A/N: I know that is a vicious cycle... but I am reaaaallly sorry.

Kylie1403: Hey, thanks a lot. Look, you'll have to read to find out if someone will cheat. Because I'm not going to tell you. Hehe. Just to keep the people reading it... Sorry if I can't say too much. When you mean that it's hard to read some things you're meaning the 3 firsts chapters right?

Igraine Black: Hey, I am working on it. I'll send the chapter for my beta and she will proofread it to me :) Hey the Black in your nick is of Sirius Black? I soooo love him...

Gilmoreaddict: Thanks. Well Rachel will stay for awhile.

Labyrith: Here it is. God, I'm so happy that you guys are liking it.

Masamor99: yeah it took a lot of time to update blush, sorry.

ProFfeSser: My dear beta. You're the best one. I wouldn't be able to write it without your help. You're always here for me and even when the subject isn't the fic you help. You're amazing. I mean it :D Thanks a lot. Owww almost crying here. Hehe.

I hope that the chapter's size will in some way reward you guys. I finally could right this chapter, and I am so happy for doing it. When I finished it I felt a pretty good relief. I'm anxious to know what you think of it.

Disclaimer: Haha, just putting it here to let you guys know the obvious. They aren't my. Ohhh my God I'm so surprised. Yeah... do what? But they are in good hands anyway ;P

Chapter 13 – Can someone press the "pause" button, please?

— Of course I'm excited, Liz. Why wouldn't I be? — Lorelai asked.

— It's just a question that everyone's asks... But do you already know if it's a boy or a girl? — Liz asked.

— No I don't. But Luke doesn't wants to know. He says that it's better to wait but I want to know as soon as it's possible I'll ask my doctor when that is. Do you want me to tell you when I find out?

— Sure. I'm so happy for you, Lorelai. Hey, as you don't know yet, what do you want? Another girl?

— I guess what comes will be welcome, you know? But to tell you the truth I was hoping for a boy. 'Cause I already have Rory. And it would be great for Luke, because he can teach the boy how to fish, how to fix things... — Lorelai smiled at the thought.

— I so want to see Luke saying cute things to the baby, have these cute baby talks... I wish I could be around.—Liz said, kind of sad.

— Why don't you move to Stars Hollow. It'd be great to have you around. Why don't you move? — Lorelai asked and sipped her soda.

— It's complicated. I want to be around you guys, but the things where I'm searching for aren't here, you know?

— Yeah — Lorelai shrugged. Then Luke entered the house — Hi hon — Luke leaned in to kiss her — It's Liz.— Lorelai pointed at the phone — Luke just came home, Liz. Do you want to talk to him?

— No, I can't. Jess is already complaining over here. He wants to go to the book store, as always. But tell him I said hi, and congratulate him for me. — Liz smiled.

— Dirty! — Lorelai exclaimed giggling and Luke rolled his eyes— Okay, Liz. I'll hang up now. Give Jess a kiss.

— Okay, tell Rory that I said hello. Bye. — and with that Liz hung up.

— Did you tell her? — Luke asked siting on the couch.

— Mmhumm. — she murmured — She told me to congratulate you. — Lorelai smiled and after that she kissed him — Is it a nice way to congratulate you? — she smiled.

— Depends if it's you or Liz congratulating me. — he teased and kissed her cheek. — Where is Rory?— he asked, realizing that she wasn't in the living room.

— She is reading her new book. I bought it before and she loves it. She thanked me like a hundred times. That girl is so easy to please.

— I've heard your mother's message. — Luke said cautiously.

— Nice way to change the subject. — she complained, a little annoyed — and yeah I've heard it too. What's the matter? — she asked sipping the soda.

— I was wondering... Wouldn't it be good for you to tell her about the baby? I mean on her birthday. — Luke locked his eyes with Lorelai's.

— No Luke. No way. — she shook her head — It certainly wouldn't be good. She'll find something to complain about. I don't think it's a good idea tell her. — Lorelai sighed.

— Okay Lorelai. On her birthday party you can say that you've gained some weight. But what about another time you'll see her? You'll say that you felt like putting a pillow under your dress or something? — Luke asked sarcastically.

— It could work. — she shrugged.

— Lorelai...

— Luke...— she joked with a smile. But when she saw the stern look on his face she sighed — Okay I'll figure something. But I don't want to tell her on her birthday party. She'll humiliate me like she always does, but this time it would be in front of a hundred people. And our little disagreement would have a huge proportion and... — Lorelai sighed — I just don't want to tell her now. I'm so happy about it that I don't want her ruining everything. Okay? —Luke nodded and rubbed her hair.

— Okay. — he smiled at her and she kissed him.

— I'm going to check on Rory. — she stood up and walked towards Rory's room.

— Okay I'll make dinner.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lorelai woke up the next morning feeling that something was wrong. She was covered in sweat and felt cold.

She knew it was her dream that made her feel like this, but she couldn't remember what happened in her dream. She was breathing hardly and her hand was trembling. She tried to inhale and exhale slowly.

Lorelai wiped away the sweat from her forehead with the palm of her hand and sat up in bed. As she calmed down a little, she started to feel pain in her lower abdomen. It wasn't hurting to bad, but the pain was there and that was concerning her.

She stood up slowly and looked around the room. Then she realized Luke probably went to the diner already. Grabbing her robe she descended the stairs holding the banister tightly. She found Rory in the kitchen pouring herself some coffee.

— Argh! — Lorelai exclaimed when she inhaled the coffee's smell — Get out of here with that! — Rory drank the coffee in a gulp.

— What's the matter? — Rory asked. Lorelai sat on the chair and put her hand on her abdomen — Mom? Is everything alright? — Rory asked with a worried look. Lorelai nodded slowly and panted.

— I'm alright hon. — she gasped hardly and forced a smile — Are you going to school?

— Yeah I am. But I still feel like you aren't alright. Tell me, are you feeling something? Any pain? — Lorelai shook her head.

— I'm just...— she closed her eyes tightly and bit her lips as she suppressed a scream —fine. — Rory looked at her and shook her head.

— Mom you don't seem okay. The time you were throwing up you said that everything was okay. But you fainted in the middle of the diner and later you found out that you're pregnant. — Rory stood up and walked towards her mother. She kneeled and caressed her mother's cheek.— Mom, we're friends. You can count on me. You know that.

— I... — she took a breath and hugged Rory tightly — I just had this dream that I can't seem to remember. But I know that it was pretty bad, and now I'm feeling this pain in my abdomen and I don't know what it is...— Lorelai felt a tear rolling down her cheek. Rory dried it and hugged her mother again.

— You have to lie down for awhile. Okay? Don't be afraid, everything will be alright mom. Everything. — Rory's forced a smile to convince her mother. Lorelai nodded slowly. — Okay.— Having the wall as a support, Lorelai walked towards the couch and laid down.— I'm cold. — she grimaced when the pain became stronger.

— I'll grab you a blanket. Wait for me.

— I'm sorry but I'm just going to run the marathon. — she tried to joke. Rory smiled at her and climbed the stairs.

Lorelai watched her daughter climb the stairs and closed her eyes. She didn't understood what was happening. Maybe it would be better to go to her doctor. She took another breath and tried to clear her mind. She grabbed the phone and was already dialing Luke's number when she felt something wet between her legs.

She ran towards the bathroom. The tears were rolling harder down her cheeks. The pain became even worse. Lorelai opened the bathroom door and sat on the toilet. She took off the robe and lowered her sweatpants.

It wasn't until then that she realized what she was doing. She yelled as loud as she could. After that she started crying harder, the fear dominating her. She hugged herself and didn't tried to hold it in. She looked down at her panties one more time and sobbed. She yelled again, desperately.

She couldn't believe. Her little baby. Her kid. Now it was just...She looked at Rory who was standing in the door opening, shocked.

Lorelai opened her arms, like she was begging. Rory ran towards her mother and hugged her as tightly as possible. The tears started to roll down Rory's cheeks as well and Lorelai felt the tears on her shoulder. They pulled apart, both with a scared face. Rory opened her mouth thousands of times, like she was about to say something. But it seemed like all the words that she knew were erased from her mind. There weren't any words good enough to express her sadness.

Lorelai closed her eyes and felt that it was still dripping. Rory hugged her once more and it felt like seconds but they spend a good minute there.

Rory looked around and found the phone on the floor. When Lorelai ran towards the bathroom, she had thrown the phone on the floor without realizing it. Rory grabbed the phone and handed it to Lorelai.

Lorelai took it and slowly dialed the diner's number.

After a few rings he answered.

— Luke's — he said in his usual grumpy tone. Lorelai heard his voice but didn't said anything. How could she tell Luke that their child... — Say something or I'll hang up. — Luke said annoyed. Lorelai tried to form a sentence, or even to say his name. But nothing came. All she could think about was what was happening. About how all of her happiness…., about a life that now was just... blood. — Okay I'm hanging up. — then Luke heard Lorelai sobbing, he didn't knew who was on the other side of the line but that sob stopped him from hanging up.

— Luke. — Lorelai finally said in a whisper. Rory squeezed her hand to let her know that she was there.

— Lorelai?— Luke asked concerned.

— Yeah.— she murmured.

— Lorelai what's happening? — Luke asked terrified — Are you okay? Is the baby okay? — Lorelai sobbed even harder when she heard Luke's words. — Lorelai? — she didn't answered. — I'll be there as fast as I can. — Luke said when he realized that she wouldn't say much more. — Lorelai... — he restarted — I love you.

When he hung up she handed the phone to Rory who grabbed it and put it aside. Rory kissed her mother's cheek and walked towards the kitchen. She grabbed a cup and poured some water. Then she walked back to the bathroom and handed it to Lorelai.

— I'll grab you a... — Rory started but Lorelai didn't seemed to be listening. Rory went upstairs and put some clothes in a bag. Then she grabbed a pair of jeans for Lorelai to wear now they were going to the hospital. Rory was about to close the wardrobe when she saw the baby clothes in the corner. She put the bag and the jeans on the bed and grabbed the little clothes. Feeling that soft clothes in her hands made her cry again. She didn't knew if she was crying because of the baby or because of her mother's pain. It was probably both. She took the other baby clothes and put them on the bed. Then she grabbed another bag and put the clothes in it. After that she took the stairs from behind the wardrobe and climbed it. She put the bag on the top of the wardrobe. Rory took a deep breath, descend the stairs, took the bag and the jeans, got out of the room and walked towards the bathroom.— Mom... — Lorelai looked up at her with red eyes and sighed. She dried her cheeks with her hand. — Are you feeling... is... do you... the pain...

— It still hurts... not as much as before... but still... — Lorelai murmured and Rory nodded. They kept silent for awhile until Lorelai finally asked what she was about to ask when she saw the blood for the first time. — Do you think that it's possible for the baby to be still in there? I mean, alive?— she dried her cheeks again as the tears hadn't stopped falling.

Rory hesitated, she thought that it was a really slight possibility. She didn't wanted to tell her mother that she thinks that the baby... but she also didn't wanted to get her hopes up. Lorelai kept looking at her, waiting for her answer. She wanted so badly that her baby would still be inside of her. She just couldn't believe that the plans that she made, the future that she was waiting for, the happiness that she was feeling, the baby that was inside of her was... gone. Everything was gone. With the thought she covered her face in her hands and cried harder, the tears rolling furtively.

Lorelai and Rory heard footsteps and looked at the door. A few seconds later they saw Luke's figure. Luke looked at the two of them with a mix of confuse and concern.

Luke approached Lorelai and was about to ask what was happening when he saw Lorelai's bloody panties in a glance. He pulled his hands through his hair and closed his eyes. He pulled Lorelai up and hugged her tightly. She held his flannel strongly not wanting to let go. Luke felt her tears on his shoulder as he felt his own on his cheeks. He tightened the embrace. After a few minutes he pulled back and kissed her lips softly. Luke looked at Rory who was still crying. He gestured her to give him the clean clothes. He helped Lorelai change and put his arms around her when they walked towards the truck. Rory grabbed the bag, locked the door and went towards the truck as well.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

If Lorelai's mind wasn't so far away, she would have noticed that for the first time in his life, Luke was driving rapidly, breaking all the speed limits. Luke was trying get to the Hartford Memorial Hospital quickly, not caring about the signs that he passed or the police officer that he didn't saw waving at him to stop. All that he wanted was to arrive at the damn hospital to check up his wife and their baby.

He tried to focus on the road while his head was spinning and the tears almost spilled. Lorelai was feeling pain and his kid was almost no part of his life anymore. He questioned a hundred times why this was happening. Why such a mean thing.

Rory was on the backseat, hugging herself as she forgot to grab her coat. She looked at the bag that she placed on her left side and grabbed it. She searched for a blouse that she put in there for Lorelai and took it. She placed it around herself and rested her head against the window. She tried not to cry anymore, to hold it in for both her parents as they needed her. She knew they would need all the support. She didn't believe that they had much chance. They probably already lost the baby. Quietly she prayed for a miracle, or at least for her parents to have enough strength to get passed it. She sighed quietly and started her prayer again.

The windows were closed and Lorelai was wearing a coat that Rory handed her when they climbed in the car, but she still felt cold. She wasn't crying anymore, she wasn't sobbing, she wasn't thinking, she wasn't wondering. She was just feeling cold and pain, that pain that came all over again as it did before the bleeding. She rested her chin on her right hand while Luke held the another one and squeezed it. Although, Lorelai wasn't feeling his hand over hers, she wasn't feeling her chin on her hand. She was feeling sadness and there was nothing that she or anyone else could do would make it go away.

Lorelai closed her eyes trying to get some rest. But her mind started thinking again. The last thing that she wanted to do. Her mind was giving her that message since she saw the blood in her panties. The message that the dream had warned her for. She wasn't trying to remember the dream, in fact she was trying to make herself believe that all of this was a dream, nightmare would be a more appropriate word. She sighed loudly and Luke turned his head towards her, trying to read her expression and to figure out what she was thinking.

He rubbed her hand but she didn't looked at him. It seemed like when she would tilt her head even a little, it would hurt more than it already did.

Lorelai's mind was forcing her to remember that morning's events, hugging Luke, calling him, crying with Rory, seeing the blood, running towards the bathroom, sitting on the couch, talking to Rory in the kitchen, descending the stairs, waking up covered in sweat, dreaming.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lorelai was walking towards the diner with her baby in the carriage and Rory by her side.

— Of course not, Rory. WB is much better than ABC. — Lorelai argued but Rory shook her head.

— Mom ABC is better as CBS, you're so stubborn you know? — Rory rolled her eyes.

— Oh the DNA honey, the DNA. And still CBS can be better than WB, however WB is better than ABC, and nothing is going to stop me from saying that. WB is better, better, better — then the baby started to cry and Lorelai stopped talking and picked up the baby.

— Huh. Interesting. — Rory smiled — I thought nothing would stop you from saying that WB is better than ABC.

— Aha! — Lorelai pointed her forefinger to Rory as she was swinging the baby to get him to stop crying.— Elvis honey, mommy is going to feed you, just wait a bit before we're arriving at Luke's. You know where your cute daddy works.— then she turned to Rory — Did you just say that WB is better than ABC?— Rory rolled her eyes — Well, I think so.

— No! I said that you said it. I'm not going to change my mind, mom. — then Rory opened the diner's door and Lorelai entered. Rory carried the carriage inside and closed the door. — Dad! Coffee please! I guess I'll need plenty of it this morning.— Luke approached and kissed Rory's cheek. Then he turned to the baby and caressed his cheek. Lorelai smiled at Luke and he smirked leaning in to kiss her. He pressed his lips against hers and she closed her eyes.

— Hey baby. — she said smiling when she sat down on one of the chairs. — I already missed you.

— How is that possible as I left the house an hour ago? — Luke asked awhile Lorelai started to feed her son.

— Well, because you're my lovey dovey Luke and I miss you. You know I need my family together every single minute.— the baby held Lorelai's finger in his little hand and closed his eyes slowly enjoying his food.

— Then I'll have to admit that I missed you too. And I missed my little girl and my little boy. — Luke smiled.

— Since the baby is born you've being calling me little girl. — Rory commented.

— Why, don't you like it?— Luke asked.

— Of course I do. Is cute. — Rory smiled and winked at him.

— I'm not cute. — Luke pointed.

— Of course you are. — Rachel said appearing behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. She kissed his cheek and Luke smiled.— Hey baby. I've missed you.— she smiled and Luke smirked leaning in to kiss her passionately. Lorelai's eyes widened and her mouth dropped.

— How is that possible when I came downstairs only ten minutes ago?— Luke asked and Rachel put her forefinger over his lips and said "shush". She pointed at Lorelai who was watching the scene in total disbelief. As the baby wasn't drinking anymore, Lorelai took his little mouth away from her nipple and kept swinging him.

— Well I missed you and that's important. — Luke smiled at her brightly and kissed her passionately in the middle of the diner.

— What the hell are you doing?— Lorelai yelled but no sound came from her mouth. She stood up.

— Oh thanks.— Rachel said looking at Lorelai. She grabbed the baby and started to swing him— Isn't he adorable? — Rachel asked in a baby voice. She pouted and then kissed the baby — Thank you so much for feeding him for me. — Rachel smiled and Lorelai looked at her confused and mad — You know, I didn't had much time to do it, I was really busy. — she winked at Lorelai and kissed Luke again. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He caressed the baby and smiled at him.

— John is so good looking when he is asleep.— Luke commented.

— Good looking, Luke? Come on, say that he is pretty or cute... good looking sounds weird for a baby.— Rachel murmured.

— I don't say cute. — Luke grimaced — He is good looking and that's it. Period.— Rachel smiled and kissed him again.

— Lorelai thank you again for taking care of him for me. You can go now. — Rachel forced a smile and Lorelai's mouth dropped.

— What do you mean by "you can go now"? — she asked.

— That you can go now.— Rachel rolled her eyes and started to walk towards the counter when Lorelai slapped Rachel's shoulders. Rachel turned around.

— Where do you think you're going with my son?— she almost yelled — Give him to me! — she yelled this time as she realized that Rachel wouldn't give him to her. — Rachel I'm serious! I'll yell louder. — Lorelai screamed and Rachel looked at her puzzled.

— Are you crazy Lorelai? He's my son! My son! — Rachel screamed louder and held the baby tighter. Lorelai tried to take the baby away from Rachel but failed.

— GIVE HIM TO ME!— she yelled and now besides from the people in the diner, the people on the street looked at her— I'll call the police right now if you don't give Elvis to me.

— Elvis? — Rachel asked. — His name is John. I guess you're confusing him with another child. I didn't even know that you had a kid! — Rachel said looking at Lorelai like she was crazy.

— Where are you talking about? I have Elvis and I have Rory! — she yelled again and then Rachel's mouth dropped.

— I understand that I have beautiful kids and an amazing husband — she pointed at Luke — but they're my family, freak. My family. Don't try to steal them away from me. Because you can't! — Rachel said nervously.

— They are my family, Rachel. Rory, Elvis and Luke. My family. — Lorelai cried.

— Luke! — the baby started to cry. — Please get this woman out of here. She's waking up the baby. Now it will take an eternity for him to fall asleep again. — Rachel asked and Luke nodded.

— Please, go away okay. We promise that we won't call the police or something. Just get out. — Luke said but Lorelai stood still.

— Luke! You are my husband, and Rory and Elvis are our kids. Don't you remember? — she asked and Luke shook his head

— Please, just go. — he repeated.

— Rory! — Lorelai turned to her. — You remember that I'm your mother, right? You know that you're my kid. You're Lorelai just like me. I named you after me. I am your mother, please tell me that you remember me!— Lorelai begged and Rory looked at her with pity in her eyes.

— I'm Aurora, okay? Please... Rachel is my mother. I'm sorry. — she said carefully and shrugged. — She prefers ABC over WB.

Lorelai screamed but again no sound came from her mouth. The image of Luke and Rory by Rachel's side and her holding the baby was the last thing on her mind before she realized that she was transported to another place. It was a cliff. She was almost falling. She leaned forward a little and saw nothing but the sea.

— Elvisssssssss!— she yelled and fell, never hitting the water.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The sound of the engine turning down, shook Lorelai out of her daydream. She looked around and realized that Luke parked the car. She took a long breathe and looked at him. He quickly got out of the car and helped her. He carried her in her arms while Rory stepped out of the car as well.

They walked towards the hospital's entrance. They looked around and saw some people sitting in the waiting area. Looking up, they could see a sign that said where the nurse's station was. They walked towards the nurse's station and soon a nurse appeared behind the desk, asking what she could do for them.

— Please — Luke started — she is pregnant but she is bleeding... I guess — the nurse nodded and said that she would come back soon. And she did. A few seconds later she came back, bringing a wheelchair with her. Luke kissed the forehead of a quiet and nervous Lorelai, then placed her in the chair.

The nurse asked a few questions about Lorelai's condition and wrote the answers down.

— Follow me, please. — the nurse asked and once more they nodded quietly. — They walked straight ahead and turned left after a while, entering the second door.— As this situation is urgent, we'll get the rest of the information later, okay? — the nurse showed a small smile and closed the door behind her as she left them alone with the doctor.

— Hello, I'm doctor Mc Cane.—he introduced himself. — We'll do a ultrasound to check on the baby, do a pelvic and some other exams okay? — they nodded — Now Lorelai, are you still bleeding? — the doctor asked and she shook her head.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Lorelai took all the necessary exams. Lorelai had to change in one of those hospital gowns and stepped into a bed when she was done. Rory stayed with her as Luke had to talk to the nurse.

When he came back, he went straight towards her and kissed her forehead. When she looked into his eyes she saw that protective and comfortable look that was always there when she needed it. When Rory had the measles, when she fell of the swing, that look was there to assure her that everything would be okay. She hugged him tightly. She already knew that for the first time in her life, things wouldn't be okay.
Since Luke came back to the room, forty minutes that felt like forty hours passed and no one had enough strength to dare, or even want to, speak a word. These minutes were filled with loud sighs, tears and expectation. An expectation, a hope that everything wasn't more than a scary moment. That they would be able to go home and keep going on with their plans... A last sigh came from Lorelai before the doctor emerged in the room.

Luke tried to read his expression. But he was an experienced doctor and he knew how to deal with the situation. How not to show any emotions until necessary.

— Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore-Danes — Lorelai, Luke and Rory looked up at him. — I've called your doctor — he glanced at Lorelai — and she is coming to check on you. — Lorelai nodded. Did they need to do more tests to give her the answer she's been waiting for?

— But we already have the test results. I assume you want to know immediately.

They nodded and held their breathes, each of them trembling with exasperation. And then they heard the words coming from the man's mouth.

— Unfortunately, Lorelai, you had a miscarriage. — the doctor said slowly. As if she was a tourist that didn't understood the native language to well.

Lorelai barely moved, she was too busy letting the tears fall. She had the confirmation of what she was afraid of. Luke was the one who stood up. He wanted to take the bed that was next to Lorelai's and throw it on the floor. He had to do something to free his anger. In a quick motion he socked the wall, not even caring that it made his fists throb. He pressed his forehead against the wall and finally let the tears that wanted to fall so badly go, expressing his sadness. Rory, who was still standing the same way she did the moment the doctor spoke those words and leaned in to hug her mother. She closed her eyes tightly, trying hard not to cry. She was the one who had to be stronger for all of them.

— It was a complete miscarriage. I know that this is hard and there's nothing I can say that would make you feel better. But it's good that it was complete so the change for any complications is very low. — he continued but no one was listening.

— Did I do something wrong? — Lorelai asked, interrupting him. Keeping him from saying all those medical things.

— No you didn't, Lorelai. — he said carefully — While we were examine you, you told me that you didn't drank any liquor, you didn't smoke, you didn't do any hard activities. You took good care of yourself. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't your husband's fault. You can't blame anyone because in this case, nobody is guilty. A miscarriage is very common in the 3 firsts months. It can happen to everyone.—he assured.

— I was bleeding 2 days ago. — Lorelai said quietly — If I'd came here or if I'd call my doctor, would it have made any difference? — she asked but she didn't expected an answer — I thought about calling my doctor, but then I told myself "Lorelai, you're freaking out. The woman said it's normal for some women to menstruate for a while. So some women still menstruate for awhile. You just have to calm down. Nothing is happening". Well what can I say? — she paused and then continued — It looks like besides some women that menstruate during pregnancy, some women have a miscarriage.— she said sarcastically — I just wanted to be on the group of women that actually have their baby. — she gave the doctor a flashing look. Luke approached her and kissed her forehead several times, but it didn't calmed her down — You know what? If I did what I thought that was right, and that means to be worried about still menstruating and if I had went to another doctor it would have resulted in me still having a baby to wait for. Still having a baby to buy clothes for and not throwing the ones that I already bought in the garbage. — she said grinding her teethes.
The doctor looked at her, feeling pity. He knew that telling her that it wouldn't have mattered, or that she wasn't wrong wouldn't change her mind.

— Lorelai. — Luke started and finally she looked into his eyes — It isn't our fault, it isn't doctor's fault.— Lorelai shook her head.

— Things could have gone differently, Luke. It's just that... I want my baby back.— she looked straight ahead, seeing a painting on the wall. Luke sat down on the bed and rubbed her hair.

— Me too.— he confessed in a whisper. Rory joined them for a hug. The doctor waited a few minutes to say something.

— Lorelai, you have to stay on the hospital this night for observation. We'll admit you to the gynecology ward. Tomorrow around lunch time you can go home. Your doctor will come and see if you're condition is good enough for you to leave. I'll be here to check on you a few times and if you need something you can page a nurse. — When Lorelai didn't replied, Rory thanked him and whispered an "I'm sorry". He nodded and gave her a small smile. — I leave you a pill on the drawer for if you want to sleep. There will be someone soon to transport you upstairs. — he closed the door behind him and left the 3 of them alone.

Lorelai looked at the closed door, just thinking. Then she grabbed the pill and a glass of water. She didn't wanted to think. She was too tired. Luke pecked her lips and a few minutes later Lorelai fell asleep.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

When Lorelai woke up she realized that it was afternoon already and that soon the darkness would dominate the sky. She looked around and saw she was in a different room than before. Rory was lying next to her, and Luke was sitting on the chair. It seemed like he was far away. Lorelai closed her eyes, trying to sleep again. When she couldn't she called Luke. He turned around and smiled at her. It wasn't like a real smile. He had no reason to do so. He just wanted to let her know that she could talk to him.

— You've been asleep for over 4 hours. — he commented — I hope it wasn't a nightmare.

— My life turned into a nightmare. But no, it wasn't a nightmare. In fact I didn't dreamed at all you know. The old black thing.— she said siting up in the bed — And you? Had some sleep? — she brought the sheet up to her chest to cover her better.

— Nah. Rory needed some company, she fell asleep about 30 minutes ago and I thought that you'd wake up soon so I haven't even tried to sleep. But it's okay, I didn't feel sleepy anyway. Luke said and Lorelai nodded understanding — Do you want me to give you one of these?—he looked at the pills on her nightstand and something that seemed like a smile appeared on Lorelai's face. However, it faded quickly. — We'll make it trough this. — He stood up and walked towards her.

— Maybe — she raised her eyebrow — or maybe not... It was a boy.— she said knowingly. Luke looked at her surprised.

— How do you know? Did the doctor told you?

— No, I just knew.— she shrugged. — I dreamed about him and I knew it.

— You said that you didn't dream. — Luke said confused.

— It wasn't today, it was... — she hesitated before she added — a few days ago.

— How did the dream go? — he asked curiously.

— I don't remember. Can you give me some water, please? — she lied. He looked at her for a slow second, then he nodded, turning around. Lorelai swallowed hard and when he handed her the cup of water she drank it quickly.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

When Rory woke up, they tried to talk about other things. But in the breaks, while they tried to think of another subject to bring up, there fell an awkward silent. No matter hard they tried not to think about it, they were thinking about the miscarriage even when they were talking about how disgusting the hospital food was.

They woke up to the sound of a nurse bringing them breakfast early the next morning. It was way too early and Lorelai tried to deny the sound of the woman's steps by pulling her pillow over her head. It was working until the doctor came in the room. She started talking in her high tone.

— Good morning. — she smiled at them. Lorelai didn't even looked at her, she mumbled something like "get out" but as she still had the pillow held over her face no one heard her — I came here to check up on you Lorelai. And to discharge you. — Lorelai rolled her eyes and finally threw the pillow somewhere on the bed and looked at the doctor, forcing a smile. She realized that the nurse had already left.

— Hey doc some-women-still-menstruate. How are you? Seems like you had a pretty good morning. But let me tell you something: I've spend the whole night trying to get some sleep and as I just couldn't stop thinking about how some blood wasn't my period after all. I had to take another one of these pills to finally get some rest. And that happened about 2 hours ago. I guess you understand that isn't enough time for someone to sleep.— she said sarcastically — I read a magazine once and it said that an adult needs to sleep at last 8 hours per night. So... 8 minus 2? Yeah 6! That's the number of hours that I still have to sleep.— she grabbed the pillow and put it over her head again.

— I know that you are going through a hard time and that you're really sad but... — Lorelai put her hand up in the air so the lady stopped talking.

— Don't try to be the doctor version of Abby, because you aren't. So stop right now. This smile on your face is annoying me like hell, so please! — the doctor's face turned serious when she heard Lorelai's comment.

— I have to see another patient and I'll be back in 30 to 45 minutes. I'll give you some time to eat breakfast and take a shower.—she walked towards the door.

— Bye bye, smiley.— Lorelai waved and when the doctor closed the door she rolled over to her other side and closed her eyes again.

— Lorelai, you have to eat and take a shower, she'll be back soon.

— Mmmhumm — she mumbled but she stayed in the same position.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

5 hours later they arrived home and Lorelai went straight towards her bedroom. One hour had passed since the doctor left the room when she entered again. She did some check-ups and came to the conclusion that Lorelai could go home. They just have to wait until lunch time.

The recommendations were the regular for a miscarriage. Like not to much physical effort, staying in bed, eating light food, drinking lots of liquid...

As the doctor was telling Lorelai what she had to do and isn't allowed to do, she kept rolling her eyes and prayed for the woman to shut up. She made a mental note to find another doctor soon. The only thing that surprised Lorelai was when the doctor handed her a card from a psychologist. The lady said that if she feels like she has to express her feelings, or if she was too angry or even if she wanted to talk with someone she could call this man. Like Lorelai would do that anyway! Of course not! When she wants to talk nothing can stop her. Even if no one is around she can still talk to her friend the fork. Or with her other friend the VCR. She didn't need a psychologist. No, not at all.

As Lorelai lay down, she turned on the television and flipped through the channels trying to find something that she liked.

A few minutes later she heard some footsteps and Rory entered the room, giving her a shy smile.

— Hey. — Rory said quietly.

— Hi. — Lorelai replied and looked back towards the television.

— "Mad about you" huh? Oh I don't like that episode. Paul almost kisses the woman. — Rory commented.

— Me neither. — Lorelai changed the channel.

— Hey it's Forrest Gump! — Rory exclaimed.

— Yup. — Lorelai murmured, obviously not as excited as Rory was. Rory looked at her but Lorelai kept gazing the screen.

— Remember the first time we watched it? — Rory asked trying to keep a conversation. Lorelai nodded slightly. — Dad didn't wanted to watch it in the first place, but you pouted. He rolled his eyes and sat on the couch saying "There will be a time when your lips will dry out". We giggled and you kissed him and told him even if they are dried out it will still work on him. — Rory smiled at the thought. Lorelai looked at her but didn't say a word.— Mom?

— Huh?

— Do you wanna... talk?

— Not really in the mood. — she murmured and turned her attention back to the television. Rory nodded and rubbed her mother's hair.

— I'm here, if you want to. — Rory pursed her lips. Lorelai looked at her and her lips formed a small smile.

— Thanks, sweets.

— You're welcome, mom. — she paused but then added — dad is making lunch.

— Mmmhumm. He said it before. "Mom used to say that the life is..." — she started to repeat Forrest's words but Rory interrupted her.

— Do you want me to stay here with you or you want to be alone for awhile?

— Yeah, I guess being alone would be good now.— Rory nodded and leaned in to kiss her. Lorelai hugged her for a few minutes and then smiled at her.— Thank you, hon. You're amazing. You know that right?

— Yep. I got that from you, ya know. — Rory smiled at her once more and closed the door behind her.

When Rory closed the door, Lorelai waited a few minutes and then turned the television off. She leaned her head in the pillow and closed her eyes. Quickly as the tear rolled down her face, Lorelai wiped it away with the back of her hand. She looked around the room, searching nothing in particular. She sighed and remembered the pills where on Luke's nightstand and found a solution for her headache. Lorelai extended her hand to search the furniture, but the pill's flask wasn't there. She turned around and opened the drawer. When she looked inside she saw the flask and grabbed it. Then she saw a magazine and became curious. A magazine in Luke's drawer, very weird.

She grabbed it and her eyes grew wider when she found a marked page. It had a picture of a crib on it. In Luke's handwriting she could read "see what Lorelai thinks about this one".

Lorelai threw the magazine on the floor and placed the pillow over her head, tightening it. It didn't took too long for the fabric to become all wet.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

— Hey.— Luke said when he entered the room a few minutes later. He found Lorelai laying down on the bed. — Are you hungry? — he asked when he approached her.

— No. You can go downstairs to eat. I want to stay here for awhile. — she said, her words almost not audible because of the pillow.

— Lorelai? — he touched her shoulder slightly and she felt a chill running through her body.

— What?

— Look at me.

— No Luke. I don't want to eat, I'm just not hungry, that's all. — Luke touched her shoulder again but she pulled away. He sat down on the bed and turned her over so that she had to look at him.

— Oh... come here. — he opened his arms and she hugged him as tightly as she could.— You can cry. I'm here. — he didn't even had to say that as the tears were already over his shoulder — We're gonna... — he stopped what he was saying.

— We won't be okay. — she mumbled sadly, gazing him.

— We will, eventually. I don't know when, I don't know how, but we will. I'm promising you. — he whispered in her ear. She kissed his cheek and hugged him again.

— I liked it.— she said suddenly.

— What?— he frowned.

— The crib.

— I knew you would. — Lorelai lay her head in his lap.

— You're not hungry either?

— No. — he shook his head.

— So stay with me.

— You stay with me. — he kissed her lips softly.

— I love you.

— I love you too, Lorelai.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

When Rory was walking towards the kitchen to get her food, she realized that they didn't checked the messages on the answering machine yet. She turned around and saw the light flickering, so she pressed a button. A familiar voice was heard:

"Hey Rory, it's Christopher, your father..." Rory rolled her eyes "A few days have passed and I thought that maybe you want to talk to me now. I just want to let you know that I'm not mad at you or something. At your age is very normal to act like that..." Oh sure. "Well I'm going to Boston for a few days, so if you want to call me you can't reach me at home..." Well, Duh. "so I bought a cell phone, you know... the number is 88..." Rory pressed another button and Christopher's voice faded.

— Damn machine! — Rory exclaimed sarcastically and returned her way towards the kitchen.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Don't stone me. Pleaaaaaaaaaaase. I know that was mean, but it happens a lot in real life. Okay, this is a fanfiction but still.

LoVeLuKe: I didn't forget you, I just couldn't put a reply for you up there. Anyway. Yeees blood. Again: sorry. But it was necessary. I really appreciate your compliments. :D And I love him too.

REVIEW!