Author's Note: As mentioned earlier, I've posted this chapter together with Chapter 3 (since the latter was admittedly too short). So far, Chapter 4 is the longest chapter I've done, and I sincerely hope you have a good time reading it.
I must warn you, though: Chapter 4 is a very dramatic chapter. As a matter of fact, some might think this chapter is practically oozing with OOC-ness, but I beg to differ. At least give it a chance, okay? I tried my very best think like the characters in the respective situations they find themselves in, so please be polite if you decide to point out a particular part with overwhelming OOC-ness.
That's all, thank you.
Happy reading!
Disclaimer: Gakuen ALICE…definitely not mine.
Guinea Pig
by moonstar ruby
"Here," Natsume said as he handed her a white handkerchief. "Wipe those tears off your face."
Mikan glared at him before looking away, saying, "Hmph. No, thank you."
If he were a bit taken aback, he did a pretty good job of hiding it.
"Tch. Suit yourself."
She sniffed huffily in response as she reached for the table napkins.
Natsume sighed to himself as he silently watched the brunette dry her tear-stained cheeks. Every emotion she showed was poignant and contagious. That is the reason why he – or anyone else, for that matter – never enjoyed seeing her cry. Her tears could make one feel sad in the same way that her smile could make another happy.
Then his gaze fell back on the blasted silver band on her ring finger.
Silver? Feh. I can do better than that, Andou.
Natsume gritted his pearly whites. He didn't like this at all – his mind was practically bursting at the seams with questions, each and every one of them screaming for answers. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.
"How and where did you meet each other…?" he asked carefully whilst Mikan blew her nose.
"…again, that is," he added hastily, remembering that Mikan and Tsubasa had already known each other for years.
She blinked once and quickly disposed of the tissue containing her nasal exhaust.
"Sorry about that," she apologized, for even if the man in front of her was the one who drove her to a sudden emotional outburst, manners were still manners. And blowing her nose like that was just no good at all. "Anyway, what were you saying?"
Natsume groaned silently and heaved another sigh. If his thoughts were real people, they would all probably be on their knees, begging to be asked. But there was one question that desperately needed an answer. And that was…
"Why marry Tsubasa?" he suddenly blurted out.
Mikan nearly choked on the hot chocolate she was drinking.
The black cat, on the other hand, was started mentally thrashing, kicking, and swearing at himself the moment those words left him. However, his cerebral self-affliction was cut short by a declaration.
"If you really want to know," she said, looking up at the night sky, "then I'll tell you."
Very carefully, Natsume considered her proposal. If he said yes, then his most troubling question would finally be answered. Then his mind could finally rest and quit its heart-like pounding.
However, he also knew of the heartbreak that would come from her words – the second heartbreak that would suck the life out of him. Not to mention the nightmare that he would have to live through all over again.
But one thing had changed. For after the heartbreak, he knew that there would no longer be a smiling tomorrow. The hope that one day, he might be able to right his wrongs would vanish as she spun her tale.
And now, a voice inside his head was telling him that her answer would have something to do with what happened – no, what he did – six years ago.
Damn right it would hurt.
It would hurt like hell.
Tch. Not like he cared.
After all, nothing could possibly be worse than the pain he was going through right now.
Because now, Natsume knew more than ever that he could never be with her again.
Mikan watched him closely as he pondered over her proffer. His eyes were partly glazed, an obvious sign that he was deep in thought.
The protagonist sighed and looked her straight in the eye. "Go."
"What?"
"Tell me why – "
He stopped mid-sentence and sighed again.
"Just answer my question."
I see. So he can't even repeat those words, can he?
She smiled lightly and closed her eyes, readying herself for a long walk down memory lane.
"On our wedding day," she began, "everyone saw a happy, smiling Tsubasa. But not all of them knew that life wasn't always easy on him."
Natsume wordlessly looked up from his cup of hot chocolate.
"He was kicked out of the academy during our last year in Elementary. It turned out that his Alice was the kind that diminishes as the person gets older. You remember that, don't you?"
The fire emitter nodded in reply.
"And then right after that, Kaname-sempai passed away."
"Kaname...sempai?"
"That's right. He was Tsubasa's best friend. Kaname-sempai's Alice was bringing life to the stuffed animals he creates. Unfortunately, his Alice was the fourth kind, so his life span would decrease every time he uses it.
"So when Kaname-sempai passed on, Tsubasa went on a depression mode. He isolated himself from everyone, including his other best friend - Misaki Harada…
"Come on, Tsubasa; quit your moping, will you?" said Misaki, a bright smile on her face. "Let's go to the park so you can pick me flowers."
"I don't want to," he replied flatly.
"How about a movie, then? I'll even treat you, if you want."
No response.
"Well if you don't feel like going out, maybe we can just watch TV downstairs or something."
Still no response.
Sighing, Misaki stood up and walked around the room.
"God, Tsubasa, you must be really bored up here all the time. And what's with the drapes?" she asked as she made her way to the dark cloth that hung limply on the windows.
"Don't," he said in a chilly monotone. 'Don't pull them up.'
"And why not?" she wanted to know.
"It keeps the sun out."
Misaki laughed loudly. "It's winter, you idiot! How's the sun supposed to penetrate to your window, huh?
"'The sun's annoying..."
"But it's win –"
"Like you."
She spun on her heels to face him. "What did you say?"
"I said you're annoying," he replied in a louder tone.
"What, are you deaf?" he added, his cobalt eyes peering emotionlessly at her.
"Tsubasa, please don't be like this," said Misaki, her hands clutching the black cloth tightly. "I know that you're upset because of what happened, but I'm just trying to make you feel better."
Silence.
"Tsubasa?"
Not a word was heard from the former shadow puppeteer.
A lone tear trickled down Misaki's cheek.
"I worked so hard, you know," she spoke up again, her head hung low. "I worked so hard to be an honor student just so I could visit you, Tsubasa. I spent every waking hour studying just so I could top everyone else in the final exams! The least you could do is talk to me!"
"I didn't ask you to visit," came the icy reply.
Pastel-cherry orbs stared at him in disbelief.
"I never asked you - or anyone else, for that matter - to come and see me," Tsubasa continued. He clenched his teeth clenched and rolled up his fists into a tight ball.
"So why does everyone keep trying to comfort me like I'm a stupid three-year-old?" he barked angrily at the poor girl. "I'm not a weakling! Can't any of you just leave me alo –?"
He stopped abruptly as his cheek came into painful contact with a fair hand.
"But you are a weakling!" she cried, "All you do is hide away in your own little corner, pushing everyone away! Why? Why are you doing all this!"
"It's my life, not yours!"
"I'm only concerned, Tsubasa! All I want is for you to stop moping like that! I want the old Tsubasa back – the Tsubasa who teases me all the time, the Tsubasa I whack in the head all the time, the Tsubasa I dance with every year at the Last Dance –"
"But the old Tsubasa's not coming back! He's just not here, anymore, understand? Just like his Alice! The Tsubasa you knew could manipulate shadows, and now he can't! He can't, okay? He just can't – "
"I knew it! This is still about your Alice! Stop this foolishness, will you? Just because you're Alice is gone doesn't mean you're a different person!"
"Yes, it does! You can't whack or dance with this Tsubasa," he pointed out, jabbing a finger at himself. "Heck, this Tsubasa can't even set foot on Alice Academy! Why? WHY? BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE AN ALICE!"
"Please stop it, Tsubasa," she pleaded, tears starting to well up in her eyes once again.
"I won't stop until you get what I'm trying to say! I'm just not the same, understand? I don't have an Alice anymore! The Tsubasa you knew had something, but this Tsubasa's..."
"What? That Tsubasa's nothing? Useless? So you ended up depending on your Alice all this time? You're such a loser!"
"What did you call me?"
"What, are you deaf?" she snapped back, mocking him with his own words.
"Grrr..."
"Oh my, are you about to hurt me now? Then I guess you're even more of a loser than I thought you were!"
"Shut your –"
"Hey!" a voice suddenly interrupted the fighting twosome.
Tsubasa glared at the intruder, his bespectacled, spirit-hopping friend.
"Stop it, you two," he said as he got in between his feuding friends.
"Loser!" Misaki screamed at Tsubasa, ignoring the newcomer.
"Stop calling me that!"
"Why? You're not really planning to hit me, are you?"
"You're really asking for it..."
Mr. Spirit-hop took Misaki by the arm and pulled her towards the door.
"Let go of me! Let go! I'm not yet done talking some sense into that loser!"
Tsubasa just sat and watched as Misaki was being pulled away from him forever.
"Loser! LOSER!" he heard her yell one last time as the door shut close, leaving him to wallow in his misery alone.
"They haven't spoken since," Mikanc continued, "and Misaki-sempai ended up with my other sempai. When I saw Tsubasa again three years after our graduation, I asked him why he wasn't at Misaki-sempai's wedding.
"He gave me this really strange look then his eyes suddenly looked sad and wistful. Even so, he faked a smile and forced a laugh, telling me that Misaki-sempai must have forgotten because he didn't even get an invitation. That day was the beginning – everything else just fell into place after that. Before I knew it, there I was, saying 'I do' in front of everyone else."
She smiled brightly at her one-man audience. "I know! I'll tell you about the time Tsubasa managed to get both of us lost in Hamakiyama…"
"…the fish he caught there was this big," she said, her two hands about two feet apart.
"Oh, and once, when we were on a hiking trip with a bunch of other newlyweds, Tsubasa practically sneezed his way up…"
"And of course, that day we watched 'Summer Jealousy'…"
"…the movie was sooo scary, I practically screamed on Tsubasa's ear the entire time…"
Natsume flinched as more anecdotes of their love story reached – and made their way out of – his ears.
Tch. It sounds to me like they've been everywhere and done everything in the world.
He reached for his drink only to find out that he had already finished it down to the last drop.
"You've been drinking out of that empty cup for the past twenty minutes, Natsume! There's more hot chocolate in that thermos over there," she said, nodding towards the item.
As he stood up to refill his cup, Mikan let out a giggle.
Why is she laughing now? Wait...shoot, did I leave my fly open? Alarmed, the black cat turned around to check.
"I remember the time when Tsubasa and I were having coffee by the roadside café…"
Tsubasa this, Tsubasa that...he thought angrily. If she's with somebody else now...
Natsume clenched his fists and shut his ruby eyes tight.
Where does that leave me?
" – but enough about me and Tsubasa," she said suddenly. "How about you, Natsume? How are things between you and…"
He looked at her with questioningly. Me and...?
"…you and...the one you like?"
TO BE CONTINUED…
Author's Note: So what do you guys think? Did you like it? Was it too drama-heavy? Too long, perhaps?
Please tell me what you think by dropping a review.
This chapter took a lot of work, but I'll admit that it's not perfect. That said, if there were any aspects in this chapter (or the story, for that matter) that you feel I should correct right away, please say so through a polite yet straight-to-the-point critique (no flames, please).
Once again, I would like to put into good use this particular blank space by giving my sincerest thanks to the following wonderful people who reviewed Chapter 2 (as of press time): Cerulean Soul, hend, Michiyosama7, brimstone and gore, danavalkyrie, glenda23, dbzgtfan2004, Azurana K., shanfov, .H.P.I.A.L. (you're name's too long, Louie:P), and akai ladycuteluck.
Thank you very much for your overwhelming support, guys! These last two chapters wouldn't be here without you!
To all Tsubasa x Misaki and Natsume x Mikan fans: Please don't send me hate mail (T.T)! I'm a fan of the two pairings too, and I can assure you; things will work out in the end. But of course, I can't spill the beans just yet…
P.S. In lieu with a suggestion I have received, I shall proclaim to all ye readers that the first part of Chapter 1 (yes, the mysterious, italicized part) is a flashback. I am terribly sorry, but I am unable to give the identities of the two italicized speakers and/or the identity of the one speaking in first person (unitalicized sentence) as of the moment. In the meantime, please tune in as their masks would slowly be unveiled as the story continues…
Mwahahaha…you didn't think I'd reveal it that easily, did you?
O.o
Er…right.
Anyways, please don't forget to leave a review!
Till the next chapter, dear reader (waves hand)!
