Chapter 12
The ultimate wound
Michiru was angry with the blonde. She had wished that she would find a way… she had wished Haruka would have arranged everything. She knew it was unfair, but she just didn't want the things to be so simple… Haruka had hurt her, she had to pay the price. But she knew the blonde was already suffering too. She wanted to be in her arms, and she knew too that she had been mean the previous evening. Haruka had done something romantic, and desperate… she was usually more discreet and not a great sentimental. She had put her pride aside. Why Michiru hadn't been able to do the same after all? She didn't knew. In truth, her real impression at first wasn't bad, when she had seen Haruka and heard her words, she hadn't felt any anger but she had been touched. But after a little while, she had wanted to escape… she just didn't wanted Haruka's feelings for her being shown to everyone. It was intimate, something she liked to be the only one to see…
Haruka was disappointed. When she had it, she thought this was a great idea… Now she was on her sofa, looking at the ring. She was drunk. After Michiru left her, she had just came to a bar, then she had drank a whole bottle of the white wine Michiru used for cooking. She wasn't a heavy-drunker but this time she was desperate, and alcohol was said to kill heartaches. It was entirely wrong. Since she was drunk, the image of Michiru was everywhere, she could see everywhere. It had been quite difficult to drive back home in those conditions, she had been lucky not to meet a policeman on her way. She finally fell in a deep sleep.
After some hours of thinking, Michiru came to think she could have overreacted, she had calmed down. She was suffering, the pain was unbearable, and she knew her love was the same. She decided to let her a chance. She walked to her flat. When she arrived at the door, she hesitated. But this was the only way… she just wanted her back. She opened the door… and the scene she saw there totally horrified her. Haruka was lying on the sofa, dressed like the previous evening, there was an empty bottle of wine on the floor… She approached her and touched her face, it was hot. Haruka was probably ill after having drunk all this… Her skin hadn't it's usual scent of nature, that scent you have after having passed the day outside on a windy day… it had a disgusting scent of alcohol.
Haruka woke up. Her troubled eyes caught sight of Michiru's face… "I must be still drunk…and what a headache!" But she could feel her scent of ocean and the warmness of her hand caressing her cheek. "I'm not drunk… I'm dead…".
Michiru stood up. Haruka was pretty ill, she had fever and talked to herself things about being dead. She went to the kitchen and wet a towel to put on her forehead, then she brought her a blanket.
After a while, Haruka understood she wasn't drunk anymore…and clearly alive. Michiru was really there, taking care of her. She was ashamed. When Michiru went to the kitchen, she tried to get up but she just fall on the floor, that headache was pretty strong… Michiru came back when she heard the noise.
"Why did you move? Can't you stay quiet a minute?" Said Michiru with anger.
"I'm sorry… I don't deserve you. Go away Michiru… I don't want you to see me this way…"
"I won't let you in this state. Besides… I feel a bit guilty."
"Please don't. Don't stay there because you feel that way…I'd rather you staying because you love me… but since I spoiled everything…"
"Haruka, shut up! I won't hear a single word! I'm staying… and I won't tell you why."
"I love you and I'd like all this to be a nightmare…"
"Maybe it was… And that now we're awake." Said Michiru in a low and soft voice.
Haruka smiled, her eyes shining with joy and love. She couldn't believe it… Michiru leaned on her to give her a kiss… and suddenly Haruka awoke. It was past midday. Michiru wasn't there, but she had been. Haruka had a wet thing on her forehead and there was her scent all around. She had make a beautiful dream… but it was just a dream. Michiru had probably felt disgust at seeing her in this state. She had left a note.
I thought I could give you another chance (again) but I see you are lower than earth. I don't like shadows, but I hate drunk people. See you in hell.
Haruka felt very bad. She was stupid. The most stupid woman on earth. Now everything was totally ruined. She wanted to die.
Michiru knew she had been cruel, but she had had enough. Alcohol…and what more? Drugs maybe? She was angry, really angry. She was walking in Tokyo's streets without even looking where she was looking when she was knocked on the floor. She had crossed into a man.
"I'm sorry… You aren't hurt? Let me help you…" said the man.
"I'm alright, thanks."
"I'm Thomas… we met at university. We were in the same drawing class… You're Michiru Kaioh aren't you?"
"I am… and I don't remember you…"
"That's not important…can I offer you a drink or something?"
"Well…I…"
Michiru hesitated. She remembered this man now, he was one of those who tried to date her after her parting from Haruka. He was handsome but annoying, and she was in a bad mood. And she knew that if she accepted, everyone would think they were dating… and Haruka would know… That was the idea! Haruka would be so jealous that she would awake from her mental paralysis, she would be angry and she would fight. She would recover her strength… She would become back the real Haruka, her Haruka.
"I accept."
They entered the next café on their route. Michiru was lucky, she saw that many persons she knew were there… and more… there were people from Haruka's sport team and also people she used to see when she came with Haruka to the tracks… She couldn't have dreamt better… She tried to sound charming, though the man was really boring. At the end she saw Haruka's friends leaving, throwing her a disgusted glance. Haruka would know for sure.
Haruka phone rang. She had always that headache, but it was less strong. It was one of the guys who raced with her at the tracks… she didn't know he had her phone number…
"Tenoh?"
"Yes, what is it?"
"We saw your girlfriend…"
"I think I've got no girlfriend anymore, she left long ago…" she said in a weak voice.
"Well… so you won't mind if I tell you that I saw her on a café, dating another guy…"
"What?"
"She is this Michiru person, isn't she?"
"A minute! You said my Michiru was dating a filfthy man!"
"She was, that's sure, they looked very near..."
Haruka left the apartment and jumped in her car. She went by the street, searching for the place they had told her Michiru was…She finally found it. Michiru was easy to find with those turquoise blue hair… And actually Michiru was with a young man…She jumped out of the car and came in. Michiru caught sight of her instantly. She wasn't expecting her to find out so soon… but maybe it was better… Haruka seemed angry… in fact she was mad… She put a hand on Michiru's shoulder.
"Hi Michiru, is everything OK?"
"Haruka… what a surprise!"
"Can you tell me what you think you're doing?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
"Tenoh… don't make her a scene; she's free now. And I invited her…" said the young man.
"You shut up!" yelled Haruka.
She went to him and punched him on the face. Michiru wasn't expected her to be so direct…
"How did you dare to touch her!" said Haruka between two punches.
"Haruka… don't! It isn't his fault!" said Michiru.
Finally her great plan wasn't working as expected. She had wished that Haruka would be jealous, that she would argue with the man and that after she would have been fully conscious to tell Michiru all that she wanted to hear… she had been far too optimistic.
"Haruka… Please stop this…"
Haruka seemed to hear her at last.
"So whose fault is it? I guess it yours…"
Haruka suddenly seemed less angry, she let go of the man who ran as fast as he could. She looked hurted. Michiru's face was sad too… "She is probably mad at me for having hit her new boyfriend… and what's that thing in her eyes… it is love… sure it isn't for me anymore… but for him…"
"I… I'm sorry. We're not dating anymore, I shouldn't have intervene… Tell this awful… your new… this man I'm sorry. Good luck Michiru… I really don't deserve you… I'm jealous, possessive and I can't control myself… hitting everyone… I'll try to be better… but without you… I'm sorry"
Haruka got up. She went out of the café.
"Haruka… don't… wait Haruka! Wait!"
The blonde seemed not to hear her. She came out without any look at Michiru. It was too painful. Michiru ran after her, but it was too late; Haruka was gone.
