Rhiannion: So... um, as far as I know, this is the last chapter of this fic, but that is subject to change...

Oh... and before I forget... the song Downfall belongs to Matchbox Twenty... but then again you probably know that that I don't own it...


Downfall—Matchbox Twenty


Wonder how you sleep
I wonder what you think of me
If I could go back
Would you have ever been with me
I want you to be unused
I want you to remember
I want you to believe in me
I want you on my side

House watched Chase carefully as he lay curled up on the couch in his office fast asleep. Cameron was too kind hearted to wake him and Foreman had the day office. If he remembered correctly, Chase had a night stint in the ICU due to a bad accident or something like that. His skin was almost translucent it was so pale and House found himself wondering idly what Chase thought of him. Really thought of him, what thoughts had crossed his mind when he'd had to detox that one time with the bet with Wilson and Cuddy. Or maybe that one time when Chase had had the allergic reaction to his depression meds…

He sat at his desk to remove the risk of him doing something like touching the younger man and proceeded to continue studying him. He idly wondered if he would have felt like this before. Before Vogler, before Rowan Chase's visit, before the disastrous date with Cameron and attempting to be objective while treating Stacy's husband… would he have been this interested in Chase? Would they be together now?

He decided that no, because he would have expected things from Chase then that he never would have thought of now. He wouldn't have seen how absolutely used up Chase was. He would have expected Chase to be… he wasn't sure. Unused seemed to be the only word that described what he was thinking. It wasn't fair though, he wanted Chase to remember the ways things were. When the blond was less jaded, when he believed in House more then anyone else and above all else when Chase was utterly and completely on his side.

He's pretty sure that Chase is only trying to play both sides because he doesn't know which side he belongs to.


Come on and lay it down
I've always been with you
Here and now
Give all that's within you
Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall

"Chase I…" House can't find the words to say what he has wanted to say for weeks.

He wanted to tell Chase about the changes that had been happening within him. He wanted to point out to the younger man about how he'd been there for him all that time and hope that that conveyed all he wanted to say. And there were other words. He knew that in some ways… he and Chase could save each other. Chase from his need to be in pain and House from his addiction to pissing people off.

He just wasn't sure he could give what it would take to tell Chase all that.


Here we go again
Ashamed of being broken in
We're getting off track
I wanna get you back again
I want you to trouble me
I wanted you turning down
I want you to agree with me
I want so much so bad

It's remarkable how a case can just completely affect you on more levels then is warranted. It was of involving a gay couple and the younger of the two men had had the illness, House can't even remember what it was even though he'd only been discharged for two days but the two near deaths of the young man had affected Chase badly. He could tell by the marks under his eyes and the new scars he was trying to hide.

He could deal with the fact that Chase was a cutter. He could take that. But they were off the track they'd been on. The one where Chase was almost fine. He didn't want this to end the way it had before, with Chase looked in his apartment cutting up his arms and drinking gin to try to make himself feel human.

He just wished Chase would come to him. Talk to him about it. He could ask Chase to, but he knew he'd disagree; think House had finally lost it.

House thinks he has lost it.


Come on and lay it down
I've always been with you
Here and now
Give all that's within you
Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall

"Chase… I care." There, he'd said it in not so many words. But the look of dawning causes a strange light in Chase's eyes and he laughs a bit. No cruelly, Chase is the type to give away how he feels so easily.

"You always did like things that were broken." He muttered and stood to leave.

House realized idly, that nothing was ever easy with one Robert Chase. "This isn't because you're broken. It's despite it."

"Despite it? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He turned around and the strange light is still there and like the good scientist that he is, House wants to pull it from his eyes to poke and prod it until he understands exactly what it is.

"It means what it means. I know you better now… After all that we've been through." And that was true, didn't friends make better lovers and all that jazz?

"That's all fine and nice but you couldn't give me all that I want."

"And what is it that you want."

"I want someone who will give me everything… someone who will save me… even though I'll cause their downfall." He turned and walked away, leaving House to ponder those words.


Be my savior
(Only love can save us now)
(Don't lay me down)
(Only love can save us now)
I'll be your downfall (I'll be your downfall)
(Love can save us now)
(Don't save me now)

House wanted to smack himself it was so obvious. Of course Chase wanted someone to save him from himself. Not that he could technically do just that, but it made sense. He wanted to… try though. He had been prodding the barely there emotions that had been running hot and cold just under the surface of his 'I hate everything' motto and found that maybe… just maybe… he loved Chase.

Well, as all those great and dull romantics say, love can save almost anyone.

…or was it everyone? House was too much of a realist for most of that shit anyways.

He pushed open Chase's door, completely uninvited and saw him taking steady sips of a glass of gin and hopefully there was tonic. Hopefully it was the last dregs of a bottle he'd been drinking at all evening.

"What are you doing here?" He was too lucid to be piss drink. That was always a good thing.

"I wanted to talk to you about what I said with no interruptions." There was that strange light again, if only he could understand what the fuck it was.

"What do you really have to say?" He looked up at him and House couldn't help but feel slightly self conscious.

"I love you Chase… Robert." That was… awkward… Score one for Gregory House.

"You don't… You… you shouldn't." Chase was standing in front of him, hands on his shoulders pleading with him.

"And why shouldn't I?" He shifted his stance to adjust his weight better with Chase pushing on him.

"I bring down everyone I love… I don't… I don't want to cause your downfall." And it dawned on House what that light was… hopeful fear. "Please don't try to save me."


Lay it down
I've always been with you
Hear me now
With all that's within you
Be my savior
And I'll be your downfall

"I can't do that." He spoke softly and carefully as the cane fell from his finger tips and he brought his arms up and wrapped him around the younger man.

House figured he had one chance to do this right. He might as well do his best. He had started to lay it out and he was until Chase had heard all he'd had to say. Now was not the time for sarcasm.

"I came here for a reason Robert… I… would give you everything I have all the good and the bad… and I warn you there's a lot of bad. I can't promise to be some kind of savior but…"

"I'll hurt you in the end." Chase whispered pleading with him.

"I'm willing to take that risk. Maybe the downfall isn't what you think it is."


Now I'm back on my own
Hear my feet, they're made of stone
Man, I make you go where I go
Well hell, you, can I take you home
Well, I'm coming home on my back
Kissing me, your lips painted black
Saying
Let me be your downfall

House left Chase's apartment without any resolve but that was okay. He'd told Chase everything and Chase responded that he'd need time and House could him that. That wasn't a hard request. But each step to his bike felt like his feet were made of stone. He wanted to turn around and grab Chase and force him to go with him. He would feel better if he could keep Chase around him to know that he was cutting himself or forgetting his meds or… something.

He wished he'd asked Chase if he'd come home with him but once again he knew that Chase wouldn't have agreed. And coercion wasn't going to help in either case. He was about to swing his leg over the seat when he was turned around and kissed by Chase firmly. The kiss said everything that Chase needed it to say.

Let me love you, let me be your downfall.


Let me be your downfall

House thought hard about what Chase feared the downfall was… but all he found was that all that happened was their issues combined and they showed themselves just how miserable the other was. And while their love never faltered… House's realism prevailed. Love can't save everyone but sometimes, it makes the passage of time easier. And that was good enough for them both.


Rhiannon: Thank you to all the readers and lurkers and whatnot for reading...