A/N: Okay, done with this chapter. I have no idea why it turned out so short.. I've tried to make it longer but that just made it sound rambly... If that makes sense.. Anyways, I'll make the next chapter longer, since the story's beginning to wrap up.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Pevensies. I don't own the lyrics. The first set is from Over My Head and the second set is from Fall Away, both by The Fray.. Hey, that rhymed (:
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears
Edmund sprinted out of the healers' asylum, wiping away the tears as he did so. He had to get out of there. Where he was running to, he didn't know, but he did know what he was running from. As he rounded another corner and rushed through the castle entrance the tears began to flow more insistently. He received many different looks from the bystanders, some sympathetic, some confused, and some worried.
'It must be quite disconcerting seeing a King cry', Edmund thought to himself, now wiping away the tears more fervently, but still not slowing. He realized he was now in the courtyard where more people stopped their daily activities to steal furtive glances at him. He wondered if they knew why he was crying, or what loss Narnia was experiencing. Did they realize what lay in the future, with only three royals enthroned? Did they know how much Lucy meant to Narnia? Did they know how much Lucy meant to him?
'No,' he thought to himself with a sudden rage. They couldn't know how she kept their family together, how she was a constant reminder of the joyous things in life, how she could lighten nearly any situation, and most of all how her faith in Aslan encouraged them all to remain secure in their belief. She was only their Queen, not their brother.
But now she was gone. Gone.
The word echoed in his mind, but he almost refused to believe it. How could Aslan allow someone like Lucy, so young and innocent, to die?
You fall away from your past
But it's following you
And as if on cue, a memory he had worked so hard to push down and forget suddenly began to surface.
He lay on the grass reddened with his own blood, gasping for breath and clutching his stomach. The pain was almost unbearable, but as he lay there, his focus was on one thought- I deserve it. After betraying his family for his own selfish desires, he told himself he deserved to lie there dying. The morning before came to mind, where Aslan had reprimanded him for his traitorous acts, but in the end reminded him that all could be forgiven if he repented. But now, he told himself, Aslan was dead. Dead because of him. No one had told him the lion had died for him, but he knew it was true. The Great Lion, King over all Kings, died for a traitor. A traitor who didn't deserve to live. And as he closed his eyes, his breaths coming in short gasps, he accepted his fate.
The next thing he knew he was in his brother's arms, and soon in his sisters' also. He returned the gesture, but as he raised his gaze, a pair of shining golden eyes met his own. And in that one moment, he knew it wasn't the cordial that had ultimately saved him, but Aslan.
Edmund shook his head, trying desperately to push away the memory, finally succeeding in quelling the thoughts. He wasn't aware of the sand beneath his boots until he stumbled and fell. Making no attempt to catch himself, he crumpled to the ground. The tears trickled down his face and onto the sands, but he made no attempt to wipe them away, his fists too busy pounding the ground furiously. All of the rage flowed through his arms and into the meaningless beating until finally he collapsed, sides heaving in silent sobs. And as the memories slowly began to seep back into his mind, he clenched his fists and focused on only one thing- Aslan saved a traitor, why couldn't He save Lucy?
