A.N Thanks to ZeratulX35, Computer-Slave (yummy XD), warning live without warning (XD, how would you know what dirt tastes like?), Suicidal RuBBerDuckie (yeah, I just wanted to freak everyone out xp), Rahh Gumba Foo (aw, thanks!), and Mr.Girl (lol, sad, but true. . .I love the Tallest).
"Big Yellow Taxi" reference! Look for it! (I love/hate that song)
The Fifth Chapter of Doom
Tak, the Pizza-knapper
There is one thing Tak can say for Dib- she cane talk to him. Like, she can hold an actual conversation that doesn't involve interrogations concerning one's feelings for a certain housemate, or end in a rant concering how soon the filthy Earth will meet its doom. For the past half an hour, the two have been eating pizza and talking.
"Kacer's kinda my only friend," Dib is saying now, "and I only realized that once she left. Before that, I only had Gaz. . .anyway," he takes a small bite of pizza, and continues while swallowing, "you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."
"Wasn't that in the parking lot song?" Tak asks.
"Hm. . . yeah, I think so. . .so, what about you?"
"What about me?"
"Is Zim your only friend?"
"Geez," says, Tak, exasperated, "I don't know what Zim is. . ."
"What about that Pleecy girl from yesterday?"
". . .ditto."
Tak stares at the pizza tray, and that's when she realizes it's empty.
"Psst, Dib," she whispers. "Can you dress up like a bunny for a second?"
"Excuse me?"
"If you dress up like a different species, you get a free pizza. And I'm still hungry."
"Well, sorry Tak, I don't usually carry a bunny suit around with me. . ."
"Dammit," Tak mutters. She looks up for a slight second, and then in the next moment she's ducking under the table.
"Tak?" Dib asks, thoroughly confused, "What the heck-"
But then he looks up too, and notices a rather energetic Pleecy pulling a rather distraught Zim by the arm at the entrance of Bloaty's.
Sticking his head under the table, he asks, "What's the problem?"
"I'd rather not face them at the moment," Tak mutters.
Just her luck, Pleecy and Zim take the booth right behind them. Tak grabs Dib by the shirt and yanks him under the table.
"What the-"
"Shut up," Tak hisses. "I don't want them to notice either of us here."
"So, we're just going to hide under the table and spy on them?"
"I would never stoop to the level of spying, Dib. I have more dignity then that."
"But-"
"Now, shut up. I can't hear a word they're saying."
Dib has no choice but to keep quiet.
"This better be quick," Zim is saying, "Tak could be anywhere by now."
"Oh, just relax Zim," Pleecy says. "She couldn't have gotten far. . .besides, you can't search on an empty stomach."
Although Tak can't see, Zim is narrowing his eyes and he hisses too low for her too low to hear, "This is your fault."
A long silence is held between Tak and Dib as they wait for Pleecy's reply. Which is a solemn, "You don't like me, do you?"
"No, I don't, I-"
Pleecy begins to wail quite loudly, and Zim can do nothing more but sigh in defeat.
"Listen, it's not you, it's me," he says, although he's making no effort to sound sincere. He sounds exasperated actually.
"W-w-why?" Pleecy blubbers. "I'm always so nice to you! And after all we've been through-"
"For the final time, I do not know you, just-"
Zim's words only increase the volume of Pleecy's sobs. Quite a few people (disguised as various hippos, hamsters, etc.) are starting to stare.
"It is me, isn't it!" Pleecy shrieks, hysterical, "You think I'm ugly, don't you!"
"Well, in your human form, yes," Zim mutters, which is a mistake.
Because at that moment, Pleecy's tears stop. And she stands on top of the table and says, "Fine," and shuts off her disguise, "How do you like me now?"
Dib's curiosity has reached its peak, and he sticks his head out from under the table.
"Alien. . .must tell people. . ."
"Dib," Tak hisses threatingly, "don't you dare let them know we're here. . ."
Dib glances back and says, "Sorry Tak, but. . . I. . .can't resist. . .ALIEN!" He stands up now and continues shouting, pointing at Pleecy, "Everyone! Look at the alien! On the table! It isn't human!"
"DIB-THING!" Zim shouts.
Tak is about to come out from under the table, just to personally murder Dib, but then she hears a random voice chuckle and say, "Hey! An alien! That's an interesting costume!"
"Yeah!" another unfamiliar voice chimes in, "And most of us are just dressed up as squirrels! I'm jealous!"
"Bring the alien a free pizza!"
"Yeah! Free pizza!"
Everyone but Dib, Zim and Tak cheers, and everone is ignoring Dib as he pleads, "No! You morons, that's not a costume! It's a REAL alien. It's real!"
Tak climbs out from under the table, and stands beside Dib, and the two watch as a Bloaty's employee brings a free pizza to Pleecy and Zim's table, and everyone around them is still cheering.
Then Tak walks over and steals their pizza. And makes a run for it.
"You're all sweaty," Gir says, once Tak closes the door and catches a breath.
And, indeed, she is quite sweaty. And she is also quite confused. And quite hungry. She looks down to the pizza tray, and the vague thought of, 'Why the crap did I bother stealing this?' lingers in her mind for a short moment.
"PIZZA!" Gir shrieks.
Without Tak's consent, Gir and Mimi run over and immediately begin devouring the pizza. She has no chice but to surrender the tray, but then, she doesn't really care that much. She leans against the wall and mutters, "Well, that was the dumbest thing I've ever done. . ."
Suddenly, the door swings open, knocking Tak in the head quite swiftly. Her eyes begin to water from the abrubt pain, but she can still make out a blurry image of Pleecy and Zim standing in the doorway.
"Pizza thief!" Pleecy shouts, and points to Tak, but then upon seeing her tears, says sympathetically, "Oh poor thing! What's the matter?" and rushes over and cuddles Tak.
"Um, you kinda swung the door in my face, Pleecy," Tak says, wincing.
"Oh my gawd! I'm so sorry sweetie!" Pleecy says sincerely. "Listen hon, why don't you lie on the couch, okay? I'll get some ice!"
"Pleecy, I'm fine-"
"Zim, carry Tak to the couch."
Pleecy runs into the kitchen frantically, leaving a rather concerned Zim and a rather pained Tak alone, just staring at each other.
"You touch me," Tak says, "and you die."
Without a word, Zim walks directly in front of her, and pokes her forehead. Or rather, jabs. She falls backwards in pain and shouts, "Zim, you jackass! That's where the stupid door hit me! What the hell's the matter with you- Hey! PUT ME DOWN!"
Zim ignores Tak. He carries her all the way to the couch, and lays her down gently. Then she kicks him in the leg.
"Geez Tak!" he yells, holding his shin, "I'm trying to help you!"
"I do not need your bloody help."
"I was trying to be. . .uh. . .that word that starts with an 'n'. . ."
"Norwegian?"
"No, no, it's shorter then that. . ."
"Nasty?"
"No-"
"NICE!" This came from Gir, who's feeding (or rather shoving it into her face) Mimi a slice of pizza. "Master wanted to be nice to you, scary lady, cause he loves you!"
Zim looks utterly freaked out.
"Ha!" Tak gives off a grim smile and says to Gir, "If he loves me so much, then why does he let Pleecy hang all over him?"
Gir just shrugs and says, "I dunno," and goes back to forcefeeding Mimi, who appears to be choking at this point.
Zim turns to Tak and says, thoroughly irritated, "I thought you said it was no jelly."
"That doesn't mean you should let her latch onto you like that," Tak retorts.
"You think I want her to-"
"Got the ice," Pleecy calls from the kitchen's archway. She makes her way over to Tak and says, "Lie down."
"Pleecy, I'm fine-"
"Ice." Pleecy places it on Tak's forehead.
Tak decides it feels good and decides to leave it there. She rests her head against the armrest and closes her eyes.
"Anything else you need?" Pleecy asks.
Opening a single eye, Tak glances at Pleecy and says, "Tell me a story."
"Okie-dokie." Smile, smile. Falters a second. "Um, about what?"
"Tell me about how you and Zim met. That should be interesting."
"But Tak. . .you were there. . ."
End of Chapter Five. . .
I feel like I ripped off the whole 'I was trying to be. . .uh, that word that starts with an 'n'' thing from 'Zim is a Father'. Like. . .'she was very. . uh, that word that starts with a 'c''. I dunno. I feel so unoriginal.Forgive me, author of that story, whoever you are. . . Next chapter. . . 'Slurpy Boy'. It will include:
-how Pleecy met Zim (obviously)
-Tak going psycho
-Pleecy's moment of rational thought
My nana's expected to die this week. So. . .I dunno. I'll get the next chapter up asap, but it might be a little late and crap.. . so. Please review. You guys are the best.
