The old wooden stairs creaked as Batman's heavy frame ascended. Putting aside his worries, Batman went through various scenarios in his mind. The lighting was bad in this part of town, and he couldn't see anything of what lay ahead in the attic. And by the condition of the abandoned building, fighting of any kind on the top floor would be a bad idea. He kept climbing. One rotted stair fell through as Batman put his weight on it.

Strategic thoughts continued to occupy his mind. He took note of everything that could be important; the attic was the fourth story of the building, there was a hallway with three doors leading off of it just off the second landing, an already-broken window stood ready for a quick escape from the third floor. He kept his worries at bay. He would not, under any circumstances, let anyone see how frightened he was. Even he didn't really know.

Finally, Batman reached the final landing. Space was more cramped than it had been, but there was still room to move around. Turning the old, rusty doorknob, Batman braced himself for whatever might lay behind the door.

But the door wouldn't open. He tried the knob again. Locked, not stuck. Batman stepped back, looking around for an alternate way into the room. But before he could get anywhere, the door opened.

"Ah, Mr. Batman! You're just in time." The Joker stood in the doorway, holding a clipboard and decked out in a lab coat and stethoscope. "Come in, come in. We were starting to wonder if you'd show. We were about to give your time to someone else!"

With nothing more than a glare, Batman snatched the clipboard from the Joker's hands. The top of the paper said, "Man, Bat," and below it were several disjointed notes and scribbles. He just had time to make out one that depicted him sitting in an electric chair, with x's for eyes, before the Joker grabbed the board back.

"Uh-uh, the patient isn't allowed to see his notes before the exam!"

"Where is Robin?"

"Impatient, aren't we?" Joker smiled, and the smile would have sent shivers down the spine of anyone else. "Dr. Harley, add that to the list, won't you?"

"Please, Doctor J," came another familiar voice from inside the attic, "It's Dr. Quinn. We're on the job, ya know."

Batman had had enough. He shoved Joker to the side and walked into the attic, looking around quickly to take in as much of the new environment as he could.

Robin sat on the floor in a corner, tied up and gagged. Batman quickly went over to him as Joker and Harley stood laughing at their own little jokes.

"Doctor, he's here! We've got Bats in the belfry! HAHAHAHA, in more ways than one!" Joker yelled, and Harley fell on top of him to steady herself.

Batman pulled off Robin's gag in one movement, wasting no time with his back to the Joker.

"I'm okay, and I'll be untied in just a minute," Robin said immediately. Batman was close enough now to see Robin's fingers working quickly to loosen his bonds.

"Good. What is he doing?"

"I don't know. But it's nothing good."

"You've been here?"
"Less than an hour." Both Batman and Robin knew that there was little time to waste on unnecessary words.

Batman reached behind him suddenly and grabbed an arm; Harley had been attempting to sneak up behind him. In one fluid motion, he pushed her away and turned around.

"I've never seen such a vi-o-lent patient, Dr. J!" Harley called as she flipped around the room. "I'm gonna need some help takin' away all those dangerous toys!"

"Of course, Dr. Harley. We wouldn't want our patient to get hurt!" the Joker laughed again, and clapped his hands. He then stepped aside, and Harley stepped forward, armed now with a long, thin, large gun. She shot it several times, and Batman covered himself with his cape to fend off the bullets.

Except there were no bullets. A dart pierced right through the cloth of the cape, and through Batman's Kevlar-reinforced suit as well. More followed. Batman barely had time to register the small green flights, and the grinning face painted onto each dart, before he began to lose consciousness. The last thing he heard was that horribly familiar laughter.

0-0-0-0-0

Batman awoke strapped tightly to a leather couch (price tag still on), and missing his utility belt. Turning his head, he could just barely see it hanging alongside Robin's cape on the flagpole out the window.

"Ah, you're awake!" Batman could only look up at the white, grinning face above him. "Whadda ya think, too much, or not enough?" he asked, holding up one of the darts. "I had them specially made, you know. Just for you, Batty."

"I'm flattered."

"You should be! You've no idea of all the trouble I went through to set this all up. It took five minions to lift that couch!"

"I'm sure you're just dying to tell me what all that trouble was for."

"But of course! You see Batsy, you and I know each other well." The Joker straightened up from bending over Batman, and started to pace alongside the couch. "I can't even begin to count the number of times you've given me over to the good doctors over at Arkham. No wait," he stopped pacing, and counted on his fingers for a moment, "It was twelve hundred and ninety-four. The least I could do is return the favor once."

"Will you get to the point?"

"That IS my point. We're having an intervention, Batman! And you're going to get all the help you need." The Joker chuckled as he stepped back into Batman's line of sight.

"You're insane, Joker."

"I'M insane?" the Joker asked, grinning widely. "Well, we'll leave that up for the dear Doctor to decide." He stepped aside, and Harley came forward, wearing thin glasses over her mask, and a lab coat that dragged on the ground behind her.

"Evenin' Mr. Batman," She said, making a small note on the clipboard she held in one hand. "Let's get right to work, M'kay? We've got a looong way to go..."