Guys I'm really sorry that I took so long to update, I know how horrible it is to expect an update. But I have this huge block about how to put in words everything that I wanted. But now here we go with this chapter. I don't really like it though but Laura said that she liked. Now I just need your opinion. By the way I want to thank Laura for proofread and you guys for the reviews. Unfortunately I am running (like always) and I can't answer each of you. But I want you to know how much I liked it, and how much I appreciate your words.

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Chapter 17 – Lorelai's outburst

Lorelai's alarm clock started to beep and less than a minute later, she opened her eyes. She turned it off angrily. She slept for less than two hours. She looked at the clock to see what time it was. A quarter to five. She forgot to adjust the clock so it would go of at six-thirty. Lorelai pressed her head against the pillows and tried to sleep again. When she looked at the clock again it was five already. For the first time in days, the hours flew by.

Lorelai sighed unhappily and got up. She grabbed a pair of jeans and a light purple sweater from the still open wardrobe.

She walked towards the bathroom slowly and took a shower. Then she descended the stairs and sat down on one of the kitchen's chairs. It was five-thirty. Rory wouldn't wake up anytime soon.

She knew that it was time. She promised that she would talk to him, that she would come in for breakfast. Lorelai wrote a small note for Rory and placed it next to the phone. Then she went outside to get her car.

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Lorelai parked the car on her usual spot and glanced at Luke, who was cleaning the counter. She was feeling so small, like a coward, because she couldn't enter and face what she knew she had to sometime. The minutes passed while she kept sitting motionless. Luke hadn't noticed her.

It was almost 6. Soon the town would start to come in for breakfast. It was now or never. She was about to get out of the car, when someone opened the diner's door. She glanced at the person, sad, angry. It was Rachel. What she was doing here? Lorelai didn't know. She saw how Luke sighed heavily.

Lorelai did trust him. She knew that nothing would happen. But she couldn't stand it anymore. 5 years ago, she thought that she was ready to share her life with someone else. To share the problems and happy moments. But now there were no happy moment for a long time. And she didn't want to share this with anyone else. She wasn't like that. She didn't need someone who's always around to catch her everytime that she falls. She rarely falls, and when she does she stands up by herself. Without a hand to support her. It has always been her.

But since she met Luke, he was always there when she needed him. He is, without a doubt, the love of her life. And just because she loves him so much, she couldn't put her problems on his shoulder. What didn't crossed her mind, was that her problems were his problems too. It were their problems. Just like it was their happiness. Maybe she was too young and unprepared for this kind of relationship. A relationship in which you have to step over the problems, to move on with life.

Maybe it was because everytime that she had a problem, before she met Luke she didn't had anyone to count on. Because of that, she didn't knew that he'd be there for her no matter what.

She needed time to discover that besides her husband and lover, he was her friend. The best one that she could ever have.

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When Luke heard the bell jingle, he thought that it was Lorelai, not realizing that it was too early for her to come in. He looked up to find an embarrassed Rachel. He sighed heavily. She was the last person he wanted to see. In fact, she was the before last person he wanted to see, Christopher was the last one. She looked at him, straight in the eyes.

— I came to apologize. — she said sincerely, but Luke didn't care.

— You've done too much damage. I want you to leave. — he replied shortly.

— I will. But I want to say something before I do. I... kissed you in a moment you were vulnerable. I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have kissed you in the first place. I guess that I just didn't realized that you are married, and that no matter what kind of problems you have with Lorelai, you are her husband. You aren't mine anymore. You haven't been since the moment I left. I've made a choice and I am paying for the consequences. So Luke, you won't be able to forgive me. But I really want you to know how sorry I am. I don't know what came into me. I just... I am really really sorry. — Luke was obviously mad at her, but he couldn't deny it, she was truly sorry.

— You are right. You didn't had the right to kiss me. I am married. And I haven't been yours in a very long time I'm not yours anymore. And I can't forgive you.

Rachel nodded, her head down. Her eyes started to well up and she knew that it was time to leave.

— I'm going back home. I won't stay here to bother you any longer. — she smiled sadly — I've thought about speaking to Lorelai, but I guess she doesn't want to see my face ever again. And if she does, she will slap me anyway. When you guys talk, tell her I am sorry. — Luke nodded, but he wouldn't say it — I hope you can still have a nice life Luke. I really do.

And with that she left, leaving Luke alone with his own thoughts.

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While Luke and Rachel talked, Lorelai drove around Stars Hollow and ended up at her house. She couldn't talk to him, not now.

She entered the house and it was quiet. She realized that Rory was still asleep. She was about to go upstairs when the phone rang. She answered it.

— Hello?

— Lorelai? — the voice asked.

— Yes. Who is it? — Lorelai asked, not really paying attention.

— This is your mother. — Lorelai sighed tiredly.

— What do you want from me this early, mother?

— Well, I decided to call you every minute of the day so I'd be able to really talk to you one time. — Emily replied matter-of-factly.

— Are you kidding? What would be that important?

— Today is my birthday, Lorelai. And I wouldn't let you forget it. Because even though you don't wanting to see me, you have a daughter who turns out to be my granddaughter, and I want to have her with me on my own birthday. — Emily said dramatically. Lorelai rolled her eyes.

— Rory will be there mom. And so will I.

— Well you could have forgotten.

— O-of course I wouldn't forget about your birthday mom. — Lorelai lied. She did forget.

— Terrific then. I'll see you at 7.

— Sure mom.

— Wear an appropriate outfit, Lorelai.

— That's what I usually do. And by the way, happy birthday. — Emily smiled.

— Well thank you.

And Lorelai hung up.

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Hours later, Lorelai rang the doorbell of the Gilmore's residence. She looked around, and saw over 40 cars parked on the streets and in front of the Gilmore's garage. She and Rory exchanged glances when the maid opened the door and they could only see a part of all the people who were inside. They thanked the maid and entered, searching for Emily.

They found her sitting on the sofa talking with two of her D.A.R friends. When she saw the girls, she stood up quickly, excusing herself.

— Rory! You look so beautiful. — Emily smiled broadly, hugging her granddaughter. Rory blushed and faked a smile. — Lorelai. — Emily greeted and kissed her daughter's cheek. — You are late.— she murmured. —Lorelai rolled her eyes.

— Happy birthday grandma. — Rory said.

— Thank you Rory. You are very sweet. Now let me introduce you to some of my friends. — then Emily looked around, searching for someone. Instinctively Lorelai and Rory did the same — Where is Luke? — Lorelai swallowed hard and Rory looked down.

— He couldn't come. — Lorelai replied.

— Why?

— He has a lot of work to do at the diner tonight and it's Caesar's day off. Caesar helps him around there usually. — Lorelai came up with the excuse quickly.

— Well, he should have closed tonight then. It's very rude of him not to come to his mother-in-law's birthday party. — Emily said disgustedly. Lorelai rolled her eyes again.

— If he wants to keep food on the table, mother, he has to work. People usually eat what we call dinner and that's what a diner serves during the night. Some food on a plate to satisfy people's hunger. And it is the money those people pay for the food that Luke uses to buy our own food. Food we eat for breakfast, lunch and guess what? Dinner. Because of that he couldn't come. Also, I didn't read any rule saying that he has to come to your birthdays parties. So don't start. — Emily's friends who were around could hear what Lorelai was saying, but pretended that they didn't. They'd gossip about it later.

Lorelai left the living room, grabbed a martini on the way and locked herself up in Richard's office.

Rory looked how her mother walked away sadly and then turned to Emily, who was standing still with a cranky face.

— You wanted to introduce me to your friends, grandma? — Rory offered. Emily nodded and turned around to go to the garden where some people were. Rory followed her.

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Lorelai stared to the sixth glass of martini she was drinking and then sipped it. Letting the taste of the alcohol melt in her mouth. She closed her eyes tiredly while she stretched out her back in the chair that she was sitting in. She heard a knock on the door and then Rory's innocent face appeared.

— Can I come in? — she asked giving Lorelai a small smile. Lorelai nodded — Are you okay?

— Yes, sweetie. It's just grandma. It's the kind of thing she always does. Put me down when I'm already on the ground.

— There's always the underground. — Rory told her. Lorelai laughed slightly.

— You are amazing, baby. What would I do without you?

— Well, you'd buy a doll to tell your jokes and watch TV shows with.

— You are better than a doll.

— Why thank you. I'm really glad that we straightened this out because I thought that the doll would win. I mean who would prefer a person instead of a doll? — Rory frowned and Lorelai smiled at her. She missed her crazy talks with her daughter.

— I'm sorry that I'm not being the great mother that I was before lately. — Rory shook her head.

— There is no need to apologize. And you still are being a great mother. — Rory rubbed her hair — I love you, mommy.

— I love you too, hon'. — Lorelai hugged her daughter tightly and they stayed like this for what seemed like forever. Then Lorelai heard someone opening the door and looked up to see her mother.

— Lorelai! — Emily exclaimed. Her daughter rolled her eyes.

— Speak louder mother, people in China didn't hear you.

— What do you think you are doing? — Emily asked angrily — You've been here for over an hour. People are starting to ask if you are feeling okay. They will think that this is a boring party.

— They are here, they can draw their own conclusions, mom. — Lorelai replied dryly. Rory pulled her hand through her hair. Why did her mother say that?

— What do you mean by that, Lorelai? That my party is boring? Is the food tasting disgustingly? Don't you like the music? — Emily asked sarcastically.

— Nothing, mom. I didn't mean anything. I was just saying that —Emily cut her off.

— It's horrible to spend your birthday party without your daughter by your side. Everyone will think that you can't stand being near me for 3 hours. It's outraging, Lorelai.

— Maybe they are right, mom. Maybe I can't stand you.

— Mom. — Rory tried to pacify things. But they didn't even listen to her.

— If you can't stand me, why did you came in the first place?

— Because you left sixty messages on my machine! — Lorelai pointed.

— For you to bring Rory.

— Fine! I'm going now. Rory, when this silliness is over you call me and I'll come to get you. — Lorelai stood up from her chair. Rory panicked.

— Mom! — she called exasperatedly.

— No Rory. I am going. I'm just sick of this. I'm sick of this house. Of her. — she pointed at Emily — I have enough problems already, I don't need any more.

— You have a lot of problems? —Emily asked — What kind of problems, Lorelai? Which outfit you have to wear tomorrow or which shoes will match perfectly? Or maybe the problem is that you can't find anything to upset me even more! — Emily almost yelled.

— You are so clueless, mother! My life is falling apart and you think that I just do things to upset you. I'm not even thinking about you. And I only do when you call me to bother me about something stupid like your stupid D.A.R. meetings! — Lorelai yelled this time. Rory shook her head, not believing that her mother just said that. And she sunk herself into the couch. Emily looked like she'd cry for a moment and Lorelai felt bad this time. But her face changed serious soon.

— Your life is falling apart? What do you exactly mean by "falling apart"?

— I mean that you finally get what you wanted for so damn long. You never wanted me to marry Luke, you never wanted me to be happy with him. Now you can dance around me, jump up and down, laugh in my face. Whatever you think that is appropriate to celebrate your victory! — The place was so quiet that Lorelai could hear everyone's breathing. Even from the people outside.

— Are you apart? — Emily asked, she didn't sound happy though. Lorelai looked at her hurtfully.

— Yes, mother. We are. — Rory was stunned. A break is different from apart. Definitely.

— Why?

— Because, mom. I'm not going to discuss my marriage with you.

— It's your fault. It has to be. — Emily raised her hand. Lorelai looked at her skeptically.

— My fault? Why does it has to be my fault? Why is it always my fault? You don't know what happened. You don't know a thing about my life mom.

— Of course I do.

— No you don't. I was pregnant and you didn't knew! I had a miscarriage and you didn't knew! — Lorelai screamed. A shocked Emily held the arm of the couch tightly not to fall.

— You were pregnant? — her voice was so low that Lorelai could barely hear her.

— Yes. A few days ago I lost my baby. You don't know how sad I was, how sad I am. So when I say to you that you have no idea about my problems and that you don't know anything about my life, I am not lying.

Silence filled the room, when Lorelai and Emily were drowning in their own thoughts. And Rory was still thinking about her parents being apart. A few minutes that felt like ages passed and then, Emily was finally able to say something.

— Why you didn't tell me that you were pregnant? Why you didn't tell me that you lost the baby? — Lorelai shook her head.

— Please mom. Not now. — Lorelai looked so tired, so out of herself. Emily couldn't believe that it was her daughter who was standing in front of her.

— No, Lorelai. I would have loved to know that you were pregnant. I would have been there for you when you lost the baby. You should have told me!

— I was planning on telling you today! — Lorelai burst — I was planning to tell you about the baby today. Luke was supposed to be here with me, telling you and dad that you had another grandchild coming. But you don't anymore. Not anymore, mom. And I just can't keep talking about this, because it is so damn hard. It's hard to talk about the baby that I'm not having anymore. It's hard to talk about the husband I no longer have. How do you think I am feeling? That I'm okay, playing it cool and smiling all the times? I'm not making jokes anymore. I don't have time on my schedule to think about jokes. Not when it is filled with thinking about how miserable my life is! — Lorelai walked towards the door and opened it. Rory took a second to realize what her mother was doing, but soon enough followed her.

Lorelai marched to the door not even caring that everyone was looking at her. They heard the whole fight. Her father tried to stop her, to make her sit and calm down a little. But she had to get away from the place. To breathe.

— Lorelai! — Emily called from the door.

— I call you when we get home, grandma. — Rory said and Emily gave her a small nod.

Lorelai opened the car and climbed in. When she could hear the engine, Rory tried to stop her.

— Mom, please. Let's just stay here for awhile. You have to cool off. You can't drive like this.

— I'm not going to stay here one more minute, Rory.

— Please mom. You are too nervous. — Rory pleaded, starting to feel scared.

— Put the seat-belt on, Rory. We're leaving. — Rory did that and so did Lorelai.

— Mom, please.

Rory had tried but Lorelai pretended that she wasn't listening. And with that she left the Gilmore's driveway, on a speed we can say that is not allowed.

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Luke was refilling a customer's cup when he had to stop thinking about Lorelai. The phone just started to ring. He didn't got it because he thought that Caesar would. When the phone rang for the 7th ring he decided to get it.

— Luke's. — he said on a grumpy voice.

— May I speak with Mr... — the person paused — oh, Mr. Danes, please?

— This is him. Who is it?

— I'm Diana Roberts and I am nurse at the Hartford Memorial Hospital... — Luke could hear that she saying something, but he wasn't really paying attention. He had horrible memories about this hospital — Mr. Danes? Are you alright?

— I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. — he said.

— No problem, sir. I was saying that I am Diana Roberts, a nurse from Hartford Memorial Hospital. I'm calling to inform you that your wife and stepdaughter were in a car accident.

Luke dropped the phone, his mouth slightly opened, he had difficulty breathing. This wasn't happening. He was going through too much already. He couldn't lose Lorelai and Rory now. He couldn't.

As his eyes started to well up, he grabbed the truck's key and left the diner, leaving everyone looking at him confused.

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Please be nice and let a review. I'll do my best to update quickly. Have a nice week you guys. Kisses.