I know this chapter is short, but the next one will be longer. thanks for the reviews. Continue!
Chapter 3: Heaven vs. Hell

"I'm going to kick your ass Satan."

"Over my dead body. I announce a Holy War!"

"Wait Satan, why don't we let him decide for himself who he wants to go with?"

"Fair enough. Don't make the wrong decision." Jimmy thinks about it for a while.

"My decision will piss both of you off, but my decision doesn't involve going to Heaven, Purgatory, or Hell. I want to go back to Earth to see my friends and family. I want to go see my true love, Cindy Vortex, and I want to live again. In piece. I know that you two don't like it but it my decision. Thank you"

Luckily for me, God and Satan agreed to let me live on Earth again under 3 conditions; I kiss Cindy Vortex as soon as I see her; I tell sheen to get a life; and I tell Carl to lose some weight. Earth here I come.