Rhiannon: So... yeah... life did this thing called 'move faster then the speed of light' and I ending up having way too many dental appointments to be told I need surgery and then spent a week in East Nowhere Kentucky with no internet connection... Oh... there was wireless... my laptop just didn't want to pick it up. Arg... without futher ado... The next in the series.
PS. Could I Be You is by Matchbox Twenty
Could I be You
Something is wrong
With the sum of us
That I can't seem to erase
How can I be
The only one
Without a smile on my face
When now
In the back of his mind he knows that it's not okay that he's shaking but he knows that only House will catch it, if he cares to pay attention. Cameron and Foreman are smiling at the daily 'Cuddy looking for House to sentence him to clinic duty' and normally he would be smiling but he just can't. He feels like he's some kind of twisted dream where everyone can smile because… because they aren't him.
You're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight
Cameron has noticed for a while now that Chase isn't the same as the night that they stormed his house and bandaged his forearms. She tries to ignore the dead look she saw in Chase's eyes that night. Now though… he's laughing with the best of them. She hid her frown by getting up for coffee because she can't help but think that maybe… that maybe he's laughing at life, laughing at living because honestly… what Chase was doing was not living.
You show your pain
Like it really hurts
And I can't even
Start to feel mine
And I'm standing in place
With my head first
And I shake I shake I shake
And I see your progress
Stretched out for miles
And miles
House, Chase decides, is an enigma. He's constantly in pain and Chase understands that. He even respects House's drive to work despite the pain. It's just… he can't understand how House can so blatantly show it when Chase can barely feel anything at all. He's standing before House listening to him talk about a diagnosis but he's not focused on anything but the fact that he's shaking again and everyone else is shouting out ideas and summarizing the symptoms. He's miles behind them, he always seems to be miles behind them.
And you're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight
House turns from the black board to see his fellows but his eyes catch Chase. He had cracked a joke about abstinence and Virgin Marys. They're all laughing at his joke but Chase is laughing the hardest. It's a harsh, fake laugh just this side of hysterical. And House can't resist a shiver wondering if it's something else that Chase is laughing at. It's almost like he's laughing at being alive.
This is the sound that I make
These are the words I chose
But somehow the right thing to say
Just won't come out
Chase almost isn't sure of why he's screaming at Foreman. He knows that it has something to do with the patient's treatment. Oh wait… now he remembers. House actually trusted Chase's diagnosis and Foreman is trying to undermine him for his own diagnosis. He sucked in a deep breath and picked out careful words but nothing was good enough for Foreman. Later he would snort into his drink when all Foreman had done was confirm that he was right.
Cuz you're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight
Foreman and Chase are laughing at the absolutely stupidity of their patient as they sit over drinks with Cameron. They all collectively know they shouldn't mock their patients but there is something almost disturbingly amusing about an upset mother trying to O.D. on children's chewable vitamins. He orders another round of drinks and shivers as Chase lets out a few last chuckles, wiping a few small tears form his eyes. For a moment there he was sure that Chase was laughing at something else… Almost like he was laughing at the thought of being alive.
I was wondering
Could I just be you
Tonight
Chase paused on his way leaving the diagnostics office. It was late, late enough that he should have been the only one there locking up. He had been there for a day and half sleeping on a cot between rooms resuscitating patients and running codes. He was bone weary but as he looked up for the muted sounds of music he saw House with the whiteboard in his office looking over the symptoms and he wondered for just a second what it would be like to be Dr. Gregory House. To be genius and insanity and painful and vulnerable all at the same time with a devil may care casing.
Rhiannon: Hopefully by the time I post the next part I'll have a new laptop that loves me more. Ja ne!
