Moving On
She lay on the cold stone floor. She couldn't think. She would be strong, that's the way they would have wanted it. That was the only way. She felt the tears come and she gave in to them. Anyone who had gone through what she had gone through these last few days would have done the same. She didn't know how long she lay there crying. A long time. She didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore. A bell rang on the wall. She looked around the room for the first time. It was quite large, bigger than her room back at the castle. At thought of the castle she felt the tears well up again. She thought of fighting them down but chose self pity instead. She walked over to the bed in the corner. It was the only piece of furniture in the room. It wasn't a small bed. It was slightly worn and quite old but all the same had obviously once stood grand and beautiful. It was a lot nicer than anything they had had in the castle, not that you could compare. The castle… it wasn't really a castle, her house, it wasn't really a real one. It was a small house on a farm surrounded by wild fields. Her father would call it their castle. her castle. it was gone now… all gone. It seemed like it had been ages ago, that afternoon when she had seen it. In ruins… she had run home from one of the fields. She had liked running in the fields. She had run home, only to find a pile of bricks where it had once been. She had been devastated. Her home, her home. It hadn't been big or grand or anything special, but it had been hers. Hers and her brother's. her parents had died when she had been only seven. Her brother had been eleven. Their aunt moved in with them for three years before she too left. They had lived by themselves ever since. But then that day…
'No.' she cut her thoughts. 'I must not think like that.' She realized how much she had changed since that afternoon. 'No. I haven't changed, it was just the shock. I WILL be myself again now.'
She sat up. It was still to fresh a pain to forget. She knew she would never forget. She still remembered the day her parents had… had gone. They had never completely left her. Never died within her. She had been seven. She considered herself lucky. Seven years with them. She had been only seven when they died, but they had left her with such sweet memories. She considered herself lucky because seven years was better than none, and because seven years with her parents were better than an eternity with someone else's, but mostly she considered herself lucky because she knew that her parents would forever be with her and they would be perfect. She knew that if they would have been alive even three years longer, she would have started arguing with them like Edmund. Then, when they would die, because everyone must die some day, she would remember not only their good side, she would have bad memories too. She couldn't have managed that way. Her parent were like a force of good whenever she needed a comfort. It would have been so much harder to survive life without such a true and pure force.
But Edmund, why did he go too? She had been devastated when she had seen the castle in ruins. Her fathers castle. she had been so devastated that she had sat on the path for almost an hour before she noticed Edmund lying among the ruins. Edmund had joined her parents. 'Yes, that's it,' she thought, Edmund could never get over things like her, he wasn't happy with his life. He tried to hide it but she could tell. He was too good, too kind to deserve that. 'Yes' she assured herself 'Edmund has gone to a better world where he can be happy like he deserves to be.' She was happy for him. She tried a smile but it wouldn't come. She was still too tired. She had sat by the ruines for four days after she had first seen them. Something within her had made her drink. On the second day one of Edmund's friends came by. When he saw what had happened he seemed shocked. He sat down on the floor until he noticed her. It had taken him a long time. He gave her a long look before coming over and handing her a pastry, then leaving. She had looked at it for some time before taking a nibble. She barely tasted it before lying down on the floor and falling asleep. When she awoke it was still there but she had ignored it.
That afternoon the friend came back, this time with two others. Together they carried Edmund away. She hadn't done anything. Again he gave her a pastry and this time he had watched her take the first bite.
On the forth day he had come and taken her to his carriage. She didn't resist. She didn't care. They had ridden into the town and stopped by one of the larger houses. She had been into the town only once before with her parents. He had taken her out and started talking to a man by the door. He then handed her to the man who in return gave him a small bag and had walked her up to this room.
Again her thoughts flew to Edmund, but this time he was not lying in the ruins, this time he was chasing her through an overgrown field. Again she tried for a smile. She managed a small and obviously fake one, but still, it was a start.
