Scars Of The Past

The next few days passed in much the same fashion. All an outsider would notice was another soot covered servant quietly going around her business. It was true that she was covered in ashes from the fireplaces she was still preparing for the upcoming winter and she had adopted a meek and silent manner but inside she felt elevated. Life was continuing and again she had been pulled out of the dangerous waters onto a safe lifeboat.

It was not until the fourth day that she received the first blow to her newly found confidence in life. She was quietly moping the floor when the bell rang, calling her to Markari's room. She entered and asked 'You called, Sir?' along with a graceful curtsey. 'Yes,' he replied briskly. 'I am having some friends around later and you are not to make any trouble, we will be here in the lounge, understood?' She did not understand why he was warning her, she had been nothing but obedient since her arrival and never once caused any trouble intentionally. 'yes, Sir.' She was wondering if he would elaborate and maybe give an explanation to the command but all he did was dismiss her.

For the rest of the day she worked in the library. She didn't take much notice of the friends she heard arrive in the afternoon and had just fallen into the fireplace when the bell rang. She dusted herself down as best she could and hurried upstairs. From the lounge she could hear voices. 'Really!' 'I don't believe you.' 'When did you say she came?'. She stayed outside a little longer listening and realized that they where talking about her. Well aware that she was being showed off she stepped into the room with her head bowed low and gave a curtsey. 'You called, Sir?'. Around her people burst out laughing but Markari was as serious as ever. 'Yes, I did. Please open the window?' She walked over to the other side of the room. There where seven boys Markari's age sitting there, all laughing at her as well as Marliana sitting around the room. She wanted to leave the room as quickly as possible. She opened the window without complaining and returned to Markari. 'Anything else, Sir?' she asked quietly. 'Yes. Bring us up some food.' She curtsied and turned to leave but just as she approached the door she tripped over an outstretched foot and fell to the floor ripping her dress. This caused a new burst of laughter from around the room which quickly died away when they looked down at her. 'Kings and knives! What's that!' someone called. 'I don't know.' Replied Markari. Everyone had something to say but she heard no more. How could this happen. Picking herself up she ran from the room almost tripping again. How could this be happening. She started running.

She could not make herself leave the estate even in such a state of shock. Instead she ran down to her room and sat on the bed silently sobbing. It took her a long time to calm down enough to reason with herself. It wasn't that bad really. She tried to imagine what she would have thought of herself in their situation. She tried to look at her back and see exactly what had happened. As she had thought, her dress had a large rip down the back revealing a series of ghastly scars. She had managed to hide these scars from Edmund for three years, why had they found them here after barely three days? She told herself over and over that it didn't matter anymore. She had had to hide them from Edmund, but now it didn't matter. It was over. Still she had the sinking feeling of failure.

It had started when she had been eleven. When their aunt had left her and Edmund to live alone a year earlier, her best friend had been forbidden to see her. Apparently they were 'wild' now. It was this same reason that made Edmund's friends come even more. Although she knew this was good she had always hated their visits. They would come and sit round in the old drawing room talking and laughing, always making fun of her whenever they could. They would bring meat and grain and tools when they needed it. She knew that they couldn't afford to lose Edmund's friends and Edmund often told her that that was the only reason he invited them. She knew that wasn't entirely true but knew also that if they could have managed without their help Edmund would have given up his friends company for her sake. That was why she had had to hide it from him, he would make them leave for sure if he found out and they couldn't manage without their help.

Two weeks after her eleventh birthday a royal messenger had come from the palace to recruit Edmund on an Ogre Scour. This was entirely normal, her Father had gone on these too and had always been back within a week. It was two days after Edmund left that one of his friends, Hatfor had come to visit. He had walked in to her room where she had been peacefully drawing in a manner that suggested he owned the place and demanded to know where Edmund was. She was shocked by his appearance and shouted at him to get out. That had been her biggest mistake. Ever. She received a strong blow that threw her to the floor. This was followed by several others across her back. When he finally left she couldn't move. She climbed into her bed and didn't get out all day. By that time she realized that she couldn't let Edmund find out. From that day on Hatfor would often come to visit when he knew Edmund was out. He was often accompanied by two other friends. They would march into her room and pretend to be nice. 'How was your day?' they would ask, and when she answered they would throw her to the floor for speaking to them, and when she didn't for being rude. They would laugh at her and beat her over and over until she felt she could no longer breath. They would throw her around and make fun of her, threaten her and strike her. Often she would start bleeding, something that only encouraged them farther.

Once a different friend came and saw them sitting there, occasionally kicking her bleeding form lying on the floor, unable to get up. He took one look and left the room, not saying anything.

Finally she got up from her bed and went to finish the fireplace in the library, not bothering to bring Markari the food. She knew she would pay later and was surprised when Markari completely ignored the incident.