Author's Note: I didn't get a lot of reviews on the last chapter but I think that's bcause the sight was screwed up. Oh well. Thanks for my review. (Yes I only got one and am feeling severely underloved.) Send me a review. Please my birthday's in a week. Check out my other fic Legacy if you have time.
Disclaimer: Why do I even bother. Cause I don't want to get sued but anyway. Not mine. I can't even have it for my birthday.
NextMinerva was waiting in her office for potential Potion's Professor candidates. She heard a knock on her door.
"Come in." She stood to shake hands with the short man who entered.
"Hello," he said in a high squeaky voice. It made Minerva wince internally. Mentally she crossed off candidate number one. If she couldn't stand him neither could the students. "I'm Maurice Slevinshiggen."
Minerva bid him goodbye five long minutes later. "Next."
"Hello Professor."
"Mr. Arnoldson what are you doing here."
"Applying for the position."
"Mr. Arnoldson please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm looking or someone who actually passed fifth year potions."
"Oh okay Professor, I'll be on my way."
"Goodbye."
She stood up once again to greet the next prospective candidate. She wondered what she'd gotten herself into.
"Next."
"Yo hey, what's up M-Dog? Yo yeah I'm here to appply for the potions posit. I'm so what yo lookin' for. I can put potis (po-teese) together no prob. Yo know what I mean."
"Erm, Mr. Little G…"
"No M-Dog just Little G. Mister so cramps my style. Yo know what I'm talkin' 'bout?"
"Okay Little G…"
"Yo, there you go."
"I'm sorry but, this just isn't going to work."
"Oh yeah, I get it. You want someone with more educa. I get it. Yo not down with me. Fine."
The rapper dude walked out. Heaven help me, she thought. Once again she stood. "Next."
"Hello I'm Astabulia Popinshorlington. I'm all about DISCIPLINE, DISCIPLINE, DISCIPLINE. No nonsense. All rules. Rules, rules, RULES. Rules are very important. And respect. I'm all about respect. I will be respected. Those little maggots, I mean students, shall be molded into rule abiding citizens." Minerva quickly interupted the no nonsense ex-army general.
"Erm Mrs. Popinsington,"
"It's Popinshorlington ma'am."
"Oh sorry Mrs. Popinshorlingtin."
"Popinshorlington."
"Yes, sorry. You're just not right for the job."
"Fine ma'am you be that way." She stalked out. The next hour was much the same as the first. All the candidates were nuts to say the least. She'd interviewed a clown, a monk, a gas station attendant, and a banker. She stood once again.
"Next," she called.
The door opened slowly. Standing there was a woman dressed in high black leather boots. She was wearing a short, tight, leather dress.
"Hey, how much will you pay for the gig."
"The gig?"
"Yeah you know, the job."
"This is a teaching position."
"Yeah I know that."
"A potions position."
"Yeah I was an excellent potion maker until I gave it up for my current job."
"And erm, what exactly would that be?" she asked apprehensively. She was afraid of the answer.
"Oh I hire myself out for sex."
"So, that's just a more respectable way of saying you're a whore."
"Yeah you could say that I suppose. But I'm really good at making potions."
"Well thank you Ms. Cleveland. If you get the position we will be in touch."
Minerva kept the smile pasted on her face until the door closed. Sadly she was the best candidate so far. 'Help me,' she thought. Come on Albus, please give me at least one good candidate. No more of your twisted humor. Minerva didn't even bother too stand up when she heard a knock on the door. "If you're a slut, a clown, a monk, a nun, a burger flipper, an attendant of any kind, a banker, a military personel, or an athlete you need not apply."
"I'm here to apply for the potion's position," the voice called. "Last time I checked, I wasn't any of those things."
"Come in then," Minerva said wearily. She lifted her head. Standing in the doorway was a tall clean shaven man with dark brown hair. It was slightly above shoulder length. His eyes were brown and full of intelligence. His face was unmarked except for a few smile lines. His skin was a healthy tan. 'Thank you Albus,' she said mentally.
"And who would you be?"
"Jay Blackwell."
"Okay," she said writing his name down. "And your qualifications?"
"I've taught Potions for 14 years. I graduated first in my Potions' class."
"Where did you teach?"
"A small all boys wizarding school in Salem, Massachusetts."
"Ah so you've been in the states. You don't sound like you're from around there."
"No I'm not. In all reality I'm really an English boy at heart. I grew up just outside of London."
"I don't recall you at Hogwarts."
"I went to school in Australia. My family moved there when I was ten. I attended Girard Institute for Magical Education."
"How large was your graduating class?"
"145 students."
"About the size of Hogwarts then."
"Yes, I've heard the schools are
similar in size."
"I'm afraid I don't know much about the
wizarding schools outside of Europe." She smiled. "Well Mr.
Blackwell, I'd like to hire you. But first we must discuss your
salary. You would earn 10 galleons an hour. So that's 100 a day.
Classes are in session from 8-2. Lunch is an hour. It's from 12-1.
As a professor you are always on duty."
"That's fine. By now I'm used to it."
"Hogwarts is co-ed unlike Girard. You'll have to be careful of the females. They can be a bit touchy at times. Oh yes, as a professor you are expected to eat meals in the Great Hall. Your chambers will be in the dungeons. No way around it I'm afriad. Come, I'll take you on a tour. There aren't any other applicants waiting outside are there?"
"No I'm the last one."
"Oh good. The Quidditch field is over there," she said pointing out the window. "There are four houses. Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw. You'll be Slytherin's head of house."
They walked down several stairways. "Beware of the staircases. They tend to move around a lot. This is the Great Hall. All the meals are eaten here." They walked a bit more. "The dungeons. If you get lost just ask the portraits, or the ghosts. Don't ask the students. They'll eat you alive. Never let them know you're scared. I swear they can smell fear. Here are the kitchens."
"So are there any students in particular I should look out for?"
"The Slytherin's will expect a bit o favoritism. Please do not over do it. Everybody else is generally well behaved. You ought to be thanking your lucky stars that you never had to deal with the Weasley twins. They're the biggest pair of trouble makers Hogwarts has had in 25 years. The Gryffindor's and Slytherin's have a fierce rivalry. I'd try to stay out of it. Oh, and Ginny Weasley. She's a wonderful girl really, but ocassionally she seems to be the third Weasley twin. She takes after her brothers on ocassion. It grates on the nerves sometimnes. She's cheeky as all get out, but doesn't really misbehave. I swear, in all my years of teaching I've never had a student like her. She'll know if you mess up, so make sure you have your facts straight. Apparently she's excellent at Potions. And trust me if Severus gave her a O she certainly deserved it."
"So she's got a spit fire tongue?"
"Absolutely. You make take points if the students misbehave, or are rude. Alright well the tour ends here. Feel free to walk around. You'll get used to the castle after a couple of days. You may join me for dinner if you wish."
"Actually I think I'd like to move in."
"Alright. Goodbye Mr. Blackwell."
"Really, just call me Jay."
"Alright Jay, you may call me Minerva."
"Good night Minerva."
Author's Note: Sorry I took so long to update. I may update tomorrow. I have a half day. Please review. I got practically no reviews on the last chappie. I'm out of prewritten material so I'm gonna have to start writing as I type. Next chapter is the ride to Hogwarts.
