"Come on Frank get up."
Matt moved Frank behind the counter as if it would protect them. They had no weapons except a small handgun Matt had on him and there wasn't enough ammo to get them through the hordes outside waiting for them. Matt was still catching his breath while Frank didn't budge. His lips were blue, skin deadly pale. Not a good combination with the arrays of bruises and cuts on his face. Matt sprouting his own from the fight. Maybe it wouldn't be the walkers that got them killed after all. It looked like he was already beating them to it, Matt thought bitterly. Not only that, he got Frank dragged into this mess.
Matt wiped away his tears, a small sniffle escaping him. He could faintly hear Frank's breathing. His heartbeat thumping sluggishly and quieter than it should. He needed to tend to Frank's leg, a tourniquet could only hold for up to two hours. Anything longer was pushing it, and with the onset of hypothermia. His jacket could only help so much with Frank's wet clothes still clinging to him. Frank needed medical attention… hell needed some too. But it's not like he could call Claire.
Moving made him feel lethargic. He could feel the world around him growing fuzzy, and his adrenaline wearing off. This really might be it, they're really going to die here.
His grip on his handgun tightened facing the gun to Frank's left temple. His fingers slide over the trigger."I'm sorry… dammit don't make me do this." His hands shook at the weight it carried, making Matt doubt that maybe he'll screw this up for Frank too.
They're going to die and all they've done is argue and fight. Matt had only ever tolerated Frank because he was doing the same. Forced to deal with him out of sheer pity or some kind of facade… it had to be.
And here he was saving him only to point a gun at him. It didn't sit right with his stomach. None of this was right! He could easily finish Frank off and then turn the gun to himself. Finish it all, but he hesitated. He didn't want to kill Frank. What was Frank to him anyway, a friend?
No, friends don't throw each other at walkers, and yet… He would never leave him alone. Always worried, always kind in his own strange way. Always there but Matt didn't want any of this. Why did he have to be this way?
He should have minded his own damn business when he found him. He should have just left him. It was all too confusing, all wrong. It's all his fault.
All Frank ever wanted to do was help because Frank was… Frank is a good fucking person.
And like everyone else who wanted to help Matt Frank's paying the price.
More cracks formed on the display window forcing him to steady the gun. Yet the display managed to hold.
He dropped the gun, shaking Frank's shoulder.
"Wake up, wake up!"
The shakes grew more forceful as panic welled up inside Matt. He could hear them all gathering outside around them. He couldn't shoot Frank, but that didn't mean he could sit here waiting to die. Matt scrambled up using the counter as support as he dug around for anything that could save them. He flipped over cups, throwing coffee mixes and cream.
He found a fabric flyer hanging over them, a common kitchen knife, and bags of trash. All the movement made Matt's breath quicken. His heart was pounding in his ears. Everything was getting too much, the smell. He hated that damn smell!
He froze. A haunting theory plagued his mind but it might be his only chance. He grabbed unused trash bags and yanked the fabric down tearing away at it with the knife. Grabbing a box of gloves and layering them on his hands as much as he could.
The grones outside grew louder, soon followed by a loud crack that sent shivers down Matt's spine but he kept working. As cracks grew larger, drawing large lines across the entire display.
He put his head over the hole in the fabric like a makeshift poncho. Putting one over Frank's head and tearing a large gash he wrapped it around Frank's wounded leg, wrapping it over with a trash bag and tying it. Putting on as many layers as possible. He'd hoped Frank would flinch, show any signs of life but he didn't.
"I'm gonna get us out of here." He tugged the jacket underneath the layers tighter around Frank's figure. "So don't die on me alright. Eve-everything's gonna be alright."
Matt forced himself to stand and the world spun. Breath in. Breath out. Matt repeated, gun clenched in his hands. He swung the back door open, shooting down the first walker, and grabbed the carcass's hind legs, quickly dragging it inside. His fingers tingle with disgust, his nose burning. He held onto the wall gagging, his stomach convulsing, but nothing came out. He pushed himself off the wall forcing himself to keep going. He positioned himself over the body of a once-living breathing person. With family, with loved ones.
"Come on, come on." He let out a shaky breath and grabbed the knife off the counter plunging it into its stomach.
His body quivered and wetness pressed against the corners of his eyes. Blood began polling around his fingers making his eyes widen in dread at the cold liquid. His senses blur in and out of focus. Don't pass out, he repeated to himself. Matt ran the knife down, opening the dead man's stomach and unveiling a platter of rotting organs and discolored blood.
He wanted to cover his nose, to get away. He's sick. So fucking sick… and what if he was wrong? Matt shook his head, knowing there was no turning back from this.
"I-I'm s-or…ry. So sorry."
With a broken scream, he pounded the knife until a mixture of blood and shredded organs remained. Tossing the knife aside he dug his hands into its stomach. Spreading the chunks of blood and meat over his new garments. Then turning to Frank and doing the same. Until there wasn't a piece of fabric uncovered.
The display window shattered, finally giving out. Matt turned to curse at the sight of the pack of dead toppling on top of the chairs, and tables. It wouldn't hold them back long. He knows there's a chance it might not work. That they could be mauled alive. He clenched his eyes shut and kept going. Desperations leaked into his movements.
He dipped pieces of fabric into the blood, sticking them to himself and Frank in a rush. He feared it still wasn't enough. The black fluids covered the floor and their clothes. Now all he needed to do was test it. Matt knew the risk he was taking with the open cuts they both had.
But he was running out of options. He still had the gun and it gave him a little comfort if things managed to go wrong.
Matt froze, feeling someone towering over him. He slowly lifted his head up to the figure. A soft growl escaped its decaying mouth. Its head tilted just inches away from Matt's face studying him. It took every ounce of strength for Matt to keep himself from shooting. From running. His fingers gripping the gun. They were surrounded. Time stood still for them, more coming to look at them both curiously.
Eventually, the walker turned on its heel and limped away. Causing the others to lose interest. Matt's eyes opened letting out a shaky breath he didn't realize he was holding. Observing the walkers that wandered aimlessly around them. Matt wanted to laugh. To cry out in relief but he couldn't. They were barely able to go undetected.
He couldn't waste a moment longer, he stood up sensing their reactions to his movements. Once he believed it was safe he heaved Frank up limping towards the back exit. He swung the back door open, gun still clenched in hand. A few heads turned curiously towards him, before losing interest. The cold didn't help his rigid movements slowly growing more numb as the cold clung to his skin.
He walked out the back alley, joining the sea of the dead that crowded the streets. There were more than usual. With the gunshots and car alarms blaring he shouldn't be surprised. Still, the overwhelming number made fear pulse throughout his nerves, his mind growing numb with dread. From afar as Matt partially dragged Frank, they looked the part, and importantly they smelled like it too.
The walk lingered for what felt like hours, Matt synchronizing his steps with the dead in front and behind him. Long enough for specks of snow to build up under their feet making them crunch with each step. His body felt less like his own and more like a heavy rock, he had to carry alongside Frank. His body's cries for him to stop only grew louder along the way. The appeal of letting go tempted him to give up.
He shook away all those feelings and thoughts. Frank weighs heavily over them all. Matt prayed his body would hold just a second longer, a minute more. Hanging on to Frank's faint heartbeat to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Matt winced suddenly touching another walker's shoulder. Causing it to pause, turning its head towards him. Matt choked on a whimper growing still as the walker came closer studying them.
One peep, one wrong step- one skimmed shred of emotion and they would tear him and Frank apart. By the time they were done, they wouldn't even have the pleasure of turning with little or no corpse to be inhabited.
Matt's nerves tingled his breath hitching just loud enough to be heard. He swallowed hard, his eyes tearing up. Please, don't… there just around the corner. The apartments. Matt could practically taste the sanctuary.
A snarl erupted from behind him and Matt clenched his eyes shut, expecting the attack. It never came. A street rat managed to stumble on their path not having been spotted until now. The walkers toppled on top of each other fighting for a piece. Creating a wave of Walker's throwing both of them to the ground. Matt pulled himself up only to be pushed further away from Frank.
Unable to do anything but let the unmerciful waves lead him further from Frank's faint heartbeat. He landed roughly after they stilled. Now surrounded by legs, pushing past him, walking around him.
The nauseous and painful muscle spasms of his weakened body hit him like a train. His breaths hitching.
He frantically glided his hands over the gravel feeling for the gun. For Frank. Static white fear ran through all of Matt's nerves. As his panicked grasps grew louder." Fr-Frank," he hoarsely whispered. It was getting harder to breathe, he clutched at his chest.
He'd never hear Foggy's or Karen's voice's again. He'd never get to see if they were safe. And he got the only person who dealt with his sorry ass killed. He should have pulled the trigger when he still had a chance. If only he hadn't been such a damn coward! He covered his ears trying to shut out the world. Wishing he could just turn all of his senses off.
Don't listen Red. My heart listen to my heart
Phantom echoes of Frank's comforting words filled the back of his mind. He blinked as if realizing where he was. What he was doing. Being a coward curling into himself. Depending on Frank for everything like some damsel in distress.
Where'd he go, huh? The damn devil of hell's kitchen who ain't scared of shit.
That's right, that's who he was before all this. The man without fear! He could pretend to be that man again, even if it was just for this moment. He owed it to Frank. He told him everything would be alright. That he was going to get him out of here.
Matt dug his fingers into the pavement. Ceasing his search for the gun with hesitation.
Matt closed his eyes, focusing on Frank's heartbeat. It beat weakly in Frank's chest. Matt stole his breaths back, breathing in and Breathing out. Slowly they calmed into shuddering breaths, and the groans and growls faded into the background. He began crawling back towards Frank. Legs bumped into him until he finally wrapped his hand on the familiar wrapping around Frank's leg still in place. The path became clearer, allowing him to drag Frank away from the commotion with false confidence.
Matt doesn't remember how he made it up those steps or how he dragged Frank inside. How they weren't spotted. Barricading the door before he allowed his body to collapse finally. It all felt like a fevered dream. They're alive but it somehow feels like they both just cheated death.
He couldn't do anything but curl into himself more. Not quite sure what to feel. He was relieved they didn't get torn apart. It was a victory but it didn't feel like one.
His head lifted towards Frank's direction, with a grim smile. "F-ran..k, we made it." Tears streamed down his chin. "We-were going to get you fixed up, okay."
Matt clenched his eyes, a pained growl escaping his lips as he tried to pull himself off the floor. He wasn't an inch above the floor before his hands collapsed under him. A frustrated growl escaped his lips, muffled and pained.
Matt bit his lip suppressing the scream as he tried again.
A dreamless slumber kept Frank glued down. At times his glassy eyes opened only to close again. His body felt heavy. He felt the couch, soft fabrics rubbing against his skin, and warmth. During the time under he felt restless and sluggish. not knowing how long he was out.
listening to the wind raging outside ruffling the trees and pounding against the closed windows. His vision blurred and distorted as he slowly nudged his eyes to the apartment's windows. Where he could see the blurry silhouettes of walkers from behind the sheets boarded to the windows. Blinking the memories came flooding back in.
Slicing through crowds of walkers. Being submerged in the cold water, and the bullet that ripped through his leg. Red's gut-wrenching effort to carry his weight and his own. The pained look in his eyes before it all settled into pitch darkness.
I couldn't watch you die, Frank…
Frank sat up wincing at how foreign his aching body felt. As his right leg touched the floor he choked on a grunt of pain. He saw a large dressing taped just above the ankle of his leg. He lifted up the gauze and saw a dark crooked line of stitching over the angry red wound. The kid must have treated it.
Frank was wearing nothing but his boxers. His body shivered as the blankets fell off him. A thick hoodie and a pair of sweatpants were next to him waiting for him when he woke. The cold clung to him as he put on the extra layers carefully with his wound. Making him almost sink back into the warmth of his blankets if it weren't for the pain.
"Red?"
His nose scrunched letting out a wet cough that shook his ribcage. He wrapped an arm around his stomach, realizing now he was back at the apartment—barely on the first floor. Bloodied bandages, Cotton balls, and a first aid kit lay on the floor next to him. He caught a glance at his damp clothing draped over blood-stained fabrics.
Lots of blood, the culprit of the stench.
His eyes widened, noticing smeared blood trails leading upstairs. He'd seen some trails from walkers dragging themselves like snakes with half their bodies torn off. His inside's twisted.
" No, no, no. Don't fucking do this to me kid. Don't."
He grabbed a pair of scissors from the kit and stood favoring his good leg. Managing to maneuver himself not a foot away from the sofa before his body failed him. His face collided with a loud thump on the cold floor. Making his leg scream in pain at the harsh movement.
" Red!"
Frank kept crawling towards the stairs cursing his leg. Cursing the kid for going after him. He was yanked from his thoughts to the of the sound of footsteps slowly approaching him and picking up speed.
" You shouldn't be moving," Matt said, at Frank's side checking him over. Frank's heart settled, letting the pair of scissors drop to the floor.
Frank grabbed onto the kid checking for any injuries. The kid looked shaken and a bit pale. There were traces of blood but thankfully not his. His eyes were puffy like he'd been crying. but he was alive.
"Are you hurt?... Red."
"I'm okay, I'm okay," Matt said, looking away from Frank's concerned eyes.
Hesitant still Frank allows Red to help guide him back to the couch. With a great deal of effort that left both of them breathless. The relief that pounded down on him, was soon swallowed by anger.
Frank yanked the kid up by his shirt collar and punched him in the face. Red's eyes widened not expecting the blow, not even bothering to realign his head to face Frank.
"You fucking hypocrite," Frank said with the most anger he could muster. The hurt and fear still seeped into his tone." Having the nerve to say you couldn't watch me die. When that's what I've been fucking doing with you! What the hell were you thinking? Running out there with the streets crawling with walkers. What's your fucking problem?"
Red's expression remained shocked, his eyes refusing to meet him staring at one spot on the floor.
"Are you that desperate to die? Is that what you w-wa..nt!" Frank squeezes his eyes. trying to block off the pain from his leg. Everything hurt but none of that mattered. Not the fact that blood was now seeping out of his cut. That his entire body quivered with strain and pain.
"...Frank, you need to calm down," Red said softly."I need to treat your leg before you open your wound more."
Frank scoffed, "I need to calm down?" You know what Red, fuck you. A second ago I thought that was your fucking blood trail!... What aren't you telling me, Red? Because the way I see it, there's no way in hell we should still be alive."
"I had a theory… I don't know how they work exactly, the walkers. I do know that they emit a different scent compared to the living. Even their decomposing corpses smell different than those who have died of other causes. They won't feed on their own no matter how desperate they look. Though they'll feed off carcasses that aren't infected I can imagine."
Frank's eyes widened connecting two and two together. The blood trail, the stench. How they even got here none of it made sense.
" What did you do?"
For a second Matt looked lost. Like he'd forgotten where he was or what they were talking about. Making a fresh wave of concern wash over Frank." Answer me!"
Red jumped, snapping out of his daze. "I cu-cut a dead man open. We wore his inside as camouflage. It worked. We were able to walk through hoards of walkers because of it."
Frank's fist snapped up in anger ready to reel into Matt's face. He clenched his teeth trying to gain control of his anger. Frank didn't know if he heard the words right. Or what to make of them. The same Red that gagged whenever Frank would put a bullet or smash through a walker's head. Committing something so gruesome on a gamble for their lives. Red's grim expression didn't change. Reluctantly Frank's fist landed at his side.
"You put both our lives at risk for a theory. Do you understand the fucking severity?"
"It WORKED didn't it?" Red snapped only to catch himself. His expression reverted back into hurt and confusion.
" I'll tell you what happened, We got fucking lucky. That's all."
"This could save us. We could easily get across anywhere. Preserving weapons and ammo. "
" What do you want me to say? Fucking congratulations."
"WHAT choice did I have? Do you think I wanted this?" Red grew defensive, gripping back at Frank." I don't know if I could even consider myself human after ripping a man apart like that. I reek of blood, the smell won't come off. His blood is still on me."
"It wasn't a man, none of those things out there are people anymore. Do you hear yoursel-"
Frank cut himself off with a wave of wet coughs. Shaking his ribcage and leaving him breathless. He swallowed hard, feeling a different lump in his throat. Shit, just what I need.
"Frank You need to res-"
"Y-You're never pulling that shit again. Do you hear me?" Frank said with as much authority he could muster. He knows he doesn't look in any shape to put the kid in his place. Then again neither was Red. They both looked out of breath and deadly pale. At this point, it was a contest to whose body could withstand the abuse.
Matt's face hardened," That shit I pulled saved your life! Maybe if you hadn't run out there like an idiot we wouldn't be in this mess. I wo-wouldn't have had to- I wouldn't have-"
Matt slumped in Frank's grasp. Frank cursed, gently leading the kid down. letting the kid's shirt collar go he leaned him against the sofa, grabbing his hand to feel for a pulse. Ignoring the pain in his leg he slid himself off the sofa and next to him.
" Shit, shit. Red, open your eyes." Frank tapped the kid's face, earning an irritated whine. More concerning was how fast Red's pulse was, and how bony the arm felt. The kid's eyes opened to Frank's relief." There you are." The kid was out of breath, his eyes darting franticly.
"F-Fra…nk."
"I got you. I'm right here. I'm right here. You just overexerted yourself, you'll be alright. We need to start getting some food into your system. Something light, do you think you can handle that?"
Red's face scrunched up in pain, his breath hitching.
" Red," Frank pressed again, concern edging his voice.
" Why are you helping me?"
"Can we not do this now?"
" I know, you're st-still looking for the people who killed your family. Why bother at all with me? All I've e-ev…er done is cause problems and weigh you down. I know what your family means to you, Frank. You know the chance of Foggy and Karen still being ali-alive.
Why sacrifice it all? Do you feel like you owe me some kind of favor? Some kind of unpaid debt? Because last time I remember I was a shit lawyer for you. Or- Or was it because of this night with the Irish mob? Why throw it all away for me?"
" I'm not here because I owe you some shit favor, Red! …Listen, the people I'm after pull strings, they get away with bad shit. They are the kind of scumbags that keep coming back. I can guarantee a good number are still out there.
But right now my priority is finding the counselor and Karen. She's important to me too.
And right now you need someone to snap you back into your senses. I know I'm not who you need right now but I'm all you got. And Yeah, you're a pain in the ass. You do stupid shit, but … you're worth keeping around."
" I alm…ost got us both eaten alive. I-I put a gun to your head. Cut a man o-ope…n. It's my fau-fault your legs… it's my fault."
" If it wasn't for me you would have never had to go through all that fucked up shit…It's okay now. But you can't run out like that and scare the shit out of me…"
Red face twisted in confusion and hurt. Making Frank wish he could take back all the yelling. The frustration. The punch because all he really wanted to do was hold the kid. He can't keep doing these close calls. He swears his heart's going to go out.
" T-Then why did you leave?"
And at that moment Frank felt his heart crack a little.
"Because I-I… don't know what to do with you, Red. I really don't. I started wondering when I'm going to wake up and find you dead. I don't wanna force food down your throat. I don't want to force you to live. It was stupid running out there. I should have known you'd be stupid enough to follow me. And I almost got you killed."
Frank felt wetness pressing against the corners of his eyes but he refused to let them grow into any more than that. He's so fucking tired of all of this shit.
"I don't wanna bury you, Red."
Something inside Red shook at that sentence. Tears slid down into his brown hair.
" You're tough shit when you wanna be. Fight back. So stop this, stop it now." Frank said with a pleading tone."You can survive this."
It grew quiet. And he clenched his eyes, scared the kid was just going to keep going.
Red sniffled," You're leg. Let me treat it pl- please. Then I'll eat something."
This little shit. Scared him too many times in one day and he's more worried about his leg.
Frank sighed before agreeing to Matt's request. He gave the kid time to gather himself. Then he got to work fixing Frank's stitches and applying gaze and clean dressing. Once finished Matt stilled, his eyes glazed over. For a moment a stillness settled over them both. When Frank blinked Red was curling into himself, his hands on his head fingers digging into his scalp.
"...Red."
Frank reached to stop the kid from hurting himself. Making him flinch in the process. "Easy," Frank said gently removing Red's hands. Getting a better look at his pained vacant eyes. It was killing him, everything was tearing him apart from the inside and it hurt. Because those wounds Frank couldn't help, couldn't fix. He hasn't been able to mend his own.
At that moment Frank pictured how alone and scared he must have been. Having to cut a man open, wearing his insides, and walking through crowds of walkers. Frank knew the kid enough that it would haunt him for the rest of his life.
"The ma-walker…I still smell him. Still feel him on me."
A family photo sliding open from a walker flashed in Frank's memory. Now speckled in black blood. Frank put a gentle hand on Red's shoulder wanting to hug him. Instead, he gave him a reassuring squeeze. Keeping him anchored there in that spot with him.
"I know…"
