly silent. When they do occur, Ruby cuts them off. I wonder how much longer Mistress will carry this out.
Day 255
Ruby found some abandoned, decrepit building that I can only assume was partially destroyed in the bombings, and we've been here for weeks. Every day Mistress will go out hunting, and only occasionally will she take me with her. I can't remember any of the times I've gone out, though. My only memories are of the stink and the heat. I hate this place.
Day 269
We left Vale. I don't know where we're going. I hope there's food; Mistress hasn't fed me in a few days.
I feel funny. I don't know how to explain it. Am I broken?
Day 298
It's hard to think. Every day, my memory seems to slip further and further from me. Now I can't even seem to recall the past few months; the only things I can remember are Mistress beating me, the smell and heat of Vale, and… wait, there was something else. There were… people. Yes, two people… a man and a woman. They were important to me. Even though everything is black, I can somehow see their faces… the faces are familiar. I know these people from somewhere. Or, at least, I knew these people from somewhere. I think I let them down somehow… I made a promise to them… gods, what was it? Why can't I remember who they were? I know they were important. Who were they?
Day 333
I don't know where we are, but I don't care anymore.
Why can't I remember who those people were?
Day 34?
I've started to loose track of the days. I don't know if I'll even bother counting anymore.
Day 3?
Mistress is taking me somewhere. She says it's somewhere we've been before.
Day ?
Mistress. Stink. Quiet. Vale.
Day 365
We'Re in A HOusE. miSTreSs LEave. WhEre GO?
Day 365.5
bLoOdy BootS. MiSStrEss mAkE ME licK. i HuRt.
i WaNt tO DiE.
