Rhiannon: Okay... um... apparently there was some confusion within the story but uh... Chase never commited or attempted suicide... He's a cutter and while that is very, very serious it's not quite the same thing. Also... in the other, he had an allergic reaction to his meds... and got injured durning the reaction...

Anyways... on with the story!


Rain

I don't feel a thing
and I stopped remembering
The days are just like moments turned to hours

Often times, Chase feels as if his memories are slipping away. Maybe one morning he'll wake up and forget Kayla and how he'd let her die. Maybe one day he'll forget Rowan Chase and his mother as well. He knows he wants but as he watches the clock that seemed to slow, almost as if time were slowing. Seconds became minutes and minutes, hours so on and so forth. He cringes as it sounds midnight and he wonders if maybe he really can just flip a switch and forget it all.

Mother Used to say
if you want, you'll find a way
Bet mother never danced through fire shower

At the point in which all things were said and done, Robert Chase is still at Princeton-Plainsboro working with Drs Cameron and Foreman and being annoyed by Dr. House. He still ducks his head like he thinks he's going to get yelled at. He still just kind of takes it when Cameron feels the need to be a bitch or Foreman feels the need to remind him that he is the alpha male.

Sometimes he feels offended when he thinks of his mother. Whatever she had to endure wasn't the same hell that he had to endure. She was just an alcoholic, victim of an untreatable disease. Chase was the one who had the problems, insurmountable. He was broken.

Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain
I walk in the rain, in the rain
Is it right or is it wrong
and is it here that I belong

God it hurts when you realize that you have to reach out. He's not sure why he just left his apartment. Jeans and sneakers and t-shirt aren't the best ammunition against the mild storm outside, but the lighting is still in the distance so he has time.

I don't hear a sound
Silent faces in the ground
The quiet screams, but I refuse to listen

His conscience is screaming at him over the little things that he as the habit of ignoring. Take care of yourself. Have you eaten today? He's sure that when he looks around the ICU or the ER he sees the faces of people he's lost, people that to him, he probably let die. He thinks they're screaming because when he accidentally looks at their faces their mouths aren't open. But he doesn't listen, if he allows himself to hear everyone will know he's broken.

If there is a hell
I'm sure this is how it smells
Wish this were a dream, but no, it isn't

Working in the ER is almost like working in Hell's waiting room. Every time you enter you get a whiff of what your own person hell might feel like. Chase knows that his is having constant patients that he can't save. He'll rush and rush and work until his fingers bleed and his spine curves but he'll save no one. Maybe the ER isn't Hell's waiting room. But it sure smells like it.

Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain
I walk in the rain, in the rain
Am I right or am I wrong
and is it here that I belong

The storm is getting worse and he's not exactly sure of where he's going but he keeps going. He's too far from the apartment to just turn around and walk back but he can't tell if he's close to his destination or not. He sees Princeton-Plainsboro in the distance and realizes that that is where he's going and he's not sure if he should be. Cuddy will kill him if she seems him like this. Cameron will make a snide comment or pretend to care. Foreman will make a snide joke and ask House why he hasn't fired him. If they're on shift.

He takes the side entrance and pushes open the door walking through the hospital, he sees a stray clock and realizes that it's eight in the morning. Half the hospital is practically closed. No one will see him, no one will care… or they'll send him to the psyche ward. He gets to House's office and finds it unlocked. He knows he's getting the floor wet, he's a sopping mess but he doesn't feel right here. He steps out onto the balcony.

Walk in the rain, in the rain, in the rain
I walk in the rain, in the rain
Why do I feel so alone
For some reason I think of home

When House gets into the office, the storm is just starting to break but the rain is still falling just as harshly. He sees a figure standing out on the balcony in the rain and can tell by the blond hair that it's Chase. He limps forward and opens the door.

"It can't be comfortable out there." Cuddy will be mad if his fellow up and dies on the balcony because he's too stupid to get out of the rain. But as he looks at his clothes he realizes that this isn't the 'I came in this morning Chase.' This is something he hasn't dealt with before.

"I… I was just thinking of home." Chase whispered clinging to the rail with his eyes closed as the sun pierced the clouds and the rain finally started to let up.

No, House wasn't seeing any Chase he'd ever seen before. He was seeing the real Chase, broken Chase.

"Why don't you go home… Take the day off."

"Thank you Dr. House." He smiled at him. "But I think I'll just go get changed."