Hello again! Week 4 now! Enjoy! Also, I would like to mention that there is another warped mind behind the scenes, giving me ideas and checking my spelling; the warped mind of...my little brother!
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
Big Brother
Week 4, Day 1
It is a sad day as Peppita is forced to leave the house. She is bawling like a baby, but we insist that she leave with her family of circus freaks who have come to pick her up. As she is being dragged out the door, trying frantically to cling to its frame with her fingernails, we see a possum walking up the sidewalk and to the door.
The possum arrives and looks up at everyone inside. She sniffs around and turns her head to face Albel, who's boots she proceeds to sniff. "What do you want?" he asks, irritated. She looks up and squeaks a long reply which makes Albel turn pale.
"What did she say?" Sophia asks.
"ALF!" Albel yells up toward the ceiling, "YOU'D BETTER GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Alf comes scurrying down the stairs and to the door to find himself face to face with the other possum. The two start squeaking and hissing at each other, obviously arguing.
"What are they saying?" Sophia asks again.
Translation via Albel:
Alf: "But Fifi! I'm having so much fun here! I get to hunt that annoying racoon kid all I want! I'm not ready to go home yet!"
Fifi: "I don't care if you're ready or not! You're coming home right this instant you deadbeat! Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to take care of ten children by yourself!" She stands up on her hind legs to show the ten tiny heads peeking out of her pouch.
Alf: "But I..."
Fifi: "No buts, Mr.; you're coming home now!" With that, she reaches into her pouch and pulls out a rolling pin, which she promptly beats Alf over the head with. She drags the unconscious possum away by the tail.
"Alphonso!" Albel yells toward the possums shrinking on the horizon, "Who's going to plot ultimate evil with me now!" He looks to be on the verge of tears. Roger, seeing this, as well as the departure of one of his attackers, is laughing hysterically. Albel, enraged, draws his sword and slices the little Menodix's head cleanly off before running back up to his room. The paramedics rush Roger away.
In his room, Albel is looking at photos of his and Alf's more brilliant schemes, reminiscing of all the good times they had trying to kill Roger. He spends the rest of the morning quietly sobbing in his room.
It's time for Fayt's weekly restocking and he runs around the house, placing little plastic baggies in the most inconspicuous places he can find. Maria is out shooting in the backyard again and a bullet happens to ricochet off her target, hitting just about everything in the yard pinball style before flying into a window of a second story room; a loud, girlish scream is heard (obviously Roger). Sophia is smashing the scale in her room to smithereens with a sledgehammer, screaming psychotically about her rapid weight gain. Cliff is drinking straight from a keg in his room. Nel is brushing her persian, Mr. Flufflesworth, while watching the goings on of the house through her monitors. Roger is celebrating the departure of the possum in his room and manages to slice his arm off with a broken plastic bottle. More stitches!
Once finished with his restocking, Fayt makes his way to the kitchen. He starts pulling out utensils, dishes, and ingredients and placing them on the counter. He pours the ingredients into a large bowl and starts mixing them well. He looks up and glances around carefully, making sure that no one is watching and takes a small plastic baggie out of his pocket. He unzips the bag and upends it into the dark batter, stirring it in quickly. He pours the brownie mix into a pan and puts it in the oven. While baking the brownies, Fayt decides to bake himself as well, pulling a joint out of his pocket and lighting up.
Once the brownies are done, he takes them out of the oven, cuts them, tries to pick one up to eat (being stoned enough to forget that it's hot), and has his fingers badly burned. Cursing profusely, he jerks his hand back and jams his fingers in his mouth. He starts eyeing up the brownies again and reaches for one a second time with the same result. After repeating the process several times, he finally gives up, puts the pan on the windowsill to cool, and wanders off to find some booze.
Roger just happens to be passing through the kitchen a little while later and smells something good. He looks up to the windowsill and sees the pan, guessing that there is some kind of wonderful treat in it. Unfortunately, he is far too scrawny to reach the pan towering above him and has to stack a pile of chairs, pots, etc. to climb on. He makes it safely up to the top of his tower and grabs the pan of brownies. As he starts to climb down, a chair leg breaks off and the whole thing comes tumbling down. He somehow ends up at the bottom of the pile and has to claw his way out from under the many heavy objects. He suddenly remembers the brownies and looks frantically down to the pan in his hand to check them. His brownies are perfectly unharmed and he is so happy that he isn't even bothered by his concussion and broken ribs.
Roger goes skipping out of the kitchen, but slips in a puddle of water and goes sliding across the floor. The brownies go flying and somehow land perfectly on the counter, totally undamaged. Roger however, slides right into the paper shredder, which has fallen over, and is shredded to little bloody ribbons. His paramedics rush to the paper shredder and remove the basket, carrying it away to reassemble the little Menodix.
Maria walks into the kitchen to get a drink and is passed by the paramedics rushing out with the basket full of bloody Roger ribbons. She rolls her eyes and continues into the kitchen. She stops as she passes the counter, eyeing up the brownies sitting there. She picks one up and eats it, then goes on about her business.
As Maria walks out one door, Cliff swaggers into the kitchen through another door to get some more beer out of the refrigerator and spots the brownies. He eats one, grabs some beer and wanders back to his room.
Just as Cliff leaves the room, the grating on the ceiling vent is pulled away and Nel drops to the floor ninja-style. She has come to get more cat food for Mr. Flufflesworth. As she passes the counter, she spies the brownies and, looking around cautiously, grabs one and stuffs it into her pocket. She grabs a few cans of cat food and jumps back up into the ceiling vent and closes it, returning to her lair where her fluffy persian waits for his lunch.
Just as the grating is pulled back over the vent, Sophia ambles into the kitchen looking for a low-fat snack. She smells the brownies, however, and is drawn to the counter where the last three large, moist, dark chocolate brownies sit, still slightly warm, in the pan. She starts to salivate and licks her lips in anticipation. She glances around nervously, afraid that someone might catch her not sticking to her diet, before snatching the biggest one up and cramming it into her mouth. After making some disturbing sounds of ecstasy while chewing, Sophia remembers how upset Albel was after losing his best friend and decides that chocolate is the best medicine. She grabs another brownie and runs upstairs with it.
She opens the door to Albel's room and is assailed by about a thousand used tissues that had been carelessly thrown in a pile against the closed door. She squeals about it for a while before noticing Albel sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by tissue boxes and pictures of his and Alphonso's crazy escapades, bawling his eyes out. She holds the brownie out to him, "This might help a little". He turns and looks up, his eyes red and puffy from crying so much and takes the brownie from her hand. He eats it, chewing slowly while sobbing, and Sophia decides that it might be better just to leave him alone for a little while. She leaves quietly, closing the door behind her.
After being skillfully pieced back together by his exceptionally talented paramedics, Roger runs back to the kitchen, praying that the brownies are still there. He finds that only one brownie remains and throws a hissy-fit. Still angry, he grabs the last brownie and shoves it into his mouth, chewing greedily. Unfortunately, a shard of glass had mysteriously found its way into that particular brownie and Roger must once again be rushed off screen by his paramedics.
Fayt walks back into the kitchen just in time to watch Roger being carried out on a stretcher by his paramedics. He looks to the windowsill and sees that the pan is gone, but quickly notices it on the counter and walks over to it. He finds it empty and kicks the counter, swearing again. "Who took my brownies!" he screams, running into the living room, carrying the empty pan and waving it around over his head threateningly. Once in the living room, he notices some odd behavior.
Maria is shooting haphazardly at figurines on the shelves, blowing them to bits and laughing stupidly. Nel has brought Mr. Flufflesworth and his food dish up to the first floor and she and the cat are eating 'Fancy Feast' out of it. Sophia is chewing on the footrest, claiming that it is a chocolate and that the polyester stuffing is marshmallow cream. Roger is running around the room with a towel tied around his neck like a cape, pretending to be a super-hero; he jumps off an arm of the couch and his cape billows up, catching in the fan, which slings him around in circles a few times before he slides off and crashes into yet another glass cabinet and is carried away by his paramedics. Albel is running around like a madman, screaming and leaping over furniture and knocking things down, crashing into walls and then slamming into the sliding glass door and passing out; he thought he was running from wild dragons. Fayt doesn't spot Cliff however, but hears some disturbing sounds coming from behind the couch; he peers around the back of the couch to find Cliff making passionate love to a couch cushion. Fayt backs up slowly, trying hard to hang onto his breakfast, and then looks around the room at all his stoned friends. A goofy grin slowly spreads itself across his face. "Sweet!" he yells, "They're all fried!" He joins them in their stupid, drug-induced antics for the rest of the day.
Day 2
After breakfast, everyone wanders off around the house. Roger happens to be walking through the kitchen when the doorbell wrings. He opens the door to find a delivery man on the other side.
"I've got a delivery for a..." the delivery guy looks down at his clipboard, "Albel Nox."
"I'll get him," Roger says, trudging into the living room. He had so hoped it was fan mail for him. "Albel," he says when he spots the Glyphian watching a gruesome movie on the couch, "there's a delivery guy looking for you." Albel leaps up and practically flies over the couch on his way to the door. Roger rolls his eyes and plops down in front of the tv, changing the channel to "Barney" and watching attentively.
Albel walks back into the room a moment later with a truly evil grin on his face. Perched on his gauntlet is a trained hunting falcon. "Now, my pretty," he whispers, stroking the feathers on its head, "hunt the racoon fool." With an upward swing of his gauntlet, the psycho sends his new pet into the air. Shrieking shrilly, the falcon dives at Roger, who turns his head just in time to catch a beak in the eye. He gets up and runs screaming, trying desperately to escape the falcon, which chases him around the house.
While Roger is busy with the falcon, Albel goes back into the kitchen and picks up a small crate on the floor. He carries it into the bathroom most commonly used by Roger and closes and locks the door. He pries the crate open and reaches in carefully with his gauntlet. He lifts a small sea-serpent from the crate and drops it into the toilet, watching as it swims down the pipe, hiding in preparation for attack.
He runs back down to the kitchen and grabs yet another crate, which he carries into Roger's room. He drops it on the floor near Roger's bed and opens the front of it. Out slithers a huge anaconda, which promptly hides under the bed. Albel laughs maniacally as he runs back downstairs to see what havoc his new pet is wreaking on the 'rodent fool'.
The falcon is screeching and clawing at the bread bin on the counter, which is shaking wildly. Albel laughs and smashes it with his gauntlet, popping Roger out of it for the falcon to chase again. Roger runs outside, slamming the door behind him to keep the falcon from following him. He hears laughter and looks up to see Albel standing over him.
"So I see you've managed to outrun my new friend," Albel says, sneering down at the little Menodix, "but good luck getting away from these two." He whistles, then calls, "Shelby, Vox, come!" Two coon hounds come loping around the corner of the house to stand on either side of their psychotic master, growling at Roger.
"Why did you name your dogs after Shelby and Vox?" Roger asks, trying to stall, "I thought you hated those guys."
"Of coarse I did," he answers, "I just thought it would be funny to name female dogs after them. Get it? They're bitches!" He laughs hysterically, "And naming dumb, slobbering beasts after them is funnier still; if you ask me, the names fit perfectly." (Somewhere in hell, the dogs' namesakes are REALLY pissed off.) "Now, my hounds," he says, pointing at Roger, "HUNT!"
The dogs spring forward, barking wildly at Roger, who runs frantically up the tree. The dogs try jumping up the trunk but aren't able to reach and instead, circle it, knowing that their prey can't stay up there forever. Albel laughs maniacally as he opens the door to let his falcon out to pursue Roger. The falcon flies at the treed racoon kid, pecking and clawing at him, screeching psychotically. Albel returns to the house, chuckling to himslef as he listens to the screams of pain coming from the tree.
He goes back to the couch and plops down. He sits puzzled for a moment, a bit disturbed by the large purple dinosaur singing and dancing on the tv. He changes the channel to the bloodiest movie he can find. He glances out the window to see Roger pursued by the hounds and the falcon and laughs quietly to himself.
Roger spends the rest of the morning running from Albel's new pets and finally manages to run into the house and slam the door behind him, leaving them outside. He runs to the bathroom, as he hasn't gotten to go all morning. He soon runs back out screaming however, missing a huge chunk of his ass. His paramedics rush him off to repair his butt.
He is taken to his room to lie down. Once in bed, he hears a hissing noise coming from beneathit and leans over the side to look. Two beady golden glowing eyes stare back at him and suddenly, the huge anaconda launches at his head, grabbing him and pulling him under. The bed is bouncing around wildly as underneath it, Roger struggles desperately, but in vain, to escape the coils of the giant snake. He is strangled and swallowed whole. His paramedics rush in and move the bed to find the anaconda with a Roger-size lump in its stomach. They cut the snake open and remove the half-digested Menodix for surgery.
Cliff stumbles drunkenly into the living room, spouting incoherent gibberish. Albel jumps up from the couch yelling, "WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER, YOU MAGGOT!" Apparently, Cliff's drunken gibberish meant something very nasty in Elicoorian.
Fayt saunters into the room and notices Albel holding onto the collar of Cliff's shirt with his hand and making a fist with his gauntlet, preparing to strike the drunkard. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" the crazed general is yelling in Cliff's face, "MY MOTHER WAS NOT A TAVERN WENCH!"
"Calm dooooooown, Al 'ol pal," Fayt says, obviously stoned, "all this yelling is harshing my buzz, maaaan."
"SILENCE, FOOL!" Albel screams at him, not letting go of Cliff, "UNLESS YOU WANT TO SHARE IN THIS WORM'S FATE!"
"Just quiet down," Fayt continues, ignoring him: a VERY poor choice.
Still hanging onto Cliff's collar, Albel rushes at Fayt and the three end up in a huge fist fight, demolishing the living room. Somehow, Roger stumbles into the middle of it and catches a nasty blow from Albel's gauntlet that sends him back to the ER.
Worried that the three brawling morons will tear down the house, we fire tranquilizer darts randomly into the fray. Once they are tranquilized, the three are carried off to their rooms to sleep off the effects of the tranquilizers and cool down a bit.
We now turn our cameras to Nel, who is busy brushing her precious cat. Suddenly, she starts coughing and gagging violently. Mr. Flufflesworth, spooked by the racket, runs off into the shadows as Nel continues to gag. She finally coughs something out into her hand. It's a hairball. Must be from yesterday's pot incident when she thought she was a cat.
The rest of the day goes pretty routinely, with nothing too out of the ordinary, except... In his room, Roger is making a phone call. He has planned a 'creature attack' of his own in retaliation for Albel's attacks today. This should be interesting.
Day 3
Everyone shovels down breakfast in the morning and then rushes off about their routines. Roger paces about impatiently, waiting for his surprise to arrive. Maria is switching the salt with sugar and injecting fruit with protein formula. Cliff and Fayt are having a drinking contest in the kitchen and spilling booze all over the place. Sophia is testing some new diet pills and chugging "Slim-Fast" in her room, trying desperately to lose weight. Albel is sicking his new pets on Roger, rewarding them with treats when they come back with a piece of the little brat in their mouths. Nel is dressing Mr. Flufflesworth, even putting a bonnet on him; he does not look amused.
About midday, Albel is watching yet another gory movie in the livingroom. He has adjusted well to this more sedentary lifestyle, laying on the couch, watching tv, and tossing potato chips absentmindedly into his mouth like any other couch potato. He hears the doorbell wring and, with no one else around to answer it (or so he thinks), he gets up and opens the door. What he sees terrifies him: it's that bizarre purple dinosaur from the tv. "What...the...hell..." Albel asks slowly, his eyes starting to twitch.
"Hey there, I'm Barney!" the obnoxious purple dinosaur says, "Are you Albel?"
"And..." he starts, still somewhat in shock, "what if...I am?"
"I got a call from a friend of yours who says you need a hug!" With that, Barney throws his arms around the unsuspecting general and squeezes him in an unbreakable bear-hug.
"AAAAHHHHH," Albel screams, trying desperately to break the beast's grip, "GET THIS THING OFF OF MEEEEEEEE!" Albel, realizing that the thing's death-grip on him is too strong to break, tries to jab it with his talons, but to no avail. He continues to scream, attracting the attention of the other residents of the house, who simply laugh and blind him with a thousand camera flashes. He notices Roger and realizes that he is the cause of this humiliation. Enraged, Albel tries to run, dragging the dinosaur along, to attack the little Menodix, but the purple freak lifts him off the ground and his feet flail about in vain.
Albel spends the rest of the day trying to extricate himself from the clutches of the vile singing, dancing dinosaur, and only manages to do so with the help of his hounds and falcon, who attack the beast restraining their master and drive him over a cliff and into the sea, where he is devoured by a 40-foot great white shark in a gruesome, yet spectacular display of blood and gore. Albel, realizing that this was a trap by Roger, shall be plotting an equally gory revenge.
Day 4
It's a rather routine day, with the only events of interest being Albel's attacks on Roger. Accompanied by his beasts, the mad (in more ways than one) Glyphian proceeds to rampage about the house, terrorizing the little Menodix.
The day ends with Albel trying to stuff the little brat as a hunting trophy (which we are forced to take away and resuscitate), and rewarding his pets with steaks for a day's work well done.
Day 5
It's day five, and we all know what that means...challenge day! Sophia arrives in the kitchen just in time to receive the letter, which she promptly opens and reads. She calls everyone in and they sit down to hear what inane, totally ridiculous nonsense we expect of them this time.
"What do those fools want now?" Albel asks, irritated.
"Yeeeaaahh," Cliff drawls drunkenly, "whada dey want noooow?"
"Our next challenge," Sophia answers, "is art."
"What kind of art?" Nel asks, seeming a tad interested.
"Any kind," Sophia continues, "whatever art form and subject we want. And of coarse, the winner gets immunity. We just sign up for what materials we need and they'll provide them for us this afternoon." Everyone starts muttering amongst themselves, trying to decide what they want to make and what they'll need. They all start scribbling things down on paper and throwing them into the box provided for supply orders.
They spend the rest of the morning studying art books and trying to figure out how to make what they want. The supplies arrive after lunch and are brought to the seven work areas we've provided for the contestants. Everyone takes their places and begins to work.
At his work station, Fayt is working with blown glass. He seems to be hard at work, trying to get just the right shape, blowing the glass between puffs of weed, and managing to burn himself quite badly several times.
Cliff is making a sculpture with, you guessed it, beer cans (which he provided himself). His work seems to be going well, until he realizes that one of the cans at the bottom of his sculpture still has a little beer left in the bottom and he pulls the whole thing apart to get less than a mouthful of booze.
Albel is oil painting at his work station. We won't look around to see what he's painting, but from the angle we're at, we can see him making huge, bold strokes and using a WHOLE lot of red paint. Oh dear.
Next, we check in on Nel, who is doing a water color painting. We won't look at hers yet either, but she seems very focused on her work, brushing carefully here and there.
Sophia is sewing a new loose-fitting dress, one she hopes will hide her ever expanding girth. She is REALLY starting to get desperate, as the mystery pounds keep packing up and she is beginning to spill out of her clothes.
Maria is sculpting something in stone, working hard. She keeps peering around the huge stone block at Sophia and then chipping away more rock. Could she be sculpting Sophia?
Roger is doing paper art, carefully cutting brightly colored construction paper into abstract shapes to adhere to a posterboard to make a picture. He is using plastic, child-safe scissors to prevent injury, but manages to slice his fingers to ribbons with the paper. Looking around, he notices some thimbles at Sophia's workplace and asks if he can have some. He places a thimble on each finger and continues to work.
Albel looks up over his easel at Roger, who is working diligently on his picture. A wicked smile spreads itself slowly across the madman's face. "Hey, rodent fool!" he yells at the little Menodix. Roger turns to reply but, not watching what he's doing, manages to cut his fingers off with the plastic scissors before he can get out a single word. Albel laughs as Roger is carried away by his paramedics again and resumes his painting, tossing aside yet another empty tube of red paint.
A few hours later, the impromptu artists are finishing up their pieces, or in Roger's case, trying to un-adhere themselves from them. It seems that while Roger was having his fingers sewn back into place, Albel covered the Menodix's picture with super glue and when Roger returned, Albel applied his boot to the brat's backside, kicking him onto the posterboard, where he has remained ever since.
Cliff has made a beer can sculpture of himself...drinking a beer; it looks like crap. Fayt has made a, you guessed it, bong, and is trying it out, showing that it is fully functional. Nel has painted a very regal picture of Mr. Flufflesworth on a red silk pillow in front of a window, from which the sunlight streams in, shining off the persian's silky white coat. Sophia's dress turned out well; it actually fits her! Albel's painting is of himself mutilating Roger, shredding the little Menodix with his katana and talons in a spectacular display of bloody, gory violence; we can see how he used up seven tubes of red paint. Roger's piece is disqualified, as he is stuck to it. Maria's sculpture is of a VERY fat Sophia and on the base, she has engraved, "Till the End of Key Lime"; obviously poking fun at Sophia's love of pie and failure of diet.
Looking around, Sophia notices the sculpture and turns bright red with fury. Screaming her rage, she charges like a mad cow at the sculpture, knocking it over in Maria's direction. Albel notices and quickly gives Roger yet another sharp kick, knocking him squarely in the path of the falling sculpture. Maria is unharmed, only pinned under the sculpture because Roger caught it with his tiny cranium, taking the brunt of the attack himself and getting a concussion. "It wont be long," Maria calls from under the statue, "before you're big enough to flatten someone yourself, you fat hippo!" Screaming again, Sophia spends the rest of the afternoon chasing Maria, who just barely managed to escape, around the house, trying to kill her with her own sculpting tools.
This time, immunity goes to Fayt, who's 'functional art' we find very intriguing. Maybe we shouldn't encourage his drug problem, but it sure has done wonders for our ratings!
Day 6
Everyone scarfs down breakfast at impossible speeds in an effort to get to their usual routines faster. Sophia seems even more determined to stick to her diet after yesterday's insult, but can't quite resist the donuts on the table, chowing down on the whole dozen and growling like an enraged animal at anyone who tries to grab one; Cliff ends up getting his hand bitten of coarse, being too plastered to realize the dangers of trying to take food from Sophia. There is only one pancake left, and both Albel and Roger are eyeing it up; the two launch forward, forks raised and once the dust and blood settles, we see that Albel got the pancake by sticking his fork in Roger's hand, pinning it to the table. Fayt is experimenting with sugar, snorting it through a straw, he quickly stops though, looking a bit sick. Nel wraps up some food from her plate and runs over beneath the vent in the ceiling, jumping up into it and traveling back down to her lair to give the leftovers to Mr. Flufflesworth. Maria, in an unusual display of childishness, is using her spoon as a catapult to fling scrambled eggs at Sophia, who, instead of being angry at the assault, is catching them in her mouth and eating them.
After breakfast, everyone wanders about the house, acting like their usual selves. Roger is still running from the falcon and hounds, who are still after his blood (as per their master's orders). Just as he is starting to relax on the couch, the falcon swoops down, screeching in fury and raking the little Menodix's face with its talons. Roger runs out the door and across the lawn, the falcon in hot pursuit. Albel just happens to see them zip past and runs out after them to watch the eminent gore-fest.
An eighteen wheeler is coming down the road, but Roger thinks he can make it and darts out across the street, narrowly missing the truck's grill...which is more than we can say for the poor falcon. The bird is caught mid-flap on the massive grill of the passing truck, impacting with a sickening splat.
"Noooooooooooo!" yells Albel, who runs after the truck, "He was to young and vicious to die!" He continues to run and disappears down the street, to the relief of Roger.
The little brat turns to walk into the house, but comes face to face with the snarling coonhounds. He starts to back up slowly, but the dogs launch forward and he turns to run. Roger runs faster than he has ever run before down the street in the direction opposite of that Albel took. He runs for quite some time and is just about to collapse from exhaustion when he sees a dog catcher's truck coming his way. Excited, he runs forward with new-found enthusiasm, waving his arms about and shouting to the oncoming truck. Unfortunately for him, the truck's brakes are old and don't work so well. As the truck screeches to a halt, Roger is hit and sent flying toward a dumpster. He slams into the lid and falls into the dumpster, onto an old pizza box; the dumpster's lid slams shut over him. He shakes his head, trying to orient himself, and finds that he is surrounded by twelve pairs of glowing yellow eyes.
In possum:
Alf: "It's the raccoon kid!"
Fifi: "And interrupting our dinner too!"
Their ten children: "Let's eat him!"
And with that, Alphonso's family attacks Roger, shredding the little Menodix with twelve sets of fangs and claws. If only Albel could see this.
Unfortunately, the dog catcher picked up the Glyphian wacko's dogs, as he had neglected to follow the city's leash laws, and took them to the pound. He's going to be VERY upset when he gets home and finds his prized coonhounds missing. We'll station a few extra security guards, just to be on the safe side.
Later in the evening, Albel returns, having not been able to catch up to the truck. He is again depressed, and even more so when his hounds don't come running to him. He spends the rest of the evening sulking in his room.
Around dusk, Roger (or what's left of him anyway) finally manages to crawl back home. He is rushed away by his paramedics as the others watch. We have no idea how they're going to fix him this time...or how he survived for that matter.
Day 7
It's the somebody's last day in the house and everyone is one their best behavior, so as not to be voted out. After eating breakfast slowly, even using proper manners, the residents of the house amble about, looking for things to keep them out of trouble...but who do they think they're kidding?
As Roger sits on the couch, watching "Barney" reruns (reruns because Barney was eaten by the shark), Albel glares menacingly at him from behind, slowly dialing a number on his new cell phone. He can be heard muttering something into the phone, but we can't quite make it out. He hangs up and flips the phone closed, chuckling fiendishly as he puts it back in his pocket and walks out of the room. Roger, totally oblivious, continues to watch tv innocently. Unfortunately, as the Menodix is watching the television, a mouse is chewing on the electrical cable behind it. The mouse finally chews through and the cable sparks, causing an explosion that propels the tv forward onto Roger, who is crushed beneath it on the couch. The mouse escapes unharmed and runs past as Roger's personal paramedics rush to his aid.
About midday, Maria is busy in the kitchen, contaminating food with anything and everything fattening she can lay her hands on, when the doorbell wrings. She opens the door and finds a large wooden crate on the front lawn. Her curiosity gets the better of her, and she opens it to find a large hippo. She looks questioningly at the hippo, "Sophia?". Just then, Sophia is walking by and sees Maria talking to the hippo like it's her.
"Maria!" Sophia screams, infuriated.
Maria whirls to see Sophia standing in the doorway. She looks back and forth between Sophia and the hippo, seeming somewhat confused. "Wait," she starts slowly, "if you're there," she points at Sophia, "then who is this?" she asks, pointing at the hippo.
"YOU DIE, BITCH!" Sophia screams, charging at Maria. The two get into a massive brawl on the front lawn and Cliff, who happens to be passing through the kitchen, runs outside to see what all the commotion is. "Woohoo!" he yells upon finding the source of the ruckus, "chick fight!". The two combatants leap at him and start beating him up along with each other. Roger also wanders outside to find out what's making all the racket and is, like the half-witted Klausian, dragged into the brawl, sustaining massive injuries including, but not limited to, broken ribs, crushed tail, head trauma, a punctured lung, and substantial internal bleeding.
Albel hears the commotion and rushes outside to join in the fighting. He sees the hippo as he runs out the door and gets excited, "It's already here! Perfect!". It turns out that his phone call earlier was to order this trained hippo. "Roll over, Jumbo!" he yells, pointing to where Roger lies, bruised and bleeding in the grass. The hippo drops and rolls over the little Menodix, leaving a greasy, bloody spot in its wake. Albel takes a quick picture of Roger with his camera phone, and then rolls around on the lawn, laughing hysterically as Roger's paramedics struggle to retrieve the little Menodix. Unfortunately for Albel, the fight draws ever closer to him as he is laughing, and he ends up dragged into it as well.
While they are busy, the hippo wanders down the street in search of water to wallow in and is picked up by animal control after walking through several fences, scaring the neighborhood dogs, and tearing up a lot of yards.
Later in the day, those involved in the fight have their wounds treated and wander about the house to find comfortable places to rest. Albel, who escaped with only bruises, the most noticeable being a black eye, makes his way to the kitchen for a drink, where he runs into Nel, who is picking up more cat food. She looks at him for a moment, staring at his black eye, which really pisses him off.
"What do you want, fool?" he asks between clenched teeth.
"Nothing," she replies, "I was just wondering who had the audacity to give Albel the Wicked a black eye."
"SILENCE, WORM!" he yells, rushing forward to attack. Nel is faster however, and jumps up into the vent in the ceiling, escaping to the safety of the basement. Albel can't slow down in time and plows into the wall, thrusting his gauntlet through the drywall, on the other side of which sits Roger. Roger is impaled on the talons and must be removed for surgery. We think we'll let Albel try to get himself unstuck, as it should be funnier that way. He is trying to yank his gauntlet out, while pounding and kicking the wall furiously and yelling Elicoorian curses about the "red-haired witch".
Cliff is drinking heavily, trying to forget about the pain. Sophia and Maria are glaring evilly at each other from across the room. Fayt is baking himself in his room, trying to break his record for number of joints smoked in an hour. Roger is hiding in a large vase in the hallway, thinking that maybe if he can stay out of sight, he won't get hurt. Albel, who has finally managed to free himslef from the wall, while carrying a large chunk of it with him, stuck to his gauntlet, is stomping down the hall furiously; as he passes the vase, he smacks it with his gauntlet, shattering it over the hapless Roger and pummeling him with both gauntlet and drywall. It cheers him somewhat to see Roger's pain.
The rest of the evening goes by quickly, with most of the residents of the house resting after their big fight. Roger has built a fort of pillows and his mattress around himself in his room, thinking that that will protect him. The mouse from earlier today is up in the attic, chewing yet another random cable and, you guessed it, it's the cable to the fan in Roger's room. The mouse chews through his second cable and Roger's ceiling fan comes crashing down on top of him, also squishing the springs out of the mattress, which impale the poor little Menodix. More surgery!
RESULTS: Nel has been voted out!
Ok, original character #2: Mr. Flufflesworth! Like Alf, he was only meant to make a one time appearance, but then I decided he needed a larger role.
