A/n: First X-Men Fic that I've posted, but not the first one I've written.

I'm also working on a Pyro/OC but until I finish the first part I decided to put out this!

Enjoy and please Review!

Disclaimer: Would I honestly be writing this is I owned anything or had anything else to do?

All you'll get are some old Converse and my Zippo.

The song "Hate Me" does not belong to me either, it was written by the awesome Blue October, whom I suggest you check out if you've never listened to before.

I know the song was written as Mother to Son, but this is written as if John left someone back at the mansion that we didn't see in the movies.

X

I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head

They crawl in like a Cockroach leaving babies in my bed

Dropping little reels of tape, to remind me that I'm alone

Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home

I still regret the day I left.

I still regret walking out on the one thing that would have never walked out on me.

There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain

An ounce of peace is all I want for you, will you never call again?

And will you never say that you love me, just to put it in my face

And will you never try to reach me; it is I that wanted space

I got a letter from her the other day. She told me she forgave me for leaving, and that she knew I wasn't coming back.

How she manages to read me like that, even when I'm not there still astonishes me.

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I wish she would stop trying to reach me. Magneto said that if I don't get over her soon and quit moping around he's going to personally take care of the problem. I couldn't bear having something happen to her, especially if I knew it was my fault.

I'm sober now for three whole months its one accomplishment that you helped me with

The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again

In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night

While I was busy waging wars on myself you were trying to stop the fight

I remember the first day I got there. I was 16 years old and had just run away from my burnt down home. It was pouring rain outside as I knocked on the massive oak door, and I was drenched from top to bottom.

The second she opened the door she, this 15 year old girl with golden brown hair and the bluest eyes I've ever seen, stepped out into the pouring rain and pulled me into the tightest hug I've ever gotten.

I don't know how long we stood there, or when I started crying, but when I finally pulled away she looked at me with a sad smile, teeth chattering from the freezing rain and said "You're safe now," but the last two words she said to me meant more than anything anyone had ever said to me before, "I promise."

You never doubted my warped opinions on things like, suicidal hate

You made me compliment myself when it was way to hard to take

So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind

And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

I know I cant, but I want to see her one last time. I don't need to talk to her, just see that she's okay, and now that she's better off without me there.

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I got another letter from her today. She promised it would be the last one. She said she knew I wouldn't, but that she wished I would come home. I could see where her tears had fallen on the paper and smudged the ink. She explained of how everyone there was suffering in some way or another, and how sometimes she felt like running away from it all, but that the good days still seemed to out weigh the bad.

I want so badly to see her, feel her lips against mine, hear her laughter, have her tell me that everything will be okay, and that maybe one day things can go back to the way they were.

But they wont, especially since I've managed to fuck everything up into a million little pieces.

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave

Kicking shadows on the street forever mistake that I have made

And like a baby boy I never was a man

Until I saw your blue eyes cry, and I held your face in my hands

And then I fell down yelling, "Make it go away!"

Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be

And she whispered "How can you do this to me?"

I saw her today.

I barely stepped inside the fence at Xavier's and there she was, playing with some younger mutants.

It suddenly began to pour out of the dark sky and the children all ran screaming inside.

But she caught my stare and looked back at me.

From afar she gazed back at me, and through the thick rain, I could see the tears leaking from her eyes.

In an instant she ran towards me and I caught her in my arms, holding her like I would never let go.

Sometime later we pulled away, and as I wiped the tears away quickly with my thumbs, trying to catch them before they fell, she sadly whispered, "I could never hate you, but at least I got to say Goodbye."

And walked away from me forever.

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

-Fin.-